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Unprotected Vaginal Sex

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I have a 2 part question as I'm really worried about something I did last night, and I'm wondering if anyone could please give me some advise?

1. I ended up having unprotected sex with a girl that I don't know and met for the first time last night. We were doing it for about 2 - 2 1/2 hours on and off, and again this morning but only for about 20 mins. It is the first time I have had a one night stand, and I really regret doing it as I've been nothing but worried ever since. I have roughly read through past postings about people who have done the same kind of thing, but I have a concern which I can't find answered elswhere. During last night's sex, I did not ejaculate at all, as I was fairly drunk. I am wondering if somehow, by me not ejaculating, that this would make me more suspectable to contracting HIV. My reasoning is that there was no flushing action caused by the ejaculation to flush out my urethra therefore allowing a longer exposure to the (possible) virus. Is this a stupid way of looking at it as I don't know if it would actually make a difference?

2. My main reason for panicking about this today is that I noticed some blotching on her skin this morning after we had finished. She says that it was due to Vitiligo, which I know is a pigment disorder, it was white patches of normal skin as opposed to sores of any kind. It wasn't until she mentioned that Vitilago is an auto immune disease that I became worried, not knowing fully what this meant. Can the fact that she has this disorder be related to having HIV/AIDS? I did some Google on the topic where some mention it could be a marker for the virus?  She mentioned having many partners in the past and I suspect some drug use of some kind, but can't be sure of any injectables.

I know this is all quite vague, and when I look back I shouldn't have done this, but I'd really appreciate an opinion from someone elses perspective.

Thanks for reading this


As you had unprotected sex with a person of unknown status, it would be a really good idea to get an HIV test at 13 weeks past your encounter. Also, a full STD panel at 13 weeks would be a good idea.

As for the ejaculation, I have not found any scientific evidence to suggest that it impacts the susceptibility of a male insofar as STDs, including HIV, are concerned.

As for your partner's skin disorder, it has absolutely no bearing on her presumed HIv status. It's important to assume that your partner is HIV positive until such time as you have both tested reliably negative together. And, of course, it's entirely possible to have a fulfilling intimate relationship with someone who is HIV positive and not become infected, as long as you wear a latex condom for penetrative sex.

Andy Velez:
As Jonathan has told you, you had unsafe sex. Unprotected intercourse is THE high risk sexual activity. If I am scaring you it's because I mean to. Everytime you have unprotected intercourse you are putting your life at risk. It's as stark as that.

So you need to learn from this experience and in the future everytime you have intercourse you need to be wearing a condom. It doesn't matter whom you are with or what you think you know about your partner's history or how great they look. A condom is a must everytime.

Now, as to dealing with this experience. All of that whoha about her blotchy skin and whatever means absolutely nothing as far as HIV is concerned. You are responsible for your own health. Which means that you need to get an HIV test at 13 weeks as the CDC recommends.

It maybe of some comfort to you to know that HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It's significantly harder to accomplish from female to male. So the odds are in your favor that you will test negative. But lower risk is not the same thing as no risk. Hopefully you will test negative. And then you need to commit to always using condoms so you don't have to go through this again.

Should you find yourself having any symptoms that are bothering you, discuss them with your doctor. There are other STDs out there. Anyone who's sexually active should get a full STD panel done at least once a year and every six months is even better.

Good luck with your test result.



Thankyou jkinatl2 and Andy for your quick replies.

I intend to take the test at 13 weeks, I most probably won't see my partner again, so I think getting a definitive answer on her status will not happen. I of course would inform her if the worst is to happen.

In addition to this test, I have heard of the PEP treatment, would you know if this is suitable for me, or am I being overly paranoid...

I have learned a hard lesson today, so will definitely not be doing that again.

Thanks & Best


No, PEP would not be suitable. As Andy mentioned to you, the odds are already in your favour of testing negative. PEP is a month-long grueling regimen of toxic drugs and is normally only used where there is a very clear and present danger of a person becoming infected. In your case, there isn't.

As the unprotected insertive partner, you are much more likely to have caught one of the other STIs such as chlamydia. Make sure you get a full panel of STI tests at the appropriate time - which for all but syphilis and hiv is in approximately two weeks time, unless symptoms such as unusual discharge show up before then. Here at Aidsmeds we concentrate on hiv, but check out the inSPOT website.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence. Have a read of the Welcome Thread as well and follow the links for further information.



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