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Author Topic: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain  (Read 37928 times)

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Offline BT65

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Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« on: May 27, 2008, 07:35:31 AM »
Morning ladies,

Yeah, I officially started this new thread.  Last night I was up 1/2 the night with a heating pad on my left upper leg/knee.  I'm not sure what's going on with my upper leg bone, but it hurts as well.  My knee feels like there's nothing there, but at the same time has sheering pain.  My right knee hurts and grinds (you can actually hear it) when I move it, but it's nothing compared to the left one.  So, I e-mailed my doctor this morning about it and told him I need a referral to an orthopaedist who's willing to work with HIV+ people.  I do have a $1200 brace the other bone doctor prescribed, which I will be wearing again (it's for the left knee).  Maybe that will give the knee some support when I'm walking.  I'm too young to be in a wheelchair.  I ended up in a wheelchair when I went through the wasting, and it's hard to maneuver around in one.  Of course, I did get the best parking etc.  And if I ever had to be in another one, it would definitely be one of those nice reclining electric ones. ;)

Today I'm going back to the ASO to do my volunteer work.  That gets me out of the house, and out of myself.  I find that when I'm feeling bad about something, if I can help someone else (or try to), it makes me feel better.  Sometimes I wish I would have taken classes this summer, but then again I guess I needed a break. 

When I was at the NA convention this weekend, I met a girl who told me she was clinically dead, and that's why she has a hard time remembering things.  I told her "bah;" I've been clinically dead twice and while I have to go over things more than I used to, it's possible to still have a memory.  She only had 90 days clean, and I told her that's most likely why she can't remember things well.  I told her to give herself time, and the memory part of her brain would come back.  I know when I was first getting clean (both the 1st time and this last time), it took awhile for my brain to fully function again.  I really did have a wonderful time at the convetion, so the pain I'm having is worth the good time I had.  Of course, that ride I took on that beautiful Harley only added to the goodness of the weekend.  There were a couple ladies there who had beautiful Harleys also.  And big ones, not just the little Sporster version. 

Anyway, I hope you ladies have a good morning.  Queen, if you're lurking, I'm thinking about you.  I'll be back later.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2008, 07:59:26 AM »
Good morning ladies!  Back from a beautiful weathered Memorial Day weekend.  The beauty left us last night when the steady rain rolled in, but with temps up to the mid-70's, I really can't complain too much. 

Our oldest son (he'll be 11 next month - YIKES!) woke up Saturday with his entire face swollen with an itchy, red, scaley rash on it and his neck.  He was wondering in the tall grass near a creek at the park on Friday night and must have gotten into something.  It's not poison ivy, oak, or semac.  He got this last year during football season.  They practice in a feild near a creek and he and some friends went down to pee.  We're thinking he may be allergic to whatever is sprayed in the creeks to kill mosquito larvae.   He woke up Sunday with both eyelids so swollen that his eyes were shut.  We kept him doped on Benedryl and used Benedryl cream to keep down the itch.  Yesterday his eyes looked better, but he was more itchy.  The Benedryl was making him tired, but he wouldn't take a nap, so he was quite cranky and snippy.  He laid down, finally, at 1 and slept until after 3.  He woke up a much nicer person.  So far, he's still asleep which is unusual for him.  He's our crazy early bird - up before 6am.

Queen: I'm sorry for what you are going through, but I certainly understand your need for a break.  Just know that you will not be forgotten and we'll all still be here for you when you come back.

Betty: Glad you had a good time at your convention.  Also sorry about your knees, sounds like you over did it and they're complaining.  I sure hope you can find some relief and a good ortho doc who can help.  Have a great day today at the ASO.  I think your volunteering is an awesome thing to do.

Snow: Sorry about that!  I thought I'd read somewhere that you were working (outside the home).  My brain must be on slow mode.  Hope the kiddies are feeling better.

That's about all going on here.  I finished our table cloth yesterday and last night we ate dinner for the first time around the same table.  Before, poor #5 and #6 had to eat in highchairs pulled up to the table.  Next project, kitchen cabinets and making the new shower curtain. 

Love to you all!
Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2008, 08:37:14 AM »
Good Morning All!

Betty-I'm glad you had a good time. Take care of your knee...it sounds like it really hurts!
Mum- That rash has got to be uncomfortable for him. I hate itching! Are you making a shower curtain out of fabric? I have one that you can wash. It is the kind they use in hotels. They last longer than the plastic ones
Queen- Hang in there! Is there anyone you can just talk to? Are you still seeing your therapist?

Not much here. I spent the weekend trying to get motivated to grade and do my lesson plans. I want another day off! Talk to you all later!  :)

tendai

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2008, 09:57:25 AM »
hie ladies

queen - im glad u decided not to leave, whoever that person is they dont deserve a second thought. some people dont have anything better to do than go around spreading negative energy

mum - how u feeling now?

cindy - is that you on the advert thingy for pozpersonals on the blog page? theres someone who looks like you on it. Cheech does  look younger with his new cut. My condolences about Clyde, may he rest in peace..

viv - dont u wish u could forge a doctors note and get another day off ;)

Snow - it gets cold here like 9 degrees or something. i guess im so usedt o the heat that the slightest drop feels like its about to snow or somthing. i hope your babies get well soon.

Netta - your pics are great. u look a bit like my boss's anaesthetist, she's also got dreadlocks

Betty - i hope you get treatment for your knee. im glad u had a good weekend

my weekend was okay. my sister came over with her son. he no longer looks like an alien, he's getting quite handsome with his big head and huge eyes. he's walking like a penguin now. shyguy wanted us to hook up on saturday but i didnt go. he sent me a message just now, more like a booty call. i mean whats it  mean when someone texts u "i'll pay u back in kind, want some?". of course i want some. here we go again with the disclosure monster...ugh


Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2008, 11:49:15 AM »
Well, my doctor told me to go back to the bone doctor I've seen in the past.  He said if the bone doctor has trouble (a blockage in his brain I say) in treating me, he (my doctor) would talk to him.  So, I've got an appointment for this Thursday.  I've got the brace on the left knee and it seems to give it some support.  I've also got an appointment next week for a mammogram.  Last year when I had one, I had to have a needle biopsy done on a lump I had in my right boob.  It was benign, but I never went back for a follow-up mammo.  So, that takes care of those two things. 

Mum, I hope your son's condition clears up soon.  How are you feeling?

Viv, I wish you had another day off also.  Doncha love holidays?

Tendai, so you're going to see Shyguy?  Like on a date? 

I'm getting ready to eat lunch and go to the ASO.  I'll be back later this evening.  Love you all.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2008, 02:13:31 PM »
Vyv: yep, I'm making the shower curtain from fabric.  I'm quilting it.  I've got everything cut out, I just need to find time to sew it together and quilt it.  We have a fabric curtain now, with a seperate plastic liner behind it.  I'll keep the plastic liner behind this one, too.  The table cloth I made is also quilted.  I had a bunch of material that someone gave me, so, except for my time, both are free.

Ten and Betty: I'm feeling better.  It was a wee bit worse last night and this morning.  It's been wet and rainy, so there must be a connection.  I haven't had a breathing treatment for 2 days.  Energy level sucks, but when I exercise, it gets hard to breathe.  I'm not good at taking it easy.  I leave for my annual kidless vacation in 12 days and this MUST be gone by then.  I'm still on Bioxin until Thursday.

 Our oldest is doing better.  His eyes aren't swollen shut and we can see his eyelids now.  Under his eyes is still a bit puffy, but better.  His face, however, is still really swollen, especially around his jaw line.  I'm putting coco butter on his face because the skin is so rough and scaley.  I hope it smooths back out.  He's not a good sick person.  He's also OCD and GAD (general anxiety disorder), which just makes things that much worse..for all of us.

The thundering horde is waking up.  My rest time is over.  Quick moochies to all of you!
Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2008, 02:54:23 PM »
Its a rainy day here today. Its nice. I like it. Beats the hell out of 95 + degree weather. I do have a rather large broken limb in the tree out front. Its stuck inside the tree but I'm not worried about it, not my job. LOL

I learned a long time ago when you divulge alot of personal information about yourself online the people that are reading about you get to feel as if they know you. They remember all the crap you've done, forgotten and gotten over, Your secrets, thoughts and desires, ect...
They get comfortable enough in knowing you that they feel its necessary or possibly their right or duty to inform you of their opinions about your life or situations that you are dealing with.That's the danger in blogging about your life.

Its a nice release to write down all your intimate issues and personal struggles. But unless you can control who is reading what you write you will be dealing with unpleasant people or people you'd rather leave you alone.

I'm sorry your having trouble with some of your readers not getting you Queen. I can sympathise.


Mum sorry about your big guys eyes. Poor thing.

Sorry about your knees Betty. I agree with you about the brain thing.

Tendai I know everyone is different but those booty call guys make me feel disrespected. Makes me feel like a piece of meat.
I'll pay u back in kind, want some?"

Where's the romance in that?




Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2008, 03:34:57 PM »
hi ladies,

Betty I am so sorry to hear you are in what sounds like excruciating pain. You are admirable going about your business despite that, but please watch out not to make it worst. The retreat sounds amazing, I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that room you slept it. It's nice to meet strong women online but I do miss/need some real life inspiration.

no time for pain, I like that... there's a lot of things I don't have time for... I have uttermost respect for you Queen for putting up with that crap, I guess that comes with the terittory, and I know I would be deleting anyone who bugged me obssesively like that. I decided not to honor that dude with a response, I don't need to flaunt my achievements the way he does, that would be pretty pathetic, I think... anyway, it's not about him, at all.

Mom I hope your boy will be better and also yourself.

Tendai I second Wini, I don't like the turn shyguy's taken, not so shy after all. I thought he was supposed to be your friend. But hey you're a big girl, just looking out for ya though... I am so glad about your nephew, that is amazing news (knock on wood).

Netta you look great in the pics, I can't beleive how young you look, and glowing.

Viv when is your well earned vacation starting already.

Veritee, I know this belong in another thread but I hope you find more people in Cornwall and I would love to visit there one day. I do go to the UK once in a while.

Snow, how are the kids? hopefully better. You must have your hands full. I don't know how I will make the transition from slacker to mother, what a challenge...

Keeping, how's married life? And Wishful, Cindy, Camms, Cristy, Pink, and many more ladies I am sure I am missing now b/c I am starving and it's already 21.30 here - how are you doing?

xoxo

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline keepingfaith

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2008, 04:43:20 PM »
Good Afternoon Ladies,


Just dropping in. I posted earlier but somehow it got lost. O well. I have had a wonderful 3 day vacation. I didn't know how to act. My hubby took me out to eat Friday and out to eat and shopping on Saturday. Sunday we cleaned the carpet in the house and Yesterday we spent time with family. We BBQ'ed and played games with the children. Now back at work with a damn headache. But I did get some much needed rest this past weekend. Nothing exciting going on for me this week


Betty- Sorry to hear about your knee. I know that must hurt. I have fluid on mines and I woke up one morning and I couldn't walk. But getting up off the floor sometimes can be a pain

Queen- Take all the time you need for yourself but please don't leave us for good. You were one of the first women to bring me back this way when I was first diagnosed.

Drag- I am O So Loving the married life. We seem to be getting along better since we are married than when we were just "courting" ;)

Snow- Sorry to hear about your babies also. I know it must get hetic having all of them sick. I hope you don't get it. I'm the kind of person that picks up every virus these children have at this center.

Shouts out to all my other Girlfriends.  Wish, CJC, netta, Ten, Viv, and whom every I may have forgotten. Love you all.

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2008, 05:47:12 PM »
Betty- Nice thread title! :)  I had a mammogram today, I started giggling because it wasn't what I expected at all.  Who knew your boob could get squished like that?  I hope everything goes well with yours. 

Queen-  Sorry people have been giving you so much crap, that is the last thing you need right now.  I am glad you are only taking a break and not leaving us all together, that would make us all sad  :(

Drag- The kiddos are all feeling better and went back to school today.  You will be amazed at what you can do when you become a mother, somethings that matter to you now, will not even become a thought and things you would never think of in a million years now, suddenly become a daily occurance. 

Keeping- Sounds like you had a fun weekend!  I glad you are enjoying married life. 

Ten- I never realized it got that cold there.  I hate it when it is really cold like that, I like the 60-70- low 80's, hate being too hot too :)  Forget about shyguy, you can find someone else that deserves your attention.

Viv- Got anything planned for summer vacation?  did you end up getting the A/C?

Wish- Where are you?

Mum- I am glad to hear the swelling went down, it sucks when we are sick but it sucks even more when are kids are sick.  I hate that feeling of not being able to make them feel 100% better.  Where are you guys going for your vacation?

It is really humid here today, it poured earlier.  I have a feeling this summer is going to suck.  I put 20 bucks in my tank yesterday and had to fill up again today because I didn't realize the boys couldn't wear opened toed sandles to school, so I had to go right back with thier sneakers :-\  Then I went for my mammogram, got a grill from Home Depot and took my elderly friend to the library and then picked up the kids from school.  Oh, the exciting life I lead....NOT!

Hope everyone has a great night!!!!

Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Veritee

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2008, 06:29:57 AM »
Dear All
It is earlyish morning here - 7.21 am no one is up so I am popping in................ as I have a bit of time for a change  ;D

I thought I would include some pics in this post so I can share with you a bit of my life and how I live - I hope that's OK?

Queen - I wrote something at the end of the last thread about your difficulties with people online - I hope you read it, I really do feel for your situation and believe I have been there too with a group of people on the net and it is horrible. But you make friends too on the net and they can help you counter act what is happening

Snow - yes the mammogram, god yes it is awful isn't it? - because I am over 50 and over 50s have regular mammograms in the UK as routine tests, I have now had three................... and it is a real shock that they squash your breast so hard like that, I found it actually pretty painful and wondered if such a procedure would not cause breast problems. I know it will not, but it hurt so much it felt like it must do some damage?

Betty - I am sorry about your knee pain - what is causing it? Do you know? If it is bone pain that is the worse. I am a bit disabled due to an accident and have had many operations on my left leg and been in a lot of pain due to it - my ankle is now fused but it still hurts now and then and I spent a year in a wheelchair due to it at one point as I had to wear a horrible fixator and I also have damaged arthritic knees that are very painful and have had an operation on both of them due to this .........

I ride an electrified three wheel bike to get out and about and walk my dogs due to my injuries

But at least I know what is causing it, which does help
So I hope you find out what is wrong soon - sorry I did not mean to go on about my leg problems - just meant to share that I can understand how painful it can be

Drag - I agree you will be amazed at what you can do when you become a mum. Your need to look after your child seems to over ride how you feel :) I did not have HIV when my daughter was younger - she is 18 now, but I have had other health and other problems and also a bad accident which left me with mobility difficulties and my husband was away at sea all the time so he could not help me look after her.

You are always very welcome to visit me Drag - I do live a very long way from where people usually arrive in the UK, but if you are ever over here you are very welcome - and yes I hope I find some other women nearby with HIV soon - nice women like you all I hope

minismom - I am glad you are feeling a bit better, do they know what it is yet that is causing your breathing problems ?

My husband had PCP pneumonia for a long time - several months - and we did not know what it was for many months as they did not suspect PCP  as they did not know he had HIV - he got so very ill -  and it sounded so much like what you describe with not being able to breath and not being able to exercise as then he could not breath at all etc - but I guess your doctors know that you have HIV so I guess they have considered PCP already????? have they????

I do not know where you get the time to do that quilting with your children to look after? I used to quilt but it was one of the many things I stopped doing when my baby was born and have never done it again - and I only ever had one birth child and 2 foster children and I did not have HIV then - you sound like supermum compaired to me .

Me We had a bank holiday weekend just gone but the weather was just so awful. it rained and rained and it is still raining now.

 But when it is sunny the place I live is great - here are a few local scenes i.e the beach the picturesque mine stacks, my dog on a wall outside my house etc





You may not be interested but here  is a pic of my lovely daughter when she was very young:



and one when she was about 12:

She is to me very beautiful - then and now -  and I would love to show you a picture of her now but she would not want to be identified as she is now.
As.......................
She is not happy with me at all currently - it is like I am to blame for everything ???-  including the HIV - yet I have never had any risky sex or any sex at all other than very occasionally with my husband - her father - or any other risky stuff, at all for several years before she was born, and not ever since she was born .......I so. so wanted to be a great mum and really did change my life around to be a good mum ..............and I was a great mum .................yet I still have acquired HIV and she still blames me!!!!!!!

My husband who brought HIV to us - she loves unconditionally - me she really dislikes right now, yet I so love her so muchand just want to be loved by her - my tradegy I suppose as I doubt it will ever change now

 - I do not think really there is any justice sometimes !!! But then we all love Barry as he is a lovely person, so I understand why she loves him so much -  maybe I am just not so lovable???

Anyway another one of her a few years ago at 12:

it was before 8am when I started this post - then I had to go and sort out my family for the day  - then it took me so long to find the pics on my hard disk

So it is now 11.18 in the UK, got to get on with my life now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love to all

Veritee XXX

« Last Edit: May 28, 2008, 07:06:48 AM by Veritee »
I have a blog here, please do not judge me on what I say here- I need to offload and this is where I do it: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2008, 08:38:45 AM »
Morning ladies,

First, I heard from our Queen via e-mail.  She's doing alright, but the wounds she feels from the boards are still fresh.  Her oldest son has gotten ahold of her and found a lawyer for $2500 that he says will take his case.  Her ASO won't help out with the ride to the liver specialist; they say they won't because it's not HIV related.  It, to me, sounds like her case manager just doesn't want to do her job.  She misses us and wishes us ladies well.

Mum, I'm glad your oldest is doing better.  When my daughter was little, we went to a cottage once by a lake.  She ended up with over 50 misquito bites on her and had to go on tapered doses of Cortisone.  They all got bigger than 50 cent pieces. 

Wendy, it looks like you live in a lovely neighborhood.  I agree about putting your life out on the computer; I guess you risk all kinds of people responding.  Myself, I don't care what people think.  I truly don't.  But there are times when I keep my opinion to myself about someone else.

Drag, yes, there's nothing like having strong women in one's life.  I need those women, believe me.

Keeping, it sounds like you had a wonderful weekend.  I'm so glad you're enjoying married life.  Good for you!

Snow, it was humid here Sunday and Monday-very humid.  Now, it's cooled back down into the 50's.  I think this time last year we were already in the upper 80's.

Veritee, just to clear up-Mum is not HIV+.  She has a daughter who is (Mini).  I know, it's hard to keep up sometimes.  My pain is caused from different things-one being avascular necrosis, which is basically the dying out of the bone.  I fractured both kneecaps years ago when I was pushed down a flight of stairs by a guy I used to be in a relationship with (among other damage).  My right knee grinds all the time when I move it and has fluid on it-oh, and the cartilage is collapsing.  The left knee, which is the one that really hurts, has no more cartilage in it.  That's what the bone doctor told me about a year ago.     I'm sorry you're still having trouble with your daughter.  You're right, she is a beautiful girl.  Has she ever had counseling?  I'm wondering how much of it is anger because of you having a potentially fatal disease.  She really needs to come to grips with her anger, though.  You don't need that, and she needs to know that in no uncertain terms. 

When I've had mammograms before, they never really did hurt.  When they did the needle biopsy last year, the doctor accidentally knicked a blood vessel, and they couldn't get the site to quit bleeding.  So, he had to put in a tiny metal clip, which is still in there.  I wonder if I'd set off any alarms (just kidding).  I know I wouldn't-hell, my upper jaw has a titanium plate in it and that's never set any off.  Mammograms don't bother me though.  I'd rather be safe than sorry. 

Nothing exciting happened yesterday at the ASO.  Just the usual.  People wanting case management, clients coming in with different complaints and just wanting to talk, people coming in wanting an HIV test (they do them right there) etc.  Today will probably be much of the same.  This weekend I'll be a bit busy.  NA here is having a speak-a-thon (where there are a few different speakers sharing on different things) and I committed to helping cook for the dinner that happens beforehand.  Sunday I have a meeting with my NA sisterhood about our upcoming speak-a-thon.  Just different activities going on.  Which is good I suppose; it keeps me out of trouble.  I hope you ladies have a good day.  Take care of yourselves.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #12 on: May 28, 2008, 09:24:03 AM »
Hie ladies

Veritee - its beautiful where u live and your daughter is so pretty, i'm sure shes a beautiful woman now. Hopefully she'll change her attitude towards you soon

Snow - u and me both, give me heat anyday. especially in the mornings! the water will be so cold and you cant heat any coz there wont be electricity.  its shortcuts almost everyday when i bath, im going to rot off! :) The nights are just as bad or worse, especially when u all alone in bed. These days I got my sister and her son, who wakes up in the middle of the night playing and climbing on people's heads :D.

Hie Keeping - sounds like lifes good for you guys, im glad for you.

mum - im glad u and your son are getting better, heres hoping u'll continue to improve

Shyguy isnt shy after all. Hmm.  Typical male.  I almost thought he was a virgin, but i dont think so anymore.  Of course i wont take him up on his offer to get "some", really dont need that kind of stress right now.  We'll just be friends, nothing more. Betty - i dont think we'll ever get to the point where we'll go on a real date.  the way he's going i think he just wants to get invited to my place and get 'some'. Not going to happen... I'm with Win and Drag, where's the romance in that? I mean yes i might want to jump his bones or have him jump my bones but i would want it to happen the romantic way. I dont think that word still exists in the vocabulary of the men around here.. ::)

Silly weather we're having, hot one minute cold the next, wish it would just make up its mind.
Things are getting ridiculously expensive now its unreal.  $2billion for a 2kg packet of rice, 3bn for 10kg of mealie meal. the buses $200million a ride. there is no way we're going to make it to 27 June to vote in peace, somthings got to give.  even those who thought they had deep pockets are complaining, its just too much now.  I just dont know, i feel like going out there and spending all the money i have coz its pointless keeping money as it just loses value by the hour.  And u cant even get your money from the bank again, motionless queues at the banks.  
Knowing my fellow citizens we're just going to shut up and take it and take it and take it. I dont know why people are so afraid to take back their national pride and dignity or whatever. it makes me so mad that we are so hardworking and all then we go and work as slaves in other countries and get killed and harrassed in the process as if we're some kind of unwelcome parasites. All because of one crazy selfish senile geriatric who refuses to let the country recover all because he's afraid to be sent to jail when he's out of power.  I hope things get so tough people will be forced to boycott or strike or whatever so long as they DO SOMETHING.  We shouldnt have to live like this, where your salary wont last a week and prices go up by the day. >:(

I've just come from the VCT centre with a friend. Had to sneak off work and say im going to the bank.  She wanted to get tested, which she did, turned out poz. she was expecting it though, she was always going on about its saying 'i know i have it but i wont get tested, i'll just take herbs'etc. anyway she says she's still in shock it hasnt sunk in yet. she'll be spending the night at my place coz apparently her husband chased her away when she asked him to go wtih her to get tested, coz he's quite sick but he wont go to the clinic or anything. anyway she's going to Botswana maybe Friday to work. Says she'll just focus on work and looking after her daughter. At least she's taken it well.  I think. I'm exhausted.  

Offline Veritee

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #13 on: May 28, 2008, 10:49:27 AM »
Thanks Betty for explaining

We seem to be in similar situations re our knees.

I know about vascular necrosis as this was one reason I had to have an ankle fusion in the end - they took out the 'bad' bone and pinned everything in my my ankle so it does not move anymore and made my ankle fuse to my leg bone so I no longer have an ankle joint at all - but also no longer have any dying bone as they removed this too as mine was in my ankle joint bones  - I belong to an ankle fusion yahoo group where many have had this in their ankles - I know it is very painful where ever it is.

I hope your 'bone doctor can suggest something as while you can get on quite well without an ankle joint you have to have a knee joint. I have no carteledge in my knees also and have had keyhole operations on both to wash out the joint - to remove the shards of broken off bone that come away when you have no cartilage and your joint is like this, that  cause such terrible pain when you move it - and to repair/smooth the surfaces as much as is possible - but the the only thing suggested as a real solution for my knees is a knee replacement and I am not ready for this as yet so I keep refusing. As they only last a few years and I feel at 55 I am too young as yet - I so hope your doctor has other suggestions.

As for for my daughter - I think her feelings about me started when I had the horse riding accident - which caused most of my current leg problems - and was in a wheelchair in 2003 for a year or so and not from HIV which I only knew about in January this year.

She seemed to be an ordinary loving daughter up until then - she seemed to love me and I thought we got on well . I did spoil her and did a lot for her but then I did not have her until I was nearly 40 and was told I could not have birth children , so she was /is just so precious

But when I was so suddenly airlifted to hospital after the accident and then laid up and unable to walk for so long in hospital and then at home her attitude just changed overnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I have to guess she felt I was not being a mother anymore - as I was so unwell I could not even crawl to the loo and my husband was at sea so she had to fend for herself for several months -

and I have to guess she was angry about this and has never really got over it or forgiven me

As for counseling I suggested this a couple of years back - after the accident - when she began to seem to have real issues about me - in fact also because of her similar attitude towards some teachers at school the school suggested it too and the school offered her counselling and they also tried to get her to take it up .

But she has always refused, saying that she has no problem, that I - and those teachers were/are the problem, that it is not her concern as we are the problem - so will not even consider it

I have to feel lucky that apart from the way she regards me she is actually great in her behaviour in general.

She is considered by many on the outside who do not know/or see how she feels about me or how she treats me, to be a  'model young person' in all other aspects of her life i.e hard working as she had two jobs and works hard at her jobs and her employers respect her very much, and works hard at her studies, she finishes a NVQ4 this year and is starting a degree course soon in September, has no discernible relationship or sexual problems apart from with me ..........has never taken any substances , does not even smoke or drink and seems so 'together' other than her attitude towards me.

Maybe it is that she puts all her negativity into dislike of me and the occasionally other stronger authoritarian figures in her life and this means that she is not acting out in other ways - so maybe this has to be the way it is until she sorts herself out about this in years to come , or maybe she will never change how she feels. I do hope it changed some day as it truly breaks my heart every single day
[/b]

But in the meantime I can not help mentioning it here now and then because it hurts me just so much when she treats me like this and yet is such a liked and respected young women by most who she meets but is so nasty to me she makes me so sad almost every time I even try to have a conversation with her.

it does hurt  - but I have tried - and suggested counselling but that suggestion makes her even more angry with me, yet I have and still have counselling to try to cope with the situation, but my having counselling only helps me it does not change how she feels about me - and there does not seem to be anything I can do about it.

I think when I had the accident , although I could not help it -  in her mind I let her down in a way she can not come to terms with or talk about and now the HIV is the last straw .....sorry if I off load about it so much as I feel just powerless to change it , I love her so much, but there is nothing I can do as or the last few years I have tried everything my end - but nothing works.

Minismum
- sorry for misunderstanding , I assumed  - wrongly sorry -  that everyone here was HIV +?

 and that your current breathing problems were due to your own HIV. I also assumed that Mini had it because one of her parents did?  her mum?  Please excuse me as I am very new to this and did not know that a child who was not yet sexually active could get HIV without their mum being when they were born, if they did not have a c section or via breat feeding - as blood products are now tested almost everywhere?
As I am very new HIV from the inside so I only know what I have read so far so I am probaby stil quite ignorant about so many aspects of HIV.

I guess I should not be asking - but being me I will - how did Mini get HIV?

If you do not want to answer just do not but I can not help wanting to know.

Not out of any  vicarious curiosity but because I am trying to learn as much as I can about this as I am trying to start a HIV network for women here, and some may well not be HIV but with HIV partners or their children may be HIV + - so just interested to know so I do not get it wrong again in the future. You can of course ignore this question or PM me.

tendai -  Yes my daughter is now a very beautiful 18 year old woman, and despite how she feel about me I am still very, very proud of her

Sorry about the continuing difficulties in your country. I have to admit from over here I can not understand why no one is rebelling big time - as you say it is ridiculous that 'one crazy selfish senile geriatric who refuses to let the country recover all because he's afraid to be sent to jail when he's out of power' can hold a whole country to ransom?

but that is what seems to be happening from me looking at it from over here in the UK - but I can not possibly understand the whole situation. But I do hope something changes there soon for you all.

Sorry also about your friend testing poz for HIV. I hope her work goes well and will be the right thing for her to do

Better get on - I was supposed to be working today doing a web site - but got distracted, prefer to be on here today

Love Veritee


« Last Edit: May 28, 2008, 10:58:31 AM by Veritee »
I have a blog here, please do not judge me on what I say here- I need to offload and this is where I do it: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #14 on: May 28, 2008, 01:50:08 PM »
I wonder what the exchange rate is between 1 US dollar and what ever currency they use in Tendai's country.

Offline Veritee

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #15 on: May 28, 2008, 03:22:51 PM »
I do not know but my Zimbabwean friend intends to visit Zimbabwe in November and is taking US dollars and UK sterling as both buy you things - she says - that Zimbabwean money does not
I have a blog here, please do not judge me on what I say here- I need to offload and this is where I do it: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #16 on: May 28, 2008, 03:31:59 PM »
For you Betty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaOyUdiv7rU


BTW Veritee your daughter is beautiful.

Offline Veritee

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #17 on: May 28, 2008, 03:40:41 PM »
Thanks - she is
I guess we will be Ok in the end as I love her so much
I have a blog here, please do not judge me on what I say here- I need to offload and this is where I do it: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #18 on: May 28, 2008, 07:23:36 PM »
Veritee, Mini's birth mother had HIV and passed it to Mini.  She refused to take any meds for it during pregnancy.    As for your daughter, no you can't change her.  Honestly, you can't change anyone but yourself.  I've found that out the hard way.  But, if you're happy with yourself, then that's what really counts.  I know that doesn't stop the hurt, but at the end of the day, if you're alright with yourself, that's an accomplishment.

I'll post more tomorrow ladies.  Have a good evening.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #19 on: May 29, 2008, 12:26:26 AM »
Good evening! Well another day has gone by which has brought me closer to the end of the year... :)
The last day for the students is June 12th. My last day is the 13th. We have to pack up the rooms and everything. I plan on teaching summer school so I will have about a week off before I start that. I am not even sure if it is a definite thing. It is supposed to be for Kindergarten... :-\ I don't know how that will go. I am so used to the 5th graders.

Snow: I did not get my air conditioner fixed yet. It really cooled down so it is not a pressing problem. Of course I need to get fixed before the weather turns around again

Today we had our "Growth and Development" movie. Every year we watch a movie with the 5th grade about puberty. The boys are in one room and the girls are in the other. I have been with both the boys and the girls and I feel much more comfortable with the girls because, quite simply, I am girl and have all the parts. This year we have a new teacher who is totally incompetent and HATES this grade. She wants to be a principal and is using this as a stepping stone. I can't stand her and most people steer clear of her, but that is a whole other story that has been going on all year...I'll spare you the whole background. Anyways, she freaked out when she heard she would have to be with the boys. OK...she is married and has 2 sons...hello? I said I would stay with her. Of course I did the whole thing. During the "question" portion she did not say one word. Ridiculous! They are 10 and 11 year olds. The only thing they want you to do is say "penis". Of course they get silly and sometimes ask crazy questions, but they are just curious about it. After the movie and Q&A we go outside for P.E.-One of the boys in my class is walking with me and tells me, "I can make it stand straight out. I don't know how but I can make it do it." I say to him, "What do you make stand out?" He then points to his crotch and says, "This!" Uh yeah...that was an over share...LOL! I wanted to laugh but I just said Oh...give him a couple years and he'll know EXACTLY how he makes it "stand straight out" If only that innocence could last longer.... :)

Offline Veritee

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #20 on: May 29, 2008, 04:03:53 AM »
I had to laugh at your "Growth and Development" movie story vivyt. Are you a teacher?
I am a qualified teacher but have not taught for some years, but I remember things like this with the younger ones....in fact more the boys than the girls as somehow the boys just seem to know less than the girls - well the ones I taught anyway

yes isn't it funny and also cute when they are so innocent - and the boys just wanting to hear the words, , and then cracking up ( breaking out into uncontrollable giggles) and the boys also always seemed to be more obsessed with bottoms at that age and what comes out of them than the sexual bits - the boys I taught at that age anyway  - I found that funny also.

But for most of my working life I was a youth worker with much older children.....

And my specialisation was 'sexual and reproductive health'!! And I was actually amazed at the ignorance of their bodies of even theses older young people and again especially the boys/young men - what do their parents tell them? They think they no but they know just so little of what they should know.

But that teacher - who would not go in with the boys alone - oh dear!! It seems she needs some lessons too, or to look at her own attitudes and feelings. Oh well, not everyone is comfortable with sex and especially passing it on to young ones

But I had to laugh!! It reminded me of my years educating in this area - so funny sometimes and yes so innocent - winch they could remain like that, but on the other hand that would be ignorance and would not be good

Veritee
« Last Edit: May 29, 2008, 04:05:25 AM by Veritee »
I have a blog here, please do not judge me on what I say here- I need to offload and this is where I do it: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Offline Veritee

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #21 on: May 29, 2008, 04:07:43 AM »
Thanks Betty

My daughter did come round and actually say sorry last night - she never usually does ever...........

But  I am not sure how much this was genuine as my husband talked to her about not being 'rude' to me but mostly he had to take the car away form her she borrows but she mostly uses and we pay for..............

Because a few days ago she hit while parking it a brand new Alpha Romeo and now we are looking at huge insurance bills for its repair as our insurance will not cover the repair of a car that expensive and that new...................... and also the insurance company do not know that it is my daughter that mainly uses the car, because she only passed her driving test 6 months ago and in the UK if you insure a car in the name of a young person who has not had a licence for long the insurance is usually over £1500 a year - it can be up to £4000 if the young person has had knocks!!

So like many parents here (UK)  we put the car in our name, made her a 'named driver' and let her borrow it as then the insurance bill is only about £400 - but to do this they must only be using it a small amount of the time as if they use it as if its their car that invalidates your insurance and then the insurance company will not pay ANY of the cost of any knock with another car. And she has had 1 small knock before this one.

And my daughter has been using the car more and more until really now she rarely brings it back .........so my husband is worried that if they find out she has been using it as her car when she hit the Alpha Romeo - the insurance will not pay out at all and it is going  to be thousands out of our own pocket. She did not do that much damage and on an older less expensive car it would not be so much, but the repair bill on a new car costing over £60, 000 will be huge ,just for a small knock to the side and the bumper!!

So he felt he had to stop her taking the car and she knows that I am more likely to cave in on this if she finds she can not get to work etc - she uses the car mainly to get to work and as we live in a very rural place without the car she often can not work as her two jobs are 14 miles apart in places there is no public transport between.

So I felt so much better that for once she had apologised to me for the way she has been towards me again - as she usually does not

But now worried she only apologised because she needs the car and knows if I feel sorry for her if she can not get to work then I can persuade my husband to let her drive it again!!


Very difficult  - because if she can not get to work, she will not have the money to pay for the room she has near her main work, and we are tied into paying it if she can not  as she is too young to have a contract on a rental  - here they do not usually let you have a rental in your own name until you are 21 - so we guaranteed her flat, so if she does not work because she has no car we end up paying her rent.
 
And my husbands wages stop altogether next month as he has been retorted due to ill health, HIV/AIDs  so I just do not know how we are going to pay for the damage to this car she hit or her rent



I have a blog here, please do not judge me on what I say here- I need to offload and this is where I do it: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Offline Veritee

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #22 on: May 29, 2008, 04:50:09 AM »
I will tell you the full story - have not before as it is very complicated

I am sure no one is interested - and why should you be ? but I need to tell it

I promise once I have done this I will not go on about the situation anymore - except for little things when it gets too much


My daughter can always live with us, she has her own bedroom and her own sitting room, we are so lucky to have a have a large farmhouse, that we bought very cheaply derllict and spend nealry 20 years renovating by hand just the two of us ( I learned lots about building, plastering etc )  with now only the two living in it - we did have a foster child in the past - and her own boy child and her  later lived with us too - but she has long  grown up and gone - lives in Sweden!!

My birth daughter is always welcome and my husband will drive her to work if she is living here -- but she has been so angry with me and threatining  to run away from me now for some years and eventually did - ever since the accident that led to my disability really - she was about 13- 14 when she first started theatening  this - it has been only  since I became disabled, before this I felt we got on really well - I could have been wrong but this is how it seemed to me!!

so we now pay rent on accommodation for her to stop her living on the streets

When she finally ran away properly did not at first offer to pay rent for her to live away,  as we felt we just could not afford it and told her she would have to stay at home - she said she would 'rather live on the streets than live with me full time'

and I called her bluff and said she HAD to come back and live with me .....My husband was not at home then as he was at sea full time to try and earn enough money to pay for it all, so it would have just been me and her.

But she did not - she was only just 16- 17 then went and lived on the streets, and slept on friends and strangers floors etc  I did not know wher she was for most of that  time and it was total hell............ so eventually we had to start paying for a room where she could go when she was angry with me!!

But not before she ended up in a hostel for homeless young women which I will tell you about below.



With my daughter I feel I can not win - I know if she behaves like this towards me we should not give her money for a room or the car .....but if we do not pay for the car she can not work - and her work is her life she loves it but it also then means she can not help us pay her rent on her room and if she can not pay her rent , either we have to pay it all or she will live rough, and she is still only 19 - her 19th birthday is this week  -

She has done it before she is very stubborn - and very angry with me at a very deep level, so will not give in and just live at home all the time which is what she should do given the situation.

For me it is a catch 22

I just can not see her living rough again as she really is very small and vulnerable, only 4ft 11 tall and very small and innocent looking and while she is stroppy with me she is NOT with anyone else and NOT  someone  who can defend herself and look after herself in the world you can find yourself even in Cornwall if you have no home you will go to, life is very rough even on the streets even in a rural place like this

....So last time at just 17  - she ended being housed her own protection by social/youth workers and was put in a hostel for homeless young women

Ironically it is the only hostel like this for in this county at all and one of the reasons it exists at all is I helped to found it when I was a youth worker for the local authority in 1996-1998!! I was one of the main female youth workers who heped make this hostel possible!! My daughter was about 8 to 10  when I helped found this hostel and our difficulties had not begun then so I never thought my own daughter would ever go in it


As then I was concerned as a youth worker with girls and young women, that there was no where vulnerable young women could go if they could not go home due to abuse or that the home just was not OK

- so it shamed me beyond belief that my own daughter was then in that hostel as while the staff did not know me personally as they were new since when I left youth work in this area , I feel they must have known of me and my reputation for all the good work I had done and that I helped to found that hostel!!!

All the girls and young women in there at the time were mostly younger than her and all had criminal records  for drugs - speed mostly -  assault, and one for stabbing someone, two were sciztaphenic/psychotic and often got violent  - - others got violent ior loud and abusive too.

 and my daughter was the only one going to college regularly and with a job and the other girls often kept her up with comeing in late drunk or druged or taken back to the hostel  by the police etc - it was just not a place where someone trying to go through college and working should be

My daughter does not take drugs, she does not have a mental health problem - well yes an emotional problem with me - but not psychosis anyway, and is actually very law abiding ( this is not just my belief it is true she just is not interested in drugs and scared stiff to ever break the law does not drink and is not ever violent and never loud - she is the opposite of loud ) -

but the workers could/would not believe that as she is such a nice young women, she would not go home simply because she was angry with me??

I do not think she ever actually said this - that I abused her, I hope she did not, I am told she did not, thankfully I do not think she has never been that horrible about me  - but I think  hostel workers assumed that I was abusing her in some way for her to be so insistent that she would NEVER go back and live in her own bedroom in her own nice home with me!!!
It was so awlful when she was in that hostel - becasue I was/could be a potential abuser I was not even allowed to step into that hostel to see her.

Once when we had a family funeral to go to, a relative of ours who we were both fond of 92 died, and the funeral was in the same town as the hostel, so I went to pick her up, she was not quite ready and it was raining very hard so I was not allowed even in the hall of the hostel to wait for her so I had to wait outside in the rain  - so my black funeral clothes got wet and soggy and I had to sit through the funeral wet - a terribel day for me !!!

- and she insisted to the hostel workers that she would go back on the streets if they asked her to leave the hostel or did not find her somewhere else - she did not say that this was the case - that I abused her -

 but just clammed up and said nothing except she would never live at home if I was there and that she would live on the streets!! so that they would not make her leave the hostel, so their assumption had to be that it had to be something like this!! That I was truly  abusive to my daughter!!!

However as there was no provable abuse - and believe me it would never be provable as it has NEVER happened, and she was coming up to 18 and too old to be considered that vulnerable, so she had to leave the hostel, they found her a room in a student house only 3 miles from us

But of course she is at college in the day and while she has always worked she can not work enough just at evenings and week ends even in her two jobs to pay her rent all the time on a room of her own - at 18 she just does not earn enough per hour to do this -

So we have always had to guarantee her accommodation rent, and we have paid most of it, plus paid for her car and her petrol and insurance and give her money, food etc.

She does live at home some of the week too - but not to see me - now Barry can not work and is not at sea, she comes home to be with him about 3 days a week but still refuses to live here full time, becaus eof how she feels abotu me. She treats me like I am the lodger and that I do not belong here in my own home.

And if I get upset and say anything she goes back to her room we rent for her - and Barry has now insisted that she HAS to come back here full time now he is home but she will not while I live here - as she says it is impossible, she could never bare to live with me and so the fear is if we do not keep paying for a room she will end up on the streets again. And I am her birth mother and love her, not just some woman her dad married

I know that like the hostel workers anyone reading this may feel there is something I am not saying and I am somehow horrendous to live with or a nightmare

Thre are always two sides to any story

but I assure you I am not a terrible person to get on with - I get on really well with most of my friends my family, my husband, I have a woman my age who has become a friend that practically lives with us as she has a trailer/caravan  in our grounds and all will say I am fine - someone they both like and respect.

But that I get very upset only when it concerns my daughter and how she feels about me

Yes I do lose it with my daughter when she treats me as she does - and I have bene over the top at times - but I think anyone would under these cuircumstanses lose it soemtimes, and only verbally and then only when she has kept it up for days and I have really has enough and just feel so hurt I can not stand it anymore

Well that’s the whole story

You might say what is my husband doing? - well he really is a lovely and very placid man but he does try .

He used to be able to do nothing at all to help as he was working away at sea all the time. And when he was home for shorter periods my daughter would be on her best behavour as she did not want to upset him as she knew he was only home for a few weeks

But now he is home due to HIV, he is as stern with her as he can be ( he finds it hard to be stern or angry he is just not built like this but he does try for my sake) and says all the time it is not acceptable to treat you mum like this and why do you, what is it all about??

 ..... but she just clams up, she will not tell anyone truly why it is like this for her - why she feels like this about me -  not even him and if he presses her she just walks out on him too and goes back to her room we pay for  .....  and his fear is, like mine , that if we do not pay for her room she will at 19 end up on the streets and she is too old now to go back to the hostel.

So I ended up with me - a respected ex youth worker form the same area - with a daughter in a hostel I helped to found, and while we had the money we felt we had no choice but to pay for her to have a room elsewhere -

it takes the pressure off of me too if nothing else as at least I know if she gets angry with me and walks out again she is safe !!
So I guess we woud have got by by just paying for her accomodation and living costs until she left college and could earn enough to keep herself.

But now the time is coming due to our HIV - Barry has lost his job, I do not earn that much - that we will not be able to pay for her to have a room - but she feels no better about me and will not live here

For me it is a terrible situation

Not just because my lovely daughter seems to truly despise me and can not stand to be in the same house as me for more than a day or so at a time.. and I just can not find out why - what she feels I have done or what has caused this beyond my becoming disabled

..............but also because if this situation does not resolve soon we are going to have to stop helping her to live away from home financially and I am so scared for her if we can not pay for her room as she starts a degree course in September and in the UK there are no grants  anymore for kids to have an education beyond 16 -17 - there used to be but now only the richer can afford to put their kids through a degree course as the grants even for poorer kids were mostly abolished a few years ago - there are small grants that she is applying for but they will not keep her for 3 years - so parents are expected to pay and look after children until they leave college at 21-22.

And we could just about do this if she would live at home and travel into college - as her degree course is within travelling distance

There is a scheme called a student loan - and she is trying to get this but if you get this you end up at 22 owing the government at least 30,000 that you have to pay back!!!!!!!!!!!!! As it has to pay for your tuition fees your living costs your, accommodation for 3 years!! So you end up with escalating debt - due to interest - for the rest of your life unless you have a really well paid job and pay it off quickly


with HIV- and my husband having had AIDs -  we do not know how long we will be around for her or be able to earn enough to help her  ( I know that we could live for years with the HIV meds and hope we do but we are already in our 50s and Barry is still not at all well ) and we do not want her to have debts like that so young in life

I feel totally trapped by the situation

Before we knew we had HIV I guess the plan was my husband would just continue to work away from us as a seaman long enough to put my daughter through college and pay for her accommodation etc in the meantime

Now this is just not possible – he is not well enough to work, I do a bit of web design and let out a trailer/caravan and a holiday apartment but this does not get enough to keep even us and certainly not my daughter living away for home too.


I do not expect or want anyone to spend any time thinking of answers – I know only we can solve this and we will get though :)
But I just felt I wanted to tell you the whole story rather than just telling you bits
So that you understand what the full position is.


I know compared too many of your situations it is nothing - just maybe a spoilt kid who will not live at home!!  i.e. Mimi with HIV I can not imagine what this is like as my daughter does not have this and others have more than one child I only have one –, and others on here have many more difficulties than us .

But I just wanted to tell you to avoid having to explain it in bits all the time
« Last Edit: May 29, 2008, 05:09:52 AM by Veritee »
I have a blog here, please do not judge me on what I say here- I need to offload and this is where I do it: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Offline Veritee

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #23 on: May 29, 2008, 06:31:14 AM »
ignore me

it is all so very new to me - this HIV - combined with other ongoing life situations

sorry - just got no where else to tell
I have a blog here, please do not judge me on what I say here- I need to offload and this is where I do it: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Offline anniebc

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #24 on: May 29, 2008, 06:59:26 AM »
Quote
I know compared too many of your situations it is nothing

Veritee

Of course other people have problems but that doesn't make your problems any less important...just wanted you to know that.

You need look after you, your health is important.

Sending you big hugs from NZ.

Love
Jan :-*

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Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #25 on: May 29, 2008, 08:03:11 AM »
Morning ladies,

Viv, I loved that story about the boy who said he could make it "stand out."  That's hilarious. 

Veritee, sounds like you've had quite the time with your daughter.  Like Jan said, you need to take care of you.  Your daughter is young enough to take care of herself. 

Yesterday when I was at the ASO, a doctor called about one of the clients.  He was my first HIV doctor (he didn't know it was me).  I haven't seen or talked to him in years.  So, anyway, when he was done talking about the client, I said "Dr. Clausen, you don't know who you're talking to, do you?"  He said, "No."  I told him and he yelled "No shit!"  So, we talked for about 20 minutes.  He lost a finger last year due to some flesh-eating disease.  I'm not sure if he caught that from one of his patients here, or if he caught it when he went to India, which he does once a year to treat people there.  Anyway, it was good to talk to him. I'm sure he probably thought I was dead. 

Today I go see the orthopaedist.  I'm trying to think of the best thing to say to him.  I want to say "look, you gotta do something, I'm too young for a wheelchair full-time."  We'll see.  I guess I feel fortunate that it's been so many years my knees have been f*** up and I can still walk on them.  I'm not resigning myself to a wheelchair, don't get me wrong.  One of the clients at the ASO has a new Jazzy, and it looks like the Cadillac of wheelchairs.  He said it cost $6300.  And it zips around pretty fast.  Now that would be something, if I ever have to walk long distances again. 

Nothing else going on today.  I'm either cleaning today or tomorrow.  Oh, I e-mailed my doctor yesterday about a prescription for Welbutrin to stop smoking, and he sent one to my pharmacy.  It will probably take about a week to get here.  I would go back to patches, but my prescription plan doesn't cover them ever since Chantix came out.  And I won't take that anymore.  It gave me horrid dreams and anxiety attacks.  Yesterday I didn't smoke a cigarette all day because I have some left-over patches.  Of course, it's only one day so I'm not getting real excited yet.  Have a good one ladies.  I'll be back later probably.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline wishful

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #26 on: May 29, 2008, 10:51:01 AM »
Hey everyone..

Betty good luck..that has to suck.. ???..hopefully the doc can find a solution for you..

i havent read everyones posts yet..but i just wanted to pop in n say hey...im doing ok..i could complain but i wont...

Netta: youre really pretty...Oh yeah and so is veritee's daughter..
Live life to the fullest...

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #27 on: May 29, 2008, 11:47:06 AM »
wendy today if you have $1US u can get $500million Zimbabwe dollars. not that it would buy u much....maybe a loaf of bread for about $400mill, the $100mill left over might get u a freezit or a packet of popped maize/corn

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #28 on: May 29, 2008, 01:56:19 PM »
Afternoon ladies,

Back from the orthopaedist.  He told me both knees have avascular necrosis and that there's no cartilage left in either knee, bone-on-bone.  He said he would in no way do knee replacements on me.  I told him he might want to talk to my doctor so my doctor could put his mind at ease; to which he replied "well, he may well want to put my mind at ease, but the evidence out of the "academy" shows that people with advanced HIV disease who get knee replacements end up with disasterous infections that more often than not result in amputations." (he told me the same thing a few years ago, so it could well be the evidence has changed and he just doesn't know or care).  I asked him about a less invasive surgery-nope.  Physical therapy-nope.  I said "so there's absolutely nothing that can be done?"  He shook his head no and smiled.  I wanted to kick him in the balls at that point and tell him that maybe if I was a Notre Dame student he would try something (that's who they mainly take care of at that place).  He treated me like I was sucking time out of him and I was some kind of pariah.  So, I e-mailed my doctor to see if there's some other ortho who is willing to work with HIV+ people.  I'm highly aggravated to say the least.  Of course, I wanted to rush right to the tobacco store and buy some cigarettes when I left, but I didn't.  I came home and finished cleaning my apartment. 

I made an appointment with the diabetes educator here.  I need to lose about 20 lbs, so I figured she would be the best person to talk to about how to do it.  Usually when I take care of things other than just seeing my doctor for the usual, I do it in a swoop.  Now, all I need to do is to make an appointment with my eye doctor.  I broke my glasses at the 1st convention I went to this year and it does say on the back of my license I wear them.  I have diabetic retinopathy in one eye and a cataract in the other.  Nothing major-I can see fine.  The only thing I have trouble with is wording at a distance.  But, I can read and everything without the glasses. 

Other than that, nothing else going on.  I hate being treated like a leper by a doctor.  I thought those days here in the states were over years ago. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Veritee

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #29 on: May 29, 2008, 02:34:18 PM »
thanks so much Jan from NZ

I am so sorry Betty about your unhelpful orthopaedist

I feel a bit like this about my HIV consultant
If she were a man I would want to kick her balls and felt like it anyway...........

but my orthopaedic surgeon is great - so maybe another opinion, like you are trying to get will give you a different answer?

As I wrote to my orthopedic surgeon - well both of them , I have two, one for my ankle another for my knees - when I found I was HIV and they did not seem to think it would make any different to any future surgery...........
As I said I expect to have knee replacements one day when it becomes totally necessary which for me is not yet.

I know I have not known about HIV for very long and may only have had it 7 to 10 years but they did not seem to think this could not be done in the future.

So I am hoping for you it is just because you have a ortho surgeon that is just unsympathetic to people with HIV and that things have moved on since you last looked into it

I am just so sorry you had to go to this ignorant doctor
better luck with another one

Love veritee

« Last Edit: May 29, 2008, 04:04:40 PM by Veritee »
I have a blog here, please do not judge me on what I say here- I need to offload and this is where I do it: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #30 on: May 29, 2008, 04:50:31 PM »
Whew!  Ok, I'm all caught up.  If I miss anyone, my deepest apologies - my memory isn't what it used to be.

Veritee: Betty is exactly correct in her explaination of me and Mini.  There are a few HIV- people on the site, but they are directly "linked" to a pozzie.  To my knowledge, I'm the only neggie parent of a Jr. pozzie.  These women opened their arms and hearts to me and, have generally, put up with me ;)  I literally landed at AidsMeds front door by total accident last October with tons of questions and worries.  I wasn't sure how i'd be "taken" or "accepted", but the folks here have been WONDERFUL and I can never show my gratitude sufficiently.  OK, enough of that.

Betty: Thanks for the explaination to Veritee.  I'm sorry your orthopedist offered you a grand total of NOTHING in way of help or hope.  Mini's ortho was the same way.  Was your doc's name Dr. E. Jones? ;)  I do worry about you getting around and up and down your apartment steps.  Seems like someone could do something to help move you to downstairs or offer some suggestions for modifications to help you out. 

Snow: I'm feeling your pain at the pump.  We live in the middle of no where and our SUV guzzles gas like it's kool-aide.  We're trying to save every ounce of money we can in every way we can.  I saw a book the other day offering "creative" ways to save money.  But, to find out, you had to fork out $15.99.  I fingered through it and one of the ways was to borrow books from the library instead of buying them.  I just stood there and laughed ;D

I forget who asked, but Hubby and I are going to Hershey, PA.  We drop the kids off a week from Sunday and will pick them up on the next Friday night.  We found a beautiful cabin with a porch swing and deck that we're staying in.  It's only 2 1/2 miles from the park and runs a free shuttle service.  We've had reservations since February.  Next Thursday, June 5th, is our 15th wedding anniversary.  Not bad for a gal who SWORE she'd never get married.  On June 7th, our #4 will be 6 and on the 18th, our #1 will be 11!  I'm too young to have an 11yr old. 

#1 is doing better and back to getting on everyone's nerves.  In other words, he behaving like a typical big brother.  I got my kitchen cabinets and pantry all sorted out and reorganized.  It took all stinking day and you'd never know that i did anything unless you knew the inside of my cabinets.  I threw 4 garbage bags of "junk" out, too. 

Both boys have ball games tonight.  It's wee-man's last t-ball game. (YEAH!)  Speaking of which, we need to leave in 40 minutes and we haven't had supper.  *sigh* Another round of very quick moochies.

Lots of lovin'1
Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
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"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #31 on: May 29, 2008, 10:14:51 PM »
wendy today if you have $1US u can get $500million Zimbabwe dollars. not that it would buy u much....maybe a loaf of bread for about $400mill, the $100mill left over might get u a freezit or a packet of popped maize/corn

Thank you tendai. If I where better at math I could tell you how much a loaf here would cost. If I got the cheapest loaf of store brand bread I here I guess it would cost roughly 700 million.

I really stink at math. LOL

Offline netta

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #32 on: May 29, 2008, 10:55:06 PM »
Hi lovely ladies! I missed u all. Veritie ur pics are beautiful!!!! as ur daughter!!!
BETTY  sorry about your pain and ur doc visit but guess what???I have been in so much pain this week with my KNEES AND LEGS!! is something going around???lol I will be going to see my reumatoid arthritis doc real soon, this might be whats wrong, I have not been in about 2 years!!!ok now the GOOD news! MY labs are great!!, my virus is undetctable again but MY T_cells have shot way up to  690 !!!!!! :D they haave NEVER been that high!! I have had from 60 to 250 tcells so this is a miricle!!!.
Thanks ladies for the comment on my pics, I hope all is well. Tired now will check in tomorrow. luv to all
"to thine own self be true"

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #33 on: May 29, 2008, 11:46:08 PM »
Hi! Anotherr day...too tired to really type anything long. I am hoping to get report cards finished this weekend...my last set this year... ;D I am really going to work this weekend, yeah right! LOL! Talk to you all soon!

Oh, Betty-I would definitely try for a second opinion. I am sure there is another way.

Offline Veritee

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #34 on: May 30, 2008, 04:09:12 AM »
Thank you all so much for the comments

 I take photos as a hobby and have an HND - sort of like a lesser degree for those of you not in the UK - in Multimedia Design - I taught it for a while -  which included digital imaging so all my photos have long been digital  and I love taking the.
 Fortunately I live in a very beautiful area so I have things I can take - if i did not it would be difficult as I rarely travel. I suppose if I lived in a town I would concentrate on taking photos of people and street culture - but here I rarely see many people unless I go into town and there is no street culture.

re my daughter - yes I think she is lovely and am so proud of her despite how she feels about me.

We are both of gypsy origin, both Barry and I, although both our families stopped travelling when we were  in our teens. But Barry really has the gypsy colouring and looks and has passed it on to his daughter.

Unfortunately although I guess of the same genetic pool I did not inherit those looks - so I am blue eyed, red faced  and mousy

Hair naturally the colour of my daughters - and his when he had any - and her skin tone and very dark eyes seems very unusual here amongst the mostly Cornish people we live among ( which is strange as Cornish people are supposed to have dark hair too but mostly they do not and often have a very different skin tone)  so she really stands out here, as well as being beautiful her colouring is unusual here.

Many of her friends her age use hair dye to try to get the same colour as their hair is mostly light brown to mousy and bleaching it blond or blond streaks is not fashionable any more like it used to be, so now they want dark rich brown or black - but Caja's is naturally very dark and rich. Now she is older it is much darker and richer too. She can thank her dad for her looks, not me!!

Thanks Mum
I am very new to this but I am so glad theses lovely ladies welcomed you here, they are so helpful and welcoming.
I hope Mini is well?

I hope you have a lovely break without the children in Hershey, PA and it sounds nice although I have no idea where it is!!
I said I would never marry too, and now been married 21 years!!!

We also have 'pain at the pump' but not obviously as much as the US. But because I live on a smallholding with no proper road to it I run an old four wheel drive Jeep, as any other type of car get wrecked going up and down my track -  which of course uses just too much fuel. But I am lucky in that it runs on  LPG gas and not petrol, as we converted it many years ago, and Liquid Petroleum Gas is still half the price of petrol here, so it is not as bad as it could be

Yes it does seem like this is a week for knees!!
i do hope everyone finds a solution for their knees soon. Here is is spring and my knees, pain and mobility always improves so much in the summer months so I am looking forward to this - but I do nto know what season it is for all of you where you are - sorry I am a bit ignored as I have not travelled much. But I hope for those with arthritic and damaged knees you get soem dry warm days as this really seems to help

Great about your lab results Netta - do you feel better or does it not make much difference as long as you are over the 250 CD4 mark?
Well again I am writing in the morning when I guess most of you are now in bed

Sweet dreams all !!
I have a blog here, please do not judge me on what I say here- I need to offload and this is where I do it: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #35 on: May 30, 2008, 04:49:35 AM »
hi ladies,

I am so late for work, I know I dont have fixed hours but i do feel guilt when its past 10.00 and am only having breakfast - guess i should enjoy it while it lasts.

anyway, Betty, that royally sucks about that wanker doctor, sorry to hear that, and i hope you find another doctor soon, they cant all be like him, what a bastard. its amazing you didnt smoke, shows how strong you are. a couple weeks ago i had a fight with the bf and i had one, but it was so nasty, i havent had one since. i associate cigs with emotional pain and stress rather than a good time now... too bad i couldnt make this association all those many years of smoking.

Tendai, I am sorry about your friend. I hope you have a good weekend, as much as possible. I wrote you the rest in an email last night.

Veritee your daughters really really pretty. I dont know what to tell you about it as i am not a parents, but i was a bad daughter too... now i adore my mum and its like a punishment for me living so far away from her, and my brother is away too. things could change, i dont think my mum ever imagined that i could take such a turn. looking back, b/c my mum also had post partum depression, she gave me to my grandparents, and that was not a good place for me to be, and my dad was also away most of the time, in fact i can barely remember him from my childhood, i always had the feeling that my parents were the happy young couple and that we the children were intruding (and also was seperated from my brother b/c they kept him). it was as though my dad was the most important memeber of the family, we had to do everything not to disturb him cos he was working so hard. anyway i am rambling, but the clue to your daughters resentment could be buried so deep that she herself doesnt know what it is. things were always very explosive btw me & my mum, there were many periods that i didnt want to speak to her, and i also left home as a teen and got in a lot of trouble, unlike your daughter. it made me miserable too b/c i didnt know why i resented her so much; we can still spiral into a fight but very rarely b/c i keep checks on my irrational behavior. so my suggestion to you is only work on yourself, how you react, so often we are slaves to our feelings. i have learned to ignore my feelings - yes! life is not Oprah, its not an emotional rollercoaster, I can respect my feelings but I dont have to act on them, they are just undercurrents. when you will feel better, things will be more stable I beleive. dont forget that she is still growing, things could be so different in the future. i dont think my parents even thought i would be alive let alone a normative person - well, as normative as i became anyway - and your daughter is way more normal than i ever was then... and also have a sitdown with her maybe with or only by Barry to talk just reasonably about the money thing, b/c what's the point of having 2 jobs if you cant pay anyhting, and she cant milk you both dry - you need that money too... those are my thoughts might not all be relevant but put them down anyway.

Viv, so your vacation is a week? Hope summer school will be easy. Is it at the school?

Netta, congrats on your #, that's great. Hope your pain gets better soon.

Hugs to everyone else - Wish, Cind, Mum (enjoy that cabin!), Win, Pink - just everyone...
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #36 on: May 30, 2008, 08:29:18 AM »
Queen, when are you going to come back and join us? hopefull soon? how are things looking with your friend and the ride? its this Mon isn't it? here's to a peaceful weekend...
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

tendai

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #37 on: May 30, 2008, 11:19:13 AM »
hie y'all

Netta - congrats with the numbers they're real good

Betty -  i hope u find a doctor who knows his stuff. knee replacement surgery here is so expensive  and theres only one doctor who does them and hes only into the country a few times a year, so all our patients who need knee replacements have to wait till he comes and cough up the foreign currency to pay for it.

Drag - my friends not doing so well.she went back to her husband and told him her result and he kicked her out of the house and she slept out in the guards cabin. im so furios at him. she's planning her revenge though. wants to go back and slice up his clothes every single one of them.

i just came  from shyguys office. he's realy quite nice i think.  i almost kissed him  :o

thank God its Friday! and my boss is away the whole of next week and so i'll just be coming half days, oh yeah, doing a happy dance :)

« Last Edit: May 30, 2008, 11:23:01 AM by tendai »

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #38 on: May 30, 2008, 06:39:28 PM »
Netta-  Great numbers!!!!

Betty- That is crazy, I wouldn't have blamed you if you kicked him in the balls, what an ass!  Did you hear anything back from your doc about a doctor with a clue?

Veritee- Your daughter is beautiful!


Ten- I hope things do work out with Shyguy, maybe you guys can spend more time together next week  ;)

Mum-If you ever shop at Walmart, just pick the book up there with all the money saving tips, you can read the whole thing by the time they check you out, maybe they are faster where you live?  Have you guys ever seen the crazy guy in the commericials for goverment grants?  I wonder if those are legit? Of course, you have to spend money to find out about that too.

Viv- The stand out story was hysterical!

Drag- What time did you end up getting to work?  :)

Wish- Whattsa matter?

I talked to SB's daughter the other day and the poor girl was hysterical!  She finally found out about her father and him being positive and infecting me.  He had left a whole bag of pills in her house and her friend looked them up on the computer and they were his HIV meds.  So she said something to his wife who told her everything.  I felt so bad for her because she was crying and so upset.  She also told me about him trying to touch her when she was in her early teens??  I am really beginning to think he is a snitch or something? He has over 40 charges of various things- rape, drugs, assault and battery, breaking and entering and yet he still gets out??  Hopefully, this time will be different.  I just know if it was me doing all this stuff my ass would probably be in jail forever?

Queen- I hope things are going Ok with you.  Any news on a ride yet?

Much love to everyone else   ;D :D ;) :) ;D :D ;) :)



Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #39 on: May 30, 2008, 06:44:57 PM »
Oops ......Win- I hope you had a nice B-day...I forgot my Gramma's is the same day....she turned 93. :o
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #40 on: May 30, 2008, 07:07:35 PM »
Thank you snow. Your so lucky to have a gramma. Mine have been dead since the 80's.

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #41 on: May 31, 2008, 02:57:50 AM »
Snow, happy birthday to your grandma, many more happy years.


SB sickens me, and he ain't the only one. There's an epidemic out there, and I am not talking about HIV.

Win, happy birthday to YOU (again).

Wishful, what's on your mind babe?

Betty, bit worried about you cos you post daily. How are you feeling? karma will bite that doc on the ass I am sure, he's gonna feel every bit as angry and helpless one day soon.

Tendai, glad Dr Greedy is taking a break and giving you one too. Watch out for SG though. Your poor poor friend, what a world we live in.

Cindy, helllooo? How's your roof? How's work? How's life?

Cristy, havent heard from you in a while too, hope all's ok and u're not working too hard.

Veritee, Viv, Netta, Mom, Queen,and all - have a great weekend.
I'm just going to enjoy the weather, its sunny. I'm going to work as well.

hugs to all you ladies
« Last Edit: May 31, 2008, 03:04:59 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #42 on: May 31, 2008, 07:28:45 AM »
Morning ladies,

I didn't post here yesterday.  I was a little busy.  So, I'll try to catch up now.

Mum, luckily I live on the ground floor in my apartment, so there's no steps. 

Netta, congratulations on your labs.  That's great news!

Viv, counting down.

Veritee, my daughter has dark skin, hair and eyes also.  She's 1/2 Hispanic though.

Tendai, that really sucks about your friend. 

Snow, I think SB is just pure evil.  I hope he gets locked up for a long time and away from everyone he could hurt.

Drag, what are you doing this weekend?

My doctor e-mailed me yesterday and told me that he spoke with the orthopaedist and he's (ortho) "investigating" possibilities.  So, we'll see about that.  I just let it go for right now pending what the ortho decides. 

I went to an NA meeting Thursday night and saw a friend there who I haven't seen in years.  We talked 1/2 the night.  It was great.  Today, my bff is taking me and another lady out for lunch.  Yesterday was the other lady's clean-time birthday.  Then, I'm going to help cook for a dinner tonight at an NA speak-a-thon.  Other than that, nothing else really going on.  It stormed yesterday and last night.  It's supposed to rain today.  I'm kind of tired and am thinking about laying back down.  You ladies have a good morning.  I'll probably be back later.  Our Queen should be back sometime today.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #43 on: May 31, 2008, 09:09:45 AM »
Betty, that is SO funny about your daughter.  Our biological (#5), who is half Honduran, has blond hair and green eyes.  I think Hubby's dominant genes were on vacation that night  ;D

I was up at 2am not able to breathe (again! >:()  I had to take Primatene and sit in my rocking chair for about an hour before I felt like I could lay back down.  I finally coughed up enough crap to be able to breathe.  The rain moved in last night, so I'm believing that it HAS to be connected.  Until this year, when the weather changed, I would get a sinus headache, take a couple of Advil, and life would be good again.  Now, instead of my head filling up it's my lungs.  Very weird. 

We were hoping to get #1 and #5's CHIPs cards in the mail yesterday.  Instead, we got the same stupid letter from DHHR saying that we had to prove citizenship, and send in copies of thier birth certificates.  Hubby went hysterical and called them back.  The secretary gave her "yeah, I remember you bringing it in and don't know what happened" speech and told Hubby that the worker would call us back.  We have a population of 900 people in our entire wee town, so it's not like this lady has a HUGE caseload.  Hubby is very slow to get angry.  He's the type of person you have to poke every once in a while just to make sure he's still got a pulse.  So, for him to get crazy with this lady, it gives you an understanding of how frustrating this process has been.  Especially since they've had CHIPs for a year, and then were asked to send in all this paperwork. 

Hope everyone is having a great day and a continued wonderful weekend.

Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #44 on: May 31, 2008, 05:15:21 PM »
Wow, be gone for a few days and there is major stuff to read. Though I know I will not remember everything. Well, first things first, my gay friend is going to drive me to Pittsburgh on Tuesday, I am paying for the gas which is what I had offered in the first place. We both have a bit of a tude with our ASO, his being that he took someone to Pittsburgh before and they hardly replaced the gas he used, I think they gave him a 10 dollar gas card so he wanted to see what my case manager was willing to do. She called the local bus company who offered to reimburse me should I be able to get a bus ticket and that wasn't possible. So she tried. I think I will take my digital camera and take some pics while I am there. My roomie is going with me since she is my emergency contact. I have to go and pick up my xrays and get another cd4/vl done on Monday.

While I was away, I really didn't do much, just playing games since my hearing aid batteries had died and I couldn't hear anything for 2 days. Yesterday, I did follow up calls to people who called me while I was deaf. I also did some research on my meds which I found out can cause liver problems so again I am back to blaming the meds. I am still taking one of them but stopped the Atripla again because of the frustrations going on in my life and felt the Atripla would only aggravated the situation. I plan on asking the specialist in Pittsburgh if it could be my meds doing this. So I am not sure how my latest labs will turn out since I am only taking the Ziagen. I figured taking one of them is better than taking nothing at all.

Betty, I feel you on your knees though they are worse than what I feel with my right leg and feet. My right foot was so sore yesterday I could barely walk on it and rubbing doesn't seem to help. I plan on contacting my clinic nurse and letting her know on Monday. I hope there is something they can do for you.

Veritee--Thanks for the support about my blogs. I have lost one person who I considered a friend because he will no longer read my blog due to the negative comments of others. He says I am putting too much of my life out there and I agree I am but how do you get to know the person whose blog you're reading if you don't? Though I admit, I think I put more of my personal life out there than the other bloggers but then we all blog about different things. Your daughter is very pretty too.

Tendai---Ooooh, you making moves on ShyGuy...lol..Remember, lead us not into temptation, gf.. :D

Mum-- Hope your baby is doing better, I forgot what number he was..lol..Never a dull moment for you is there?

Keeping-- I bet you are still glowing, it shows in your post.

Wishful---Now where the hell have you been? You sound like you need to vent, what is going on? I hope it is not your daughter again.

At the moment, that is all I can remember from what I read. I like the title too, Betty. Not sure what I am going to do now. I cleaned my room earlier and now feel really lazy. I'll check back later. Also, thank you all for your support about leaving, it really means a lot to me.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #45 on: June 01, 2008, 08:14:28 AM »
Queen my love, may I be the first to welcome you back.  I'm so very glad that you found a ride to your appointment on Tuesday and that you'll have the support of friends around you when you speak to the doctor.  Here's to safe travels and a wonderful report.  #1 is doing much better, thank you.  He's more worried about the way it made him look than the way it made him feel.  He's OCD and has an anxiety disorder.  He read last night the "symptoms" of poisoning.  One of them was a "rash" so now he's convinced that someone tried to poison him.  Good grief!

MY vacation starts next Sunday night at 8pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Love to you all!
Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #46 on: June 01, 2008, 10:08:54 AM »
Morning ladies,

Queen, welcome back!  We've all missed you of course. I'm glad I got to do a little communicating with you via e-mail.  I'm so glad your gay bf is taking you to your appointment.  I would be upset with your ASO also.  It seems like there is more that could have been done.  But, you're going and that's what's important.  I will be keeping my fingers and legs crossed and thinking about you. 

Mum, I wish they could figure out what's going on with your lungs.  It sounds kind of like asthma.  I'm not trying to diagnose over the computer.  Did you ever get that rejection letter from Medicaid?  You really need to get on their asses if you haven't gotten it yet.  It must be really uncomfortable and frustrating.  I hope you're cleared up by the time your vacation starts.  What will you be doing on your vacation by the way? 

Well, I'm a bit frustrated at our system.  My friend I mentioned before that I talked to for 1/2 the night, I'm trying to help right now and I'm almost at wit's end.  I met him in NA years ago (about 17 years ago).  10 years ago he got busted for selling drugs and went to prison.  Now, because he has a drug felony on his record, he can't get Medicaid, Food stamps, housing assistance,federal student aid, zilch-and that means ever.  I remember when they passed this assinine law.  But, murderers and child molesters can get this help.  Anyway, he's Native American and the feds also took away his card that permitted him to like take advantage of other government programs.  Which makes me wonder what in the hell the government is doing in Indian affairs.  He has a lot of health problems.  He had a brain aneurysm years ago and a few years back he had a heart attack.  He has high BP, but because of not being able to get government assistance, has been unable to see a doctor/get medicine.  He's not working right now.  He just came back to this area from Arizona.  So, I'm trying to figure out what to do to help him.  I'm going to e-mail my doctor, who runs the clinic at the biggest homeless center here to see if he'll see him.  The clinic there usually sees indigant people for like $10/visit and sometimes they can obtain meds for people. 

I think when the government passed the law on drug felons not being able to receive any type of government aid (forever) it was one of the luniest things they did.  He's been out of trouble for 10 years and still can't get aid, because the drug felony will always be on his record.  A friend of mine told me there are some lawsuits going on over this right now.  If murderers and rapists can get help, then why punish drug felons?  It's just another one of our government's ways of doling out their own brand of justice, and it's ridiculous.  OK, I'm done ranting about that.  I hope you ladies have a good morning.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #47 on: June 01, 2008, 01:49:19 PM »
Afternoon Ladies---

Yes, it is good to be back and I missed all of you too. These forums are a part of my life now. Amazingly enough I am not stressed about the appointment on Tuesday like I was when I saw the specialists here. I am just glad to be able to make the appointment. I'm making it like a road trip and have the essentials plus my cam so I am going to be taking pics, some to post here and some for my blog.

Betty-- You know I am not political at all though I consider myself a Democrat. I have a felony charge to from back when I lived in Miami, for selling drugs. What can I say, I was 25, young, dumb and thought I was going to be the next Thug Miss. Now that has been over 14 years ago, haven't been in trouble since and still can't get a gun. I was even denied housing at one point, had to schedule a meeting with the man in charge of housing and plead my case. My case manager at the time even wrote a letter for me. And I feel for your friend. You know a lot of Native Americans too. I find it bizarre that murders get medical care but a person with a drug felony can't. Why are we even prolonging the life of a murderer? I don't get that.

Mum-- You have to get better before your vacation, it sucks to be sick and away on vacation. Glad #1 is better and it tickles me that he thinks someone poisoned him. He sounds like a LiL Detective now. Watch out Nancy Drew and Scooby Doo... :D

Well, not much to do today since me and the roomie had been cleaning all last night. But these damn bugs still won't go away. I discussed this with my case manager hoping they can find a way to get me out of this lease. He brought bug spray but it isn't killing the bugs but making them come out more. I hate bugs and don't do bugs.

The kittens are doing pretty good. They are up and around and being nosey. We have to clean out the room they were in and now their new home is on the porch. So today is strictly for relaxing. Have a good one.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #48 on: June 01, 2008, 02:23:48 PM »
hey ladies

I am just back from the nicest bbq ever - it was by a poz couple and had a mixed local and foreigner, poz and neg crowd, elderly, adult, adolescent, children, babies, dogs, you name it, in the best chilled atmosphere. my friend who gave it just has a knack for putting together the most unlikely mix of people and just making everyone feel completely at ease with each other, and this woman came here as a poz asylumn seeker with no rights, no nothing, amazing how some people are.

Queen, I am so glad for you that you can make you appt and it seems have a nice little trip as well. good luck with all of it.

Betty, I didnt know about this law. its insane. i would say it surprises me. except that I hear so many crazy things that nothing surprises me anymore. how are you knees. Nice that you reunited with your friend though - what a shit with his health its all simply infuriating.

Mom, glad #1 is better. well technically he has been poisoned but not by someone.

Wendy how was your Bday, do anything special?

Keeping, Cristy, Cindy, Wishful, Pink, Netta, Snow, Tendai, Veritee and everyone else out there, have a great week. mine will be full of work, so i might not check in very often, but thinking fondly of you all.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread Part XXXV- I Haven't Got Time for the Pain
« Reply #49 on: June 01, 2008, 04:03:36 PM »
Betty: no rejection letter >:(  Because the 1st is on a Sunday, we were hoping to get it in the mail on Friday along with #1's and #5's CHIPs insurance card.  Instead, we got a letter saying that they will NOT get their insurance back until we prove citizenship, which we did LAST MONTH.  Hubby called and spoke with the secretary who said that she remembered him coming in and isn't sure what happened.  Well, ain't that just grand?!?  So, he had to leave yet another message for the worker.  Beginning Monday, he's calling 3x /day everyday until the lady calls him back.  What's even crazier is that the 2 boys have had CHIPs for a year and we were never asked to submit anything.  Now, a year later, they are giving us crap saying that we didn't turn anything in.  I know it didn't get lost in the mail because Hubby hand delievered it to them the same day that Mini and #6 went to Morgantown to see their specialists. 

CHIPs (Unicare) is accepted exactly NO where here, but the boys have to have it to play sports.  And, we still pay for it, we just don't pay as much ($20 / dr. visit $10/ 'script).  Last year, they were covered, and still ended up paying for medical stuff out of pocket.  But, it's either that or we pay $800/month for insurance.

On our vacation, Hubby and I are going to go to Hershey park, take the Trolley tour, visit the candy plant, drive to Lancaster and visit Amish Country.  Where we are staying is a log cabin with a full kitchen, air conditioning, a nice deck with a porch swing - I'm not one to "rough" it.  We'll drop off the kids next Sunday at 8pm and pick them up at 8pm on Friday.  Before we go, we have 2 baseball games, a trip to Pittsburgh, and #4's 6th birthday party.  Good thing i work well under pressure.

I spent 3hrs yesterday cleaning our bathroom.  I cleaned all the cabinets and linen closet.  Then, I scrubbed all the grout, the bathtub, window sills, windows, and even the little space where the floor and wall meet.  Now it's sparkling clean.  Sucking in the chemicals probably didn't do well for my poor lungs.  It's really humid here today, so having a little problems, but not too bad.  At least I can breathe (sort of)

Ok, this is getting way longer than I wanted.  Moochies and louds of hugs to you all!
Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

 


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