Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 28, 2014, 10:14:58 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 632158
  • Total Topics: 47865
  • Online Today: 257
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Then There’s Reality  (Read 4517 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Then There’s Reality
« on: May 20, 2008, 09:20:31 AM »
Twenty years ago this September, a doctor told me I was infected with HIV and had probably six months to live. Then there’s reality.

People told me it would be almost impossible to ever have a long term loving relationship ever again since I had HIV. Then there’s reality.

Refusing medication up until then, six years ago I collapsed in a checkout line at a grocery store and nearly died. Then there’s reality.

This morning I was thinking about these things as I was getting cleaned up for the day so I thought I’d post them. Till my dying moment I never want to be what others predict for me. I’m sure a lot of members in this particular forum will understand.

Daniel

Edited to correct atrocious grammar.

Note to self: never post anything until you are awake!
« Last Edit: May 20, 2008, 04:07:33 PM by DanielMark »
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2008, 10:12:03 AM »
Were you naked at the time?
 ;D
Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,847
  • Vegas baby!
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2008, 10:30:26 AM »
Hi Daniel,

I was diagnosed in February 19 years ago.  I remember getting the paperwork in order for a power-of-attorney (which I still have), a medical health care representative (again, still have), a living will (probably needs to be updated), and a will (which definitely needs to be updated).  There's also a paid memorial service that's still at one of the local funeral homes.

As for long-term relationships, I haven't had a successful one, but not because of the HIV.  There were other circumstances.

I did take the meds back then, because I wanted to live.  I watched other HIV+ people around me drop like flies (especially those who refused the meds), and I didn't want to be one of them.

I'm sure different people had many different predictions for me, and some maybe still do.  I just try to live the best I can.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2008, 04:12:21 PM »
Actually, yes I was Joel. For some odd reason it's a lot easier to shower without clothes on. (Nobody tells me anything)!

Betty,

I believe most people try to do the best they can, although some days I must admit I've been tempted to throw in the towel. Just not tempted enough to actually do it. I guess we are close enough in HIV years to be brother and sister then.  ;)

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,604
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2008, 07:37:13 PM »
Daniel, I know exactly what you are saying my friend.  So many predictions for a life (or loss of life) by so many...and all were wrong.

I remember once telling my doctor "You know, I don't have to die just because you say so."   

hugs to you,

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2008, 08:54:42 PM »

I remember once telling my doctor "You know, I don't have to die just because you say so."   


LOL I love that Alan!

Offline red_Dragon888

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,811
  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2008, 09:06:12 PM »
me 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2008, 06:52:44 AM »
Daniel, I know exactly what you are saying my friend.  So many predictions for a life (or loss of life) by so many...and all were wrong.

Thank you for saying so, Alan.

I know the stats and probabilities. I just refuse to go along with them. It's a mind set and an attitude, and more often than not it has served me well. Doctors are only human like the rest of us and they can be wrong.

Hugs to you too,

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,384
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2008, 11:38:54 AM »
Daniel,

I think all of us were given the "dire predictions" way back when. I was told I had two years and then it would be a dirt nap for me.

Funny, I was told that in 1985 and I never did take that nap!  ;)

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #9 on: May 21, 2008, 12:12:29 PM »
Yea
Well I usually find a dose of reality when looking at myself naked in a mirror. 
What happened to me?
Thats not me looking back, but someone else.
I dont recognize that person.
What the years have taken in their toll!
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2008, 07:05:25 AM »
. . . I was told I had two years and then it would be a dirt nap for me.

Dirt nap. :D Love that!

MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,059
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2008, 09:21:41 AM »
I think all of us were given the "dire predictions" way back when. I was told I had two years and then it would be a dirt nap for me.

For the 10 years between 94-04, I went through three different doctors - each of whom constantly predicted my demise "in 3 months, if you're lucky" at each 2-3 month appt. Ten years of their predictions and they were obviously wrong all along.  :D

When I have survived even more of their dire predictions and recovered from PCP, they predicted my end again when I had just "regular" pnuemonia. Ha! I knew if I had survived it once (and the "bad" kind at that) then I was surely going to survive it again. (Personally, that's part of how I'm getting through the loss of my partner just a few weeks ago. I survived losing my partner 14 yrs ago, so somehow I'll survive again.)

Don't get me wrong. I really appreciate the help my doctors have given me over the years. But after living a life with a house fire, 3 burglaries, 14 car wrecks, the deaths of 7 pets and 2 partners, and my own near-death experiences twice, I don't think anyone can accurately "predict" what's going to happen to me. If they could predict accurately, Jim could have been spared a lot of suffering that he went through in the hospital for 50 days and I'd know whether I was going to be able to keep the house or if I ought to be packing up.

The future is just a great big mystery and who knows what'll happen. What do I know though is that anything can happen; and with the right attitude, you can make it through anything.

Cheers to all of us LTS who didn't (and still don't) listen to the predictions,
mikie  ;D
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2008, 02:50:53 PM »
Quote
The future is just a great big mystery and who knows what'll happen. What do I know though is that anything can happen; and with the right attitude, you can make it through anything.

My thoughts exactly, Mikie. I'm not saying it's always easy, but it's not always as bad as it seems especially if I'm ill or feeling down. My imagination should be registered as a lethal weapon some days. It can be draining when I’ve had to deal with yet another OI, but it’s even more draining if I agonise over it.

Although I depend on my doctors to advise me, I make it clear that I decide on what drugs go into my body, and that they can shove their wish lists (or are they death wish lists)?

Does that make me a rebel or just more stubborn than they are?  :-\
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline asuzq4u

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #13 on: May 28, 2008, 11:19:55 AM »
LOL- I was infected in 1983 from a boyfriend, married i 1986, diagnosed during my second pregnancy in 1992 (about 16 years ago, this month- the ex hubby is neg- go figure).  Both of my beautiful girls are healthy (despite my first being  breast fed for 6 months, too.) I took AZT right out of the gate as there was nothing else at the time and I was concerned for my unborn child.  I have taken meds on and off since then, and have been very healthy. 
I have lost friends and seen people sell life insurance thinking they are on the way out and then there is "reality".  The reality is life will go on so you better live it instead of waiting for it to end.  What a waste.......This is 25 years for me. 
so those of you out there recently diagnosed- keep the faith.  There is still much to learn about this mystifying virus...

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,847
  • Vegas baby!
Re: Then There’s Reality
« Reply #14 on: May 28, 2008, 07:37:03 PM »
Asuzq4u, welcome to the forums.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.