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Author Topic: Will be stunned if not infected  (Read 5377 times)

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Offline failure

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Will be stunned if not infected
« on: January 25, 2010, 11:16:30 PM »
I had vaginal sex five times or so (in a twelve hour period, total time-in-vagina probably over an hour, and rough, with frequent orgasms from her) with a girl who I am relatively certain is HIV positive (risky lifestyle, complained of frequent yeast infections, complained of frequent colds, had bad skin, refused to get tested, lied about having been tested recently, numerous partners, some partners 'former' intravenous drug users).  She does not know her HIV status, and is most definitely not being treated.  She is most likely well out of the 'active' HIV infection.  She believes that she may have 'some bacterial thing'. 

I did not get PEP, because I did not know about any of this until the deadline had passed.

This girl was on her period.

I was not wearing a condom.

I performed and received oral sex.

I performed manual sex using a finger with an epidermal abrasion on it, said abrasion looks 'infected' now.

After the acts, and some intense masturbation, I noticed that I had 'ripped my junk', it wasn't bleeding, but the skin was clearly broken.  I wasn't sure if it happened during sex, or with my hand, and I don't remember if I screwed her after seeing the rips.

I am circumcised.

This happened a little over a week ago.

I have tests for 'everything' scheduled at the five and thirteen week marks.

I have been treated for chlamydia/gono, meaning that I got a shot and a course of antibiotics, though the only signs were mild epididymitis, no discharge, hacking up a lot of nasty nasty phlegm, and what I thought was 'burning pee' (but may have been just paranoia).  Lab tests for bacteria are not back yet, but after antibiotics, most symptoms are gone.  I am experiencing a whole bunch of wacky symptoms due to stress and anxiety, and am also experiencing a whole bunch of perfectly normal things which I am identifying as symptoms.  I am reducing my anxiety by checking my temperature daily--as long as it does not go over normal, I do not have the #1 symptom of ARS, and relax slightly.

I will be more shocked if I am clean than I will if I am 'poz'.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2010, 07:56:09 AM »
The ONLY thing you did which was genuinely a risk for HIV transmission was having intercourse without a condom. Everything else you did and all of those details are only risky theoretically.

Getting tested at 6 weeks (rather than 5) is a better idea. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure. The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. For a conclusive negative result re-testing at 13 weeks is the testing point.

As far as symptoms go, they are never a reliable means of knowing one's status. Only an HIV test taken at the proper time can give you the answer you need.

It is harder to transmit HIV from female to male so that is in your favor.

For the future whatever your result, you need to be using a condom everytime you have vaginal or anal intercourse. By doing that consistently the HIV status of your partner becomes irrelevant. Condoms provide very effective protection.

Lastly you used the term "clean" in referring to HIV status. HIV status is not a matter of being clean or dirty. It's about being positive or negative and to use a term like "clean" is an insult to everyone who is living with the virus.  I'm sure you didn't intend that but it does give an idea of the stigma which those living with the virus have to contend.

Good luck with your test result. Keep us posted.
Andy Velez

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2010, 08:31:08 PM »
My results for chlamydia and gono came back negative, so some good news there. 

My test is scheduled six weeks out from the act, not five, I re-checked the calender.  I apologize for the insult, no offense was intended.

I had an abstinence-only sex education, and had always been under the impression that condoms don't do a thing for STDs.  Perhaps it is not too late for me to learn my lesson. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2010, 07:33:56 AM »
It should be called "abstinence only LACK OF education." That approach fails to address  people with real needs.

Anyway, that is good news about those negative results. Hopefully you will get the same for HIV.

Condoms are very effective protection against HIV. They're good with some STDs as well although some STDs can be passed from skin to skin and mouth to sex organ contact, which is why we always recommend a full STD panel be done at least annually by anyone who is sexually active.

Good luck with the next result and keep us posted.
Andy Velez

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2010, 09:18:10 PM »
Further reading indicates that the deadline for PEP is 24-72 hours.  The hospital person who saw me at the ER told me it was 2 hours.  I showed up at the ER reporting what I reported above within approximately 24 hours of my possible exposure. 

It is day 13, I missed an antibiotic, and now am back to 'hacking up disgusting things' and have a sore throat, a runny nose, and no fever or rash.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2010, 09:24:07 PM »
See a doctor for your cold.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2010, 09:16:03 AM »
You need to focus on other matters in your life while waiting to test. Otherwise you're just going to wring your hands and drive yourself nutz. And don't respond by saying you're too worried to think about anything else because I can tell you that response won't fly here.

You've got some waiting to do. Stop surfing the net and get productively busy with other things. The waiting time will go more quickly than you may imagine is possible.
Andy Velez

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2010, 06:01:12 AM »
I have learned that she is HIV+ and in denial.  I have hope, and that's about it.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2010, 09:52:27 AM »
Well, there is nothing to do but wait and get tested. Fingers crossed for you here.

I also belatedly want to address another issue. Early on you referred to your partner's "risky lifestyle," even as you acknowledged not wearing a condom. Instead of pointing a finger at someone else you need to reconsider your own behavior in terms of sexual activity. You can have intercourse with anyone you want to, regardless of their HIV status. Only you need to do it the safer way which means always, without exception, using a condom everytime.

Let's hope you make it through safely this time. Given that it is harder to transmit HIV from female to male rather than the other way around, the odds are in your favor.
Andy Velez

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2010, 06:34:59 PM »
I got an antibody test result today, it doesn't tell me anything about that encounter, but does assure me of something equally important (to me), namely, that my behavior up to that point was safe.

At present, I am having symptoms that I feel may be 'seroconversion syndrome', but am lacking fever and a rash, so I may just be suffering from acute anxiety.

The 'risky' lifestyle of my partner was not revealed to me (by her) until after the PEP period was up.  The 'in denial' statement is hearsay.  I was deceived, and now hope that my gullibility does not drastically shorten my lifespan.

Offline Ann

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #10 on: February 03, 2010, 08:30:16 PM »
Fail,

Hearsay is crap. People like to denigrate women who have sex. Even if she is hiv positive, you have a huge chance of coming out of this hiv negative.

And as Andy mentioned, you do not have the moral high ground to call this woman's lifestyle "risky". As the person who possesses the penis, YOU are the person who has ultimate control over condom use. YOU did not bother to use a condom and protect your health, so YOU have to deal with the consequences. I've got zero sympathy for a man who can't be bothered to put a condom on and then complains that the woman is "in denial" about their hiv status. YOU are in denial about YOUR responsibility to your own health. Grow up.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2010, 04:12:30 AM »
I have become aware of someone who is poz, who claims to have both gotten it from her, and informed her of this, with all the events taking place after her most recent hiv test.  I feel that "in denial" would be the appropriate way to describe this.  

I asked about risks and recent tests over a reasonable period of time, and received one answer before the intercourse, and different answers afterwards.  "Have you been tested six to thirteen weeks after your most recent encounter" went from "Yes" to "My last hiv test was two years and dozens of partners ago".  "Have you ever had sex with IDUs?" was answered with "No, never" before the act, and with "Yes, unprotected anal, on multiple occasions since my last hiv test" a week later.  I feel that "willful deception" is the appropriate way to describe this, and that my gullibility and emotional vulnerability is at the root.

I was also deeply offended at her abusive anger at the suggestion that she, and the people she has chosen to have sex with may be at risk.  "How dare you call the people I have sex with dirty" sums it up.

Does anyone have a personal story of hiv transmission from a female to a male in the relative absence of other risk factors?  I am unable to find any online, and feel that reading them would be theraputic.  In he end, the responsibility for the outcome of this lies entirely with me.  Thank you for your support.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2010, 04:26:52 AM by failure »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #12 on: February 04, 2010, 04:32:06 AM »
It's not about anyone else. Reread the replies that you have been given.

Offline Ann

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #13 on: February 04, 2010, 06:43:57 AM »
failure,

Asking someone about their hiv status never works. It's not so much because some might lie, but because so many don't know they have hiv and they think they're being honest when they say they're hiv negative.

You need to use condoms regardless of what someone says about their lifestyle or their hiv status until such time you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested negative for hiv and other STIs TOGETHER.

Words (ie "I'm hiv negative) won't protect you, intercourse with condoms will.

You do have a good chance of coming out of this ok. Hiv is very difficult to transmit from a woman to a man, although it is not impossible.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #14 on: February 04, 2010, 08:33:36 PM »
I'm scared, and am not getting my hopes up about coming out of this negative, though I am grateful for your optimism.  

I always saw condoms as one of many tools that I could use to protect others from me, rather than the other way around, I probably should have corrected that before I ended up on this forum.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2010, 11:31:45 AM by failure »

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #15 on: February 06, 2010, 06:39:43 PM »
This probably qualifies as attention whoring, so feel free to disregard it, but I'm posting what has happened so far 'symptom' wise, so that it can be 'looked back' at in the future.  If I am poz, I want the details remembered, if I am not, there may be value in looking back at my paranoia:

My appetite has been crap since 'the incident'.

 Sore throat, swollen lymphs, and upper resp problems for about a week, felt my middle ear 'going' on one of the day.  Member of my household and officemates have upper respiratory problems; sore throat started minutes after using a thermometer straight out of the container I bought it in, stupidly not washing it.  It was also in the period for ars symptoms 'normally' starting.  Had intermittent muscle/joint aches, mostly in legs, but then again, I was sitting down all week.  Near the end of the week, members of my household got bad diarrhea, I had two instances, two nights in a row, nothing during the day though.  I've woken up a few times with my whole body feeling 'hot', but I haven't had a fever, I know this because I have been OCD taking my temperature.  I have an apthous ulcer in my mouth, which I got right after brushing my teeth one day, I get these constantly as it is, so not a sign, but still on the list.  Near the end of the week, I started sweating every time I tried to go to bed, I got so scared that I stayed up, until lying down and getting under the covers didn't start me sweating.  

Now, a week after all that started, I can't find my lymphs, and I'm still hacking stuff up.  I feel so tired, but then again, it could be the weather, storms always knock me out.  Weeks later, the 'mild abrasion' I had on the hand I used on her has not healed, and is a shrinking, but still disgusting  sore
« Last Edit: February 06, 2010, 06:54:58 PM by failure »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #16 on: February 06, 2010, 06:43:15 PM »
Some observations from Matty the Damned.

I agree with the assessments of Ann and Andy. Also of Roddles. They speak big heap truth.

Your symptoms? Irrelevant with respect to HIV. I'm thinking you're in the Northern Hemisphere and it's cold and flue season there. Thus an upper respiratory infection is no great surprise.

Lymph nodes? All sorts of things make them swell. Especially prodding and poking at them. Stop doing that.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #17 on: February 06, 2010, 06:44:44 PM »
Absolutely nothing you are reporting symptomatically is in any way HIV-specific. Check it out with your doctor. You know, there are a lot other things about health in the world besides HIV. Just saying...

Meanwhile as you wait to get tested, you need to make a concerted effort to focus your attention on other matters in your life. And don't bother saying, "I'm too upset to do that," because I can tell you that response won't fly here.

Andy Velez

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #18 on: February 06, 2010, 06:59:37 PM »
Thank you for your support, the 'trained professional' agrees with you.  The 'specificity of symptoms' over here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_HIV_infection when ranked in descending order kind of messes with my head.  All this stuff is stuff I get all the time, but I'm sensitive to it now.  Getting productively busy helps, but there's always this nagging thought in the back of my mind that interrupts things: 'man, it really sucks that I could have hiv'.  It's probably bad that this is one of the first things I found when I was trying to see how likely transmission would be: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2569597  It doesn't even take menses into account...

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #19 on: February 06, 2010, 07:04:59 PM »
Firstly, wikipedia is shit. Particularly as a primary resource. You should discount whatever you read there about HIV.

You need to stop researching stuff and focus on what your medical practitioner tells you and what we tell you. Obsessively seeking answers (especially on the interwebz) is only gonna leave you with more questions.

Trust Matty the Damned when he tells you this, kiddo. He's seen this eleventy-squillion times before.

Perhaps you need to get up from the computer and go and do something constructive IRL.

MtD

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #20 on: February 06, 2010, 08:07:57 PM »
I got up, and constructively cooked myself a tasty meal, I am feeling much better. 

Thank you all.

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #21 on: February 08, 2010, 11:07:53 AM »
I finished my antibiotics yesterday, symptoms that I was prescribed them for returned almost immediately.  Today, I woke up with my forehead turning red, feeling like sandpaper, and some things that aren't quite pimples starting to appear.  I hope it's just raw skin from being out in the cold, but somehow I still have my doubts...no fever though.  Whenever I try to think about other stuff, it works until something new butts its' head into my life.

I have 'DNA PCR' scheduled for next monday, then the usual tests at the usual times.  
« Last Edit: February 08, 2010, 11:22:35 AM by failure »

Offline Ann

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #22 on: February 08, 2010, 11:22:29 AM »
Fail,

DNA PCR tests are NOT approved for diagnostic purposes because they have a high rate of FALSE positive results. RNA PCR tests ARE approved for diagnostic purpose but only when there has been a clear and high risk for infection, such as being the RECEPTIVE partner in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with someone of confirmed positive status. You did not have receptive intercourse with a person of confirmed positive status. You do not know for certain this woman is positive - you only have hearsay.

Regardless of what your PCR test results are, you will still have to confirm the result with standard antibody testing at the appropriate time.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #23 on: February 08, 2010, 02:16:20 PM »
I got more information, straight from the person who would know best:

 Her last hiv test, years, and many partners ago was not 'negative'.  It was 'positive' with an 'indeterminate' confirmatory test.  Did not return for another one later despite being advised to do so by the provider.  So yes, while I do not have evidence, I feel that I have grounds for strong suspicion.

I was told that while false positives can happen with DNA PCR, a 'potentially false' positive can be distinguished from a 'clearly true' positive by the test-reader, and that a negative at four weeks is a more reliable (95%) indicator than a negative antibody at four weeks.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #24 on: February 08, 2010, 02:28:29 PM »
As you were advised before PCR-DNA tests are not approved for diagnostic use. They are monitoring tests for people that are infected to monitor their HIV progression.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2010, 02:40:13 PM by RapidRod »

Offline Ann

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #25 on: February 08, 2010, 02:36:26 PM »
Fail,

A positive antibody test followed by an indeterminate Western Blot test is read as a negative result.

If you insist on testing with PCR testing, at least do the smart thing and go for an RNA instead of the more unreliable DNA. After all, DNA testing IS NOT APPROVED  for diagnostic testing but the RNA IS APPROVED for diagnostic testing. If you find yourself with a false positive DNA result, don't expect to get much sympathy from this forum.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #26 on: February 09, 2010, 02:16:17 PM »
You guys are right, I should just get the antibody test instead of the expensive and unnecessary DNA-PCR, a negative result would be expensive and inconclusive, and a positive result would need to be confirmed by two more tests; none of those options are good for anxiety. 

For reference purposes:

 After cycling off the doxycycline, my 'throat infection' is back with a vengeance, and oddly enough, so is the usual raft of joint and low back agony that I usually deal with, and some 'gastric upset'.  The pain is typically managed with anti-inflammatories, and according to internet research, doxycycline the antibiotic doubles as an anti-inflammatory, and is in fact used for that purpose.  I think the 'gastric upset' has to do with the antibiotic wiping out my 'friendly' gut flora.  I'm not sure if using this thread as a diary is appropriate, but I don't really know where else to go. 

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #27 on: February 09, 2010, 02:20:17 PM »
Failure,

I'm glad you've reconsidered the PCR-DNA test, as Ann points out they are entirely unsuitable for your purposes.

The purpose of this thread is for you to ask questions regarding HIV. If you would like to chronicle your various medical issues in a public fashion maybe you should consider registering with a free blogging service such as Blogger.

MtD

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #28 on: February 14, 2010, 04:22:22 PM »
I test tomorrow, normal antibody thing.  Sore throat for four days, getting progressively worse, expecting a positive result.  Emotionally, the only thing a negative result will say to me is 'you're still in the window period', even though the stats suggest that 90% of people will have seroconverted by that point. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #29 on: February 14, 2010, 05:01:04 PM »
Sounds to me as if you are already preparing to stay worried and dramatic even when you receive the negative result I expect you to get.

You sure are spending a lot of energy on what was a low-risk situation to begin with.

Andy Velez

Offline failure

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #30 on: February 16, 2010, 06:44:51 PM »
Test: negative, thank you all for the support.  I will not be staying worried and dramatic.

I now expect negative results at the six and thirteen week marks.  Thanks to this forum, and some healthy introspection, I have changed my attitude towards quite a few things, including but not limited to condom use, and especially the stigma felt by people living with hiv.

I will only post further if my result changes, I find myself with an infected friend or loved one, or am explicitly invited to do so. 

Offline whatisgoingon874

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #31 on: February 16, 2010, 06:56:46 PM »
I was reading your post. I am very happy for you. Good luck, in the future.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #32 on: February 16, 2010, 07:12:19 PM »
I was reading your post. I am very happy for you. Good luck, in the future.
Read the posting guidelines for this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #33 on: February 16, 2010, 09:35:59 PM »
874, what Rod is pointing out is that only those who are authorized to do so are allowed to respond in other members' threads. Your intentions are the best but you are not authorized to respond here. Please confine your comments to your own thread.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Will be stunned if not infected
« Reply #34 on: February 16, 2010, 09:36:55 PM »
That's good news, Failure. I expect you to continue to collect negative test results.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

 


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