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Author Topic: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks  (Read 3604 times)

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Offline Upnorth

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Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« on: April 30, 2008, 06:36:16 PM »
Hi there!

First off, thanks for running this forum/website.

I took a HIV test 3 days ago, I haven't been able to work, have trouble with sleeping and eating since then. I got this insane anxiety/fear of having HIV. I have taken a test before, but this time It really got to me, I don't even manage to go out of the house. I'm not looking for sympathy, It's my own stupidity that have got me in this situation. I just want some straight forward answers.

My story 2006 - May 2008
- In 2006 I took a HIV test that was negative
- Since then I have unfortunately lived life without thinking about the consequences with unsafe sex

- I have had sex with 6 prositutes, used condom every time and no condom break that I noticed.
- In addition I have had sex with 6 girls that I have dated, unfortunately without using condom, some of the girls I have had sex with several times. These girls are normal girls and don't belong to any risk groups.

- It's been two months since my last unprotected sex with one of the girls I dated.

Questions:

1. Whats the risk for me being HIV positive with having unprotected sex with normal girls that don't belong to any risk groups?

2. I have always used a condom when being with prostitues, but for about 14 days ago I had sex with a prostitute and some of the oral sex was without condom. She kissed my testicles, my penis lower region and kissed me with her tounge right under the penis head and a little bit on the penis head, without condom. Only for a very short time, I don't got any cuts etc. Is there any risk for me being HIV postive from this episode? The sex act was with condom.

3. If I'm HIV positive, how do you tell your former partners that they may have HIV? I maybe could live with me being HIV positive, but I dont think I could live a normal life knowing that I destroyed other peoples life.

Some stats:
I come from a country in Europe
Theres about 4,5 million people living in my country(yes it's a small country)
We have approx. 3787 HIV positive living in my country
In 2007 there was 248 new HIV positive infections. 44 of these was from hetero sexual encounters.
There are still low HIV infections between hetero sexual young people.
(Stats from our people health institute, new official stats for 2007, released this year)

The irony in this is that it was the last prostitute that made me understand, that I have had my head in my ass for the last two years. She asked me what a young guy like me was doing with a prostitute and not being out with friends and having fun instead. Since then I have been thinking a lot and pulled my shit togheter and want to live a normal life without prostitutes, enjoy life and everything in it. I just don't hope its to late.

Thanks for all the reply on this post
« Last Edit: April 30, 2008, 06:47:30 PM by Upnorth »

Offline Upnorth

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Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2008, 07:26:55 PM »
Some additional info:
2-3 days after my meeting with the prostitute that performed some oral sex without condom, I got a bit trouble with my throat, kind of sore and feels like I had dust in it and cough a little bit blood. Also a heavy chest with some sticking. I have been to my doctor, but he could not find anything, took blood sample, xray etc. I have been under a lot of stress at work and have been a lot of dust, because of a rebuiled of the office, so It may be the dust from the building that I have reacted on. Feel better now, but still a little sore/dry. Could this be HIV?

But then again I had heavy chest before visiting the prostitute, when I was jogging the week before. Feeling a little bit out of shape.

I don't know, cant stop thinking about it. The combination of work, stress, sore throat, hiv anxiety, to much thinking is making me unstable.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2008, 07:31:46 PM by Upnorth »

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2008, 07:34:56 PM »
Up,

Getting a blowjob is NOT a risk for hiv infection, no matter who it is that might be sucking your cock.

However, unprotected intercourse IS a risk, again no matter who your partner might be. There is no such thing as "risk groups" in the real world, there are only risk activities and unprotected intercourse is one of them.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

You have had a risk - with these so-called "normal" women - and you do need to test. A test at three months past your last incident of unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse will be conclusive.

Don't get into the habit of bringing your symptoms to us. We cannot diagnose your symptoms and if you feel unwell, see your GP. Symptoms or even the LACK of symptoms will tell you nothing about your hiv status. The ONLY way to know your hiv status is through testing.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Upnorth

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Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2008, 07:51:37 PM »
Thanks for the fast reply.

The lesson is learned on condom use. I'm not planning on putting myself trough this again, or risking myself or others for STI.

I see your point on "risk groups", I'm just trying to calm myself a bit, with that and the stats. But I understand I just have to deal with it and wait.

I got a message from my doctor that they use a new combo test that is secure after 2 months. I have also did a test on other STI, nothing found.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2008, 07:54:00 PM by Upnorth »

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2008, 08:01:56 PM »
Up,

Look mate, you've been focusing on the wrong set of women. When you use condoms for intercourse, you've covered where hiv is concerned. (remember, blowjobs will not infect you)

If you've tested negative at six weeks or more, then you're highly unlikely to be infected. However, you do need to confirm this at three months simply because this is the official window period. Whatever your doctor says, we here at aidsmeds stick by the official window.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and more so from a woman to a man. However, this does not mean it is impossible to transmit from a woman to a man. This is why you MUST use condoms if you want to avoid hiv infection.

Besides, you'll also avoid things like chlamydia, which is much more easily transmitted and much more prevalent in the population than hiv is.

I do expect you to come out of this ok. However, if you keep having unprotected intercourse, you're increasing the chances of ending up hiv positive. Don't do that

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Upnorth

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Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2008, 10:33:53 AM »
Got some great news from my doctor. The HIV test was negative  :) Also they had checked my urine/blood nothing else found.

As said It's two months ago since I had unprotected sex. So next month I will take a final test to be 100% sure.

But should I test myself 2 1/2 months after that again? Because of the oral incident?
(I have always used a condom when being with prostitutes, but for about 14 days ago I had sex with a prostitute and some of the oral sex was without condom. She kissed my testicles, my penis lower region and kissed me with her tongue right under the penis head and a little bit on the penis head, without condom. Only for a very short time, I don't got any cuts etc. Is there any risk for me being HIV positive from this episode? The sex act was with condom.)

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2008, 10:58:52 AM »
Up,

You only need to test for the unprotected intercourse as getting a blowjob, with or without a condom, is not a risk for hiv infection.

I do not expect your two month negative result to change.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Upnorth

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cut on the base of penis hiv risk?
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2009, 05:31:01 PM »
Hi,

First of, thanks for a great forum and service.

I'm not looking for sympathy or start a moral discussion. I have been trough the waiting and insecurity before. I had promised myself that I was never gonna do this again, putting myself at risk. The funny thing is that after my last post here for about 2 years ago, I got a girlfriend and steady relationship. We was talking about buying house and marrige, but I caught her cheating 1 month ago and learned she have been doing it more then once. In the rage of what I have learned about her and the break up, I did this stupid thing. So now I have maybe gotten myself HIV because of a stupid way to handle the situation.

I had sex with a prostitute. 2-3 hours before we had sex I shaved and got some cuts on the base of the penis. I used band aid, but some of the cuts was not covered. Small cuts. The reason for the cuts is penis pimples(acne), when I shave some of the acne cuts and bleed a little.

The bleeding was stopped before the sex, but I washed before the sex, that may have caused the wounds to open. We had sex with condom, oral, vaginal and anal. The prostitute was very professional and careful with the condom and used cream for the anal sex. The condom did not break.

Question
1. When she was sitting on top of me, her vagina and fluids touched the base of my penis. The condom cover the penis, but not the base. Can this infect me with HIV? Because of my cuts.

2. I did use my finger on her vagina, but not inside. Can this infect me? When I used my finger inside her vagina we used doctor gloves.

3. I have penis pimples(acne) this is a STD, but my doctor say that is a common STD that is not dangerous. When I get a lot of acne I use a cream that removes them. But my question is, since the cuts was on the acne's, can that increase the risk of getting HIV?

« Last Edit: November 01, 2009, 05:41:58 PM by Upnorth »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2009, 06:11:58 PM »
First of all I have merged your threads. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread.

You are worrying needlessly. The important thing is that the head of your penis was covered. It is through the pee hole that HIV can enter and not through the other kinds of nicks, cuts and whatever that you are worried about.

Fingering is not a risk for HIV transmission.

I don't see any cause for concern nor any reason to get tested over this recent incident.

Keep using those condoms everytime. They provide very effective protectiong.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Upnorth

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Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2009, 05:06:25 AM »
Sorry for not merging the threads.

Thank you for your answer.

So what I have read about fluids from the vagina can cause transmission is wrong? If it was on bare skin I would not be worried, but since I had open cuts/wounds and she was sitting on top of me, causing the fluids from the vagina to touch/rubb against the cuts/wounds at the base of the penis I have some concern.

Since my last concern two years ago, I have got the condom use inprinted in my head and I am happy that it finally stuck. But I have never tought of cuts/wounds.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #10 on: November 02, 2009, 08:11:15 AM »
The vaginal fluids which can contain HIV are in the area of the cervix, far up in the vaginal cavity. The vaginal fluids with which your body was coming into contact with would have been from the area around the vaginal lips.

In any case this is a pointless discussion. I have never known of anyone to have become infected through vaginal fluids on the body surface. It's a fragile virus and transmission simply doesn't happen in the manner you are concerned about.

Period.
Andy Velez

Offline Upnorth

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Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #11 on: November 02, 2009, 10:09:52 AM »
Thank you for your reply. I got some additional information that I forgot to mention.

Before the vaginal intercourse she used a dildo(with condom protection) on herself. I don't remember that she took it all the way in. But I am not sure about this. Then we waited a little bit and I used my finger in her vagina(with doctor gloves) and cream. Can this have taken fluids from the cervix, so when we had vaginal sex the fluids was on the vaginal lips and got in contact with my wounds.

I am aware of posters that keep posting when you have allready given an answer, I just want to add the additional information and wonder if this could change the risk? This is my last post.

Thank you for a great forum and service. You are helping a lot of people.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I be worried? Need answers, thanks
« Reply #12 on: November 02, 2009, 10:54:13 AM »
No, none of what you have added changes what has already been said to you. No risk.
Andy Velez

 


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