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best friend just tested positive

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 my best friend in the entire world called me with the devasting news that he is HIV positive. He has been pretty sick with weird marks on his skin, a fever, and a sore throat, and the doctor tested him for everything and this came back positive. I still can't believe it. I think he's still processing it too. I'm just so nervous for him. I've been reading massive amounts of material, and keep getting conflicting reports. I'm trying to stay strong for him, and keep it to gether, but every time he calls me i start crying. I can't stop crying. I would do anythihng in the world for this man. He told me the news before he told his family. I just want to know what I can do for him? I hate it because I live in Boston, and he's far into Connecticut. He is family to me. I'm not ignoring it when he talks to me, we do talk about it, but right now he's putting on a happy face, because I feel like it hasn't sunk in for him yet. I want to learn from everyone's experiences on him, and help find words of comfort. I am here for him no matter what happens and want to do everything in my power to help him.

thank you.

By the time most people get tested in the hospital ER they are already really, really sick.  Depending on how strong and responsible he's been in the past, how sick he is will help determine the help he may need, and how readily available he's willing to receive it.  Some people get so sick that their judgement gets blurred or they are at an educational level that they really can't comprehend what's going on or the consequences of their decisions.

Hi cherrybomb-

You're already doing the right thing. :)  Just being there for him means so much, trust me. 

When my bf was diagnosed I struggled with the same thing. I felt so helpless.  With time, I realized all you can do is be there.  Listen when he wants to talk about it, give him hugs (even if its just the virtual kind) and make him smile.  When he doesn't want to talk about it -that's okay too. 

When you have questions..ask them here.  The people on this site are full of good information and advice.

Wishing you the best-

Thank you so much both of you : ) It helps to tlak to people who have been through what I'm going through. If a person is hiv positive, does it take a while for them to get sick? his initials symptoms have gone away. he gets another test result on monday, but they are 99 percent sure he has it. He's trying to be really strong and live his life normally. I talk to him multiple times a day, and let him talk about it if he wants. He's an incredibly strong man, and I know he won't let this hold him back. I just don't for him to be sick :( But I thank you both so much, it means a lot to me ( and him as well ) that there are people like you out there to help get through such a tough time.


--- Quote from: cherrybomb on April 24, 2008, 05:00:02 PM ---If a person is hiv positive, does it take a while for them to get sick?

--- End quote ---

Whether or not one will get sick right away depends on what the initial blood counts (CD4s, %'s, viral load) show.  If he is indeed HIV+, he'll need to find a good infectious disease doctor and get these things taken care of.  Treatment today is so much better than it was when I tested HIV+ (1989).  Most things can be handled within a reasonable time span.

The only thing you can do is what you're doing.  Just be there, be a shoulder.  Sometimes it does take time for an HIV+ diagnosis to sink in.  You're being there for him means everything in the world.  Good luck.


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