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Author Topic: A Meth Head To Her Madness  (Read 2481 times)

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Offline thunter34

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A Meth Head To Her Madness
« on: April 12, 2008, 01:01:27 PM »
I just had to write a horribly painful letter.  A friend that I have known for years and years is slipping away from me.  From everyone.  She's had a history with depression and mental illness (hey, haven't we all?), but in recent times has taken to seriously self medicating with meth.  Now I'm no angel on that front - not by a long shot - but it has become increasingly obvious that this is overtaking her ability to remain rational.  Her history includes depression, BPMD and Borderline Personality Disorder.  She has no insurance and the old doctor she used to see gave her loads of samples (enough to equal having a prescription) of meds that kept her stabilized.  This doctor has since retired and the pills aren't coming like before.  She has not taken any initiative to find a new doctor or get some sort of publicly assisted medical treatment - out of pride or perhaps simply because the nature of these diseases tends to paralize people and keep them from getting help for themselves.  I know this firsthand. 

Now add to this the fact that she now seems to be continually staying up with the meth.  It appears that the routine is to stay up for three or four days and the sleep for a couple, repeat.  All of this is on top of the underlying problems has resulted in extreme paranoia and mood swings, volatile & explosive anger all over an undercurrent of continual deep depression. You have to stay on eggshells around her all the time now.  You never know what will set her off or when.  She seems resigned to just be in the state she's in and seems just a little too optimistic about the day she meets her maker.  I've sat back and watched it until I couldn't anymore. 

Years ago, she had severe anorexia.  I never saw it at the time.  I saw her - not fat, not skinny - just her.  I look back at photos of her now (at 80 lbs) and feel sick at myself for not seeing it, not saying anything, not doing something.  I see this now, though.  And I had to say something.  It will likely cost me my friendship once she reads the mail.  But I'm willing to sacrifice the friendship to be a friend.  If something happened to her and I knew that I saw it coming and stood by without a word, I could never live with myself.  She trusts no one now.  The last three times I have seen her have resulted in explosive shout downs followed by "don't speak to me".  This latest one came by email just a bit ago.  Don't speak to me was replaced with "stay away from me completely".  I had been planning to write something to her over this weekend anyway.  This just shows that it's even more urgent than I had estimated...and that estimation had been pretty high.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline bear60

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2008, 01:51:38 PM »
So, what are you going to do?
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline thunter34

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2008, 01:58:59 PM »
So, what are you going to do?

Well, I just did.  I sent her the letter stating what I see is becoming of her.  I also sent mental health / assistance contact information to members of her family who are also distressed about her current condition.  This, of course, will really get me on the shit list with her.  But it had to be done.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline bear60

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2008, 03:01:07 PM »
I hope your efforts help her, Tim.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2008, 03:53:35 PM »
Tim, I had one of my dearest, oldest, closest friends in such a situation.  BPMD + meth is some seriously fucked up shit.  His meth habit, which at the time I wasn't aware was anything more than the high end of what I normally term recreational, was really full on addict (you know how these folks are skilled at hiding stuff) but when he got kicked out of a string of apartments, and had tapped his last friend, of course he turned to me and I let him move into my Brooklyn pad.  It was only supposed to be for a couple weeks, and that turned into months.  He slept on a mattress on the floor of the living room, and would disappear for days, then return and sleep for days on end -- but when it got to the point where he was screaming REALLY REALLY LOUD all of the time in his sleep I had to sit him down and do an impersonation of what was happening.  I pretty much forced his hand into dealing with the problem and he started doing the NA thing.  The first few years were very touch and go -- he moved out of course, and in with a BF, and that collapsed because unwisely my friend was trying to clean up, yet was dating a coke dealer.  *hello*

Anyway, not sure why I'm rambling except to say maybe a letter will not suffice.  Or it is a first step.  I'd highly recommend sitting the girl down and having it out face-to-face, assuming you're completely that close to do this.

Hardcore meth addiction is every bit as severe as a heroin addiction, and I've had to mop up friends with that too.

On the plus side, my meth friend has now been clean for 6 years, and finished his college degree with close to a 4.0 GPA.

Anyway... hugs and all that stuff.  Sucks for sure.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Jeff G

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2008, 05:20:29 PM »
 I think you know you did the only thing you could . I know first hand about meth addiction . The person you described was me at one time and the one thing I had that helped me find my way back to sanity was a friend like you . If my friend hadn't the courage to stand up and confront me I cant say that Id be alive today. I was mad as hell for awhile , now he is my hero .

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2008, 06:09:31 PM »
Dear Youth Pastor Tim,

I know you had read some of the things I wrote earlier about Ms. Seabreeze.  She was a multiple diagnosis person who enjoyed a warm beer, out of her pocket at any time.  Alcohol is her drug of choice.  Ms. Seabreeze was recently released from the Main Adult Detention Center after 8 months for 3 DUI's.

I sent to Ms. Seabreeze (through her Pastor) a list of every task, the amount of hours, and the amount of miles I drove to handle her business (at my cost). Also gave her a copy of every check I cashed, the bills paid and the accounts closed and what was due on her other accounts, it balanced to the penny.  I told her in writing, if I ever see her at my door, I will file charges for my time and expenses.  She has been out of jail now for two weeks and I haven't seen or heard anything  ;D ;D ;D  Have the best day
(who believes Patrick Henry really said, "Give me Librium or Give me Meth")

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2008, 08:10:07 PM »
Do what you can to help her get treatment but don't get sucked into the chaos of her life.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2008, 08:13:55 PM »
There's not much you can do if the person won't admit how bad their problem is.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline BT65

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2008, 08:40:01 PM »
Timmy, you can't kick yourself for the coulda's, shoulda's, woulda's.  You're attempting to do something now, and that's what counts.

I can tell you that on my last "drug run," I finally was court-ordered (out of a nursing home no less) into the county mental health facility.  I was taken out of the place by two sherrifs, in handcuffs, shackles, in a wheelchair straight to the back of their cop car.  I guess sometimes desperate situations call for desperate measures.  That was 2 1/2 years ago and for me, that's what it took.

Hopefully her family will do something.  You've given them the information; it's totally up to them to do something. 

I don't really know if sitting down with her in her current mental state would make that much of a difference.  It sounds like maybe legal intervention could be warranted.  In my state at least, this has to be done via the family like through a doctor (to get a court order). 

Kudos to you for doing what you did.  I'm here for ya if I can do anything supportive wise.
     Luv and hugs,
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline mjmel

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2008, 08:22:25 PM »
She needs to hit bottom to straighten herself out or she will die. Some friendly intervention is needed before she goes any further. Inform her family or someone who will act to do something as this is more than you can handle. You'd think her family has noticed these things as well. ???  I agree with Betty, that a 'you and her sit-down' is not going to achieve much. Not at this stage.

Eventually, with treatment, the paranoid frame of mind will diminish and she will be herself again. At that point, she likely won't hate you. The body mass will be restored. However, there will be her own personal problems staring her in the face--those that were there the day she decided to run from them..........which is even more reason to be in the care of professionals.

Be guiltless, Tim. There are reasons you have not intervened before. Get that in your noggin.

Offline rondrond

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #11 on: April 15, 2008, 08:37:24 AM »
If she is being paranoid and volatile, she is probably not going to listen to you. I know I wouldn't have and I was seeing orange people....in trees.....waving at me. It was my sister who talked me out of the drug house. Once I was away from the 'routine'  of the drug house, the lure of meth, and locked up in a motel room, with constant visits by family members who brought platters of food, did I start to want to help myself. But, like Betty said, it was my family that took control, I only had to agree, or disagree.
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

No Meds for 7 Years

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Offline Buckmark

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2008, 03:31:54 PM »

Others' replies here have pretty well said it all, I think.  It's going to be
very, very hard to get through to your friend at this point.  She's really
got to make the decision for herself to straighten things out.  But you
did the right thing by trying, by pointing out to her what you are seeing
in her, and by contacting her family.   Sometimes, the most difficult thing
to acknowledge is that there is nothing more you can do.


"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline DCGUY2007

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #13 on: April 17, 2008, 02:39:22 AM »
This is sad. I had a friend who started doing Meth too. I was totally shocked. He had a great job , great looking , nice place. He thought he could handle it and I slowly saw him going down hill. When I tried to discuss my concerns he just brushed them off.

I even offered to go to a gay recovery meth group with him. But he never wanted to go. I finally had to pull away. I sent him the info for the groups and he never went.

From what I hear this stuff can be very addictive.

Offline BT65

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Re: A Meth Head To Her Madness
« Reply #14 on: April 17, 2008, 07:46:51 AM »
I have a good friend (who has Aids btw) who constantly gets strung on oxycontin.  His mum called me last week to inform me that he ran out once again, poured gasoline on himself and her and tried to ignite them both.  He's in a treatment center right now in Indy.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow


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