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Author Topic: Maybe some older folks can answer this  (Read 3093 times)

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Offline Blond35

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Maybe some older folks can answer this
« on: July 19, 2006, 10:05:02 PM »
why is life so hard? i am not asking for it to be easy? but it just seems like i dont know. in the past YEAR i have gotten fired, used up all my retirement savings, gone in debt $12K (and climbing). left a place i called hoke for 12 yrs. moved 300 miles to a new city, where i knew only one person, and the moved placed and continues to place such a strain on things, on a relationship. my job is ok but i my salary is WELL BELOW the metro norm. i have personal belongins still in my old city. i realize some people have it way worse but.. i dunno...  :-\
"New York ...managed to reach the highest point in the sky at the lowest moment of the depression."
--Here Is New York, E.B. White

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,260
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2006, 10:22:30 PM »
Life's not easy unless you live in a rich bubble, like the Hiltons.  I've been in dire shits, trust me, and somehow things seem to work out one way or another.  just keep trying.  If you ever feel like giving up, then let yourself have a good cry, but when you're done don't dwell on it but pick yourself up and keep moving. It will get better.  It might take a while, but you can rest assured that no matter what happens, a bill collector cannot put you in jail. It will get better! 8)

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,399
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2006, 10:46:34 PM »
I know how you feel. I was given the boot from a job I had had for 17 years, was out of work for seven months, failed miserably at one job I tried and then landed the one I have now, which is rewarding and frustrating all at the same time.

Hang in there. Things usually have a habit of working out. It just takes time and patience sometimes.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline et in arcadia ego

  • Member
  • Posts: 95
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2006, 01:39:14 AM »
I am old, so I can answer this.

Life is hard because it would be so much less fulfilling if it were easy.

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2006, 06:25:02 AM »
Life is difficult because we grow from challenges. If it were an easy ride, you would be less of a person.

The "problem" comes from expecting life to be otherwise.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,639
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2006, 08:18:37 PM »
The important thing is to LEARN from your mistakes.   Lord knows, I have made more than my share.   I am a FIRM believer in Karma.....what goes around comes around.   'As ye sow, so shall ye reap'...that kind of thing.  I was not always a good person when I was young....I have paid a dear price for that.   Also, I have learned some valuable life lessons.   Be kind to people.   Be generous with those who are less fortunate.

Who am I to give advice?   I'm almost 50, disabled, and poor.   But I'm mostly content, and I never want for friendship and love, I have an abundance of that in my life, a lot of it from these forums.

Good luck, and remember, Life really is a JOURNEY.   (sometimes you just get stuck on a merry-go-round).

Hugs,
Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Terry

  • Member
  • Posts: 339
  • 7/13/82 Infected
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2006, 08:40:33 PM »
Life is how one looks at it.

One person will be upset because it’s raining outside and he can’t go to the beach while another will look at the rain as ending a long drought season.

One person will complain because it snowed and he now needs to dig his car out while his kids are happy because it’s now a “No School day”

One guy will complain because he needs to cut the lawn while his neighbor loves working in the garden for the exercise and relaxation. 

It’s all how you look at things. Reminds me of the story of the man who complained that he didn’t have a decent pair of shoes and his feet hurt so much until he met a man who had no feet.

Also reminds me of my fathers wake when I had overheard my aunt Katherine say to my mother, “He look so good.” I said What? He’s dead!  Again it’s how one looks at a situation.

Terry
« Last Edit: July 20, 2006, 08:42:18 PM by Terry »

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2006, 04:19:16 AM »
Making the Choice for Joy

It might sound strange to say that joy is the result of our choices. We often imagine that some people are luckier than others and that their joy or sorrow depends on the circumstances of their lives - over which they have no control.

However, we do have a choice, not so much in regard to the circumstances of our lives, but in regard to the way we live our lives. Two people can be the victims of the same accident. For the one, it becomes the source of resentment; for the other, the source of gratitude. The outer circumstances are the same, but the choice of response is completely different.

Some people become bitter as they grow older. Others grow old joyfully. That does not mean that the life of those who become bitter was harder than the life of those who become joyful. It means that different choices were made, inner choices, choices of the heart.

It is important to become aware that, at every moment of our lives, we have the opportunity to choose joy. Life has many sides to it. There are always sorrowful and joyful sides to the reality we live. And so we always have a choice to live the moment as a cause for gratitude and joy.

It is in this choice that our true freedom lies, and that freedom is, in the final analysis, the freedom to love.

It might be a good idea to spend a moment at the end of each day and decide - whatever may have happened - to remember the day as a day to be grateful for. In so doing, we increase our hearts' capacity to choose for joy. And as our hearts become more joyful, we will become, without any special effort, a source of joy for others. Because just as sorrow begets sorrow, so joy begets joy.

Henri Nouwen
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,399
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2006, 12:17:25 PM »
DanielMark,

That was great. I try to choose joy every day. There are days it isn't easy, but it does make life worth living.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2006, 12:54:57 PM »
Thanks Mark,

A hug for you too. ;D

Okay, I posted this because it says what I try to remind myself every day. And that is, that everyone has something to carry through this life. No exceptions. Life is full of crap.  We all know it. I believe in surrounding myself with every possible goodness and good person within reason, to counterbalance it all.

It takes work, yes, but not to push back against negativity with something more optimistic is emotional suicide for me.

I canít imagine trying to keep alive, then live being miserable just because shit happens. It happens to everybody. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, if we expect things to always be easy or uncomplicated we are only inviting disappointments.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2006, 12:35:25 PM »
Just don't give up...that's the key.  Never say never and never say die...is my motto and I've had my share of
challenges as well...  Hang in there and don't be afraid to ask for help.

DanielMark...I can't help but notice what an incredibly POSITIVE guy you are...You always have a kind word and an encouraging suggestion.  God!  It's great having people like you in the world! :-*
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2006, 12:45:47 PM »
My motto..... (while my signature holds true as well)


Never take life too seriously because you will never get out alive!


Helps me keep things in perspective.  It's never as bad as I think and always better than I know.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline BB

  • Member
  • Posts: 168
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2006, 07:44:55 PM »
Yo ACinKC ya forgot about the single malt scotch in one hand and the new york cheese cake in the other. Whatsa matter wit yous!
Damn the Torpedoes! Full speed ahead! Adm. D. Farragut.

Started Atripla 8/18/06 and if I eat the right food when I take my meds, I get to go on a-trip-la.

Offline RAB

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2006, 08:26:21 PM »
DanielMark

You said:

Quote
It takes work, yes, but not to push back against negativity with something more optimistic is emotional suicide for me.

That my friend is something I needed to hear today.  I try to spend my life "making the choice for joy" because I've found it truly does add to the quality of my life. 

There are times however, when I get distracted and need to be reminded.  (And isn't it easy to fall into that cycle?)

You have done that for me at a time when I needed it.  Thanks buddy.

RAB

(Who has a smile on his face.)

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #14 on: July 26, 2006, 04:47:03 AM »
David wrote:

I can't help but notice what an incredibly POSITIVE guy you are...You always have a kind word and an encouraging suggestion.

RAB wrote:

That my friend is something I needed to hear today.  I try to spend my life "making the choice for joy" because I've found it truly does add to the quality of my life. 

There are times however, when I get distracted and need to be reminded.  (And isn't it easy to fall into that cycle?)


I must sound like I have no problems. That I'm on heavy doses of Fukitol or something. (God bless Trish for posting that. I'm still laughing, as are all the friends I sent it to.)  ;D

The truth is, I have down times and discouraging days like anyone else. I just don’t see any good point in spreading pain around. Self pity and negativity can become an addiction, but in 46.5 years I’ve also learned – through a lot of challenges and painful times – that optimism and forward thinking can be just as catching. It all depends if I want to feel lousy or feel okay. I have that choice, even when the choice may only be between two crappy options.

I no longer expect life to be easy, and since I don’t expect that I’m not as disappointed as I have been in the past. It also helps that I have an innate ability to laugh at myself (all human foibles really), so I try not to take myself or the world overly seriously.

My sig says Follow your honest heart. Another one I sometimes use is Kindness costs nothing.

I believe in them both.

Daniel
« Last Edit: July 26, 2006, 04:48:41 AM by DanielMark »
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #15 on: July 26, 2006, 05:23:53 AM »
Well I'm a little bit older than you Daniel.(I'm 49.2) i understand exactly what you are saying here. I think you are kinda like me...You would rather post something positive then negative, and there is nothing wrong with that. But you are a human being, and it's normal for you to have a bad day, get down, etc.So why not post about the bad days you have? I'm sure we won't hold that against you LoL. And knowing you, by doing that once in a while, we would all benefit from know that you are a human being, and have your bad days as well.
The bottom line I feel, is to do what makes you feel good. And some times, posting the bad does us all some good. Just my 2 cents. You are a great guy!
Positive since 1985

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #16 on: July 26, 2006, 05:55:05 AM »
Hi Jeffrey,

So why not post about the bad days you have? I'm sure we won't hold that against you LoL. And knowing you, by doing that once in a while, we would all benefit from know that you are a human being, and have your bad days as well.

Not too sure how to reply to that. I did mention in my previous post that I have down times and discouraging days like anyone else, but I guess that’s not the point you’re making.

The original poster (Blond) had written “why is life so hard? I am not asking for it to be easy? but it just seems like I don’t know.” My replies in this thread have been my perspective on his question.

If and when the time comes and I feel the need to dump or decompress, I suppose I will be posting about whatever I may be having a hard time with. Until then, I hope that doesn’t make me less than human tho.  ;D

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Lisa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,240
  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #17 on: July 26, 2006, 07:54:39 AM »
     ROFLMAO.......LOL@ Fuckitol. That just slays me.
This will be added to my vocabulary! :P
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Maybe some older folks can answer this
« Reply #18 on: July 26, 2006, 08:16:27 AM »
I think it's wonderful Lisa, just how all-purpose it is!

You know, for those days when you get really tired of banging your head against those brick walls.

If only I'd known about this sooner, I would have bought up major stock in the company.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

 


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