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Author Topic: Dating Thread Part XXVII:Spring has Sprung...What do you plan to get done?  (Read 30121 times)

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Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Evening Ladies---

I am feeling bummed even though I am trying not to. I got news back on the car, in order for it to pass inspection it is going to need rotors, brake pads, and 4 new tires. I should be getting the clothing allowance from my case worker but I am now going to have to use that to pay for the rotors, brake pads, and the charge for him putting the damn car on the machine. I have been calling around for tires and I can't find any cheap ones. Even for used the cheapest is 300 bucks. I am almost in tears. I have tried to figure if I could wait it out and get it done next check day but not possible with me trying to move and the other bills. I just feel like fucking screaming.

Wishful, as far as section 8 goes, I am waiting for them to get back with me on when I can pick up my voucher which when I saw the lady she said 2 months. That would be about sometime in May I am hoping. I am also hoping that my landlord has closed on the house I am suppose to get. If not then I will have to look for another place though I was trying to keep my landlord because we communicate well and he does fix things when I call.

Betty, I was up early because I went to bed around 8 last night after having a few margaritas. I did get a nap in though. Oh, so I misunderstood about Cindy moving in with Ice. It figures, I have so much on my mind lately. I guess that is why I really haven't been commenting much unless asked something because I just can't think straight about now. This whole car thing has me twisted and is making me hate my life. I have bad credit so I can't get a loan and no one I could borrow the money from.

Blessed--- All I can say is if your man can't accept you having this virus then you need to move on. I am not even sure counseling would help.

That is it for me. I'll check in but if you don't see me for a few days, you know why... :-[ :-\ :'(
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Netta - Get well soon.  Sorry you hurt yourself.

Betty, Snow, Viv, Mum, Wishful, Drag, Blessed  Thank you. I took her home this afternoon. LOL had a hard time walking out the door.
But I know I'll sleep real good tonight. I slept in one of the spare bedrooms last night with her so Billy wouldn't get woke up. I'm a light sleeper so I hear every coo, fart and burp. She only needed to be tended to once at  4 am  but I was in bed later than usual and up and at um at 7 am as usual. I spent most of the night with her on my chest and me dozing off for and hour or so at a time at best.
Needless to say my hair looked like dookie today cause I didn't have the me time to fix it this morning LOL But I don't care. I don't have to look at it everyone else does.

Wishful I just cant wear white. I am a magnet for dirt and spills when I wear white.
LOL I love the clown makeup on your baby

Queen if you got the house would you have to mow that lawn? Sorry about the bad news with the car. Cars are nice to have but damn are they expensive to keep.

Blessed Gee makes me wonder if he really thinks he is a fool. He sure sounds like one bitching like that and him calling you fat and unattractive well hes not only a fool hes mean. Sorry you got the blues. I had post partum depression with my first son Aaron. Its horrible. I hope you get to feeling better soon. You just try to ignore your partners insensitive remarks and know you are perfect just the way you are and there would be plenty of men out there who would agree.


Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,413
Wish- Those are great pics of you and Boo.  That's what we called my oldest when he was little and when he was 4 made me stop  :-[ Just recently he said I could call him that again  ;D I am like Win(I think it was her?) and try to avoid white, I attract dirt, fingerprints, gummy bears on my butt.

Blessed-Nice to see you posting, sorry your man is putting you through so much EXTRA shit. You need to do what is best for you and the kids and with that said....if he is not going to support you 100%, you need to sit down and weigh all your options.  If his friends happen to find out and have a problem with it, then they are not true friends AND why should you take over 2 hours out of your time to do something that could easily be done in less than hour for just in case.  He should be caring about how you feel right now not about his friends. Your time is important too.  I remember how hard it was for me when my son was born and the exhaustion I felt getting through those 6 weeks of giving him meds...it is hard as fuck especially when it sounds like you are doing it all alone( I did too) but you will survive and everything will be fine.  I had this amazing fear everytime any of my kids had to get tested but it always worked out.  My sons father never gave him one dose, I showed him how to do it once and when I asked him to do it one night because I was exhausted he told me to fuck off, he had to work in the morning!  I think it would be really beneficial for you if you could find a therapist or someone through your local ASO to talk to.  That is what I did when I was having a hard time with my sons father and she helped to see what needed to be done and what was best for my son and I.  I am here if you ever need to talk.

QueenT-  Around here, if you go and get your inspection sticker and it fails, we get a rejection sticker that is good for 60 days till we fix whats broke.  Is that an option there?  Are you on SSI or disability, did you check to see if you qualify for that stimulus payment?  If you do, you can do your taxes on line for free, go to irs.gov something like that. 

Betty- Hope you had a good night at school.

Netta- How is the leg feeling today?

My back is killing me, I definately lifted "weigh" too much this weekend (ha,ha) ;D I love to jump into bed smelling like bengay, it gets my SO back for making me listen to all his CB radio static.  I blew one up one night because I hit the wrong but....Oops, my bad, you should of shut the shit off yourself.
Night all,
Snow

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Snow---

I never heard of a rejection sticker for an inspection. Yes, I am on SSI and have already mailed my stimulus info off but from what I am hearing no one is due to get anything back til May and they are going by the last 2 numbers of your social. And since mine is 71, I expect that I would get mine towards the end of May.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,938
Evening ladies:

Queen, I am so sorry you are going through all that extra stress about a car.  I'm not sure what to tell you to do, except maybe check out what Snow's talking about.  I don't know what the schedule is on the stimulus payment.  Maybe the irs website has it.  But yeah, I know they're supposed to be sent out in May. 

Wendy, I hope you're getting some sleep tonight.  Babies (especially grandkids) are wonderful, but they require so much attention and time, don't they.  Not that I would trade time spent with my grandkids for anything.  They're so much easier to spoil also, not having to deal with the after effects and all.

Snow, hee.  Love the story about the CB radio. 

School went alright tonight.  We got out early.  Only two more classes left and I'm on summer break.  Yee-ha.  Still no cigarettes ladies.  I'm feeling alright.  Still chewing on licorice when I feel like lighting up.  Physically it's not bad because of the patches.  It's the mental right now I'm trying to get through.   OK, I'm off to check out some more threads and go to bed.  Everyone have a good sleep.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,918
  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Its late and I am soooooo tired, but you girls crack me UP!  Thank goodness Betty has got part of it figured out, lol! 

Do you think I would so calmly state that I was moving in with Iceman, if that were the case?

HELL NO, GFs!  I would be shouting from the rooftops and would stay home from work another day just to post back and forth.  LOL  Iceman was merely saying that there was room for me (on the weekends) and I thought it was sweet of him.  I REALLY do hope that there are big plans for us in the future, but he has only been separated since Oct 1st and his kids are what's most important to me right now.  They are just little people, trying to adjust to Daddy not being in the house anymore.  I wouldn't want to do ANYTHING to make their lives more confusing right now.  I haven't met them, they don't even know about me, it would be just too much for Iceman and the kids right now, and I really, REALLY respect that.

OK, but the kicker from my speed reading here is this....and no offense, I thought it was hilarious!  (What you smokin', GF?....)  Read closely....LMAO   :D

That is nice you were able to find a new doc near your grandparents. 

Granddad died in Jan 2002 and Grandma died in Feb 2005.  The CEMETERY is near the new docs office! 

Snow, I hope you don't mind that I'm busting your chops, I think I hear my Grandmother giggling...... ;)

(BTW, the "consultant" works for our accountant, so when tax season is over, things will start happening at the office with regards to the work of two people that I am doing.  I'll keep you posted!)

More when I can pay full attention!  Oh, Queen, I ordered a FreeStyle Lite online last night for FREE.  My insurance covers the test strips, and I can just about afford them because ADAP covers the 6 other Rx's that I have.  Good luck with that meter!

~ Cindy

« Last Edit: April 08, 2008, 10:42:05 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline cjc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,011
  • Sweet Girl
Hello ladies. just got home from work and doing  a quick check in. I think I got good news tonight. My oldest son is being sent to a youth center here in NC instead of adult prison. I hope it will be better. It's still prison but they will teach him some skills and the max age there is 21.                                                                                             Blessed, sorry you are going through a rough patch .Hopefully it is just baby blues but if not then research your options and try to better the situation.                                                                                     Queen  ,sorry about the delay with the car. The house sounds great. I hope you get it. I appreciate you explaining  the grade difference with the weed. I upgraded to the midgrade but it's still only $70 for a fat O, I'm loving it.                                                           Betty, hope you kick the ciggies.  I know how hard it is to stop. I buy my jeans at Kmart right now. They have this brand that really fits me nicely and they are  $15. I will hit goodwill and look for some cute summer dresses. I like dresses  in the summertime.        Wishful, love your pictures.                                                                                               Everybody else, Dragonette, Moon, MM,hope you are doing well. Goodnight ladies. Cristy

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Damn, 70 an O, I need to move where you are, Christy. Good news about the oldest son, I am sure that is some type of relief to you. Cindy, my insurance covers the One Touch Ultra 2, my doc called in the script for it but I guess there is some special code that the pharmacy needs and obvious my doctor must not have known about or forgot about, one or the other. I guess I was jumping the gun with you and Ice. I actually forgot about the kids, you make a good point there.

Betty, I will check out the IRS site but I am pretty sure it is still may not anytime sooner, though I wish. Just when things were going good but I think I may still have the job I was talking about. I saw the guy at the store and he asked me was I still interested. I told him yeah and went over the date and time again to make sure we were on the same page. I'm not sure if I will get paid weekly or bi yet, I guess I will get the details on the 15th. Weekly would be nice but at this point I'll take what I can get and it is a job. Plus can't I skate on hours with SSI for the first nine months? Hmm, I am going to have to check out their site. If so, then I'll be working my ass off.

Still bummed but feeling a little better, not much, just a little... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dragonette

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,190
  • Spring symptoms
    • NotPerfectAtAll
morning ladies,

Cristy, that is good to hear about your son. 

Blessed my dear, without having met you, I am sure you are beautiful inside and out. Your hubbie needs to get over himself. I dont know if you let him know how much he's hurting you. i mean he should bloody well know, but sometimes people make comments that they don't hear. its awful that he is so ashmed that he wants you to go to a different clinic and not even tell your daughter. but i hope that despite these things he loves you and is a good partner generally. i hope so, otherwise you will feel like you have no one to turn to, and that's a horrible feeling. that's the last thing someone needs to feel in their home let alone with a new baby let alone with being poz... i hope you guys can find a reconcilliation whether by talking so someone or working it out.

Queen, good luck. I can't afford a car myself and never could... once in a while I rent one. But I understand in the US a car is an absolute essential. Maybe you could share the costs with a friend or something so they don't all fall on you?

I am hungry as a warewolf today, i dont know why. Cindy, I did read it as a hint that you should move in, sorry about the misunderstanding. Ice's kids will get used to the situation I am sure. i undestand its a sensitive matter but kids are used to their parents having new partners nowadays I guess.

Wishful great kids. are you wearing tinted lenses or did I imagine? you remind me of someone whose name escaped me, she was Miss USA and photographed for Playboy, she now plays in Ugly Betty. do you know who I mean?

Wendy I am so scared of becoming a mum for the sleepless nights and the endless overwhelminh responsibility. your stepson & wife are so lucky to have you as relief.

hi to everyone else that I skipped this time, have a great day

Catch you later ladies,

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,938
Morning ladies:

Cristy, that is great news about your son.  I hope they can help him turn his life around.  It's never too late until one's in the grave.

Queen, I hope the job works out for you.  That sure would make it a lot easier to get that car up and running.  Is the job within walking distance?

I'm extremely tired this morning and I'm not sure why.  Every time I quit smoking I get tired and when I talk to other people who have quit, they say they all got tired.  I don't know if it has to do with the lungs clearing out or what.  It seems like with getting more oxygen I'd have extra energy.  But no.  Wish, what is the name of that diet pill you're on that causes you to speed? (just kidding)

I really have nothing else to report right now.  I'm sure I'll be back later. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Yep, once again I am up bright and early. I guess it's because I have this car ordeal on my mind and that my case worker never put my clothing allowance on my card. I called her before I logged on here and actually caught her which was a surprise. She didn't add it because she said when I turned in the paper work I left one page blank. I thought I filled it all out but after she read it to me, I realized which one it was and the reason I left it blank. It had a few questions like....Why are you on welfare? My thoughts to not answering was because it is a job search and I don't consider myself getting welfare. Getting welfare to me is getting cash, all I get is stamps and medical..The other one was list the last 5 jobs, well shit, I have been on disability for the last 5 years, I could only remember the last job I had and I didn't know the exact start date so I left it blank. The other one was my social but she could've gotten that off her computer. But she filled them out as I spoke to her. She says she may be busy today so the money may not show up on my card til Friday now. I guess I should be grateful that she finished it over the phone, she could've been an ass and made me come to the office. I guess it was my fault. Now I am second guessing whether I filled out my stimulus information right. Geez, I hope so.

I feel like such a hot mess right now. Paperwork fucked up, hair turned out terrible and my glucometer wasn't ready yesterday. Can something please go my way?!? I'm frustrated and flustered about now. I am going back to sleep, I will check back in later.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Blessed1974

  • Member
  • Posts: 92
  • Time waits for no one so don't dream life live it!
Goodmorning Ladies :)

I just wrote this really long and well thought out post and lost it all :(

Well thanks to everyone for all the good feedback on my rant from yesterday.  I really needed to get alot of things off my chest.  I was feeling very alone and you all made me feel like I had real friends in my corner.

I also wanted to follow Wish and post some pictures of my allstar team ;)  I can't believe Jordan is 8 weeks already and Wish you are right I love to be able to finally say my son.  Netta, I hope you're feeling better.



[attachment deleted by admin]

Offline Dragonette

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,190
  • Spring symptoms
    • NotPerfectAtAll
aaawww how sweet (coos at screen)
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Blessed1974

  • Member
  • Posts: 92
  • Time waits for no one so don't dream life live it!
I wasn't able to post all the pics together because I reached the limit .  .  .  these are the twins

[attachment deleted by admin]

Offline Blessed1974

  • Member
  • Posts: 92
  • Time waits for no one so don't dream life live it!
I wasn't able to post all the pics together because I reached the limit .  .  .  these are the 2 oldest

[attachment deleted by admin]

Offline netta

  • Member
  • Posts: 396
Hi ladies, Blessed, your kid are beautiful!!,
i am ok, feeling better, no broken bones.i heard from James my man friend who lives here in Va. I hope to see him soon, he is just getting back from Italy, the navy has him busy. He is in Calif and hope to be home in VA on Friday. I know i will feel better when i see him, I have been a little down,I  think its cause I have had no contact with my friend James, I miss his hugs and kisses. i feel so strange sometimes even though I have been by myself for six years now(since divorce) I  don't have any contact with a man, and i can't remember the last time i had sex,oh it was once this year with a poz man, but that didn't turn into a relationship, just a fuck, so now what? I am hoping James and I can take things to the next level, sex!!he really turns me on,remember he is not poz ,so I am being patient and going slowly, also His divorce is final the end of the month.Well I hope everyone is OK. Wish ful you are so pretty! Queen hang in there, happy about ur section 8,Betty , u go girl, no smoking!! Snow,Mom,Drag , Win, Moon Cj, HOLLA!! everyone else much love.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2008, 01:37:18 PM by netta »
"to thine own self be true"

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,938
Afternoon ladies:

Queen, I haven't worked since like 1992.  Well, except for that stupid telemarketing job I did for like a month last year.  So, if someone wants references from my past jobs, all I have to say is good luck!  I would check with social security for sure about the work thing.  They change the amount one can make every year I think.  I'm pretty sure you're alright for nine months regardless of what the amount is, but when it comes to government stuff, I always feel more comfortable telling the person to check just to make sure.   I've never heard of clothing allowance from the state.  That goes on your food stamp card? 

Blessed, omg!  Your kids are so adorable.  I whole-heartedly meant what I said about the jackass you're living with.  Do not sell yourself short.  None of us 'need' a man (or woman).

Netta, good luck with James.  He sounds like he might be just the ticket you need.  Well, before I (finally) got laid this year, it had been about 3 years since I had had sex.  Now, I'm getting pretty lucky.  I get laid about every 2-3 weeks.  It's with someone who's poz, though.  The negative men I've been with since my diagnosis have all known and they all refused to wear a condom.  And they all tested negative.  I'm not saying that's the way to go for everyone.  You'll know what to do when the time is right, I'm sure.  I'm so glad you're feeling better with that sprain.  Are you still on crutches?

I haven't done jack today, nada, zilch.  I took a nap, got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth and that's been the extent of my day.  I will probably fix lunch and take another nap.  I'm so tired.  Still no smokes though.  I had a horrendous craving earlier.  All I could think of was how much better life is inhaling on a cigarette.  But it passed.  That's what I keep telling myself when I have those cravings-'it'll pass.'  And it does.  I just hope it gets easier. 

I hope everyone's having a good afternoon.  It's cold here today-only like 40 and grey. So it's a good day to nap. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline wishful

  • Member
  • Posts: 342
  • I am pretty content nowadays..Life is gud..
Netta:Thanks for the compliment!..Glad to  hear youre feeling better and have nothing broken..

Blessed: what a beautiful natural family you have!...Keep your head up, everything will work out for the better..you'll see..

Drag: Do u mean Vanessa Williams??? Wow..what a compliment..Thanks...I have never heard that one b4..i get stuff like Wanda Sykes (the comedian), ciara, and yo-yo (a rapper from the 80's)...but yes ma'am i wear contacts..and glasses too..im blind as a bat without them.. :D

CJC: where u at girl??..thats a steal!! (70 an O)lol

Queen: Well Pa is def faster than nj on their section 8...i cant wait for things to start goin right for you as well..sheesh...enough is a enough already damn! And that worker of yours coulda called you and let u know instead of u having to call her...they kill me...Patience honey, its gonna be all good soon...

Moon:: My bad !! I started that lil rumor..lol..i just took what u said n ran with it... ;) oh yeah leave snow alone!!

Betty: Now u know u dont want no parts of them adipex!!...u have been exercisin n stuff tho..so that could be why your tired..body has to get used to that..Well hopefully youre feeling better by now..How many grands do u have??

Snow: i call my son Mootus..i have been calling him that since he was in my womb..lol he tries to change his name tho, he says his name is Alex...so his friends call him Alex...sometimes i wanna change his name for eal..since he is a jr...oh yeah they do rej stickers here in nj too..well u get a pink thing to stick to ur window until u have the repairs done and pass..but u can still drive...

Ok gf's..i guess that is all for now...Shout to everyone, hope all is well..toodle Loo..(where the hell did that come from)..lol
« Last Edit: April 09, 2008, 02:21:59 PM by wishful »
Live life to the fullest...

Offline keepingfaith

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Everyone is posting pics of the children. Here is my king and queen.


This is when she was 9months and he was 7. They are 8 and 20 months now. Everytime I try to put the new ones in it says to large.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2008, 06:08:32 PM by keepingfaith »

Offline Dragonette

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Betty dont worry about being tired, its your body recovering. plus nicotine is a stimulant. you will feel better - no way is dealing with smoke easy on your body. hope you have sweet dreams
Everyone's kids are so gorgeous! I wish I had pics of kids to post, well I have but only of a friend's kid. here's Vanessa Williams instead. see what I mean?  there is definately something that reminded me. the hair, the eyes, the skin, the smile, even dressed the same. if you click to enlarge both pics its more apparent

[attachment deleted by admin]
« Last Edit: April 09, 2008, 05:08:52 PM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Nothing going on. I decided to blog about being frustrated and the car. Of course, there were comments from the peanut gallery who had to mention me smoking weed. Saying if I stopped smoking weed I would have the money for my car. Like I sit here and smoke ounces. What I do smoke wouldn't even amount to the cost of the tire and they seem to think that I smoke for recreation which I don't. I smoke so I can eat. I guess I am suppose to stop smoking and starve. But hey, I'll be drug free and have tires. I'll also probably land up in the hospital but do they consider that? Of course not, it is better to be judgmental assholes. I really hate people sometimes.

I see you ladies have some gorgeous kids. I would post a pic of my son but you never know who might see it. If he shows up, I'll ask if he minds. Wishful, yeah, patience is definitely not one of my strong suits and everything seems to be up in the air. Capricorns don't like instability and we like to be in control and I definitely do not feel in control. I feel like I am being led by a carrot in front of me.

Yeah, Betty, I am going to check the SSI website for sure but I think it is nine months I can skate too. But it amazed me that my case worker actually thought I would remember the dates and the last 5 jobs. I can remember 3 but I didn't see the point of mentioning them if I didn't know the dates. Every 2 steps forward I get pushed 4 steps back or at least that is how it feels.

Snow---- Thanks. I finally got them and it made my day. I am wearing it now.

I am waiting on my son to show up so I can go grocery shopping. Nothing else going on. Maybe I'll peek in later.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Winiroo

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Snow---
I am hearing no one is due to get anything back til May and they are going by the last 2 numbers of your social. And since mine is 71, I expect that I would get mine towards the end of May.

Neener neener! na na na na na  mine ends with 01

LOL

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Neener neener! na na na na na  mine ends with 01

LOL

Ugh!!! So does my roomie and my friend's bf. I guess when you guys are broke I'll have some money... ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline sunseeker

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Hi Girls

First I just want to say that I miss all of your girls.  I am doing well, but work has been kicking my butt.  12 hour days and trying to fit Whitey in the mix of things.  Yes, Whitey is still around and I did disclose to him and so far so good.  We, have not been intimate as far as consummating our relationship but I have used the lords name in vein on several occasions, or should I say every time we are together.  So not sure why we have not consummated or relationship but I figure it will happen when it does.  No sure if its because he is wanting to take things slow or if its because of his Christian back ground or because of my status.  I figure it will happen when it happens and I am just going with the flow.  I met his parents on Sunday so I assume that things are moving in the right direction.  Normally I would question by now why I have never spent the night at his house or "slept" with him but to me it really has not been a big deal.  So right now I am in a good place with him  Last night we went to Bon Jovi and had a blast.  He was great, always holding my hand, kissing me and holding me tight when all of the slow songs came on.  Bon Jovi was great and Doughtery opened for him, in fact I saw them twice in a week.     I hope for him to meet my parents soon and its nice that his son loves me and he will only eat broccoli for me, not his dad, mom or grandma.  So I think that I am in like Flynn.


Well, I have said I have been working 12 hour days with little time to get anything done.  I want to let you ladies know that I miss you and have been keeping up with your posts and I am sorry that I cannot address each one of you right now, since I have to go back to work.  I love all of the pictures you guys have posted and all I can say is that we have a group of hot ladies in this forum.  Welcome to all of the new members and look forward to getting to know all of you when time allows.  By for now.  Be good or bad, if bad is better and stay healthy. 


xoxoxo

Offline minismom

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Good evening sweeties!  Our wireless network thingy was down all day today and just came up a while ago.  I gotta make this quick and I KNOW I'm not going to get to everyone.  I'm sorry and I still love you LOTS and LOTS!

Blessed, your kids are beautiful!  What an awesome crew you have!  How old are your girls?  I can't believe your little man is 2mths old. He has more hair at 8wks old than Mini did at, well, 2yrs old.

Queen, sorry about your car.  I know how frustrating that is.  What about the job prospects, how are they coming along?  Do you have your new apartment, yet?  Stupid, white-girl question: is sewing-in hair the same as a weave?

BT, my darling, I am so proud of you for not smoking.  Giving in to cravings would be easy, but it woudn't be best.  You're tough and prove it everyday.  I admire you so much.

Winn, you crack me up.  How have you been feeling?  Any better?

Hubby has put on "Troy" and looks like he needs some cuddlin'.  He brought home a death by chocolate blizzard, so the least i can do is cuddle up with him on the couch until his arm falls asleep and he makes me get up. :P

Loads of love for each and every one of you!  My thoughts and continued prayers are with you all - always.

Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Nice to hear from you Sun, I thought we had lost you!

I can't reply to all of the posts, there is no way.  Its tax time and I am still everyone's "bitch" at the office.  I get all of the extra filing and stupid work to do in addition to settling accounts and getting bills paid.  The company I work for is huge, so its no easy task.  My manager had a sit-down with me today to see how "things were going."  I hate to say this but I think she really wanted to just tell me to do things her way.  Ugh.  Its tax time and she is stressed beyond belief, but if I am the only other person in there with a 3-digit IQ, why question how I get things done?

I know, I shouldn't bitch, but the amount of work they are having me do is horrendous!  Oh, and YES, I am getting it all done.  I don't see how anyone could, so I am tooting my own horn here.  There's some big meeting for the entire company (about 40 of us) on Monday.  Its with the two owners, so hopefully something is going down with the consultant we had in here.

Things have just GOT to change.  I am doing mindless work that takes up way too much time in an outdated environment.  I can't wait until I can use my smarts even more to better the company.

OK, I'm done now.  Off to shower and off to bed.  By 9pm.  I almost didn't make it to and from work today due to not sleeping well and incredible fatigue.

Gotta go.  Love you all.

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Snowangel

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UUGghhh! I had a whole long post I did before we went to cub scouts and I guess it never posted...maybe cuz I was trying to add in a pic of my oldest.

Oh well.  Wish, Keeping and Blessed- all of your children are precious and beautiful!!  I had it broken down for everyone before but I am too tired to do it again.

Hope everyone has a good night!!!

Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline minismom

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I forgot to tell you, #6 is having her hearing tested tomorrow morning - and Hubby is turning 41!

Thanks Snow and Cindy for making me not feel lazy. ;)

Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Snowangel

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Good Luck with the hearing test and Hippo Birdies to your hubby!
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline camille07

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Hello girls-

Glad to hear from you sunseeker.  I've been logging in but not writing very much.  I've had a alot of challenges lately and just feel burnt when I log on.  In nut shell, my job is incredibly stressful, the guy broke up with me again (didn't see it coming), blah blah blah.  I just want to cry to be honest.  


Offline BT65

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Good evening ladies:

Snow, OMG!  I love the necklace!  Thank you so very, very much.  That was extremely thoughtful.

Camms, I'm so sorry about that guy.  If he comes back around, I certainly wouldn't give him even the time of day.  Fuck 'em, feed 'em shit.  You're a strong woman.  If you need to cry, cry.  Let it all out.

Queen, you know, no matter what you do, there's always someone wagging their fuckin' finger.  Let them try to live a day in your shoes and see what they would be doing. 

Mum, tell hubby big 'happy birthday' from me!  And tell him he's very, very lucky you didn't stab him with the fork the other night when you all were at Ihop (hee).  Did you get him a cologne?  What kind?  I'm dying to know.

Sun, it's good to hear from you.  I don't know what to say about Whitey.  Have you told him you would like to have sex?   Just be blunt.  That's what I would do, at least.

Cin, I hope you get some rest.

OK ladies, still no cigarettes.  I can't believe it.  I think I'm going through some of the psychological moodiness though.  The only time I went outside the house today was to get the mail.  I've had my curtains pulled all day.  Not from depression, just from having a fuck-it attitude.  I know it will pass.  I just wish it would hurry up already!

I have nothing planned tomorrow either.  I'm hoping to talk to my renter's insurance man about switching my car insurance from Safe Auto to his agency (which is Statefarm).  Mainly because of what Queen said about her bad experience with Safe Auto.  But, of course, tomorrow may come and I may not call the agent.   Pretty soon it will be time to purchase a new air conditioner.  I'm hoping to find one cheap.  I only have an efficiency, so it won't take much.  Damn, I hate spending money on things I need sometimes and would rather just spend it on things I want.  Oh well.  Maybe I'll play the lotto sometime and strike it rich, or meet an extremely wealthy woman, or something, damn.  Have a good one ladies-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Well damn Camms. It's good to hear from you even if for a second, the same with you, Sun. Sorry to hear about Spencer and that things are stressful at work. Get back to us when you feel up to it.

Sun, like I said, good to hear from you and glad to see Whitey is still around. I bet your paychecks are looking lovely from all the work you are putting in. Keep us posted.

Mum-- Yes, sew in is weave. I usually keep it in my hair because I can't do anything with my own. My hair won't hold a curl, I don't care what you put in it. So, usually I am sporting a ponytail when it is not done. I have the interview with the job on the 15th and I am stressing because the weave didn't turn out right. I will be taking it all down and trying again over the weekend. I have not heard back yet from my landlord about the house, I will probably give him a call tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Still no solutions with the car because what money I will get from case worker that was suppose to go on clothes now has to go to the car...BUMMER and I am still short getting everything done to make it legal. The only thing I would be able to get would be a pink slip when I get the title transfered which will only give me 10 days to drive it illegally and I still won't have any money in 10 days. Unless I come across a blessing like you did, the brakes and rotors will get fixed but I will still be without tires or the money to get the title transfer done until my next check or stimulus check comes. And my next check may be tied up if I get the house with moving and stuff. And the stimulus check may come around May 9th if they are on time.

Cindy, You would think your boss would be happy that you are doing such a good job instead of bitching at you about it. I don't understand that at all.

I am off to play my game for a few before I go soak in the tub. Chat with you girls later.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dragonette

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'Morning,

I am achecking in b4 going to get my bloods drawn. since I have been at the hospital, for around 2 years, they have switched the location of the ID unit 3 times. First we were in a cozy little corner in a side corridor. OK, if someone happened to pass there who was working at the hospital they would know why you're there. But very few people did and they were all staff. Next, they moved us to a big hall with lots of reception desks for different units. The people sit together in a kind of a scrambled lobby, we were in the back next to hematology and diabetes, the sign "infectious diseases" was facing the back. People around might notice where you're registering, might wonder what "infectious diseases" mean (kind of ironic since so many diseases are waaayyyy waaayyy more infectious), but overall we had privacy, and at least those people were fellow patients. Now though, they moved us near the entrance to that complex, right between 2 huge windows bordering the main corridor of the whole hospital, the sign can be clearly seen from that "street", we have to sit not in corners but lined up like in front of a judge, and when you sit in front of the secretary everyone can see you. I really resent that. The other day I noticed a gay couple staring at me right through the glass from where they were sitting. i don't mind strangers so much but I know a lot of people at the hospital and so does my BF. Not just doctors, whose discretion I'd like to think I trust, but lots of researchers doing even non medical research. There are lots of people I know casually from work, might not even know their name but they recognize me and so do I, the last thing I want to do is sit in that frigging aquarium and wait for them to pass by. It's bad enough that everytime I'm at the hospital I meet people I know and have to make small talk.

*** end rant ***

Mom, hope you're son's hearing test will be good. What happens with #6? how is she doing? With all the health problems, I guess it's lucky your kids are homeschooled otherwise they'd bring in on top all the REAL infectious diseases from school.

Queen, it's very easy for people to say what's wrong with other people's lives. I'm not talking about child abuse or something horrendous and obvious. Just think that with a change of country you're be toking away peacefully and legally. In fact, even in Israel, where weed is still illegal and will probabaly stay that way, you can get medical prescribed very easily if you're poz, and we had it suggested by the ASO to help with the procedure for anyone intersted.  I'm not supporting that everyone smoke or anything but people can forget that they are not perfect either, if it was legal they'd have nothing to say.

Betty, isn't it great when you quit smoking and you start to smell everything?

Sun, GREAT NEWS. Im so happy discolsure worked out for ya. I am sure W will come round sexually. I know with BF sex took longer than with any other man. There was a barrier and no denying. I suggest you go talk to a councellor or something, I preferred not to be the only voice of authority, and printouts from the net are not as reassuring as a professional. Can be just someone from the ASO or clinic. Just an idea. Now our sex life is just wow, so give it time...

Camms, sorry things didn't work out and work is a pain. Hope to see you more here, you're a great gal and he is a wuss. Im not saying that b/c he wont be with a pozzie - I resent that but have to respect other people - but all this see saw behavior, warm-cold, I hate guys like that and always have. UUUrrgh. Im sure there're many charming things about him and thats the problem... (((Camms)))

I will check in later, hugs to anyone I didn't mention, must get dressed and jump on bike




"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline minismom

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Just a quick check in before I jump in the shower to make myself smell good before heading off to the hearing clinic.  The appointment isn't until 9:45, but we have to leave at 8:15 to make the big ol' trekk.  I'll let you all know how she does.  I'm just really tired of doctors telling me that my 4yr old who isn't potty trained, doesn't talk, weighs 26lbs, has a head circumfrance the size of a newborn, very slanted eyes, straight palmer creases (both "signs" of Down's Syndrome), skin that literally peels off and leaves huge sores all over her, barely eats anything, is deaf in her right ear, and has no periphreal vision in her right eye...is TOTALLY normal and age-appropriate.  If that were true, I sure as hell feel sorry for people who DO have issues!  Then, they (docs) look at me like I'm the one who's crazy.

OK, enough ranting.  I need to run take a shower and grab some breakfast before taking off.

Mum

Oh, wait, Betty, I didnt' get him any cologne because i still can't smell anything.  I tried a few "spray the air, swipe your arm through the mist, and smell" test.  I wound up smelling like I'd been with 10 different men and sneezed the rest of the day.  I had cologne all over both arms and couldn't remember what I'd sprayed where.  I'll either wait until i can smell, or let Hubby go and pick something out.  In the meantime, he got new running shoes, and 3 new summer outfits.  I'm baking his favorite cake - pineapple upsidedown cake, and tomorrow morning, I'll make him his favorite breakfast: homemade biscuits, homemade sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, and potatoes. 

www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline BT65

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Morning ladies:

Mum, everytime I read one of your posts, I swear my trip to your house gets closer and closer. ;)  That homemade biscuits & gravy sounds so good.  They make that at our local Farmer's Market and it's heavenly.  I could never make it; well, I suppose I could, just never knew how.  My 2nd ex (husband) used to make it though, and it was actually quite good.  He was a good cook.  Pity he decided to go back on drugs and clean out my bank acct.  I might have kept him around just for his cooking (no, I wouldn't have done that I guess).  I hope everything goes good with the hearing test.  Please let us know how it goes.  I didn't realize your 4 yr old has so many problems.  How do you cope with taking care of all those with such patience? 

Drag, oh, I don't know how I would handle everyone coming in the lab knowing why I was there.  I suppose I wouldn't really care, but that's me.  How long does it take there for you to get your results back? 

It's grey/freezing here today.  And it's supposed to snow this weekend.  I am so over that.  But, they say it's supposed to be the last of the snow.  How do they know these things?  Do they have some sort of crystal ball?

Well, last night I really went all-hog with food.  I ate some strawberry shortcake, a Twinkie, some licorice, a chocolate-covered cherry, and some bbq baked beans.  All within two hours of each other.  When I got up today, my blood sugar was 343!  I have got to stop doing that.  I've been so good; not sure what brought all that on last night.  Well, I was in kind of a bad mood yesterday.  (psychological withdrawal from cigs)  Ok, I'll blame it on that and try not to do it again. 

I have nothing to do today except to go to the store at some point and get some milk.  So, I'll be checking back in later ladies.  Take care.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Queen Tokelove

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I am really in a bitchy mood today. I guess it started when I checked my card and my allowance still wasn't there. I called my case worker and actually reached her which has been happening since I had called her on Monday. After going over my papers on the phone yesterday, I really expected the money to be there. She got snippy with me on the phone saying she is going as fast as she can. But considering I talked to her yesterday with the papers in front of her, what is the problem with putting it in the computer? I reminded her that my interview was on Tuesday and that she is off on Fridays, what is it going to be there on Monday?

Then to keep from whining and bitching all the time here, I go to express myself in my blog to have to put up with judgmental assholes who seems to have such a great life with no problems or obstacles to sit there and tell me I am using the system. I need to quit smoking weed (which I have explained numerous times, it helps me to eat) which I suppose I am suppose to stop, not eat and just die. I guess that would solve my problems, wouldn't it? If I am dead, there would be no need for the allowance, car, or weed. I am wrong to take the allowance and use it for the car instead of clothes, which I was trying to put the money to the best possible use...ie...money gets the car fixed which would solve my problem with getting to the grocery store,missing doctor appointments, considering when I move, I will be further away from the job should I get it and if I get the job, it would help me with my gas bill and getting clothes. What other options do I have?

I am just getting to the point I feel like saying fuck it and just forget it all. Be a bum, get high off of something else other than weed, be totally irresponsible, be evicted and living on the streets. I am trying to do the best I possibly can and am being crucified for asking for help from government agencies, being blamed because I have cable, internet, and a high ass gas bill. Everything is my fault and I deserve what I get. Maybe I should just take my next disability check and just start selling drugs since I am so wrong for trying to go about things the right way or so I thought!!!! >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Queen, FUCK THE ASSHOLES!  They don't have to walk one day in your shoes.  There's nothing wrong with wanting help from the government agencies.  And I have cable, phone and internet.  And you know what?  I don't give a flying fuck who thinks that's wrong.  As for you smoking reefer, that's your decision.  I don't hear you complaining that you're out of money b/c of spending it all on pot.  Those fuckers who are responding to your blog can just go jump off a cliff as far as I'm concerned.

And please don't think about selling drugs.  You know as well as I do, you can have it all and lose it all just as easy.  I don't want to have to come down there and kick your royal ass! 

Girl, just hang in there.  Just when things seem to be going into the shitter, a little ray of sun will come shining through.  We're here for you, you know that.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline camille07

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Queen keep your chin up.  Tomorrow's a new day.  I know, cause I'm telling myself the same the thing.  Work is sooo freaking awful.  They're making it really difficult for me, they want me to quit cause they want to outsource my jobs and save the company money.  For some of the new folks, I've been with the company for 5 years and recently, our parent company (we're a subsidiary of a japanese company)  came in, fired my boss and president and brought in a japanese guy who is really prick.  It's so awful that my new co worker and friend,  (who is also japanese) just found a new job cause the lack of communication and the boss's attitude is so disrespectful.  The office moved from a twenty minute commute to an hour each way.  Sheesh I have to get approval if I want to pick my ass.  The stress is unreal.  Good news is that I have a job interview that literally came my way today and its for a great company.  Half the distance, better pay, and really hip and upbeat environment.  I'm spending the weekend working on my portfolio, but they loved my resume and background. Whew.
Pray for me girls!

As for the Spencer, he's not afraid of the hiv, he's way past that.  Its that he got freaked out when he thought I was gonna break up with him, which I wasn't, I just said I needed to talk to him on wednesday night. The next day I got an email from him saying that he was saving me the trouble.  He is scared to death to be in love because he is in the middle of a nasty divorce. I tried to explain to him but he won't listen.  He broke up with me in a friggin email cause he said he would be too upset to see me.(how lame and disrepectful)  It was a shock.  We had plans to do great things this summer and had just came down from a fantastic weekend.  I didn't see it happening.
I want so desperately to talk to him but I'm not contacting him.  He wants space and he's afraid? Geesh he can have it.

I'm really glad to have you guys tonight.  I'm alone.  Just dropped my soon to be exhusband/ roommate off at the airport.  Sometimes when you feel so crappy its hard to talk to friends.  But writing is a good catalyst and its comforting that there are people listening.

Oh Queen, you'd love this...the ex is going to amsterdam for a concert, but his main objective is the toke and brownies.  Perfect trip for you:)
 







Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Sometimes when you feel so crappy its hard to talk to friends. 


Exactly.

Exactly.

Damn.

I hate it when men insist on being enigmas. Pain in the ass which I could do with out.

And I hate being inarticulate as a result.

Damn
Damn and more
Damn.

Just wish it were THE DAM.
That'd be nice.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline minismom

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I'm gonna get some business out of the way real quick.  First, Betty my darlin', you are welcome in our home any time.  I will feed you until you are about to explode and then whenever you are ready to leave, I'll send you home a freezer-full of doggy bags.  Second, Queen, my other darlin', I understand exactly where you are coming from.  We catch crap all the time and get accused of "living off of our kids' disabilities".  It used to make me start to second guess the decisions that Hubby and I have made.  But, when we look at the alternatives, we are doing the absolute best that we can with what we have.  People do not live in your shoes or mine.  If they did, I defy them to honestly be able to do things much differently.

Ok, business is now over.

All members of the T.B. Theatrical Chior, let us raise our voices in one accord and sing: SMACK THE MONKEY AND PAINT ME PURPLE!  Mum is NOT crazy, she is NOT dreaming, she is NOT making things up, and she is NOT some off the wall hyterical female!  Ok, hold on, I do tend in rare moments to be hysterical.  But, read my avitar: Hysterical is the new calm.  Resume singing in 4-part harmony (big finish): DOCTORS DON'T KNOW JACK SQUAT!!!!!!!!!!!  *standing ovation - everyone bow*

#4's hearing test came back that her hearing has gotten worse in her right ear.  Her ABR showed that she had loss in high frequencies.  Her tests today showed that she has a loss acrossed ALL frequencies.  That's why she's putting speakers up to her ears - DUH! And why she doesn't always respond when we call her - DUH!  She's not ignoring us and she's not trying to be cute (as suggested by her pediatrician).  SHE CAN'T HEAR!  She's also starting to show signs of loss in her left ear.  Last test, her left ear had perfect hearing.  So, we go back again in 3mths, after we see the eye specialist, to discuss whether or not to aid her right ear.  I'm now taking bets on who's going to win that debate ;D

Also, written in the ENT's own handwritting, she was FINALLY properly diagnosed with microcephally - something, again, that her pediatrician argued that she didn't have. SHAZAM! Yes, i got a copy of it and yes the soon to be ex-pediatrician is going to get a copy.

Love to all my sweeties!
Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Ann

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Hi Mum,

Microcephaly, eh? That's a pretty heavy diagnosis. Was her bio-mother an alcoholic? At least you've finally got a diagnosis.

It's a shame that the docs haven't been more on top of things from the beginning, but thank goodness these kids have got a rottweiler in their corner like you. And I mean that with absolute affection.  :-*
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline minismom

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Bio-lady did drugs and drank while she was pregnant.  She also has an IQ in the low 60's.  From day 1 I've been asking the pediatrician, geneticist, and neurologist, if she had microcephally.  The geneticist said she can't have it because she has FAS, but sent us to neuro.  Neuro said she can't have microcephally and was doubtful of the FAS diagnosis and sent us to a psychologist who refused to see #4 because she was already diagnosed with FAS and therefore couldn't possibly have anything else. 

Then I read the report which said #4 has the "potential" of FAS.  So, we went back to the psychologist who said that having the "potential" for something means you have it.  I said,"Fine, then when i come to the office today, I have the 'potential' of being run over by you in the parking lot.  So, are you going to write me a check now, or are we going to end up in court?"  She still refused to see #4.  The pediatrician subsequently has refused to make a referral to ANYONE other than the idiot who refuses to see her.

So, yeah, after dealing with this for 4 years, someone finally took me seriously.  Microcephally is defined as someone who's head circumfrance is 3 standard deviations below normal. A person can either be born with the deviation or obtain the deviation when the head doesn't grow or develope properly.  Her's has been below 3 standard diviations since she was born.  She also only weighs about 26lbs.  Now, if we can get someone to figure out why her skin keeps peeling off of her body, I'd be one happy mum .

Thanks for the compliment, Ann. ;D  It's good to hear from you.
Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Queen, FUCK THE ASSHOLES!  They don't have to walk one day in your shoes.  There's nothing wrong with wanting help from the government agencies.  And I have cable, phone and internet.  And you know what?  I don't give a flying fuck who thinks that's wrong.  As for you smoking reefer, that's your decision.  I don't hear you complaining that you're out of money b/c of spending it all on pot.  Those fuckers who are responding to your blog can just go jump off a cliff as far as I'm concerned.

And please don't think about selling drugs.  You know as well as I do, you can have it all and lose it all just as easy.  I don't want to have to come down there and kick your royal ass! 

Girl, just hang in there.  Just when things seem to be going into the shitter, a little ray of sun will come shining through.  We're here for you, you know that.

Thanks for the support, Betty, Mum, and Keeping. I have also heard that one of the people who left an ignorant comment in my blog is someone from the forums that I thought was a friend. It just amazes me that this person would hide behind another alias instead of being a man and using the one I am familiar with here.If I told you guys who it was, you'd shit your pants because most people adore him on here.Let's just say if he was a real pastor, he'd be a hypocrite like the rest of the Bible thumpers I know.

 Believe it or not, pot is the last thing I buy after paying all my bills. But like I said before, it is to help me eat. I don't see why people get their ass on their shoulders for me smoking it. I never once tried to front and say I smoke just to eat, I admitted when I first started smoking, it was recreational( I was 15 when I smoked my first joint) but why is it so hard to accept that I have to smoke it in order to survive? And if my doctor does not have a problem with me smoking why the hell should anyone else?

I have really lost my faith in the rest of the forum because of this person. So, I will no longer comment in other areas of the forum and just keep my comments for you ladies here and my blog.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline minismom

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Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry people are acting like, well,...people.  I don't know how else to put it.  People are all, eventually, going to disappoint you. I'm just sorry that it had to be done in such a public, and sneaky, way.  You don't have to explain yourself here, hun.  More than on one occasion, I've questioned whether I should just stick to this forum and PM the resident "med specialist" when I have specific questions.  I don't have to be where you are, hun, to know where you're coming from.  And, believe me, i do, on so many levels.

Stay strong, sweetie, and to hell with the begrudgers!  If there is anything in this world that I can do for you, please do NOT hesitate to let me know.

Lots of love,
Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline BT65

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Queen, I'm getting a feeling from what you said about 'if this person were really a pastor' who it might be.  I would be highly disappointed if it were the person I'm thinking of.  And believe me, that would be the pot calling the kettle.  Girl, you just hang in there.  You know how much we love you.

Mum, well, I'm glad you finally got the hearing thing taken care of and that someone finally listened to you.  I haven't a clue what would cause skin to peel off like that.  Maybe a good dermatologist would be able to tell you? 

Camm, I am so, so sorry about Spencer.  But I am glad you have a new job prospect.  Please let us know how it goes.  We're here for ya.

Nothing to report here.  I did find a copy of "Silence of the Lambs" today for $6.00 at a local record store.  Still no smoking ladies.  I'm tempted a lot, but I'm really trying.  Everyone have a good sleep.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline cjc

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Queen, I just had to post and tell you not to let those judgemental people get to you. It's your life and you are entitled to live it as you best see fit.      I will post more soon. Cristy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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I appreciate the support from you ladies( Betty, Mum, Christy, Camms), it means a lot to me. I guess you are right in your estimation of people, Mum. I will continue to get disappointed because I expect too much from people I guess.

Betty, I think you are on point on who I was speaking on. I kept reading the comments between the two guys arguing and I got an IM from someone on Yahoo that confirmed it. I don't feel the need to PM this person for any reason on the subject, it's just a shame that he couldn't be a man and use the name I'm familiar with. It is because of this person that I have decided to leave the rest of the forums alone and dwell here with you ladies. I was tempted to stop blogging but I changed my mind on that. When I started I knew I was bound to get some criticism and I know there are people out there who can relate to what I am going through even if they don't comment. It also helps me to be able to vent and put my thoughts out there. And in a way it is me coming out about being poz. I have a friend here who knows about my blog, reads it, and is proud of me for being open. He also told me because of talking to me when he was first diagnosed, I saved his life. So, now without a doubt, I know I have helped somebody. Have a good night ladies. I am off to do some killing in Warcraft.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dragonette

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Queen, when you're feeling down, remember it's only a couple of people(havent checked your blog but I assume) who criticize. Out of thousands who use this forum. Being online and being honest, and not pretentious, you are subject to this sort of thing. Take it with a grain of salt. I know easier said than done, but I have been insulted by forum members too on certain occasions and couldnt shake it. I finally realized that all sorts of people behind the screen put on all sorts of personas. Like I already wrote you, in my 2 countries, you'd have no problem getting weed, most probabaly your national health insurance would even pay for it.

Camms, OMG. Hope things work out with your job. Having worked in Japan, Japanese male managers are nuts, call me racist I don't care, they are nuts, and I could tell you some funny (or tragic) stories. I love Japan, but I would never live there again (HIV notwithstanding) b/c of the crazy freaky anal chavinist alcoholic hyper competetive Japanese men. I'd like to visit though. The women are lovely and it's an astonishing country. Even if it doesnt work out now, you can find another job. Dont give it to pressure, remember the new boss is likely to die at his desk from stress and exauhstion. Also known as "karoshi"  ;D. so next time he bullies you, just feel sorry for him...
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C0CE3DA173EF93AA25750C0A966958260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all

About Spencer, don't like wimpy see saw men. Dont like it when people are unpredictable like the wind, life is too short. You will find someone as lively as yourself, and you'll look back one day and be amazed at all the heartache. Though it doesnt seem believable now. Seriously I used to be suicidal about guys and humiliate myself in a million ways and now I think WHAT? over HIM?

Cindy, hows work going, bet youre looking forward to the weeked like an oasis... only 1 day to go.

Mom I never got why your family doesnt recieve better and organized care. Its a shame you have to fight and fight. then people say you should be working, how can you work when you take care of all this? just the beaurocracy is fulltime work.

I feel sad for your girl about her diagnosis, still a correct diagnosis is better than inexplicable symptoms, I do trust that she is in the best hands and you will make the best of it.


well that's it for now, gotta go

have a good one ladies,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

tendai

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Drag - thanks again :-* :-*

Offline minismom

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All my sweet lovies, I forgot to mention yesterday during our chior performance that the brakes went out in our car - the only car we have that fits all of us.  We were on the way home from visiting my granny in the hospital and it suddenly wouldn't stop!  Hubby was literally standing on the brakes with both feet and it would not stop.  So, this morning at 7am, he left to take it to the only place who could take a look at it before next Wednesday.  Prayerfully they have whatever parts are needed to fix it.  We can't go without a vehicle.

The city just passed us has had an awful time with their water system.  The city water showed ecoli and chlorofil (?) in it.  They have to boil water to even wash thier hands and brush teeth.  Many resale business have had to close.  The advisory went out the day my granny went into the hospital.  She spent over 4 hrs in the ER waiting on a room because the hospital had to figure out what to do.  30 surgeries / day have had to be cancelled.  They had to bring in truck loads of water every hour just so the cafeteria can wash dishes and cook for the patients.  It's times like this that I am SO glad we have a well.

Drag, hun, i wish I could explain to you why we aren't getting decent care.  I'm dumbfounded.  We just keep trekking along and often end up taking the kids out of state for care (and paying for it out of pocket).  I'm not quite sure what people expect from us and I personally have stopped caring.  When I look around, I sure don't see any of the nay-sayers beating a path to my door offering help. the funny thing is, that we KNOW what our kids' issues are.  The problem we're having is that doctors come up with every excuse in the book as to why NOTHING is "wrong" with them, or why "something" is up, just not what we "think" (ie. #6 is ignoring us or being cute when, no, she can't hear).

 Hubby and I do work - we own 2 businesses.  BUT, the state program that we have a contract with - Birth to Three / Early Intervention - is $3 million in the hole and we haven't been paid for nearly 3mths.  We do our own billing and we are expected to continue with our clients, without a paycheck.  Fiscal year (and new money) doesn't start until July 1st.  All that money will be gone trying to pay everyone for work done since January 31st (the last week we got paid for).  And, mind you, we get no benefits like retirement, 401K, insurance, nothing - "just" a paycheck, which hasn't been coming either.

Queen: I'm very disappointed, too, in the person you mentioned.  Although, thinking back, I can see it happening with comments he's made to me via PM.  Not about you, but about things that he and I have been discussing.  But, if you are going to put your beliefs out there, be wo/man enough to own up to it.  Good luck next week on your job interview.  I'm rooting for you, hun.

I need to go feed the crew.  Our big special breakfast is going to end up being a big special lunch or supper.  Hopefully Hubby and our car will be back home by then.  We never made plans of how exactly he's supposed to get home if they have to keep the car.  Whoops!

Love, hugs, and moochies!
Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

 


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