Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 28, 2014, 01:08:35 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 632102
  • Total Topics: 47860
  • Online Today: 251
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: New in North Carolina  (Read 6244 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline HAGGAR

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
New in North Carolina
« on: July 19, 2006, 12:18:41 PM »
Well first I got HIV and now I'm in NC...which I could call something else.After living in NYC for all of my life...Infected in 97,sober in 01,HIV peer advocate,planning council member(up state NY)plus a lot more..all of this in six years... and now I come to north cackalacky...and low and behold!!!! What ever I learned or what ever help I can give I find out from the larger services here that I am not needed,there is no planning council, no outreach(illegal to hand out condoms),no long term rental assistance...I now have to pay a co-pay for my meds( 3 dollars a bottle is a lot if you are on a fixed income)....well I am just a little pissed off about the state of things here..It seems like people have been intimated into not disclosing,having a safe meeting place etc... I could be wrong...But when the Health Dept. treated me and my girlfriend like S... because we are lesbians and infected...makes me wonder! I just don"t know....
HAGGAR

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2006, 09:41:05 AM »
Haggar, welcome to the forum.

I'm moving your thread from the Blog forum to the Living forum because you'll get more responses there. Please have a look at the Welcome thread at the top of the Living forum - it will tell you all about what this site has to offer.

We have a few other members here from NC and hopefully they can give you some insight into the state of services there.

Hope to hear more from you...
Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,389
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2006, 09:50:51 AM »
Haggar, welcome. You've come to the right place.

I'm glad you and your gf have each other for support in what sounds like a challenging situation.

What kinds of service organizations, if any, are there in your area? New Yorkers are very resourceful and though it will no doubt be challenging, I'm wondering if you may yet find some support there.

In any case, you're welcome to ask questions here as well as to discuss anything that's on your mind.

Again, welcome!

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,604
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2006, 10:07:34 AM »
hi Haggar, and welcome to the Forums!   Looking forward to hearing more from you...

hugs,

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Trish

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2006, 10:24:14 AM »
Hi Haggar,

Welcome to the forums...

I'm originally from Brooklyn, NY (42 years born & bred) and moved to Kansas City, MO this year.  I've been poz since 1989 and am thankful for having found this site last year.  I think you will find the support and love you need here.  There are quite a few members who live in NC and I'm certain that they will steer you in the right direction.  I'm also sure that you will make some wonderful friends on these forums, of which I would like to be one to you.

Like you, I was involved in the Planning Council in NYC and I continue to do so in KC.  I think it's important that we all get involved in such things, because only we know what we need and we do have the power to effect change.

I wish you well in NC and I hope you find what you are seeking.

I also look forward to getting to know you better, and I am always willing to share my life with others... it's the only way we get to know one another by sharing our life stories.

All the best to you and your girlfriend.

Trish :)
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2006, 11:30:48 AM »
Hi Haggar,

Welcome to the forums! There is a great group of people here.


Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2006, 11:40:35 AM »
Hi Haggar,

Welcome to this fine place.

Careful now, we have some really stellar babes here, but I guess you see that already, especially that Teresa.  I say she needs to rid herself of those glasses though, they are so 1985!.

All joking aside, I hope you and your girlfriend can FORCE some receptivity there in NC.  There are quite a few of us here in NC, so there should be some way that you can all come together and speak to the needs there, with one voice.  I happen to hail from Southeast Arizona, but with the net, we can all help each other.  I know you know the rules, but in my "Activist" thread which is still current, you will find a link to the Ryan White Manual, and you will be able to download the latest version to help show the way there in NC.

Once again,  Welcome to you both, and feel free to participate as much or as little as you desire.

In Love and Support.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,245
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #7 on: July 20, 2006, 11:49:44 AM »
Hi there,

Welcome to the forums!  I'm also in NC... been here for 32 years.  Depending on where you are in this state will pretty much determine the services available.  Where in NC are you?  Send me a PM (private message) if you don't feel comfortable telling your location publically.  Like Ann said, there are a LOT of members from NC.  For its size, I think we're about the best represented state!  Take care.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline purplerain

  • Member
  • Posts: 100
  • finally figured out the pic thing
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #8 on: July 20, 2006, 12:12:53 PM »
Welcome Haggar I am sorry 2 hear about your struggles in NC.. I hope u can find some of the things u are looking 4 there and if not it sounds like U might be the gal 2 whip them in shape.

Good Luck
Jason aka JAG

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #9 on: July 20, 2006, 02:04:32 PM »
Welcome Haggar....  Looks like you may live up to your cartoon namesake out there in Cackalacky!  (Haggar the Horrible)  GIVE EM HELL GIRL! 

Andrew
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #10 on: July 20, 2006, 03:26:47 PM »
heya Haggar!

I was born in Charlotte, raised in Greensboro. All my family lives in North Carolina. Whenever I get really sick, Mom offers to let me come home and live with her. Knowing what I do about the NC services (and not so subtle HIV-ignorance/phobia) I shudder at the thought.

I have profound respect for people who can weather that system, gay or straight.

It's awful to find out - when you actually have a need for assistance - that it's not there. You sound like someone with great strength and perserverence though. I hope you are able to carve out a way to survive in NC.

If not, you and your partner ought to move here, to GA :) In Decatur, the lesbian to hetero population is fifteen to one :)

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,384
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #11 on: July 20, 2006, 04:06:13 PM »
Howdy Hagar,
Welcome to the family here. Sorry about NC though.  :-\  I live in the northwest corner of New Mexico.

I hope you're able to light a fire under those carolinans. If not, just set them on fire, that'll make em move!  ;)

I'm glad you found us and look forward to getting to know you better.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,245
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #12 on: July 20, 2006, 04:20:45 PM »
Hey guys, chill with the NC crap, ok!  Just kidding.  Actually, in this area (about 125,000 in this county), I was kind of impressed with the service.  My partner has no insurance.  Approx. three months ago, he was told that there were over 1300 people on a waiting list for medical assistance.  A couple of weeks later, he got a call to set up an appointment with his ID Dr.  He just got his second set of results yesterday.  I think he feels sort of uncomfortable with the environment, in a way.  However, we both realize that he's very fortunate to be able to receive any assistance at all, so you'll hear no bitching from us.  Hopefully, Hagar will have a similar, or better, experience.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline luvmyboys

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #13 on: July 20, 2006, 09:04:07 PM »
Welcome Haggar.  I lived in Raleigh for a while.  Love the city and state. Glad to hear your partner is getting some assistance.   
7/10/06 CD4 427, % 17, VL 20,600
5/30/06 CD4 428, % 17, VL 21,700

Offline Superman

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #14 on: July 20, 2006, 11:58:06 PM »
Welcome to our state from your friend in Smithfield NC.  It takes some getting use to.  BTW - did you bring some bagels and pizza?

Offline otherplaces

  • Member
  • Posts: 398
  • Mutant Super Hero
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #15 on: July 21, 2006, 01:07:30 AM »

Welcome Hagar,

I'm sure some things in NC can be trying, but damn...it is pretty.

brian


Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #16 on: July 21, 2006, 01:44:07 AM »
Welcome aboard Haggar!!!

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,937
  • AM member since 2003
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #17 on: July 21, 2006, 05:27:59 AM »
Hi Haggar

A warm welcome from a very cold and snow covered New Zealand..I look forward to hearing more from you.
If you have the strength to stand up and fight then maybe you and your girlfriend can make a difference...if you yell loud enough someone will hear you.

Take care
Hugs
Jan :)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #18 on: July 21, 2006, 08:23:20 AM »
I'm in Greensboro. If you are in the Triad (Greensboro, Winston-Salem, High Point) you should checkout Triad Health Project www.triadhealthproject.com. They have assistance programs, support groups, etc.

Offline Tar Heel

  • Member
  • Posts: 92
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #19 on: July 22, 2006, 07:27:53 PM »
I was born and bred in NC and am prefectly content here and I'm getting excellent medical care.

If you're not happy with NC or the treatment you are getting here, I'm sure I-95 North is open. 
"So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder on that which has been denied." ~ Helen Keller

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #20 on: July 22, 2006, 07:34:36 PM »
I was born and bred in NC and am prefectly content here and I'm getting excellent medical care.

If you're not happy with NC or the treatment you are getting here, I'm sure I-95 North is open. 

Its not always easy, or even possible, to pick up and leave. Sometimes we have to stay where we are, and do our best to make what changes we can.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Tar Heel

  • Member
  • Posts: 92
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #21 on: July 22, 2006, 07:42:00 PM »
I'm tired of people bitching about coming down south and everything being inadequate in comparison to the north.  Nobody puts a gun to someones head and says "Move south!"
"So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder on that which has been denied." ~ Helen Keller

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #22 on: July 22, 2006, 09:43:32 PM »
Hey Haggar, and welcome to the forums. It's not the first time I have heard of other areas not being EMA's (Eligible Metropolitian Areas) who receive Ryan White Title I funding.

I just moved an hour south of Orlando, Fl and it is not an EMA. I was told by the local HD (health department) that I needed to drive north to another municipal which only to find out they have a small staff and everything has to go through the State.

I see this as an opportunity to join the nearest planning council (Orlando/Tampa) and feed off them to make a difference in this town. Johnothan was right, sometimes you can't just pick up and leave like that.

Any case, you will find a lot of support here. Moffie65 (Tim) made a good suggestion to download the RWCA manual and read it. It will help. Just make a loud voice and you will be heard.

Eldon

Offline cjc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,011
  • Sweet Girl
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #23 on: July 22, 2006, 10:17:21 PM »
Hello, Welcome to the forums. There are some really great people here. I live in NC and have been here 34 years. Where in NC are you based. I receive treatment at Moses Cone in Greensboro and my doctor seems to know what he's doing. Also, I believe GSOgymrat mentioned Triad Health project. They have resources you may be able to use. Whatever part of NC you are in, I wish you the best and hope to see more of you here.  Cristy

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #24 on: July 22, 2006, 10:29:03 PM »
I'm tired of people bitching about coming down south and everything being inadequate in comparison to the north.  Nobody puts a gun to someones head and says "Move south!"

True. But once a person gets diagnosed with a chronic, potentially life threatening pathogen, they are rather at the mercies of thier environment. Especially if they lack the resources to move home, or elsewhere. I think that the best use of this support forum would be to offer advice and experience and assistance, rather than allowing regional pride to overcome humanity.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #25 on: July 22, 2006, 11:38:51 PM »
If you in the Triad and are looking for GLBT resources check out www.outgreensboro.com.

Offline Tar Heel

  • Member
  • Posts: 92
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #26 on: July 23, 2006, 11:46:53 AM »
True. But once a person gets diagnosed with a chronic, potentially life threatening pathogen, they are rather at the mercies of thier environment. Especially if they lack the resources to move home, or elsewhere. I think that the best use of this support forum would be to offer advice and experience and assistance, rather than allowing regional pride to overcome humanity.


She was infected in 97 and just moved to NC.  I would imagine she checked out the services before her move, right?

And she has yet to tell what part of NC she is in.  If she is in the mtns, the Asheville-based WNCAP http://wncap.org/ can assist her. 

And it's not 'regional pride' that bothers me, it's some HIV+ people seeing themselves as victims instead of standing up and doing something about it.
"So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder on that which has been denied." ~ Helen Keller

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #27 on: July 23, 2006, 05:34:52 PM »
The South isn't for everyone. To be honest if I was not in a relationship (today is out 14th anniversary) I would move to a larger city so I could fish in a larger pond. It's rude though for people to move to a place and then bad mouth it. When I lived in Los Angeles people repeatedly asked me how I could possible be gay and have lived in N.C., like I had fled a third world country. Even though I preferred N.C. to L.A. I would be polite and try not to bitch.

Reminds me of a lady who moved to Greensboro from Australia and all I heard was how the food, the people, the weather, the government, the color of the sky was better in Australia. After 9 years here she was deported. Then I get letters about how Australia has changed: the food's not as good, the sky is not as blue, etc. Just proves the saying: now matter where you go, there you are.

Offline Tar Heel

  • Member
  • Posts: 92
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #28 on: July 23, 2006, 07:29:32 PM »
I don't feel sorry for Haggar one bit.  She moved to NC and apparently had not checked out the services for HIV patients and now is complaining about it.

She is also complaining about having to pay 3 dollars for a bottle of HIV meds that would normally run about 1000 bucks.  I think that's a pretty good deal.  And yes I know living on a fixed income is rough, I'm on one as well.  Most HIV patients are.  I'm not on meds yet but I'm thankful I will get my meds thru my insurance for a 20 dollar co-pay when the need comes.

She says the clinic she went to treated her and her g/f like "sh*t" because they were infected.  First off, I am a RN and I seriously doubt they were treated any way other than professional.  I have a feeling she went into the clinic with an aire of entitlement, and was not bowed down to.  Most natives of NC are very friendly but don't do well when being slammed.

As far as North Carolina goes, I think it's a wonderful place to live.  It's not as liberal as I'd like it to be, but no place is perfect.  I spent the month of February in New Zealand and loved it, but my heart began to beat fast when I saw the mountains in the distance.  The Raleigh area is one of the most prized area to live in for medical treatment with the Research Triangle. 

If Haggar honestly sees misjustice to the HIV patients in the city she now lives in, with all her New York knowledge base, she should do something about it instead of coming in here with the first line of "Well first I got HIV and now I'm in NC."   NC didn't recruit her and unless I'm sadly mistaken, NY didn't kick her out!
"So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder on that which has been denied." ~ Helen Keller

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,245
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #29 on: July 23, 2006, 08:39:40 PM »
I'm wondering if Haggar is even reading these responses.  Her profile shows her last activity the day this message was posted.  Haggar, if you're reading these responses, let us know.  People are taking time to welcome you, give information, and offer assistance.  It'd be great to know if anything anybody's posted has been helpful.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #30 on: July 24, 2006, 02:50:23 AM »
Wow.
 Sad.
A support forum.

If I were Haggar, I am not sure I would have come back.

Seriously, dudes, can you please shelve the attitudes long enough to offer a welcome? And to perhaps think that maybe a Northern lesbian of color might have a different take on the south, and the HIV services, than a white male?

As for three bucks a bottle, I can attest to the fact that this adds up to someone whose monthly take-home is less than six hundred bucks. My co-pays average roughly fifty bucks a month, and that's almost a tenth of my income. Add in rent, electric, what passes for food, et al, and I can totally understand the frustration.

Hopefully one of the links to the ASOs in the area have helped this poster. God/dess knows the welcome to the forums has been a little lacking.

Seriously, this is not about North Cackalacky, its about HIV and AIDS. And its about being welcoming and trying to help, not about dissecting a person's choices that brought her here.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #31 on: July 24, 2006, 05:04:53 AM »
Well said Jonathan, thank you.

Haggar,

I hope you give us another try. We do care, really we do.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Tar Heel

  • Member
  • Posts: 92
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #32 on: July 24, 2006, 07:28:16 AM »
Maybe I'm the one that doesn't belong.  I had the assumption that a support forum would encourage someone to taking responsibility for themselves and their actions and avoid the sterotypical patting them on the back and saying "bless your heart."
"So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder on that which has been denied." ~ Helen Keller

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,245
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #33 on: July 24, 2006, 09:29:29 AM »
Maybe I'm the one that doesn't belong.  I had the assumption that a support forum would encourage someone to taking responsibility for themselves and their actions and avoid the stereotypical patting them on the back and saying "bless your heart."

Actually, it would seem that a support forum should do both.  Empathizing and showing compassion are one part of support, the 'first step' in helping somebody.  The second would be to give them information or show them how to find resources to obtain that help.  Several of us here have already given feedback indicating that help is definitely available to folks in NC.  Perhaps the comments should have been something along the lines of "I can understand your frustration.  HIV/AIDS assistance in NC will be different from NY.  That assistance may not always be as visible, but other members here are getting help.  Maybe you could check out some of the links and other resources that others have posted here.  There certainly are worse places to be in terms of obtaining medical assistance.  NC is different in a lot of other ways, too, but it's a really nice place to live".  I think that's what we really should be saying.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Tar Heel

  • Member
  • Posts: 92
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #34 on: July 24, 2006, 04:04:38 PM »
Apparently many members here think "We're here for you!" and "We care!" is the appropriate response for someone throwing a fit and showing their lack of planning.  Maybe I'm more reality-based.  But enabling someone to show adolesent behavior is a disservice and discouraging them to grow from potential learning experiences.

You guys knock yourself out.

Cheers.
"So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder on that which has been denied." ~ Helen Keller

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #35 on: July 24, 2006, 04:18:01 PM »
Quote
But enabling someone to show adolesent behavior is a disservice and discouraging them to grow from potential learning experiences.

I am sorry that was your take on this thread. I was hoping that you would have read David_NC's well-written response. I have no idea what made you so angry at the original poster, but I hope you do not allow that anger to poison your ability to give assistance, or to take advice, when warranted.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline purplerain

  • Member
  • Posts: 100
  • finally figured out the pic thing
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #36 on: July 24, 2006, 04:24:40 PM »
Tar Heel remind me never 2 get on your bad side bud LOL I hear what your saying but a little compassion can go along way in helping someone and I would hope that's what we are all here 4 is 2 help each other thru some rough times.  I'm gonna have my days where I will bitch and complain about living with this disease and even though I contracted it thru unprotected sex and yes I should have known better if I am reaching out 4 help or just venting and someone treated me that harsh it would make me think twice about asking 4 help again.  Just my thoughts

JAG

Offline Tar Heel

  • Member
  • Posts: 92
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #37 on: July 24, 2006, 10:26:56 PM »
Tar Heel remind me never 2 get on your bad side bud ...
Ok, I give.


Haggar, Bless you heart and I hope you find all the support and TLC in the world while in NC.  If you'd let us know what city you live in, I am sure that I other one of the other NC residents would be happy to assist you find any available services you need.  We're here for you and we care! 

"So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder on that which has been denied." ~ Helen Keller

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,245
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: New in North Carolina
« Reply #38 on: July 24, 2006, 11:17:32 PM »
You know what they say about hospitality and friendliness in the South... it's obviously NOT always true!  Tarheel, we don't know what her situation is.  Maybe she has a relative dying and is here to help; maybe not.  We don't know.  It's one of those situations where it's probably better to give the benefit of a doubt.  If she continued to bash NC... well, that's a different story entirely!  She only made one post.  The other criticisms came from others. I've lived in this state for 32 years and am as much a Tarheel as anybody else ('cept I DON'T like UNC  ;)), so let's cut her some slack.

As an aside... I live in a resort/ tourist area and waited tables and bartended for years.  You can't imagine the number of yankees that came down here.  Many of them thought we were 'quaint'; others called us 'cute'.  Some liked 'the locals', but thought things were SO much better back up 'Yankee Way'.  That's one thing I try to not do when I travel... talk crap about the locals.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.