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Author Topic: April 17..  (Read 5998 times)

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Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
April 17..
« on: April 03, 2008, 10:30:47 AM »
I started taking meds on april 17 2002...
SO i have been on meds now for 6 yrs..

I had hiv for 23 yrs....

I am glad I waited so long to get on meds, because it has
definitly changed the way I look, and feel..

Yes we are all still alive, and I thank god every day, that I
am able to walk talk, enjoy the beauty that nature has given
us...I am greatful for many things..

Just not greatful for the side effects of the meds and how much
damage it has caused my liver and kidneys....

I deal with things on a day to day basics....
I was told at the age of 30 yrs old that I was poz..

So now I am 53 and of course I would look different than
I did when I was 30...I cant blame the meds for the
wrinkles, some changes in the body that would of happened
naturally with or without meds...........

I am just trying my damnest to grow old gracefully..

Does any one have any tips on this subject??? Need all the help
I can get...the summers coming... :( and that means shedding
off some clothing ...

In the winter time I can hide my skinny legs and arms
but summertime, I cant hide shyt...Its all out there...

But, Humpty dumpty still goes to the beach anyway, just dont use a
bathing suit.....Shorts and a tang top will have to do... ;)
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,399
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: April 17..
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2008, 02:57:08 PM »
Hey Ubotts,

OK, first, hire someone to paint a portrait of you as you looked 23 years ago. Then, when its completed, cover it and hide it in the attic and never, ever look at it.

Oh, wait, should have been done when you were 30. Sorry, too late.

Of course, I am just kidding.

I catch myself walking past mirrors and looking around to see who the old man in the mirror is. Guess what, its me.

I think at this point in our lives, because we are pretty much the same age, we should be grateful to still be breathing and antagonizing the younger set.

Growing old gracefully isn't so much preserving the body as it is a state of mind. Its being comfortable with the body you've got and with the changes that have happened - or are happening.

So, hon, just remember, people who count will like you for who you are, not whether you have a bony butt. If that is all the further they look, you don't want them around anyway.

HUGS,

Mark
« Last Edit: April 03, 2008, 03:00:01 PM by aztecan »
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,975
Re: April 17..
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2008, 10:03:56 PM »
Oh, I agree with Mother Mark.  Aging gracefully is more a state of mind than appearance of the body.  I try to remind myself of my age (42) when I buy clothes; whilst I'm tempted to purchase 'trashy' clothes, I usually get age-fitting tops that are still a bit sexy. 

I know about wanting to look good for summer.  But, I'm more concerned about feeling good right now.  And a lot of that is emotional well-being.

By the way, how's everything with the hep C?
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,413
Re: April 17..
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2008, 10:57:08 PM »
Hi Ubotts-
You know what they say "Age is just a number" Accentuate the positive, don't worry about not wearing what everyone else is wearing (especially at the beach)  I found and interesting article that might help.
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/230/story_23071_1.html?source=BNET&campaign=077&medium=LNK&nopop=1&WT.mc_id=MEA6077&WT.srch=1
Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline 25YRSAGO

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
Re: April 17..
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2008, 03:18:31 PM »
Hi Ubotts,

I share your pain about the beach.  Found out at 22, got it at 19.  Now I am 43, a certified member of the 'zipper' club and of all things overweight now.  Lipo bulge is a hard thing to cope with, and I've coped by adding to it.  Not good.  Since the shoulder replacement a couple years ago due to Avascular Necrosis, it's been hard to work out.  My bones seem a bit shot to hell.  BUT, don't let that stop you from going to the beach.  The ocean does wonders for our sense of health and well-being.  Good aerobics is a great thing if you can manage it.  I often just go for the long walk on the beach which requires less clothes shedding.  It's hard to forget the days of being the beach hottie....ha ha ha.  But time marches on for everyone. 

Stay Strong!!

J
STRONG MIND, STRONG BODY, STRONG SPIRIT!!!

Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
Re: April 17..
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2008, 10:51:26 AM »
I guess I am sounding pretty vain.... :-[

You see, this is kinda new to me..(body changes) ...So Ill deal with it and take all your advise....

Just be happy to be alive...

btw, I have seen people on the beach wearing a g-string or a bikini and there really
huge women with celluite and all....

Hell, if they dont give a damn, why should I...

They are enjoying themselves no matter what they look like..

So I am going to do the same thing..Stop worrying about my shape
and just go with the flow...

Play in the water and still do my boogie boarding..

Yep...I am going to just enjoy myself no matter what I look like..
 ;)
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: April 17..
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2008, 11:33:17 AM »
hmmm..I am by no means an expert on giving advice... I have received a lot of it....and then pass it on ;D I do know that I don't see what others see when I look in the mirror. I also find that no matter how unattractive I may think I look, someone shows up and tends to disagree with my assessment. So, yeah, go to the beach and have a good time. I love the beach. (Many fond memories and many sand castles) After awhile, between the wind blowing and the roar of the waves I become  engrossed in my own world, and to heck with how I look...I gotta get that wall and turret strengthened before the next wave comes crashing in....

ronnie
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
Re: April 17..
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2008, 02:48:33 PM »
Thank you Snowangel..I just checked out that site..
Ok...I grow old as gracefully as I can...and its true...If I feel good inside thats a hugh plus......
The outside, Ill have to work on.. ;)
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline beaubrent

  • Member
  • Posts: 44
Re: April 17..
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2008, 02:57:56 PM »

Maybe this isn't fair coming from me, but anyone worth looking at isn't going to care about covered arms. :)
When I found out I had HIV,

I woke up and started living.

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,642
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: April 17..
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2008, 03:38:18 PM »
Hey ubotts,

I know exactly how you are feeling honey.   I despise the way I look, all lipoatrophied....but I am trying very hard to teach myself to embrace it.
Number 1, because I know that is the right thing to do.   and Number 2, because I really don't have any other choice.   I can't afford any type of facial fillers / plastic surgery, and can't seem to have any luck finding a "study" that would treat me at no (or little) cost.

It's kind of a vicious cycle too....you feel bad about the way you look, then you say to hell with it, why even try to exercise or look better?   It doesn't seem to do much good....and now with summer coming on, it's time to drag out the shorts (cargo shorts for me...yes, too young for my age, but they are the right length for maximum coverage!)   As I say at this time every year, "time to show everybody my sticks".   I do need to return to the tanning bed....at least I'll have beige sticks instead of snow white ones.

hugs to you,
Alan   :-*
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
Re: April 17..
« Reply #10 on: April 16, 2008, 09:26:24 AM »
Hey  I do need to return to the tanning bed....at least I'll have beige sticks instead of snow white ones.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alanbama, You just made me sit here with a Big grin on my face...
Looking tan always makes you look healthier, but watch out and put sunscreen on..

I dont know if its the meds or just me being dumb enough not to use sunscreen, but last summer I was very tan, the end of that summer, I figured, well I am tan already so I dont need any suntanning lotion or sunscreen....I was wrong....My face, when I went home had red dots looking like red freckles on it...DAMN i was made at me..

I should of used something...anyway now the spots have lightened up but I had a clear
complexion..and no I use makeup to cover or even out my skin tone..

Be sure to use a sunscreen at least 45 on your face..The rest of my body was fine,
When I asked the doctor she said the face has thinner layers of skin on it, so that's why it only happened to my face...

Oh well...I use sunscreen and see if I can blend it all in this summer..

Wish my dumb monkeyass luck.....lol :-[
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,975
Re: April 17..
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2008, 10:13:55 AM »
And of course, anyone who is on Bactrim (smp/tm..something) as prophylaxis needs to avoid long periods of exposure in the sun.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
Re: April 17..
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2008, 07:35:05 AM »
HI Betty,

I am not on bactrim, Infact I am allergic to it...

Its very weird though, the sun only effected my face..If it were the meds, it would of happened to my whole body, dontcha think? :-\
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,975
Re: April 17..
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2008, 08:01:20 AM »
Its very weird though, the sun only effected my face..If it were the meds, it would of happened to my whole body, dontcha think? :-\


Actually, the face has fewer layers of skin on it; therefore its sensitivity to the sun.  It happens to me also.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline redhotmuslbear

  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • A genuine certified freak of nature, and a hot one
Re: April 17..
« Reply #14 on: April 20, 2008, 07:04:44 PM »
btw, I have seen people on the beach wearing a g-string or a bikini and there really
huge women with celluite and all....Hell, if they dont give a damn, why should I...

They are enjoying themselves no matter what they look like..So I am going to do the same thing..Stop worrying about my shape and just go with the flow...

Play in the water and still do my boogie boarding.. Yep...I am going to just enjoy myself no matter what I look like..

UB,
Belated congratulations on the revelation about enjoying yourself and not engaging in the banal seaside/poolside beauty pagaent!  I went almost 15 years (pre-HIV dx) unwilling to take my shirt off in public due to a giant car down the middle of my abdomen.  I snapped at a summer "tea dance" in Atlanta when my need to be cooler and comfortable outweighed my discomfort with my body--by that time I also had a four-inch scar on my right pec, and I was keeping my hair short to show off the surgical scars on my head.  A 40-something going on 18 shrieked "Put your shirt back on!  I don't wanna see those scars!'  I snapped back "Cover your precious eyes, then!  These scars make me more of a man than you could ever hope to be!"

Remember that your body has seen more suffering, shown more endurance, and shared more love than most people could bare.  Some things may not be pleasing to the masses, but exposing them shows your character and strength.

Namaste,
David
"The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." - BF Skinner
12-31-09   222wks VL  2430 CD4 690 (37%)
09-30-09   208wks VL  2050  CD4 925 (42%)
06-25-08   143wks VL  1359  CD4 668 (32%)  CD8 885
02-11-08   123wks off meds:  VL 1364 CD4 892(40%/0.99 ratio)
10-19-07   112wks off meds:   VL 292  CD4 857(37%/0.85 ratio)

One copy of delta-32 for f*****d up CCR5 receptors, and an HLA B44+ allele for "CD8-mediated immunity"... beteer than winning Powerball, almost!

Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
Re: April 17..
« Reply #15 on: April 21, 2008, 12:21:46 PM »
Remember that your body has seen more suffering, shown more endurance, and shared more love than most people could bare.  Some things may not be pleasing to the masses, but exposing them shows your character and strength.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` 
Thank you for sharing this with me..

I also have scars on my legs..I was hit by a car and the bones came right out of my skin on my legs...

After being in the hospital for 3 months, then bed ridden for a year and a half, the drs said they wanted to amputate my leg..so I got a second opinion, and they said, the leg should come off and were showing me fake legs, and I said give em to your mama cuz Iam not wearing them..

I went for a 3rd opinion and that doctor saved my leg..thank god..

I have a big hole on the calf of my leg, plus other holes from the fixator I had to wear,
so when I am at the beach, the little kids say..Lady, what happened to your leg,
I lie, ;D and tell them I was swimming in the ocean and a big whale came and was pulling my leg down with his teeth so I punched him in the eye and he went away..lol.
The kids said wow, kewl....

But the grown ups dont ask they just look, but I really dont care, because I still have my own leg and dont have to screw one on everyday...I am greatful so much to have my legs, holes and all.

So yes I am proud of those scars as well...

I even told my great nephew....He was always running in the parking lot as soon as he got out of his moms car...
So once my great nephew asked me..what happened to your leg Auntie..
I told him I wasnt holding my mommie's hand in the parking lot, and I got hit by a car.
I said do you want your leg to look like this..He said NO, I will always hold my mommies hand in the parking lot from now on.. ;)

Just thought Id add that in...Hey it works..lol
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline redhotmuslbear

  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • A genuine certified freak of nature, and a hot one
Re: April 17..
« Reply #16 on: April 21, 2008, 10:45:34 PM »
So once my great nephew asked me..what happened to your leg Auntie..
I told him I wasnt holding my mommie's hand in the parking lot, and I got hit by a car.
I said do you want your leg to look like this..He said NO, I will always hold my mommies hand in the parking lot from now on.. ;)
Just thought Id add that in...Hey it works..lol


You evil woman!  I love it!

It's kinda like when I'm in a mood and someone asks about my craniotomy scars, even a new barber who is being forced to look at them.  I can became overwrought with emotion instantaneously and start discussing the alien abductions to which I have been subjected since age 3 "....I guess it was a training mission."  I can also recount a tale from the first Persian Gulf war if the audience is right.
"The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." - BF Skinner
12-31-09   222wks VL  2430 CD4 690 (37%)
09-30-09   208wks VL  2050  CD4 925 (42%)
06-25-08   143wks VL  1359  CD4 668 (32%)  CD8 885
02-11-08   123wks off meds:  VL 1364 CD4 892(40%/0.99 ratio)
10-19-07   112wks off meds:   VL 292  CD4 857(37%/0.85 ratio)

One copy of delta-32 for f*****d up CCR5 receptors, and an HLA B44+ allele for "CD8-mediated immunity"... beteer than winning Powerball, almost!

Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
Re: April 17..
« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2008, 09:49:16 AM »
You evil man...

Guess where one in the same huh? ;D
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

 


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