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Author Topic: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!  (Read 6172 times)

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Offline AldousOrwell

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  • Posts: 63
Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« on: July 18, 2006, 02:01:32 PM »
Hi Boys and Girls

Aldous  here.

The ad below is from the info page of  our 'Smart Group' one of those easy to assemble DIY Online Community things. It's a bit clunky and you need a bit of net literacy to join in but Lynnette, whose brainchild it was can help. I've just added it now and can't give more details without consulting her. I just thought I would measure the level of interest first. I also hope it will inspire other disenfranchised straights to get off their bums and do something similar in their cities.

Those readers in or around London can attend Str8Talk or Positively Women to find out more. You should be able to Google contact details.


Welcome to The Single Mingle

Introduction
Would you like to meet someone to share your life with? Do you long to create a life you love, where you have more fun and places to go? Would you like to add new friendships to your life? Well, you’re not alone.

About us
The Single Mingle is an informal social group for London’s single HIV positive heterosexual community. It was created in April 2006 for those who would like to stop waiting for a relationship and start making it happen by putting themselves out into the world and attending interesting events.

All members are welcome to participate in any events and add their own ideas which are more aligned with their values and interests. These can be theatre outings, movies, dinners, wine tasting, museum visits, bars, clubs, picnics, sailing, bowling, jazz clubs, salsa classes and more.

Be bold, take risks. The result will be worth it!


The group is private and no one will know about it unless you tell them.So spread the word!

Have a look at the calendar to see what’s on. To attend an event, visit the calendar and add your name.




See you soon, Aldous
« Last Edit: July 25, 2006, 09:55:34 AM by AldousOrwell »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2006, 02:04:34 PM »
How long will this be tolerated?

MtD

Offline AldousOrwell

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  • Posts: 63
Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2006, 02:20:55 PM »
See what I mean, didn't take long.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2006, 02:24:50 PM »
Did you finish school? When you say:

See what I mean, didn't take long.

What you should have said was:

See what I mean? Didn't take long!

MtD

Offline Lisa

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2006, 02:37:23 PM »
Salutations Mr. Orwell,
I am willing to stifle my original thought about you, and persevere.
  My name is Lisa. I am a forty eight year old woman, who managed to raise three children in close proximity to birth(twins, then another within two years.) I spent five years married to a man who brutalized me for five years. My sons were 18months old, and my daughter was 6 months old when I managed to free myself from the horror of a relationship that encompassed emotional, psychological, and physical abuse.
  Down through the years I made bad relationship choices. I have become wary of people in general. I have no proximal friends to spend time with, but have found deep love for the relationships that I have forged via this site.
  It would be a joy to join the group you have outlined above, but I live where I live, and no such fraternity is remotely in the offing.
  I have found complete love, support, and understanding with the people here, who I have NO DOUBT love me for who I am. Regardless of my sex, love, personal preference.
  I love my family here with every fiber of my soul. Perhaps you got off on a destructive path in your original post, but I would not trade a single family member from this place to join your group.
  I am a heterosexual, but have never considered it to be a barrier to my ability to access the people of this site, who have never presented me with anything other than complete, and total acceptance.
  I'm talking about love with no constraints.

I wish you well in your endeavors. :)

No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline David_CA

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2006, 02:41:14 PM »
Personally, it doesn't bother me.  If it happened to be a Poz gay club here in my smallish town... I'd promote the hell out of it.  I won't comment on anything else in his post, as I don't really have an opinion other than what I stated in the previous thread.  I get aggravated with the way MANY people post here, and I'm sure I bother some people too.  That's just the way it is.  Generally, I just click the 'Back' button in my browser and read another posts.  If one doesn't like the fire, one shouldn't continue to throw wood on it.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline David_CA

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2006, 02:47:19 PM »
Did you finish school? When you say:

See what I mean, didn't take long.

What you should have said was:

See what I mean? Didn't take long!

MtD

Matty,
"Didn't take long!" is an incomplete sentence (it has no subject).
 :P  I'm just picking at ya!

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline otherplaces

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2006, 03:03:42 PM »

So is this post about a straight social club, or a way to throw more shots at people in the forums that you don't like? Is there really anything more to be said? You could just link to the old thread if it seems that important for review. You could also just PM those people as I think most of us are tired of it all.

Brian


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2006, 03:04:56 PM »
:D

Strictly speaking all a sentence has to have is a verb, but David is quite correct. The subject is missing from this. Let me now introduce it.

For all our faults we were pretty good. I think we still are. I say to all AIDSMEDS brothers and sisters let's not let this turd fuck our shit up. You want the measure of this? Well look at the people who comment in our various threads. We may not get along, but at least we all look out for each other.

This shit-bag has done nothing of the sort.

When I recently had issues the most important comment I received was from Cliff. Despite our differences he CARED enough to comment. I don't forget these things.

Ann, you've enabled this shit-bag, now fix it. You've got Moderator status for a reason and it's not just to scare the losers in Am I Infected. I know this seems harsh since you're not (as we understand it) paid and all --

DO YOUR JOB.

For fuck's sake. You're not the only one who has "viral days".

MtD

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2006, 04:08:09 PM »
Did I mention my gay cousin, a lesbian, and just to cover my ass I'll throw in some women of color? See my group is inclusive... unlike you nasty folks at AIDSmeds. Aldous your tactics are so transparent...I am mystified why more people don't see through them.

Not that you wanted to, but you could have used this new thread to start fresh. Hey guys, I took your advice to heart and decided to start a heterosexual social group. Thanks for your input, I appreciate it, wish me luck. Which we would have done. You already know what I think about bullshit.

I understand your loneliness...there is not one dating service for straight pozzies. I bet if you went online right now you could not find one. Why even here at AIDSmeds two straight people could never meet and fall in love...oops... Aldous, meet Trish and John.

I'm going to hit my ignore button...and just like StrongGuy, people will tire and ignore you and you will fade away. Like the stink on bullshit.

Offline kcmetroman

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2006, 04:13:36 PM »
As posted in Tim's new thread

May all of us take a moment to pause and consider what we say and do.

And in this thread

How long will this be tolerated?

Ann, you've enabled this shit-bag, now fix it. You've got Moderator status for a reason and it's not just to scare the losers in Am I Infected. I know this seems harsh since you're not (as we understand it) paid and all --


Ann, maybe you should do your job.  We need more sensitivity like this.


Offline Moffie65

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2006, 04:27:19 PM »


In total Awe.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2006, 04:29:56 AM by Moffie65 »
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline newt

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2006, 04:45:57 PM »
Aldous, well done, good initiative. If you go back to your post n edit out all your preamble it will save a lot of trouble.  It's kinda defensive.  It's kinda unnecessary.  It's kinda wrong. You's gonna get skewered by it.  Removing the preamble will help promote your support group better, which is the point eh?. 

Other people, this is one thread among many, silence is golden so lay off or I'll hit you with my Abercrombie catalogue. This is not say you;s wrong, far from it, but I am asking for grace.

- matt
« Last Edit: July 19, 2006, 09:44:13 AM by newt »
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline angels4kelly

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  • IT JUST IS!!.....OKAY!
Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2006, 04:59:00 PM »
Quote
["'Pecking Order' thread which was taken completely out of context"/quote]


                                                 
POSITIVE SINCE-10/1990
CD4-610
CD4%-29.3
VL-UNDETECTABLE
VIREAD,VIRACEPT, EPZICOM

MOST RECENT...
10/9/2006
CD4's-714
CD4%-30%
VL-Undetectable
DIAGNOSES POSITIVE 10/90
SAME MEDS, VIREAD, VIRAMUNE, EPZICOM.

SHOOT FOR THE MOON! YOU MAY MISS,
BUT YOU'LL LAND IN THE STARS :)

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
 
Failure is not in falling down,
but the staying down

Offline Terry

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  • 7/13/82 Infected
Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2006, 05:03:47 PM »
Hasn't anyone figured out yet that Aldous is a flaming fag?   ???

Matty, shame on you! or shame on you? You got my point?!.”  ???

This guy has the same tactics as another troll that was banished awhile back. And if the moderators don’t see that he is nothing but trouble, well this place is truly losing it.

Terry(Who’s afraid to type a word now.) But that won’t stop me.  ;D

Offline Lis

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #15 on: July 18, 2006, 05:34:55 PM »
Hi, I'm Lis...... and I have AIDS.....

thats it.. nothing else... just that!  AIDS has no idea who i fuck at night... perhaps we should stop with all of this ... we are ALL in the same fish bowl.....
« Last Edit: July 18, 2006, 05:40:22 PM by RUKind »
poz 1986....

Offline DingoBoi

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  • Bailey's Infected Cream™ Served since 2004
Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #16 on: July 18, 2006, 06:04:15 PM »
can I have another bowl?   This one is full of shit.

Offline Lis

  • Member
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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #17 on: July 18, 2006, 06:23:51 PM »
lol..... no.. your stuck with ME!!!   the girl that loves and respects YOU ALL!!!!

poz 1986....

Offline AldousOrwell

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #18 on: July 18, 2006, 08:39:34 PM »
I think I better explain to those who have just come to this thread why most of the other messages are how they are.

The Original posting had a preamble primarily aimed at people who really should know better. Most are clearly intelligent people yet they insisted in engaging in the politics of the playground, or perhaps an overcrowded sandpit. So I've jumped out of their one and created my own one. There is a bit of a clue in the heading as to who this new thread is aimed at.

Sorry gay guys but you have a myriad of other forums, we only ask we be given an eency weency part of this general one as we don't have an exclusively Hetero one. Well not that I know of anyway, which I think speaks volumes about the overall way we are catered for. I did mention that we want to set one up but even doing that seems to annoy you. I really don't understand why it is any skin of your noses. Even other people wrote of a strange jealousy for this virus , with comments from others like being asked 'What are you doing with our disease?'. I think some retaliatory comments are totally out of all proportion to what I wrote. It's turned into a 'Bitchfest'.

I'm the new guy that stumbled onto this forum which I thought was for ALL HIV POSITIVE PEOPLE. I've threatened their hegemony and their petty comments above reflect that. Much like the Spanish Inquisition, I did not expect it.

Seeing as we have now exchanged verbal blows can we please call a truce. I've said my piece and see no need to involve newcomers in it. 

There is a very serious side to this new thread. Helping other positive people have a social life. It's all well and good for you guys to quibble and pontificate knowing you have a date for the weekend. I'm only trying to make that pipe dream a reality for people of my sexual orientation.

It has been an education and I have not tried to belittle any other groups. I don't know what a 'macho' writing style is really, it was something a friend ( yes I actually have some) said when I sent him a short story I wrote last year. Maybe 'aggressive' is a better adjective.

Being a straight poz person has it's own problems unique to us. Such as the prejudice of maternity nurses and midwives towards expectant poz mums. We also have had our funerals to attend, just last month in fact.

I humbly apologize for letting my sense of humour get the better of me sometimes but some people really did ask for it.

I was encouraged to read Newt's message about taking on the establishment and removed the preamble partly at his behest.

I wish you all good health.

Aldous.

PS It seems being genuinely kind to gay friends and relatives makes me one too by association. I think this attitude also stops negative people from hanging out with or supporting Poz people for fear of being thought of as Poz too.

PPS What is that saying about not being part of the solution...?


Offline Sdgirl

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #19 on: July 18, 2006, 08:59:39 PM »
IPS It seems being genuinely kind to gay friends and relatives makes me one too by association. I think this attitude also stops negative people from hanging out with or supporting Poz people for fear of being thought of as Poz too.

PPS What is that saying about not being part of the solution...?



You are one totally JACK'D up man............even when you are attempting to redeem yourself, you are still an ASS.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?"

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #20 on: July 18, 2006, 09:16:04 PM »
Quote
Seeing as we have now exchanged verbal blows can we please call a truce. I've said my piece and see no need to involve newcomers in it. 

Interesting you choose this stance since the previous 3 paragraphs were all about throwing flame on the fire.

Offline joemutt

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #21 on: July 18, 2006, 11:52:31 PM »
Aldous, you keep on insulting people, then you reconsider and then you insult them some more. Your basic idea (social club) might be sound but your main aim seems to create divisiveness. And I think that's sad.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #22 on: July 19, 2006, 12:00:29 AM »
I do think that this site is extremely adept at identifying disruptive forces.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline David_CA

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #23 on: July 19, 2006, 12:07:10 AM »
Guys, CHILL.  I can't believe that people don't believe this to be at least partially true:

PS It seems being genuinely kind to gay friends and relatives makes me one too by association. I think this attitude also stops negative people from hanging out with or supporting Poz people for fear of being thought of as Poz too.

PPS What is that saying about not being part of the solution...?


Come on, now.  I've known straight guys who were uncomfortable hanging out with the real flamers to risk people thinking they're gay too.  I've known gay guys who don't want to hang out with poz guys else they'll be branded poz too.  It doesn't take a genius to know why; they didn't want to be 'guilty by association'.  I'm as gay as can be.  This doesn't make me oblivious to the fact that people judge.  People often don't give the benefit of a doubt.  This poster is NOT saying that he feels this way, he's saying that others see people that way!  We're talking about the same general public that sees a few African-American teenage males walking down the street.  Would we HONESTLY be surprised if this public clutched their purse or bags a little tighter and avoided any eye contact?  This may not be right (it's not); it may not be kind (it's not), but people are ignorant.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #24 on: July 19, 2006, 12:19:13 AM »
why bother.

this will go on and on.. in the end our dear aldous will depart never to return... can't we just hasten that along by not responding?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #25 on: July 19, 2006, 08:52:34 AM »
Dear All,

This is the kind of thread that can induce mind acid reflux.

Aldous, all you seem to do when given more rope is hang yourself again. You have much to learn about apologizing and wanting to make amends and a fresh start. Using this thread to re-state your position in a thread which was locked is not acceptable. While you say you want to make a fresh start you also insert a swat at whatever you didn't like or agree with that others have said. Let me tell you, that is not the way the fighting in Lebanon and Gaza is going to end nor is it going to do anything but provoke more acid rain here, even when you have some people striving to elevate the level of the conversation.

If your intention was simply to pass along the information about the London club doing that did not require a preamble or a post-mortem about recent events. Get the difference?

So how about you stand back a bit and really think about what you write before putting it down here. However you may choose to dress it up, you're doing a lot of pot stirring here, which is quite, quite different than simply and directly writing about your own experiences and challenges as an HIV positive, self-identified heterosexual.

To others who have replied here I will simply say that lacing your comments with expletives cheapens the dialogue and does not serve what you want to say well. To me it expresses frustration and despair in a way that degrades what you want to say. Say what you feel and think, but please fewer expletives, please.

I'm speaking here not as a fingerwagging schoolmarm, but as someone who respects you and who feels sad and frustrated when you allow passion and provocation to lead you into ugly rants.

Cheers? 
« Last Edit: July 19, 2006, 09:16:21 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline lydgate

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #26 on: July 19, 2006, 04:02:29 PM »
AldousOrwell,

Apart from all the inflamed rhetoric (since there's been no debate, only the barest appearance of one, and virtually no civility) -- Good luck with your straight poz social club, hope it grows rapidly and that it inspires other people in the UK (and elsewhere) to consider starting such a group in their cities or towns. It fills a void that perhaps those of us who are gay don't think about enough.

Hope you stick around, and weather through the recent storms, partly (though certainly not entirely) created by you. This is hardly an "endorsement" of all that you've said. I do think you need to control your "tone" (maybe more Jane Austen and fewer writers of dystopian scenarios?), and think about the terms (and all the connotations of those terms) with which you articulate your thoughts, a bit better. But then so do a LOT of posters both on this thread and the previous one you started. I'm not yet a jaded-enough user of online forums to simply say, "Well, this happens from time to time, the shit hits the fan, it's a given of online discussions, any student of online culture can tell you that." I've been amazed, and dismayed, at the amount of vitriol hurled around. 

Andy, you mentioned that expletives "cheapen the dialogue." What dialogue? With several respondents, I don't even see an attempt being made at being fair, open-minded, empathetic (outmoded virtues perhaps? gone the way of the slide-rule?); it's a rapid rush to the convenient expediency of a cataract of rant. And that Ann should be attacked so viciously (no hyperbole) is just awful. Awful.

Back to STILL more "Oz."

Jay
« Last Edit: July 19, 2006, 04:39:08 PM by lydgate »
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline AldousOrwell

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #27 on: July 19, 2006, 11:14:40 PM »
Dear Moderator

I see where you are coming from but I still feel you are placating the 'home crowd' rather like a  football referee happy to award a dubious equalising penalty, in order to get to carpark after the game in one piece. As you pointed out when people run out of any real rebuttal they resort to swearing. I'm happy to leave things a 'draw' (perhaps stalemate is more like it) and we can agree to disagree on many points. I did try to apologise but it was not accepted and even referred to as further insult. Was it my logical response to redressing the balance when my sexuality was mockingly brought into question?

Had I been born gay and had the same shared experiences as my detractors then perhaps I would be sitting in a bar now with Dingoboi and Matty saying "sod the hetero world, it never did us any favours so why even bother to feel sympathy for a few straights now", despite having a shared life threatening blood disorder.

How  can anyone really judge if I'm homophobic or neutral or even as some work colleagues have described, gay friendly? Do cheap people ever consider themselves tightfisted or just thrifty? If you think my views or perceived undertones are anti your cause you should consider the more life affecting views of the idiots charged with handling this crisis. Personally I think if HIV was caused by some other percieved 'lifestyle choice' not related to sex say playing golf or attending too many Republican rallies and bible readings, they would have found a cure in 1983.

I never rose to the bait of those who seemed to hate the messenger more than the messages. I tried to remain civil and never swore back. I get the feeling you wrote your message before I removed the preamble. I was gladdened to see some of the retaliatory messages were taken down as well, as their points had been rendered impotent and redundant.

Despite claims to the contrary I never had a plan or an 'agenda'. I just wrote a true account of my experiences of being thrown into this crazy mixed up upside world we call HIV.

What if HIV was rare among gay men compared to straights? Say only transferred via vaginal fluid for some odd reason, for the purposes of this juxtapositional argument. Meaning that it was transferred only through third parties such as needle sharers or even bi-sexuals. Imagine a scene where say only 1% of sexually active gay people were infected but I dunno say 10% of straight people were. You might well find yourselves on a straight dominated forum desparately scrambling to reach out to the few other positive gay men out there.

Unable to tell the other gay guys in your circle what is wrong and unable to fully explain your anger and thus become alienated from them eventually. If you do tell them they go 'But how? Why? When?. I thought only 'breeders' caught that! And when you eventually do step up your efforts, as I have done, you only end up being misunderstood through not knowing the ins and outs of their world. Worse still they take exception to you even posting there, despite your protestations that you really do have nowhere else to go. I bet it would make you 'come out swinging'. You may well show less restraint than I have.

On a more cheery note I saw both my counsellor today and attended Str8Talk. We had a record attendance of around 40 people. We also had the charity game (for all poz people) explained to us by a person from an NGO  that is keen to broaden it's reach at long last. Even though his job title is 'Gay and Lesbian Vocational Guidance Counsellor' he was happy to attend at my request.  He was blown away by our numbers and eagerness to improve things. He even came down the pub after for a few shandies on the hottest day in ten years. I find his job title odd, surely there are more straights than lesbians living with HIV. But that is how HIV is still percieved even by those running an HIV NGO. Can you see how political correctness out trumps the latest empirical clinical data.

Seeing as so few women have responded to this thread so far I have better things to do than fight my corner all day long.

If any do IM me they can look forward to seeing an IMAX 3D showing of Superman ( some say he is gay?) and a picnic in Hyde park. Bring your kids and a frisbee.

Aldous.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2006, 11:39:11 PM by AldousOrwell »

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #28 on: July 20, 2006, 12:36:10 AM »
Please don't even mention my name in something you post.  Frankly, everything you do repulses me from your platitudes of 'i'm sorry' to 'but i apologized' while continue to denigrate us.

At least when I get smacked i shut my damn mouth (deserved smacking at times i agree).

I don't agree with matty's statements, and I certainly am loathe to agree with him in general, but I do.  How long will this go on?
« Last Edit: July 20, 2006, 01:49:44 AM by DingoBoi »

Offline AldousOrwell

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #29 on: July 20, 2006, 08:49:01 AM »
G'day Dingo Boi

Love the animated pic by the way!

I only mentioned your name as you had mentioned mine.

I went to my clinic yesterday and I hope that you will be pleased that I have decided that the best way to improve care and support for straights is push for better things for ALL Poz people. This way I hope I don't come across as homophobic.

They nurse I chatted to was the same guy that took issue with my request for a choice of counsellor and wanted me moved to another clinic. We both decided to reposture our stances in order to achieve our mutual goal.

He was all for displaying Hetero support posters for Str8Talk, and not to place them over any existing gay support ones as some people mistakenly thought I wanted.

We have now printed 25 professionally designed colour posters set to go up around London clinics. These were all done at the personal expense of one more well to do Str8Talk member. I doubt he will be reimbursed. We are having to do the Health Services job for them.

The nurse and I also discussed other general issues like demand outstripping supply. I was told that all patients typically now have a 4 month gap between appointments rather than the government set guideline period of 3 months. I wrote of this gradual erosion in my other thread but it was lost due to sexual political infighting.

My clinic has about 30 ID doctors only a net gain of one as one of the two new appointments is only doing maternity cover. If services were to be kept at last year's level, in terms of caseload per doctor, they should have taken on 7 or 8, as the clinic now has 2500 patients up from 2000.

I have become an AIDS Activist fullstop. I can now see that calling myself a Straight AIDS Activist will be counter productive as it's viewed as devisive. That was never my aim but shit happens.

I think the thing that put peoples backs up was when I assumed all poz people would understand that stigma is stifling constructive debate. I used the 'Good AIDS' and 'Pecking Order' references from OTHER people, to point out that society is sick insofar as it plays into the hands of judgmental and ignorant politicians and media types, who incidentially seem to feel like they also masters of the universe.

Journalism has gone downhill, where are the ones with integrity like John Pilger, Charles Wheeler and David Jessel? It was through their honest reporting and integrity that the Vietnam war was shortened as public opinion was changed. The new breed of media types have been corrupted and now are mere mouthpieces for right wing leaders. If they are not 'on message' they get sanctioned. Look at what happened to Andrew Gilligan who exposed the Dr Kelly, WMD sexed up dossier fiasco.

Perhaps I can start another thread on this issue. I want to start afresh but feel that as soon as others see it's another 'Aldous Fuxley' rant they be automatically turned off and attack me.

I ask for a bit of grace and hope you subscribe to the idea that my enemy's enemy can be my ally. The enemy in this case are the pathetic two faced governments and healthcare providers only following their orders for fear of getting the sack.

Aldous

P.S. When Lindy Chamberlain was finally acquitted she escaped to New Zealand and stayed at her husband's parents farm to avoid the nasty tabloid press. It seemed back then that the Aussie public wanted to believe in a dingo's innocence rather than hers despite the evidence. A bit like the ignorant general public's view that Straights can't catch HIV through unprotected sex, as it suited them.

My aunt was living on the farm nextdoor to the Chamberlains at the time and received calls from such arseholes asking if she had seen anything 'suspicious' as there could be a quick buck in it for her. She sent them off with a flea in their ear. She then got back to preparing homeopathic remedies for her now ailing gay activist positive son as it was pre HAART. It's a small world.

   

« Last Edit: July 20, 2006, 08:51:07 AM by AldousOrwell »

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #30 on: July 20, 2006, 08:52:42 AM »
Please don't even mention my name in something you post.  Frankly, everything you do repulses me from your platitudes of 'i'm sorry' to 'but i apologized' while continue to denigrate us.

At least when I get smacked i shut my damn mouth (deserved smacking at times i agree).

I don't agree with matty's statements, and I certainly am loathe to agree with him in general, but I do.  How long will this go on?

Dingo I am afraid this will go on as long as we let it. For that reason I choose to speak to you and anyone else who cares to listen. The pattern has been set, and is now predictable...if you choose to accept the bait it will continue...if not it stops. For some, any attention is good attention. Hey it's summer...you got that damn Sustiva out of your system...make a blog with London in it...Sam thinks she is a hot little doggy! Enjoy and ignore!

Offline David_CA

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #31 on: July 20, 2006, 09:05:48 AM »
Guys, chill.  It sonds like a bunch of pre-adolescent girls in here!   ;)

David
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Offline kcmetroman

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #32 on: July 20, 2006, 09:07:32 AM »
Aldous,  why don't you mingle in a few other threads?  Every time you are online you hover over this one.  You truly do come across as a troll. 

Great stuff Mr. Activist, although I am not sure how you can do it since you are always perched here.

Offline AldousOrwell

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #33 on: July 20, 2006, 09:33:09 AM »
Hi Metroman

Is that a dingo on your lap or are you just pleased to read my latest posting?

I'll take your advice and those at my group and steer clear of the straight/gay divide in order to add my brainpower to a growing thinktank.

I think if the other posters chose their headings better I would have more of a clue about the threads content. Currently I just click about on all to see what is at the core of their arguments as you can't always judge a book by it's cover. I made that mistake myself.

What would you like me to write about? And can you suggest the best threads to delve into. I was planning on moving away from this Single Mingle thread anyway. I was hovering around it in case any women answered but sadly none have.

Glad to read that WOW, WOW and WOW is sticking with it as I am.

Take care Aldous

Offline kcmetroman

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #34 on: July 20, 2006, 09:40:22 AM »
Perhaps excerpts on the art of humor would be a start.

Yet you still linger.........

No wonder why no women post here.  You have accomplished what you have set out to do.

Offline AldousOrwell

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #35 on: July 20, 2006, 10:16:18 AM »
Hi Metroman

I just posted on the 'Primer for becoming an activist' thread with was full of many pearls of wisdom.

It was about the US situation. I gave a short impression of the UK scene.

I hope others will be mature enough to let me turn over a new leaf as it were and help.

Rather than being accused of being a 'troll' or a 'wolf in sheeps clothing' I can use my atypical HIV positive background and NHS Finance insider knowledge to promote change and engender more mainstream support.

Thanks again for the advice

Aldous


Offline Gilles

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #36 on: July 20, 2006, 11:28:59 AM »
ok
« Last Edit: July 20, 2006, 11:30:40 AM by Mr.Scruff »

Offline Gilles

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #37 on: July 20, 2006, 11:29:56 AM »
k
« Last Edit: July 20, 2006, 11:36:10 AM by Mr.Scruff »

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #38 on: July 20, 2006, 11:37:29 AM »
I hope others will be mature enough to let me turn over a new leaf as it were and help.

Fine Mr. Aldous Orwell. In turning over a new leaf, please strongly consider not adding to this thread anymore. Lets all move forward.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Single Mingle - Poz Hetero Social Club in London !!!!
« Reply #39 on: July 20, 2006, 11:37:38 AM »
I don't understand why people get so abusive and aggressive to the simple thread...sorry i havnt read previous thread...and I don't know background of such an aggitation...but don't you guys have anything else to worry about in your lives?

If you haven't read the previous thread, then of course you would not understand. Today I am worrying about whether or not I made too much money to qualify for ADAP. My caseworker may or may not call today with the news...if I qualify then I sit back and relax...until I have to qualify again in six months. That will give me plenty of time to read all the threads before I comment.

 


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