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Author Topic: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice  (Read 3313 times)

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Offline Garamec

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Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« on: March 14, 2008, 03:44:43 PM »
Sorry for my poor English and detailed description of my sexual interaction in which I think I may be infected. 41 days ago I had sex with a Russian CSW. Oral and vaginal sex was protected. I think I should tell every details. Before any touchings I put a condom properly and my partner started to do oral sex on me.Licking my testicles(which are not covered with condom). Then she started to pull the condom up and up till it is half way just because she thinks I was not going to ejaculate. Then I stopped her and put a new condom and started vaginal sex softly(for not breaking the condom). At the end of the vaginal sex my partner pulled off the condom and masturbated me by licking only the downside of my penis for lubrication not oral sex.On the second encounter I put on the condom and started doing vaginal sex a little bit harder than the one before. When I pulled out my penis from the vagina I realised that the condom, due to loss of erection was a little bit loose from the top. I pulled it sofftly back in order to place it back again and continued doing vaginal sex. Problem is this: Can the vaginal fluid(it was very very few) that accumulates on the bottom of the penis cause an infection when the women was masturbating me without condom? The condoms looked fine when I threw them away but can there be any small holes on it that leads the fluid through?

As you can see everything looks protected. The things that increases my anxiety started 23 days after this sexual relation. I had flu like symptoms ; fever high for one night leading to a night sweat,only once, then the next day and the other day it got better and gone in 2 days.Then coughing started. It was with phlegm. It lasted for two or three days. Then tonsilit started, I had imflammation on my tonsils. I used Antibiotics and it went away in two days. At the 7th day of flu like symptoms I had diarreah lasting one and a half day then leaving itself to soft excretion.Then I had sore throat again and used another pack of antibiotics.Then I had white tongue. Today it has been 17 days having those symptoms. After the first night of high degree fever I am having low fever not exceeding 98.6 and fluctuating day and night from 97 till today. When the fever comes  my hands get cold and I have a burning sensation on my face and ears. Unfortunately yesterday I noticed swollen lymps on my groins and under my chin. They feel a little bit achy and itchy. Not fatigue if we donT count the first 4 days of flu-like symptoms.No rash yet, no womiting, no headaches, no loss of appetite till today. I am really anxious about those matters. If you give me some valuable information about my risk and those symptoms, I will highly appreciate it. I am spending all my day thinking about those and I am about to go nuts. Please

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2008, 03:56:12 PM »
Garamec,

The important thing here is that you had protected sex. You were not at risk of HIV infection and you do not need to test as a result of this encounter. Mutual masturbation (even if there was vaginal fluid on your penis) is not a risk for HIV infection either.

Condoms do not have "small holes" in them which allow the virus to get through. Condoms provide effective protection.

Symptoms mean nothing when it comes to HIV and given that you were not at risk, whatever is making you feel ill it's not HIV. You should see your doctor to determine what is making you ill. Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our Lessons to learn more about how HIV is and is not transmitted.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2008, 04:30:00 PM »
Your symptoms have nothing to do with HIV. You had no risks for transmission during the various activities you mentioned. The main thing as Matty pointed out is that you used a condom for intercourse and the head of your penis was always covered.

If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV. Period. End of story.
Andy Velez

Offline Garamec

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2008, 04:40:21 PM »
Thanks Mr.Velez, your words made me comfortable. Excuse me for my last and the only question. Supposing that I had unprotected anal sex(receptive) with a HIV+ guy. Would those symptoms make sense?
If you think my symptoms are not HIV specific, can you tell me why?

Thanks again to you all.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2008, 07:27:51 PM »
Supposing that I had unprotected anal sex(receptive) with a HIV+ guy. Would those symptoms make sense?

The symptoms would be irrelevant. The only thing that would matter would be the unprotected anal sex. That said, we don't deal in "what-ifs", "just supposes" or other such speculative questions here, so unless you actually had unprotected receptive anal sex with an HIV+ man we've answered all your questions.

Regards,

MtD

Offline Garamec

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2008, 04:26:03 PM »
I plan to get tested tomorrow. It is 6th week. I have a sore throat again and those damned symptoms donT mean to go anywhere.I still feel fever on my face. If someone had told me why those symptoms wonT be ARS supposing that I have a risky situation. Then I would be able to releive my fear and get rid of those symptoms.


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2008, 04:30:30 PM »
They aren't symptoms of seroconversion illness because you were not at risk of infection. You had protected sex, remember?

HIV cannot be transmitted if you have protected sex, therefore you were not infected, therefore you do not have ARS.

It's all very straight forward.

MtD

Offline Garamec

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2008, 04:08:49 PM »
Reading that the average seroconversion is 22 days, and the starting of my flu like symptoms at 23th day, my mind got into real trouble. I am in a desperate situation please tell me smthng about my symptoms. Please don't tell me "it is not ARS because you are not at risk."  Please read my symptoms and compare it with real ARS and tell me the difference if there is some. Only this approach of yours will put my mind at ease. Please donT ignore me. Your help is really needed.

Offline Ann

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2008, 04:14:31 PM »
Gar,

We don't discuss symptoms here as they are meaningless when it comes to hiv infection. Neither the presence or absence of symptoms will tell you your status.

And sorry to disappoint you, but it isn't ARS because you didn't have a risk. That's just the way it is, whether you like it or not.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Garamec

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #9 on: March 18, 2008, 04:24:47 PM »
Gar,

We don't discuss symptoms here as they are meaningless when it comes to hiv infection. Neither the presence or absence of symptoms will tell you your status.

And sorry to disappoint you, but it isn't ARS because you didn't have a risk. That's just the way it is, whether you like it or not.

Ann


Thanks Ann for the quick reply, I know they are meaningless, I know probably my mind is making them real, but can't you say at least only one thing. Is it possible for some symptoms to happen after one week from the other? Do they happen at once or one by one in a period.My tonsils got sore and cured 3 times in a three week period.

I don't want to disturb none of you it is a shame for me but as you can understand I am in a real mess.

Don't you recommend testing? How can you all be that sure.It is impossible to understand that disease.Ok I gave up.End.

Offline Morgan

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #10 on: March 18, 2008, 04:33:27 PM »
Gar,

Symptoms associated with primary hiv infection come all at once, and subside a week or so later.  What you describe is not indicative of infection. (And as Ann said, your activities did not put you at risk).

See your doctor about these health issues.  Focusing on hiv to the exclusion of other causes might be delaying treatment for something you actually were at risk for.

Morgan
Morgan Landers

Offline Garamec

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2008, 07:20:12 AM »
So to everyone that commented patiently on my questions:

1) I used condom for penetrative sex including oral sex that makes my risk zero.

2)Mutual masturbation even if it is involving vaginal fluid is no risk. Keeping in mind that this was my first sexual relationship and I had no STD which will cause open wounds. So I will not be infected from that.Even there was some fluid on the head of my penis I wonT get infected right?

3)If there was a hole in my condom then ıt will be a Hoola hoop as Andy said. So I don't need to worry for that.

4)I had shaved my pubic hair earlier(about 8 hours ago) but there was no bleeding so that doesnT put me at risk.
5)Maybe the csw that I was with had no HIV(which she said she was really scared off)  so that the above statements would be irrelevant.

6)The symptoms that I had after 25 days were because I caught flu from my mother in which she had exactly the same sysmptoms as I had. Mine lasted long because I was stressed and stres made my immune system weaker.And also swollen lymphnodes(they are not visible) after 41 days are irrelevant because ARS comes after 2-4 weeks  and the sypmtoms come all at once and leave all at once.

7) I had no rash when I had fever at the very first day of my flu, and no unusual fatigue for the first 3 days and no fatigue and loss of appetite and still no rash till now.

I know it looks funny but I am trying to convince myself that I wasnT at risk. Reading the things below.Do you agree with them? Is there anything to add? Thanks a lot for everything, You all are really wonderful people.


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2008, 07:25:39 AM »
The information has already been given to you. REREAD IT AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES for it to sink in.

Offline Morgan

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2008, 08:13:57 AM »
Gar,

You seem to have a grasp on the advice you've been given... so you can most certainly deduce that the only thing that remains is your own self induced anxiety over issues that have no basis in the science of hiv infection.

Stop obsessing over things that aren't REAL for you or your sexual health.

Cheer up, you have detailed no risk for hiv infection and have permission to feel relieved and move on.

Morgan
Morgan Landers

Offline Garamec

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2008, 09:39:33 AM »
Thanks a lot Morgan, you helped me a lot. I know my problem. I also know that I have no risk. I have Anxiety disorder and once I was prescribed medicals for that. You all helped me in how to make myself beleive I am not at risk although I knew that I am not at risk. The people like me tend to make their life a piece of hell and I am not happy with it. I am accepting that I am mentally ill. "What ifs" always messed up my life like it did in this situation.

Before getting into this sexual relation I had read many things about HIV and was really careful but as you can see that didn't make any difference because I am here. I think seks out of a dedicated and monogamous relation is not suitable for me. I wish I had never seks with that prostitute. :D

Offline Ann

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2008, 09:55:11 AM »
Gar,

If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you will have read the following:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

This forum is about hiv testing and risk assessment. It is not a mental health forum. Please see your therapist about your anxiety disorder - we cannot help you with that here.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Garamec

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #16 on: March 25, 2008, 03:32:14 PM »
you all said that mutual masturbation and unprotected oral sex is no risk but "Pozmd" here on this forum states that he got HIV from those two. Please let me clarify this. As you know I had protected oral but unprotected masturbation.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2008, 03:41:57 PM »
Let's make it simple for you to understand then,YOU WERE NEVER AT RISK. That's not to hard for you to understand now, is it?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #18 on: March 25, 2008, 05:46:16 PM »
Pozmd is not what we would call a documented case. As you ought to have noted he was asked some questions which were never answered. Again and again what happens in such instances the facts turn out to be murky or otherwise uncertain.

We stand by the position that masturbation is not a risk for HIV transmission. If you want to worry about it there's nothing we can do about that. Test at 13 weeks after your incident if you must for peace of mind and collect the inevitable negative result.
Andy Velez

Offline Garamec

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #19 on: March 25, 2008, 06:13:01 PM »
Maybe you will call it coincidence but it is really a bad one that my flu started at the 23rd day of the possible exposure in which average seroconversion is 22 days and lasted 27 days in which an average lasting of the symptoms is 28 days.I am stuck. Sorry.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2008, 06:23:26 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #21 on: March 25, 2008, 06:34:52 PM »
I'm not calling it anything. We've told you what we know to be so based on lengthy experience and scientific date in the epidemic. You don't have to believe us. You're free to go elsewhere if you think you can get more reliable responses that better suit your needs.

We are not going to continue a back and forth about this. Rod has posted the notice about repetitious questions and remarks. You're on the verge of getting a time out so consider yourself warned.
Andy Velez

Offline Garamec

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #22 on: March 26, 2008, 02:33:10 PM »
Thx Andy so you say confidently that I am not at risk and there is no need to test?

I am attending military service so that is the very last bothering post you hear from me. Beleive me it is.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Another Worried Well Seeking Instant advice
« Reply #23 on: March 26, 2008, 02:58:50 PM »
That's right. No risk and there's no need for testing.

Best of luck with your military service.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

 


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