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Author Topic: newbie  (Read 4836 times)

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Offline loveislovely

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
  • love hurtz
newbie
« on: March 11, 2008, 11:21:05 PM »
 ::) i dont even know where to start... :-\ everything felt surreal...the other half told me "oh i never mess around with those college girls, they are all  _____." Did he not know he was a _____ himself? alright so in JUNE 07 i just had a feeling...i dragged my mom to a clinic located in manhattan(yes my dear mom went with me) and after praying we headed to the clinic and held hands. we get there and surprise surprise, no one but my mom and i are there. i asked the receptionist, "this is for the rapid test, correct?" (i HATE waiting, i remember my first year of college I had to wait 2 long weeks to get the result and that felt like an eternity)..after the paper cut-like rapid test..about 20 mins later...your NEGATIVE. of course i was reliefed but i wasnt in the clear....i tested too early, way too early...i did nothing much but wait around reading these forums..i wasnt going to waste my time(sorry guys) writing, COULD/MAYBE am I positive forum? when the question to myself is..when are you going to get tested instead of playing doctor/social worker and diagnosing yourself? yet i read and read until i decided to go again, i said in the new year ill make it happen..i did and right now although im remaining strong I still do not want to admit that it occurred(hiv + status at 8:30 am January 26 2008).

so yes im in my mid 20s
latina
no children
from the bronx, a place where people lack the courage to go and get tested(i speak the truth because if you all know we have a large number of people living with HIV)
I guess I did have the courage to get tested but now I dont have the stenght to accept it...I know where it comes from..not too long ago my family "disinfected" their home when they found out my cousin was HIV positive...I dont want my soul to be disinfected... :'(

sorry for the crying and for the essay.

J
« Last Edit: March 11, 2008, 11:36:26 PM by loveislovely »
el amor es lo mas RARO que a pudido exsistir..

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: newbie
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2008, 11:24:44 PM »
Love,

Have you had a positive HIV test result yet?

MtD

Offline loveislovely

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
  • love hurtz
Re: newbie
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2008, 11:29:41 PM »
si. i am on lexapro for anxiety and deppression.
el amor es lo mas RARO que a pudido exsistir..

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: newbie
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2008, 11:33:34 PM »
Sorry Love, I must have misread your post.

Welcome to the Forums. :)

MtD

Offline loveislovely

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
  • love hurtz
Re: newbie
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2008, 11:39:35 PM »
thank you matt..im having a tough time :-\
i found out on a weekend where i thought i was going to enjoy myself and i def' did not.
el amor es lo mas RARO que a pudido exsistir..

Offline aliveinla

  • Member
  • Posts: 247
Re: newbie
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2008, 11:42:32 PM »
Don't know what to say... Sorry for what happened to you. Welcome to the forum. Things will get better.
4/24/07: Last tested Neg
1/22/08: First tested Poz
1/30/08: CD4 393; 28%; VL: 44k
3/18/08: CD4 218; 26%; VL: 222K
4/24/08: CD4 402; 26%; VL: lab forgot
7/22/08: CD4 405; 25%; VL: 6,780
10/15/08: CD4 340, 26%; VL: N/A
2/4/09: CD4 394, 26%; VL: N/A
Jun 09: CD4 300, 25%; VL: 4000
Oct 09: CD4 324, 23%, VL: 10K
11/22/09: started Atripla
11/20/11: CD4 405; VL: UD

Offline komnaes

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,893
Re: newbie
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2008, 12:46:27 AM »
Sorry to hear the news J.. but welcome to the forums. I hope you'd find the information/supports you need here, and you should also have noted that there's a special forum for you girls/women.

This is the early stage of my diagnosis and the important thing is to have all proper tests done (CD4, viral, etc) and your numbers monitored. You'd find the information here. Are you receiving the medical attention you need?

HIV is not just a problem with the Latino community, but you guys probably have some issues that are specific - like perhaps religion (being Catholic?). Have you tried to look to support groups?

Hugs, Shaun
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,839
  • Vegas baby!
Re: newbie
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2008, 05:53:05 AM »
Hey Love, sorry we have to meet on such unfortunate terms.  Nonetheless, welcome to the forums.  Please join us in the 'Positive Women' part of this.  There is a dating thread there, where we ladies share our lives & feelings with each other.  It's really great support.
   Luv,
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: newbie
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2008, 04:47:57 PM »
Its a dating thread but we dont use it to date. The ladies use it to chat with each other.

Girls only.

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19562.0

Welcome to AIDSmeds. Sorry you had to join the club.

Wendy

Offline loveislovely

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
  • love hurtz
Re: newbie
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2008, 06:27:25 PM »
thanks everyone for the warm welcome!! i sincerely appreciate it, i hope to learn from you all and to be guided towards a blissful path, one in which allows me to stay focus on the things i love and the person i love the most, myself. I will be visiting the positve women post, thank you for providing the link. hope everyone is doing well.

J
el amor es lo mas RARO que a pudido exsistir..

Offline 31diver

  • Member
  • Posts: 75
Re: newbie
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2008, 02:16:39 AM »
As a recently diagnosed newbie myself, I know how you're feeling. Feel free to write and ask questions. There's a lot of information out there and sometimes it can get overwhelming. All I can suggest is to take your time and digest all the things you're going to learn about living with this.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2008, 02:18:29 AM by 31diver »

Offline sharkdiver

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,350
Re: newbie
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2008, 11:00:41 AM »
Hey Love,

I must say sorry we had to meet you like this, but welcome to the forum. There are many wonderful people on this site and you can probably discuss anything that comes up for you. I' have lived with this for over 23 years and since joining the forum, I feel pretty well connected. It's like a (no, it is) family, it truly is.

hugs,
Sharkie

Offline loveislovely

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
  • love hurtz
Re: newbie
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2008, 07:34:30 PM »
hi everyone!

well i have to say thank you all for your support. i thought i was going to feel alone and with no one who would understand me. thank you all those who have written to me. i appreciate each message/post. :-*
I am going to try my best in the following days to keep a positve mind about being postive. so far i have to admit, ive been doing well, ive already met a few people who are also hiv positive and are extremly supportive. I know things are going to be ok.

with lots of appreciation,
J
el amor es lo mas RARO que a pudido exsistir..

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,839
  • Vegas baby!
Re: newbie
« Reply #13 on: March 15, 2008, 08:29:57 PM »
J, we're still waiting for you to join us in the wome's forum.  We're a good bunch, really.  Good luck to you! :-*
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,761
Re: newbie
« Reply #14 on: March 16, 2008, 06:31:09 PM »
hello there love is lovely,

its always a bittersweet welcome. and don't let the ladies steal you from us!!!! we homos are great company too : )~
hey, the first couple of months are a real bitch. you're off to a good start. im happy to hear you have found other poz people to connect with in your area.

i know this may be a bit premature, but did you notify your partner? it seems from your first post that this person didn't know their status. anyhow, give us a holler! ill save the other jokes/questions for later.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline 31diver

  • Member
  • Posts: 75
Re: newbie
« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2008, 01:20:14 AM »
Hey next,,,,and us straight guys are what? Chopped liver? LOL.
Love, hope all is going well for you, I hope you never stop living, laughing, or loving.

Offline loveislovely

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
  • love hurtz
Re: newbie
« Reply #16 on: March 19, 2008, 07:43:00 AM »
hi everyone,

yes i notified my partner..thats a  must! im doing ok...ive been so busy with things that I hardly have time to think about anything..couldbe a good or bad thing, lol.

J
el amor es lo mas RARO que a pudido exsistir..

 


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