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Author Topic: Beautiful Tragedy  (Read 3450 times)

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Offline Amosboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 156
  • Music is the panacea.
Beautiful Tragedy
« on: March 10, 2008, 10:49:44 PM »
Forum friends,

Life can be extremely unpredictable and can offer up a lot of lessons that one is never ready to learn.  Recently, and ironically the day after my last post, I was brutally assaulted walking to my car in Asheville, NC.  Hence, my most recent absence from here was a huge emotional and spiritual necessity, not to mention the physical recovery.

Briefly, I went to stay at a friend's condo in downtown Asheville while she was away.  I was alone as my partner could not get off for work for the day.  Just a simple one night stay that I have enjoyed many, many times turned horribly wrong in a matter of seconds.

Just like other nights there, I parked my car in the community parking lot, and I ventured out to take in a nice meal and perhaps a nightcap at one of the local Jazz clubs.  As I returned from a wonderful evening out, I approached my car to gather my overnight bag before finally hitting the sack.  It was around 11:00PM and I was approached by a black man just as I opened my car.  He seemed extremely agitated and proceded to pull a "baby blue" aluminum bat from behind his back and held it to my face, requesting money.

That's it!  No memory of any thing else after that brief snapshot, which seemed oddly surreal and right out of a Quinten Tarantino movie.  Three hours must have passed before I woke up dazed and confused.  My car was gone (stolen but recovered "stripped" three weeks later) and I was very disoriented, bleeding badly from my head, but strangely, not in any pain.

I managed to call 911 and was carried to the hospital.  For the next three days, I was sort of in and out of consciousness.  I had been severely beaten with that old "baby blue".  I had two hemorrhages on my brain, a broken nose, a broken arm, my left ear had to be reattached (still struggling with 70% hearing loss), a wisdom tooth was partially knocked out (still dealing with a horrible root canal issue), and my back was covered with about six or seven huge bruises.  I had been bludgeoned an estimated fifteen or sixteen times, and I survived to tell the tale.

As I am always looking for a silver lining, there actually was one.  Believe it or not, my sister, whom I have been estranged from for nearly two decades, put her religion aside and decided that it was time to love unconditionally.  It was such an incredible and unexpected bright spot to what was most certainly the darkest experience of my life.

A month after the incident, I managed to get myself back to work.  Thankfully, I have had no permanent damage to my brain and have not lost any real sense of myself.  I have some bouts with anxiety.  And I must acknowledge that I have a more cautious way about myself.  My rose colored glasses definitely got knocked right off my face, but in the process, I have, yet again, found a way to turn a tragedy into something of more intense beauty. 

I have found a way to look beyond the finite stress of one particular moment and look further beyond into a sea of possibilities of true hope and forgiveness.  Through my recovery, I had to look in the mirror at a badly beaten face and see something deeper in myself that meant more than just the physical frivolity of life and immediate gratification.  I will never pretend to understand the "whys" of what makes other human beings lash out so savagely against others with no apparent respect of the preciousness of life. 

Believe me world.  It's about the here and now of life.  Take the simple goodness of every day and turn it into a supernova of now. 

Brooks
« Last Edit: March 10, 2008, 10:53:23 PM by Amosboy »
"Love isn't love unless it's not painfully absurb."

-Charlotte Martin

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2008, 10:53:55 PM »
Wow, Brooks, I can't believe that this actually happened to you.  I'm glad you're doing alright.  Thank you for sharing your very personal story.

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2008, 10:54:54 PM »
Damn Amosboy!!!! You are lucky to have made it through that. I am sorry about the loss of your hearing but am glad to hear that things are better with your sis. Get Well and I have missed you... :-*
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,310
  • His name is Carl.
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2008, 10:56:32 PM »
Wow.  Brooks, baby....sheesh.  Dunno what to say about all that.  So sorry you received such injuries!  Happy for your silver lining, and happy you are still here with us.

xoxo-

T
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2008, 11:02:50 PM »
Matty the Damned knows your pain Brooks. He was bashed last August. They broke his arm.

Be well,

MtD

Offline Jody

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,821
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2008, 11:04:06 PM »
Brooks...I'm sorry such an awful thing happened to you, hope your recovery is smooth and you get back to normal real soon.

Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2008, 11:06:47 PM »
OMG..I can only say I'm glad you survived such a horrific attack and have been able to share it with us..and while I'm glad to hear you and your sister have overcome your differences I think it's sad that it takes something as awful as this to happen before we realise just how much our family means to us.

It really is good to see you back.

Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline AlanBama

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  • Posts: 3,613
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2008, 11:10:32 PM »
Oh Brooks, I am so sorry this happened to you honey.   I've thought about you a lot and wondered how you were doing.....never got a bad "vibe" that you were ailing though...I wish we had known about it.

I'm happy to hear your sister is being there for you, and I hope you fully recover, not only in body, but in spirit...because I know that was injured too.

Hope you didn't get that pretty face too messed up....

Love & hugs, and glad you are here!

Alan   :-*
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Amosboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 156
  • Music is the panacea.
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2008, 11:12:27 PM »
Thanks for the well wishes guys.  You have to pick yourself up (if you are physically able) and get on with living.  I know it may sound a little odd, but I have taken my CT scans that the hospital so graciously gave me on a disc and started to fuse some of them with my original photography.  It's been a real healing process and of course, I made a series of three CDs to help myself through the whole thing, aptly titled, "Beautiful Tragedies".  Music will forever be my panacea.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2008, 11:17:42 PM by Amosboy »
"Love isn't love unless it's not painfully absurb."

-Charlotte Martin

Offline scud44

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  • Posts: 393
  • I am watching you
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2008, 11:15:57 PM »
I was so shocked to here of this unprovoked attack .
No one deserves this

I hope that time will heal all wounds and that life can be happy once again for you, Brooks
Music will help heal as well
()()()()XXXXXX

From Scuddles
CD4 = 110 - 30 July 2007 - 10%
VL = 139000 - 30 July 2007
CD4 = 252 - 6th August 2007
VL = 16400 - 23rd August 2007
CD4 = 240 - 23rd August 2007
VL = 400 4th Sept 2007
CD4 = 96 - 4th Sept 2007
CD4 = 120 18th Sept 2007
VL = 386000 19th Nov 2007
CD4 = 160 19th Nov 2007
CD4 = 110 10th Jan 2008
CD4 = 311 29th Jan 2008
VL = <50 29th Jan 2008
CD4 = 148 2nd April 2008
VL = 110,000 2nd April 2008
June 2010 and nothing has improved

Offline Amosboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 156
  • Music is the panacea.
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2008, 11:17:00 PM »
Alan,

Scars can be sexy.  That's my take on things and I've got one hell of a story to share with the world.  Things like this become a part of you.  It's a road map of our experiences.  

XOXO

Brooks
"Love isn't love unless it's not painfully absurb."

-Charlotte Martin

Offline komnaes

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,893
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2008, 11:18:25 PM »
Hey Brooks, the important thing is that you're fine now and your sister is back on your side!

I was attacked once like this - the robber was behind my back and his bat missed my head by just an inch. He then just grabbed my backpack and ran. The lesson for me is never again to play music so loud with my iPod while walking down a poorly lit parking lot.

Hugs, Shaun
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline poz1970

  • Member
  • Posts: 480
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2008, 11:29:34 PM »
thats pretty fucked up :-(

Gotta be happy about the silver lining though, blood is thicker than water!


*massive hugs*


J
"The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to  heterosexuals. That doesn`t mean that God doesn`t love heterosexuals. It`s just that they need more supervision." -- Lynn Lavne

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2008, 12:43:11 AM »
holy sh*t! I saw your name on a post ,came in without reading the title, and found this!  I'm glad you were able to survive this , and I'm glad your sister came to her senses.

And welcome back~

Paul
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Dragonette

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  • Posts: 1,190
  • Spring symptoms
    • NotPerfectAtAll
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #14 on: March 11, 2008, 05:12:06 AM »
Wishing you a quick painfree recovery. What you made of this horrible incident is so inspiring, I am awed.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
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Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #15 on: March 11, 2008, 07:04:45 AM »
Wow, Amos.  I am so, so sorry this happened.  You seem to be doing extremely well, given the circumstances. 

I'm glad that your sister has included you in her life again, but like Jan said, it's too bad something like this had to happen for that to occur.

Please take care of yourself baby.  I'm sending all the positive energy your way I can.
  Luv,
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,954
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2008, 08:03:01 AM »
Wow, I'm glad you're okay and wish you the best in recovery.

Hal

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2008, 08:49:40 AM »
Hey Brooks,

That's really scary!  I was wondering where you'd been and assumed it was just you taking a break.  I never would have imagined that it was something as awful as that.  It's amazing what it sometimes takes to reunite family, but at least it happened.  Mostly, I'm just glad you're here to tell us about it.  Welcome back, and quick healing to you.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Texan38

  • Member
  • Posts: 686
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #18 on: March 11, 2008, 10:08:02 AM »
Glad to hear you're ok. What a heartbreaking story yet what a wonderful attitude you have...you're an inspiration.
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #19 on: March 11, 2008, 10:18:10 AM »
Wishing you well, my friend. Its good that you are back and are able to tell us about your incident.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,009
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #20 on: March 11, 2008, 10:47:52 AM »
Wow, that's horrible. I hope you recover quickly. I don't suppose there were any security camera around that might have gotten a picture of the guy? In my hometown no less....  :-[

Offline Iggy

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Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #21 on: March 11, 2008, 11:17:57 AM »
Shit - that is horrible and I'm sorry to hear about this.  I'm glad you are now recovering, but really hate that this happened.

Offline Winiroo

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  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #22 on: March 11, 2008, 03:11:23 PM »
You seem really well adjusted Brooks. I'm sorry you had to experience the ugly side of humanity. I'm glad you are a survivor.

Your fillings are showing 

Keep your chin up.

Wendy

Offline carousel

  • Member
  • Posts: 821
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #23 on: March 11, 2008, 03:51:53 PM »
Brooks

That's terrible.  At the very least you're alive and sounds like you're on the mend.  Onwards and upwards and all that.

Welcome back to this site, you were missed.

Offline gemini20

  • Member
  • Posts: 262
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #24 on: March 11, 2008, 07:44:57 PM »
Brooks,

That was truly an horrific experience you were subjected to and I was really shocked to read about the injuries you have had to endure. It is a testament to you that you found a ‘silver lining’ from this ordeal and I can see how reconnecting with your sister has helped in the healing process.

It didn't surprise me to read that you have found a creative outlet for coping with this experience as I remember your artist side from the contributions you made to the AM Gallery thread. And without music I'm not sure I would have made it thus far so I'm totally with you on that.

I hope you continue to find the simple goodness from everyday – it is a wonderful philosophy to live by and one I aim to achieve each day when I wake up.

Sending you my best wishes for your continued recovery.

Emma
Diagnosed 11th September 1991
Current CD4 count 484 (26%); viral load undetectable (December 2011).
Restarting boosted Prezista 08/04/11

Offline J.R.E.

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  • Posts: 7,124
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2008, 07:59:22 PM »
Brooks,

Sorry to hear what had happenned. I hope they catch the SOB. I wonder how many times he has done this before, and how many more he will injure or possibly kill. I've had a gun help to my head once, when someone came in and robbed me at closing one night, on a previous job years ago. It can be quite a psychological mess to go through.


Take care-----Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 6/4/14,  t-cells are at 423, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 13% 

  
 62 years young.

Offline pozguy75

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Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2008, 08:01:50 PM »
Holy shit Brooks!

I am shocked! Absolutely shocked!

Please, you know where I am...let me know what I can do!
Dx 2005
ATRIPLA

Offline sharkdiver

  • Member
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Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #27 on: March 11, 2008, 09:37:37 PM »
Dear Brooks

I am truly, truly sorry and shocked to what happened to you.  I am also impressed (and for some reason not suprized) that through this horrible experience that you had somewhat of a spiritual awakening.  Sometimes, these major shifts happen when we least expect it and when it appears to be at a time of great tragedy.

If ya need to talk about it,
I am here,

Sharkie

Offline aliveinla

  • Member
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Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #28 on: March 11, 2008, 09:52:35 PM »
I went to Ashville last fall for the foliage and I loved that town. Can't believe something so horrible happened in such a nice little town. I live close to downtown LA where gangs are shooting at each other nowadays innocent people die almost everyday last week. It's so sad that all these happening in America, but yeah, there is always a silver lining.
4/24/07: Last tested Neg
1/22/08: First tested Poz
1/30/08: CD4 393; 28%; VL: 44k
3/18/08: CD4 218; 26%; VL: 222K
4/24/08: CD4 402; 26%; VL: lab forgot
7/22/08: CD4 405; 25%; VL: 6,780
10/15/08: CD4 340, 26%; VL: N/A
2/4/09: CD4 394, 26%; VL: N/A
Jun 09: CD4 300, 25%; VL: 4000
Oct 09: CD4 324, 23%, VL: 10K
11/22/09: started Atripla
11/20/11: CD4 405; VL: UD

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
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Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2008, 12:25:55 AM »
Brooks Dear,

Sonomabeach does know your pain as well.  Mine was some fractured ribs from an unexpected flight down the stairs, invoked from inside the house.  After almost 12 years, I can almost stand the thought of being touched.  However comma my sister is still Holy, full of herself and her opinions.  ;D ;D ;D and... a good L.A. chop shop can take a complete car down to the frame in a few hours.  Welcome back, have the best day
Michael

Offline BT65

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Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #30 on: March 12, 2008, 08:51:39 AM »
Brooks Dear,

Sonomabeach does know your pain as well.  Mine was some fractured ribs from an unexpected flight down the stairs, invoked from inside the house. 
Michael

I also got pushed down a flight of stairs about 7 or 8 years ago.  I ended up having 2 fractured kneecaps and my upper jaw separated, requiring a titanium plate to hold it together.  So far, I haven't gone off going through metal detectors.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline swede_dish

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Re: Beautiful Tragedy
« Reply #31 on: March 12, 2008, 09:32:39 AM »
Dearest Brooks,

I hope you are doing much much better! I am so glad that you are ok after what you've been through...you are a trooper, that is for sure!


-Jennifer
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

 


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