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Author Topic: Tremendous anxiety  (Read 3555 times)

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Offline needassurance

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Tremendous anxiety
« on: March 05, 2008, 05:21:33 AM »
Hello,

I have been extremely anxious and worried about the possibilty of getting infected with HIV. I am an uncircumsized male and I received a handjob from a woman of unknown sexual history (most likely a very highly sexually active). I only proceeded with this because I KNOW receiving hand jobs poses no risk for hiv transmission. However, midway during the act, she briefly touched her wet clitoris and seconds later used the same hand to rub me all over my penis.
What is your professional assessment of risk given all the details? I realize HIV is fragile and tends to damage once exposed to air, but does this translate to no risk AT ALL?
I have been preoccupied with worry over this incident which occured about 24 hours ago and I'm considering going to the emergency room for PEP treatment in case there is EVEN THE SLIGHTEST risk.

I am honestly willing to entirely put this episode behind me if there was NO risk, so please give me your absolute professional opinion on how I should proceed.

I would appreciate a fast response, THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2008, 06:19:02 AM »
You didn't have a risk and no ER is going to give you PEP.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2008, 07:40:13 AM »
You actually really know the answer to this already. It's just that for some reason your mind is churning out scary thoughts, all with no basis whatsoever in HIV science.

There was absolutely no risk whatsoever in this incident. Masturbation is not a risk for transmission, no, not even if her hand was dripping with vaginal secretions. It just doesn't happen that way and never has. You won't make history by becoming the first to become infected in that manner.

There's no cause for further concern nor for PEP nor for testing.

I  do strongly recommend that you read our lesson on transmission. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

Cheers, 
Andy Velez

Offline needassurance

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2008, 01:32:08 PM »
Andy I have read the lessons before. It doesn't address specific situations like I experienced.

I am still in 2 minds whether I should see a doctor for PEP or put this whole thing behind me. They really won't give me PEP if i ask for it?

But Andy, you are absolutely right, my mind does keep churning new scary thoughts and spins on the incident.

I do realize that you are not in the business of deceiving people who are in risk, but honestly, do I really not require testing over this incident?

I dont want to be repetitively posting here like other people, but just looking for some closure.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2008, 01:42:04 PM »
need,

You would NOT be given PEP because you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection. Fingering, whether anal or vaginal, has never been a risk for hiv infection and it never will be either, no matter is you have cuts or hangnails or bitten fingernails.

You did not have a risk. None whatsoever. No risk! NO PEP!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needassurance

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2008, 01:44:02 PM »
Ann,

Apparently you havent read my posting properly. Its not about fingering. Its about a handjob on uncircumsized penis with vaginal fluids. What do u think now about PEP and testing? Please give me a full assessment. I am worried.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2008, 03:14:10 PM »
You still didn't have a risk and no their is NO doctor that would give you PEP for masturbation. If you did not have unprotected anal or vaginal sex or you did not share works with another IV drug abuser then you had no risk.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2008, 03:31:01 PM »
Read this slowly and carefully: It doesn't matter that you are not circumcised and that she lubed your dick with her secretions. That's absolutely a no risk situation for HIV transmission. And no creditable doctor would authorize PEP for this incident.

You are over-the-top with anxiety and all for now reason grounded in HIV science. There was no risk. Get it? No risk.

Get on with your life and lay off of all this drama. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2008, 04:20:11 PM »
need,

Sorry, after a while sometimes, all you guys start to sound alike with your no risk incidents.

That's right, no risk. Masturbation of any sort, whether it be fingering or getting wanked off, none of it is risky for hiv infection. Not even when you use each others sexual fluids for lube.

You didn't have a risk and no doctor in their right mind would prescribe you PEP just because she touched her clit while giving you a handjob. You didn't have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needassurance

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Concerned about exposure
« Reply #9 on: March 29, 2010, 05:40:21 AM »
Hello,
I had asked some questions on this forum a few years ago which I found very helpful. Its unfortunate that I have to be back here, but I'm relying on your kind help and information again.

I'm male and a few weeks ago I had an incident (under influence of alcohol, which really disappoints me) with a girl who I had just met - who I later found out is highly promiscuous - not being judgemental here but trying to give a more complete picture. She is bisexual and regularly engages in threesomes and foursomes. I know that doesn't mean anything concrete, but it does worry me nevertheless.

I am uncircumsized which also worries me since I know there is higher risk of transmission when there is foreskin. Essentially, I fingered her, and used the SAME hands to put the condom on myself, we had very brief protected sex, but later she manually removed the condom and rubbed my unprotected penis around her vagina and between her legs for a minute or less - this last part is the part that worried me the most.

1)What is my risk of exposure here?
2) I want to test as soon as I can get a result that I can rely on.  I have heard that testing at 6 weeks is pretty definitive in most people. What is the exact statistics here? Is it like 95% of people that are going to eventually test positive will do so in 6 weeks?
3) Not to undermine your expert opinion but I was wondering about something. When you give an assessment of no risk or little risk (which is very often) is this because you have also factored in the low probability that the persons sex partner is actually positive? Or do all your responses to risk quetions ASSUME that the partner in question is positive? I think this is an important point, and I would appreciate if you could elaborate.

Thanks again, I look forward to hearing from you. I have been very anxious and distracted this past few weeks and want to test as soon as possible.

Kind regards,











Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Concerned about exposure
« Reply #10 on: March 29, 2010, 06:35:52 AM »
Please keep all your thoughts questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and give you the most accurate advice.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the red link I have posted above. Alternatively you can use the "Show own posts" link which appears in the uppermost left hand column on any forum page.

Your questions will not be answered unless you return to your original thread

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines.

MtD

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #11 on: March 29, 2010, 09:10:32 AM »
I've merged your threads. Please keep all of your entries in this same thread.

Once again you are worrying needlessly. HIV is a fragile virus. It is absolutely not transmitted through fingering, rubbing, masturbation with vaginal fluids and any other such details you can throw into the mix. The only cofirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. You used a condom for intercourse. Perfect. You were protected. All of the other stuff is only theoretically a risk. In the real world of HIV we know risk is about unprotected intercourse.

You are worrying needlessly and your having a foreskin doesn't change the non-risk of your incident.

Get on with your life and keep using those condoms everytime for intercourse.
Andy Velez

Offline needassurance

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #12 on: March 29, 2010, 02:23:20 PM »
Hi Andy,
Thanks for your response to my first question.
Could you please answer the other two questions that I have asked, its pretty important for me
to have an answer for those. I'd really appreciate that.

Even though you are calling this a non-risk incident and my understanding was that its low risk, I need and want to test as soon as I can be assured that I'm negative, for my own sanity. Can you tell me what the predictive value of testing at 6 weeks is? What is the exact statistics, if there are any?

I really hope I don't sound like an uninformed worrier, I do realize risk is low, but the woman's sexual history and my intoxicated state at the time increase my concern.

Thanks again.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #13 on: March 29, 2010, 03:04:00 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Online Andy Velez

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #14 on: March 29, 2010, 03:15:16 PM »
We always evaluate a situation with the presumption that the other person is HIV+. And you should too in whatever you do sexually. That is, take the necessary precautions in relation to what you do on the assumption that you are having sex with someone who is HIV positive. Which means always without exception using condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse.

The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure to the HIV virus. That means if you get a negative at 6 weeks it very strongly indicates you will continue to test negative at 13 weeks.

In your case testing is strictly for your peace of mind since you did not have a risk. Which means a negative result is a slam dunk for you. 
Andy Velez

Offline needassurance

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #15 on: March 29, 2010, 09:07:25 PM »
Thank you Andy. All the best to you.
Regards.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #16 on: March 30, 2010, 08:55:46 AM »
You're welcome.
Andy Velez

Offline needassurance

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #17 on: April 06, 2010, 09:15:04 PM »
Andy
(and anyone else who can answer),
I'd hate to make this more difficult that it has to be and I appreciate all your previous answers, they HAVE been reassuring.
But, can you give me a sense of what you mean by "all but the smallest number" numerically? I would just like to know whether its 90%, or 95%, or 99.9% of people who's test result don't change between 6 and 13 weeks. Are their any results from any studies in this regard?

Again, I just want to know how certain a result after 6 weeks can be - how assured can I be if, god willing, I get a negative result at 6 weeks.

Thanks.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #18 on: April 06, 2010, 09:31:08 PM »
When we say all but the very smallest number we mean just that. We don't like to get into quantifying numbers and %. But with the increased sensitivity of the tests now being used, we're talking a very small fractional number seroconverting after 6 weeks. And even though you don't seem to be able to believe it, you weren't at risk to begin with and so a negative at 13 weeks is a slam dunk for you.     
Andy Velez

Offline needassurance

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #19 on: April 10, 2010, 03:43:37 AM »
Hi Andy,

Again, thanks for your response. I just wanted to know if small number means 10%, or 2%, or like 0.01%. But it appears that you don't want to get into numbers, which is fair. I just understand that it to be a very small proportion of people (whose status changes 6 weeks post-incident).

I have a question regarding testing accuracy. In my area, there is a new Rapid HIV blood test (so not  an oral swab etc - its a finger prick blood test) and I'm more eager to make use of that instead of the standard ones where they send the blood sample to a central lab and make clients wait about 10 days for results. I was wondering - is there any difference in the sensitivity of the rapid blood test compared t the conventional ones (keeping in mind that I want to test 44 days post-incident)?

Thank you for your attention and patience.
Kind Regards.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #20 on: April 10, 2010, 03:48:36 AM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Tremendous anxiety
« Reply #21 on: April 10, 2010, 09:02:19 AM »
The Rapid test is an approved test and yields a reliable result.

We're not going to get into a % or numbers game with you here. As I have already told you, I expect you to test negative since you didn't have a risk to begin with despite what your mind is telling you to the contrary.

While you are waiting to test you need to get focused on other things in your life. And don't bother saying you're too worried to do that because I can tell you that response won't fly here. If you continue to return over this non-risk incident you are very quickly going to find yourself getting a 28 day Time out from this site.

No risk! Testing is only for your peace of mind and not because you had a genuine risk. Get it?
Andy Velez

 


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