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Author Topic: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...  (Read 8171 times)

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Offline Ann

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #50 on: March 10, 2008, 11:09:27 AM »
 

Enough already.

Agreed. Enough already. Tim, Betty, Philly, if what Dan posts in his threads bothers you, don't read the thread. There. It's that simple. Leave him alone already.

Yes, you're all warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mjmel

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #51 on: March 10, 2008, 11:44:22 AM »
Dan, if you can work in a law office you can find the intelligence and resourcefulness to bring your current dilemma under control. If you put your mind to it I bet you will succeed.
I don't know your folks personally but I do know they love you and whatever is going on at the present--well, I don't think we have the whole picture here. I know this because I was able to read a post you wrote, posted, then retracted it shortly afterwards. But what you wrote then touched my heart at how much they cared about you.
 
Don't let your car be repossessed if you can help it because as you well know it'll ruin your credit.
Acquiring meds is problematic for you both in the relocating senario. He, if he moves here. You, if you go there. So it's not an option at this time. Maybe later, eh? By solving this problem you are encountering now, you show your abilities at problem solving and then guarantee there will be a time of reunion for you and Hermie, if your heart is set on this.

At about 38 years of age I had to take a job as a dishwasher in a small Greek restaurant in Denver, Colorado. Sheesh!. It was not fun and I felt it was demeaning. Hated it. But I did it till I found a job more suited to my skills. That took two months. As you may suspect, yes, I put myself in the position of having to wash dishes through my own rash behavior when quiting a job I had grow to dislike. Actually, it was the people I disliked not the job itself. There was nothing to be done but suck it up and earn some wages. No one else was going to take care of me. So just to let you know, all kinds of folks go through mundane stuff at a time in their lives when they surely didn't expect to do so. I suppose you already know this but think of this paragraph as a reminder.

I wish you strength and wisdom. However, I believe you already have those qualities. Use 'em.
Determined not discouraged.
Then, you can recall this thread as Growing Pains.  ;)

Mike
« Last Edit: March 10, 2008, 11:47:39 AM by mjmel »

Offline Iggy

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #52 on: March 10, 2008, 12:06:59 PM »
Dan,

I know what you are going through and I have felt it acutely myself in the past, and am dealing with it to a small degree right now in my own job search.

I call it going Tharn which is a term from the novel Watership Down and is used to explain the moment a rabbit freezes in the road when a car's headlights hit it; it knows it needs to move and even how to move, but somehow it just can't.

There is no easy answer for this feeling and I disagree with those who have offered you certain advice - only because sometimes it just doesn't work as easy as doing anything - sometimes there are other factors that are not apparent to others.  If you need acknowledgement of that - you have it from me.

However, that said, I do agree with the intentions of most here and that you can't just remain in Tharn mode as sooner or later that metaphoric car is going to hit you.  I don't know what you can do to get out of it outside of make certain that you understand that what you are feeling right now is as dangerous as the actual lack of a job. 

The only practical advice I offer in relation to the above is to get offline a little bit.  The computer can be a debilitating crutch in many ways that enables one to remain stuck, and if nothing else, taking this simplest action sort of reinforces in your mind that you can affect changes in your world and that you have some control. 

Good luck with the job search and keep looking - it is hard - but it is worth it.

Dan J.

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #53 on: March 10, 2008, 01:50:38 PM »
I need to step away from the keyboard because I am about to go off on all of you. But not Iggy & Mike who seem to be the only people in this thread can offer any type of support.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2008, 02:24:43 PM by Dan J. »

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #54 on: March 10, 2008, 10:18:10 PM »
I am a bit surprised by some of the color commentary on here. I have to wonder is it advice being given or just beating someone down even further? I am a believer in handing down some "tough love" but I think it truly depends on the circumstance. Do any of us know personally what Dan is going through? I would think the person who would truly be close to knowing all the details of the matter other than Dan would be Hermie and even then not really because Hermie is not living it but knows it from what Dan shares with him. What some of you consider being tough love can actually throw someone deeper into depression if they are already feeling depressed. Damn, I had a Dr. Phil moment there but then again just puffed on a doobie... ;D

I do think that maybe Dan's parents may be trying to push him out the door by not giving him the information he needs. Not sure if you looked at it this way, Dan. It does amaze me that your parents allowed you to live with them that long. You don't see that too much. But I think that something definitely has to give in your situation, YOU have to try something and not give up. I am thinking of you and rooting for you too.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #55 on: March 10, 2008, 10:36:08 PM »
Dan, you can come live in my townhouse with me in Maryland.  :)  There is a great Health Department here (with docs from Johns Hopkins in Baltimore) and you can go to my support group with me on Friday nights, where 95% of the attendees are gay men.  ;)

All funniness aside, I was unemployed last year for about 7 months.  I have a college degree and took a job doing DATA ENTRY (yuk!!!!) last December, with kids 15 years younger than me.  Not moving all day caused my injured neck to become quite aggravated, so I pooled my resources.  I called my old recruiter and the planets aligned.  I now have a great new job in Potomac, Maryland, just outside of DC, counting millions of dollars that aren't mine, lol. 

I will put my favorite quote to self in here, I tell it to all of my GFs in the Dating Thread....

"No one will ever know you exist unless you try."

I know you're tired, I know you're beat and worn down, I know you miss Hermie like hell.  Take baby steps and start earning a little money.  Although it may not be enough cash at first, just by getting out into the workplace and socializing and networking, that in itself will ultimately lead you to where you need to be (but you can always come mow my lawn ;)  ).

I'm a firm believer in that.  Yes, I am.  :)

Prayers for you, tonight, my friend.

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: March 10, 2008, 10:39:04 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Dan J.

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #56 on: March 13, 2008, 08:56:17 PM »


I do think that maybe Dan's parents may be trying to push him out the door by not giving him the information he needs.

Yes, my parents are wanting me to move into my own place & I NEED to do it! Not because they want me to, but because it's time I had my own home. Right now, that just isn't possible unless I LIVE in my car! I have plenty of available credit (paid off cards with 0 balances) Right before I left for Europe in December I received a debt consolidation loan  so now instead of 3 credit card payments a month I have one. I did use my card to  pay the deducible on my auto insurance to get the Civic fixed.  My "economic stimulus $ "or at least 1/2 of it is already spent. I will use the remainder to pay my medicare part b premium & hopefully by then I will have a part time job to cover that expense. . Yesterday I had an interview with Sears for a part time (20 hours a week) position in the cash office. Hopefully, I will hear something soon.

Herman and I did not break up 7 days ago. When I left him in Belgium on January 23rd I knew that it would be a long, long time before he and I could possibly be together again. I felt that ending relationship as lovers and stay friends was the best thing for both of us. He needs someone in Gent & I need someone here in TN. The reason I said I doubted we were ever truly together was because seeing each other once or twice a year for a few weeks didn't really "count' as a real relationship to me, but I was wrong.  Yeah, I could use those cards to buy meds, but my budget is so tight I really don't want to use the card unless I know I will be able to make a payment.

When all my ducks don't line up in a row like I want or need them to be I get frustrated, and depressed..   I have been looking for another job since March 06 when I reopened my Voc Rehab case. My job working for the law firm from home ended on Sept 13 2007. I get out everyday and apply for jobs, & follow up on previous applications.  I am getting very discouraged because I haven't found anything.  I don't spend all day on the computer surfin' the web or reading the forums no offense to those that do but I find all of that to be very boring.

So, I can understand why my saying fuck it all I'm giving up ruffled some feathers and I am truly sorry for that.

I am not going to "pack up my toys" and go home, but I'm not going to be hangin' around here too much either. It doesn't do me or anyone here any good.

See ya when I see ya
« Last Edit: March 13, 2008, 09:53:10 PM by Dan J. »

Offline BT65

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #57 on: March 13, 2008, 09:07:18 PM »
D Herman to "take care of me" because Danny pays his own way. I found that remark by Betty to be rude and insensitive. Would you have said the same thing if it  we were a straight couple? I don't think so.
I

Give me a frickin' break already.  I'm a self-proclaimed lesbo when it comes to relationships.  No, you saying I wouldn't say it if you were in a 'straight' relationship is just an excuse to try to justify some of your meandering on & on. 

I apologize to the mods if this seems offensive, but when someone makes a wrong judgement call about me, I like it to stand corrected.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline joemutt

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #58 on: March 14, 2008, 01:01:31 AM »
Dan, I hope you will manage to break away from your parents,
it seems to be the most essential part to get some of your problems solved. (though life will always spit up enough new problems and I think you have been courageous in solving what you could in the past few years). So that's my wish for you.

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #59 on: March 14, 2008, 12:08:58 PM »
Ever heard of this?


TN SHIP, TN Commission on Aging & Disability
Helpline: 877-801-0044 Toll-free

Website: http://www.state.tn.us/comaging/ship.html

It says TN SHIP counselors must have least 18 hours of training, which sounds okay. So consider calling them - It's toll-free anyway.

Quote
In Tennessee, SHIP operates through the state's nine Area Agencies on Aging & Disability (AAADs). These agencies offer a variety of services besides SHIP, all aimed at helping persons who are elderly and/or have disabilities to live better lives. SHIP is funded by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), an agency of the federal government under the Department of Health & Human Services

Still keeping my fingers crossed for you.


Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #60 on: March 14, 2008, 12:47:39 PM »
Dan----

You do what you can, ok? Trust, I know about frustrations of things not going the way you want them and it causing you to be depressed. I have my own issues going on but for now they are on the back burner because I am helping a friend. If there was anything I could do to help you, know w/o a doubt I would. I know it is not easy trying to make it on your own when there is nothing out there to give you a "hand up instead of a hand out".

I am one of those ones who surf the web, day in and day out but that will soon change too once it gets warmer and folks won't be seeing too much of me either. Remember change is good no matter how small the change may be. Love ya to pieces.. :-*
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

 


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