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Author Topic: am I at risk?  (Read 2951 times)

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Offline serpentinefire3

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am I at risk?
« on: February 26, 2008, 07:50:24 PM »
I'm a gay male.  About a month ago (30 days today), I met someone off of a hookup website.  I am in the process of trying to get over my first LTR (2 years) and it wasn't the best move on my part, I admit.  Anyways, I live in NYC (Staten Island) and this man claims he's bisexual.  Before meeting him I asked for his status, and he said he was negative, tested in August.  When I met up with him and one thing led to another, I asked him again, and he told me the same thing and made sure I was negative too (tested in December after no sex for 5 months, negative).  Anyways, I ended up going down on him, no ejaculation, but there was precum.  What worries me is that I didn't realize it at the time, but I had actually burned my tongue at dinner just before (like 3 hours before), not bad, badly, which is why I wasn't really cognizant of it, but the next morning, I noticed it, it was even bleeding a little (I'm guessing because my mouth gets very dry overnight).  Said man assures me that he is negative, but I'm a little worried.  I've never even had a legitimate hooked up before, and I'm not sure if he's met other this way. 

Anyways, 30 days later, no symptoms, except that I've had two pimple-like cysts form right behind both of my earlobes, not sure if they're inflammed lymph nodes.  I know tho, from reading the boards that symptoms or no symptoms is of no indication of HIV infection.  I tested at day 25--negative, but not sure if I should test again.  A doctor on another forum said I didn't even need testing to begin with, that there was no risk.  what do you think?

Online Andy Velez

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2008, 10:28:50 PM »
Your symptoms are not in any way suggestive of HIV. But then you need to know for future reference that neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. If you have had a really risky incident such as unprotected intercourse, then getting an HIV test at 13 weeks is the only way to realiably know your HIV status.

As for your concern about sucking this fellow you met recently, I don't see any cause for concern. Yes, there have been the occasional reports of transmission through giving a guy a blowjob. They consistently have not stood up to careful scientific examination. By contrast, longterm studies with sero-discordant couples, both gay and straight, who had lots of mutual unprotected oral and lots of protected intercourse have resulted in not one sero-negative partner becoming infected. Your saliva has a number of elements which effectively prevent HIV from being transmitted.

Nevertheless fears continue to crop up about giving oral as a means of transmission. So for me it comes down to deciding what your comfort level is and what level of risk you are willing to accept since anytime you have sex with another person there is theoretically some risk.

In this instance I don't see cause for concern nor for you to get tested. If your symptoms trouble you that's something to discuss with your doctor.

After the breakup of a relationship all kinds of feelings get stirred up and you can be very vulnerable to impulsive and uncharacteristic behavior. If you haven't already done so you might consider seeing a therapist or counselor to get support with working through some of your emotional  issues.

Bottom line: I dont' see this as an HIV situation.

Andy Velez

Offline serpentinefire3

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2008, 05:24:48 PM »
This is gonna sound like a weird question...but where is the groin?  It's such an ambiguous area, and well, I'm having some faint pain near my testicles and my perenium, kinda where it meets the leg.  Is that the groin area?  When I search online, it says the groin is like the lateral sides of your pelvis...so, i'm not sure.  It sounds like I'm symptom shopping, and I probably am, but it's just a general curiosity too.

Offline Ann

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2008, 04:22:52 AM »

The term "groin" is rather ambiguous - it generally refers to where your legs join your torso as well as the genital area.

If you're having pain anywhere in your body, you need to see a doctor. Nobody can diagnose you over the internet. However, I CAN tell you it's nothing to do with hiv.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline serpentinefire3

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2008, 08:20:49 PM »
Negative result (Oraquick) at 39 days (6 weeks).  I'm moving on.  Thanks for your help.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2008, 10:35:45 PM »
Good move. Because you were worrying needlessly about HIV.
Andy Velez

Offline serpentinefire3

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2008, 04:36:42 PM »
I know you guys are gonna really kick me in the butt, but...

Well, It's been 90 days past my "scare."  Anyways, I've been having problems with my right eye lately and just got diagnosed with having Herpes Simplex of the eye.  I asked him what could have caused that, and he said that my immune system was probably compromised in some way that activated the virus in my eye.  As soon as I heared compromised immune system, I started freaking out. 

Anyways, my last was at 80 days past the incident, and it was negative.  Do you think I should back for more testing?

thank you. 

Online Andy Velez

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2008, 11:21:00 PM »
No, I don't see any need for further testing. Just don't know if you are going to believe me or not.

The herpes issue doesn't in any way affect the reliability of your test result after an incident which was risky mainly in theory rather than in actuality.

This is NOT an HIV situation. Really.
« Last Edit: April 28, 2008, 08:34:30 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline serpentinefire3

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #8 on: April 27, 2008, 05:39:49 PM »


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