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Author Topic: Porn Saturated Populace Demand New Orifice  (Read 718 times)

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Offline Denver Toad

  • Member
  • Posts: 152
Porn Saturated Populace Demand New Orifice
« on: February 27, 2008, 04:56:17 PM »
Porn Saturated Populace Demand New Orifice
WASHINGTON— Jaded by the sight of what it deemed "run-of-the-mill" orifices, the nation's pornography-saturated populace released a statement Monday demanding a new bodily opening to leer at. "At this point, staring at an anus, vagina, or beckoning mouth has become so commonplace that it is no more titillating than ogling, say, the human elbow," the statement read in part, its list of demands specifying that the new orifice, wherever its location on the body, must be concealed by some sort of clothing or shroud during the majority of the day, so that the viewer grows more eager for its eventual revelation when its covering is seductively removed. "If at all possible, we'd prefer some sort of self-moistening orifice that grips tightly enough to constrain fingers and foreign objects, but also gapes wide enough to fit a human head." According to pornographic historians, there hasn't been a public outcry like this since 1989, when the nation's mainstream pornographic-film industry pacified its audience by unveiling the first penetrable asshole.

From The Onion…
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

Offline TicTicBang

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
  • ALL OVER YOU
Re: Porn Saturated Populace Demand New Orifice
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2008, 05:05:12 PM »
Just image how awful we would have it if we walked around half naked like people on the beaches of Brazil.
 :-\



Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,413
Re: Porn Saturated Populace Demand New Orifice
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2008, 10:27:01 PM »
Porn Saturated Populace Demand New Orifice
WASHINGTON— Jaded by the sight of what it deemed "run-of-the-mill" orifices, the nation's pornography-saturated populace released a statement Monday demanding a new bodily opening to leer at. "At this point, staring at an anus, vagina, or beckoning mouth has become so commonplace that it is no more titillating than ogling, say, the human elbow," the statement read in part, its list of demands specifying that the new orifice, wherever its location on the body, must be concealed by some sort of clothing or shroud during the majority of the day, so that the viewer grows more eager for its eventual revelation when its covering is seductively removed. "If at all possible, we'd prefer some sort of self-moistening orifice that grips tightly enough to constrain fingers and foreign objects, but also gapes wide enough to fit a human head." According to pornographic historians, there hasn't been a public outcry like this since 1989, when the nation's mainstream pornographic-film industry pacified its audience by unveiling the first penetrable asshole.

HUH????  I don't get it?  I must be having a brain fart.

From The Onion…

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Offline 404error

  • Member
  • Posts: 431
Re: Porn Saturated Populace Demand New Orifice
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2008, 11:39:31 PM »
Quote
Just image how awful we would have it if we walked around half naked like people on the beaches of Brazil

I think we'd have it better.  With all that pressure to look good, obesity rates would likely plummet.  I wish I lived in Brazil.
A social critic who promotes equality...

 


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