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Author Topic: Problems....  (Read 2871 times)

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Offline needhelptoday

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Problems....
« on: August 17, 2011, 04:52:29 PM »
Put simply on 7/13 or 7/14, I was in LV on a business trip.  Too much to drink.  Departed from an adult entertainment business early in the morning and it was suggested by the cab driver that they could connect me with a woman.  Turned out to be a massage parlor.  In one of the rooms we had sex.  She was asian and did not say much -- which also has me worried (as things like Hep and HIV are more prevalent in developing countries).  I thought she put a condom (but now I am beginning to wonder if something went wrong) on at the very beginning for foreplay then did her business both above and then me on top at the end.  In the end it was very brief as I was not in good shape.  When i got back to home from the trip two to three days later, I had three mornings where I woke up and was very sweaty, running hot.  I honestly thought it was "detox", my body trying to handle the excessive alcohol.  Then things settled for a bit, not that i was 100%.

As of now, I have had headaches quite bit (solely right side for several days), sore lymph nodes (armpits for past few days) -- these worry me the most as they becoming very persistent, back pain on and off (past few days), of and on nausea (for over a week now), pain in my upper right side of my stomach (over a week), chest pain again fairly persistent, runny nose (sneezing every once and a while), dry/itchy eyes (consistent), etc.  Am really flipping out.  Bad panic attacks.

The next big mistake: I thought I was okay at first and that I was recovering from drinking and had unprotected sex twice with my finance twice since then because I thought everything was okay.  She's worried about me, I am feeling terrible both physically and mentally.  I don't know what to do?  I don't know if I have HIV, Hepatitis (I did get two out of three shots back in '07 for a trip aboad, but never finished the vaccine), etc.

I did go to my personal doctor yesterday, and he tested me for everything and stated that for some of the tests I would need to retest at the 90 day mark.  One point I do need to make I carry an std (genital warts) which I believe makes it easier to catch other STDs including Heb and HIV.  I did notice several very small ones on the shaft of my penis.  Decided to sign up for antibuse for the alcohol + get xanax for sleep + see a pysch because this has been a repetitive problem in the past that for some reason I am unable to overcome.  Drinking + bad decision making skills.   Self destructive behavior.

Net/net quite worried.  Any feedback outside of testing which is what I am proceeding with?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2011, 05:03:51 PM »
If a condom was worn, obviously there was no risk insofar as HIV is concerned. If one was not, then there was, obviously a risk. Smaller than unprotected anal sex, but a risk nonetheless.

Most if not all sex workers insist on condoms and are expert at using them. This is not to protect YOU from THEM, but the other way around, of course.

If you honestly do not think you wore a condom, then I urge you to refrain from unprotected sex with your fiancee until you test reliably negative, 12 weeks past your incident.

However, I would bet dollars to donuts your sex worker used a condom. It would not be prudent for her to forego that.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline needhelptoday

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2011, 05:12:22 PM »
Thank you for your response.  I remember her putting it on, but you know how your mind can play pretty bad tricks on you when guilt is involved.  You start believing what you read and then it get's out of control.  In terms of protection, I take it condom protection is not absolute, correct?  But highly protective.  If I was going to pick up anything quickly it would more likely be something like Chlamydia, etc.  Does that sound right?  Am still going to get a third vaccine for Hep B as a precaution moving forward, but wait until after all of the tests are finished.  thx.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2011, 05:21:55 PM »
There is no way you can get HIV from a condom. Other pathogens, like chlamydia and syphilis and the like, are far more robust and do not require contact with your urethra in order to infect.

Some of those other STDs are asymptomatic, especially in males. It might be a good idea to get a full panel done before you have unprotected sex with your fiancee, do avoid a possibly very awkward and expensive conversation.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline needhelptoday

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2011, 06:16:06 PM »
I will move ahead with this.  Question.  Any comments on random aches/pains (feet, hands, thumbs, arms) and the rest of the stuff I mentioned?  Could most of this just be stress?  My mind playing with me.  Am going to get some Xanax to calm down now.  Thank you again.  This is a very difficult, awkward time.  On one hand I want to tell my fiance and on the other, I doubt she will ever forgive me.

Offline needhelptoday

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2011, 06:16:52 PM »
Definitely abstaining from sex regardless moving forward. 

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2011, 06:28:25 PM »
Symptoms are in no way an indicator as regards HIV infection.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline needhelptoday

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2011, 08:59:09 AM »
Sorrry to bother you.  A couple of quick questions if you would be so kind.  How well does a condom protect against Hep B/C?  Also I hear understand your comments regarding symptoms (seems to be the prevailing thought throughout the forum), but my armpits (both under and around the front) really hurt and I have done nothing physical to have this effect....am quite worried.  Still get bouts of nausea, heaches, pain under the right rib cage, some weird itchiness on my leg, etc.

The other thing that has me worried is if my preexisting condition made this scenario that much more risky.  I know I am beating a dead horse.  Hopefully getting results back by COB today/sometime tomorrow.  Until then I am on Xanax at home.  Can't go to work like this.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2011, 09:55:56 AM »
I will caution you against "spilling the beans" to your fiance. There is a big difference between being honest in a relationship and just dumping to relieve your anxious feelings. Once said things can't be unsaid. You have to decide which is true for you.

Taking into account all that you have said I am expecting you to test negative.


Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2011, 10:19:18 AM »
Need,

Why are you having unprotected intercourse with your fiancée when you have genital warts? Are you aware that genital warts are caused by a virus called HPV (Human papillomavirus) and HPV causes cervical cancer in women? You need to continue using condoms until such time as you have been treated for the warts. She also needs to see her gynecologist to find out if she also needs to be treated for warts. She may have them internally, so it's vital that she is checked out.

Like Andy and Jonathan, I also fully expect you to test hiv negative. But get those warts sorted out and quit exposing your fiancée to your warts!

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needhelptoday

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2011, 02:01:41 PM »
I will and she is aware + did see a dr.  Need to check with her regarding whether or not they had her get vaccinated.  Apologies for not clarifying.

Offline Ann

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2011, 09:40:02 PM »
Need,

The HPV vaccination does not guard against all strains of HPV. Stop having unprotected intercourse while you have warts.

You know what - people like you really piss me off. You're so worried about hiv - but at the same time you freely admit to spreading HPV. Grow up.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needhelptoday

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  • Posts: 14
Re: Problems....
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2011, 02:29:07 AM »
Anne,

My apologies.  My actions are due to my ignorance/lack of understanding.  When you stated what you did I did some research.  I will do this moving forward, although moving forward I am not sure is in the cards for me.  I need to explain to her what happened with what I described above. 

Here's the latest, and it's really not good.  I did get my results back and they were clean and yet, I am getting worse.  Today I had cramps in my legs (I never get them), pain in my hands (it felt like cramping/shooting), headaches, running nose, pain/discomfort from my armpits (I have had this for over a week) and when I got home to make dinner I had a terrible bout of nausea.  When I got into bed a I took a sleep aid, got more nauseas so much so I had to call my doctor who prescribed something for my head and stomach. 

Right now I am half awake feeling very ill typing this -- thinking about my health (lack thereof and nothing but bad things ahead of me) and more importantly the beautiful woman in my bedroom that I have to inform that I may have hurt forever inadvertantly. 

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Problems....
« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2011, 07:14:20 AM »
Need,

If you feel unwell, SEE a doctor, don't just ring him up.

The main thing you need to worry about regarding your girlfriend is the warts. From what you describe, what happened in Vegas needs to stay in Vegas. You used a condom - you know you did - so stop letting your fevered, guilty imagination run away with you.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needhelptoday

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  • Posts: 14
Re: Problems....
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2011, 10:59:48 PM »
Ann,

Many thanks for your patience.  Here's a question for you -- one that I did not notice until I self examined myself, but I will be honest, it was not the day after, nor the week after, it was a few days going to my doctor.  I noticed multiple, I guess you would call them small warts (two to three on the shaft of my penis, one on the inside of my leg (almost at the crease if you will between your leg and your lower back).  I did not mention this before on this forum and should have (I guess I am ashamed or just am not thinking clearly).  Also I will be honest, I remember the woman put the condom on, I remember having sex, don't clearly remember the end (I would assume she took it off and that was that).  Any thoughts?  I know I am going around and around this, but am stressing badly.  Thank gosh for the Xanax or I would really be in hospital in the mental ward by now.  Your feedback would be most appreciated.  thx.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Problems....
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2011, 07:08:24 AM »
Need,

You used a condom. Sex workers use condoms to protect themselves, not you, the customer, so you can bet the farm that if anything went wrong with the condom, she would have said something. You need to stop over-thinking this and get on with your life. The presence of warts does not change your hiv risk assessment. And that assessment is that you had NO HIV RISK.

Now get your warts sorted out and get over it.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needhelptoday

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
Re: Problems....
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2011, 08:32:39 PM »
Ann,

My apologies.  I know you will think I am being as someone termed this "psychosamatic".  I checked with my doctor today.  They did do the Elisa test approx 25 to 30 days (I need to check to be sure).  I just don't know if something happened via the condom or what.  I obviously was not in good shape to do anything.  As far as issues that I am having everything is periodic (runny nose, bad stomach -- although I can't tell because I am taking pills for this, nausea -- taking pills for this, cramps, etc.)m, headaches, etc.  What is consistent is pressure under my arms and down where my legs meet my pelvis.  In both places it's uncomfortable.  What can this be attributable to?  Please be honest in your assessment.  If it's all in my head so be it. thx.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #17 on: August 22, 2011, 08:36:52 PM »
Work with your doctor it is not an HIV concern.

Offline needhelptoday

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #18 on: August 22, 2011, 09:20:02 PM »
thank you.  I keep thinking the worst and it becomes a vicious cycle.  Am seeing a psych on Weds.  To you, Andy and Ann, thank you for you patience.  I actually had to call a hot line earlier because I was freaking out too much.

Offline needhelptoday

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #19 on: August 23, 2011, 05:13:16 AM »
All,

For right or wrong, I decided to tell my finance tonight.  I could not get through this w/o being honest and I don't think that the anxiety has actually been reduced, but I had to.  I talked it through with some help of an HIV  hotline and a close relative so that I could do this without losing it too badly.  I walked her through my numerous problems with alcohol and poor judgement that goes. 

I though it might reduce the anxiety, but honestly it has not.  I am praying this ends well and hoping for the best, particularly for her.  She can do far better than someone like me.  Next week I am going in for a physical at my doctor's request -- am not sure why (has me a bit worried).  He requested it and also thought I might want to go on heavier AD's.

I know from the forum, that if the condom was placed on properly and stayed on properly we are okay, that's miracle question, because I relied on the sex worker, not me (idiot).  The ELISA test was done five weeks into this.  It's 2.09 and I need to fall asleep.

Offline Ann

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #20 on: August 23, 2011, 07:26:41 AM »
Need,

As Rodney said, you need to work with your doctor to find out what, if anything, is going on. Whatever it is, it is not hiv. You do not have hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needhelptoday

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #21 on: August 23, 2011, 04:36:54 PM »
1.) I am putting a plan together:

a.) To see my doctor either this week/next.  Am going to ask him why he did not do one of the alternative tests (just for my own mindset because he knows I am worrier).   Perhaps because they are not accurate, I don't know.  I though the PCR or RNA (I can't remember) tests, could show something w/in the first two weeks.  I may be speaking out of line of course.  I just want concrete reassurance -- I guess what everyone wants when they go through something like this.

b.) At the end of the day the general consensus is if the condom was put on the penis correctly you should be safe (or as safe as you can be).  Now is this true if you have an STD like HPV as well?  Perhaps it depend upon the STD.  Regarding the condom, I did not put it (and my mind is playing some serious tricks on me as to whether she did it or not -- I remember that purple package coming out and her putting it on -- did it go on properly, was it torn, I have no idea).  This brings me to now -- how to move forward with these symptoms (painful armpits, fairly persistent, but random headaches) that are completely new to me.  Lot's of meds and therapy. 

c.) I have also asked -- implored my finance to get tested.  She thinks that I am around the bend, but I deeply care for her and hope she comes through this episode w/o any issues.

Thank you one and all.

Offline Ann

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #22 on: August 24, 2011, 07:22:35 AM »
Need,

We're done going down this road to crazyville with you.

You used a condom. Stop letting your guilt tell you otherwise.

Even if you didn't use one, that five week negative wouldn't have been negative if you had gotten hiv from this Vegas incident.

You don't need any sort of PCR testing. If you cannot put this behind you, test again at three months and collect your inevitable negative result.

If you cannot put the guilt behind you, I suggest you seek out couple's counselling. We cannot help you with that here.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needhelptoday

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #23 on: August 28, 2011, 09:29:25 PM »
Follow up,

Honestly, I don't want to get banned.  Am doing everything in my power to control my anxiety.  Am now seeing a psych (in lieu of a counselor).  My doctor periodically signs in with me via cell to see how I am doing (which is not well).  I understand you (and the additional moderator's) positions, as you can only provide your opinions/thoughts based upon the accuracy information that's provided (and what I can remember) and your knowledge and experience over the years.  For this assistance I truly am eternally grateful. 

My update:

1.) still have the lionshare of symptoms that I mentioned.  Periodic headaches (2-3 per day, rather intense), periodic nausea (comes in waves similar and sometimes with the headaches); very limited appetite (actually periodically painful to do number two -- burning sensation), armpit uncomfortability relatively persistent/as is some upper arm/chest pain, stuffy nose (fairly consistent), very little appetite.  Pre-July 14th, I was 190+ lbs, today as of Aug 28th I am under 174.  The original ELISA test was done 33 days after the event and yet I have still been ill for two plus weeks.  It could be mental, but the armpit issues, combined with the other items really have me worried and am planning another ELISA most likely this week if for nothing more than peace of mind.

Last week I went in for chest xrays, everything okay.  Had an EKG performed, everything okay.   As of last Friday, I know you all will say a.) I'm nuts and b.) it's not accurate, but I did the HIV PCR RNA test (it was the only other test Labcor offered).  Results should be in by end of this week.  I need reassurances.  That would really help alleviate my fears for me and my girlfriend.  Her watching me waste away is not good at all (not for her and definitely not for me).  This week I am seeing my psych Monday (second meeting in two weeks); I go to my regular doctor for a physical Tuesday (at his suggestion which has me a bit concerned), a colonoscopy on Weds.

Any thoughts other than banning me would be most appreciated.  Please don't ban me.  I know I sound desperate, but I am.  I am grabbing at straws.  I understand the thoughts on the condom and at this point, I just don't know to believe/remember -- all I know was the place was really, really sketchy -- not a good place and as for the person putting the condom on (for all I know it could have been put on wrong, or torn or the person did not care, etc.). 

What I do know is I am not getting better and we are now weeks into this.  My doctor says it will get better...when I ask....I get silence followed by, we need to just get you and your body calm.  What the heck does this mean?  It was I, not him that pushed for the PCR test because I felt like he was just waiting for an answer -- what about me the patient?  How the heck am I supposed to handle this?  I'm not doctor, but I know when i am not well.

a.) I am sorry to vent.  This is not easy and this IS my fault. I learned that at the AA meeting I went to Sat morning.  You have to recognize your problem, every day.  That's something I have not done.  You also have to love yourself, which at the moment is a hard one to swallow due to my consistent lack of good judgement/selfish behavior.  b.) I want answers or at I want to narrow down my symptoms.  My doctor, who I like a lot, just frustrates me with the "hang tight".  How about answering why my armpits are totally going off?  What's the explanation behind that (particularly when combined with everything else)....

Hopefully by the end of the week I will have a better idea of where I am.  I hope it's a better place.  I really do. 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #24 on: August 28, 2011, 09:48:09 PM »
You do not have an HIV concern.

Offline needhelptoday

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Re: Problems....
« Reply #25 on: August 28, 2011, 10:02:58 PM »
Rapirod,

Thank you for being out there somewhere.  Am really struggling.  Can't call relatives.  They will not talk to me.  My doctor talks to me, but it's at a distance.  My girlfriend get's stressed (and of course she would as I could alter her course in life due to my stupid actions) and breaks into tears.  It's overwhelming. 

Thank you for being there.

 


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