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Author Topic: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney  (Read 2816 times)

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Offline komnaes

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  • Posts: 1,893
You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« on: February 20, 2008, 10:59:11 PM »
Why it's not surprising that if the real Jesus Christ was to re-appear today, the Catholics would probably be the first in line to put him back up on the cross... :D


Hunt for Jesus in hedonistic city a huge challenge

Mark Chipperfield
Feb 21, 2008    

Sydney is used to hosting big Hollywood productions. The Matrix, Mission Impossible 2 and Moulin Rouge were all filmed in and around the harbour city, using Australian actors and extras. But Sydney's next mega production, a full-scale re-enactment of the Crucifixion of Christ, is proving to be far more challenging - the director just can't find anyone suitable to fill the main role.

As part of the much-anticipated World Youth Day in July - a congress of young Catholics from around the globe - Sydney plans to stage a crucifixion on a barge floating on Sydney Harbour. The historical tableaux will feature a full cast of Roman soldiers, the 12 apostles, Judas, Mary and, of course, Jesus.

Unfortunately, Catholic authorities are finding it difficult to locate a Sydneysider with the required Christ-like attributes - although they have been inundated with suitable Judases, Roman centurions and thieves; no surprise in a city more associated with money and the pleasures of the flesh than religious devotion.

Father Franco Cavarra, responsible for mounting the multimillion-dollar extravaganza (which will be held in front of Pope Benedict), has already rejected two candidates. "We're still looking for Jesus," he said. "I don't know if such a person exists, but that is what I'd like to find."

The ideal candidate, says Father Cavarra, should be aged in his 20s or early 30s, at least 1.82 metres tall and project "strength, gentleness and vulnerability at the same time". Oh, and be a good Catholic, of course.

The search has captured the public imagination. A leading newspaper has already launched an online Find Jesus campaign - and the issue has been widely aired on radio and television.

Curiously enough, this is the first good press that the 23rd World Youth Day (July 15 to 20) has so far attracted. Apart from irritating Sydney's large contingent of agnostics and atheists, the event has upset the city's horseracing fraternity - the Papal Mass is being held at Randwick racecourse, causing a 10-week disruption to racing.

Morris Iemma, the state's Australian-Italian Catholic premier, only appeased the Australian Jockey Club by pledging A$20 million (HK$142 million) for the inconvenience.

Some opposition lawmakers claim that the compensation should have come from the Catholic Church, not the taxpayer. Sections of the horseracing fraternity, still recovering from an equine flu outbreak, are also unhappy. John O'Shea, vice-president of the NSW Trainers' Association, doubts the money will adequately compensate for the disruption. "The timing of the event is horrendous."

The state government defends its actions by claiming that World Youth Day will inject A$140 million into the New South Wales economy and attract an estimated 500,000 pilgrims to Sydney.

There are also mutterings of complaint about the church's plans to site 13 Stations of the Cross around the city, in parks, outside art galleries and around the harbour.

The event, which depicts the last hours of Christ, will culminate at the Sydney Opera House, where Jesus (when he is found) will be scourged, crowned with thorns and receive his wooden cross. He will then be taken by barge to a floating stage at Cockle Bay.

Having the central business district taken over by Catholic devotees from around the world has not gone down well with Sydney's non-religious population. The most immediate problem for the organisers though is Jesus. "Maybe we'll have to import a Jesus," one listener told talkback radio this week. "I don't think such a person exists in Sydney - if he did we'd make him prime minister."
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2008, 11:00:48 PM »
Ugh don't start Matty the Damned on this.

It will only provoke one of his patented Angry RantsTM.

MtD

Offline komnaes

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,893
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2008, 11:07:58 PM »
Ugh don't start Matty the Damned on this.

It will only provoke one of his patented Angry RantsTM.

MtD

Maybe you should volunteer Matty.. ;D You teller than 1.82m?

I would have if I was teller and they were willing to pay for my FIRST CLASS tickets between Hong Kong and Sydney, but then I don't think they have a Oriental twat in mind to play Jesus. ;D

Also, as if you don't have enough problems with not having enough drinking water, imagine the run on HOLY water this event will cause.
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2008, 12:01:07 AM »
They obviously ain't looking very hard - there is a poof running around Sydney that is the spitting image of Jesus. In fact, he is nicknamed Baby Jesus. Oh yeah, he's hung like a horse and roots like a rabbit - this I know for sure.

Most Sydneysiders wish the Pope and his mob would just fuck off and leave us alone. We didn't ask for it, we don't want it. Piss off back to the Vatican and leave us in peace.

It is just total bullshit that they will get 500,000 pilgrims here for it and pump $140 million into our economy. The whole thing will be a huge flop. Wate of time and waste of money. Not 1 cent of taxpayers money should go toward this event. the Cathoic church is wealthy enough that it should pay for the event and compensate anyone inconvenienced by it.

The only good thing to come out of this will be the increase in fresh meat on Oxford St, as some of the more curious venture from the flock. Will be nice to break in a few virgin christians.
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline komnaes

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  • Posts: 1,893
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2008, 12:09:57 AM »
The only good thing to come out of this will be the increase in fresh meat on Oxford St, as some of the more curious venture from the flock. Will be nice to break in a few virgin christians.

If you see anyone of those in Oxford Street let me know buddy.. I will be on a plane! ;D

[attachment deleted by admin]
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,238
  • Ninja Please
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #5 on: February 21, 2008, 12:15:26 AM »
Will be nice to break in a few virgin christians.

. . . and if we bareback 'em they can meet Jesus all the sooner. ;D

MtD
(Who goes TOO far)

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2008, 12:34:36 AM »
::faints::
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2008, 12:42:16 AM »
What? Was it something I said?

Quick! Smelling salts for Youth Pastor Tim!

MtD

Offline poz1970

  • Member
  • Posts: 480
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #8 on: February 21, 2008, 12:59:59 AM »
They could practice the crucification scene on fred niles, couldn't they?  I could find a nail gun for it!

(fred niles is one of the australian religious hate peddlers)

J
"The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to  heterosexuals. That doesn`t mean that God doesn`t love heterosexuals. It`s just that they need more supervision." -- Lynn Lavne

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #9 on: February 21, 2008, 01:11:02 AM »
hehehe. a friend just sent me this.

I'm switched on to Jesus.



[attachment deleted by admin]
« Last Edit: February 21, 2008, 01:16:47 AM by fearless »
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline fearless

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  • Posts: 2,191
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2008, 01:16:19 AM »
Will be nice to break in a few virgin christians.

. . . and if we bareback 'em they can meet Jesus all the sooner. ;D

MtD
(Who goes TOO far)

Funny you should say that Matty. One of my closest friends works at WYD08 (i know, i know). apparantely, rampant sexual activity amongst the pilgrims is a fairly common occurence.
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2008, 01:26:04 AM »
I just found Jesus!!!

[attachment deleted by admin]
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,238
  • Ninja Please
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2008, 01:31:22 AM »
Funny you should say that Matty. One of my closest friends works at WYD08 (i know, i know). apparantely, rampant sexual activity amongst the pilgrims is a fairly common occurence.

Randy catholics? I'll be buggered! :)

MtD

Offline BT65

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Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2008, 10:30:46 AM »
Also, as if you don't have enough problems with not having enough drinking water, imagine the run on HOLY water this event will cause.

I remember stealing some holy water from the Sacred Heart Basillica at Notre Dame a few years back to baptize a Ouija board with before using it.  I was told later by one of the local witches that the only holy water comes out of a spicket at a cemetary.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline J.R.E.

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  • Posts: 7,217
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2008, 09:29:46 PM »

You can't find Jesus in Sydney


That's right, And I'll tell you why. He's in my bathroom, above my toilet. Let me explain...   :o


A couple years ago we went to some garage sales. I found a print titled "An afternoon By Lake Geneva." I guess the original was painted by Frederick Dufaux.

It's a painting of a woman sitting along the waterfront ( I am thinking it must be lake Geneva) She has a parasol, and she is overlooking the water, as she lay on shore in the heavy dress of the time. Looks around the late 1800's or early 1900's. I never researched it.


To make a long story short,...Everytime I lay in the bathtub, and take a bath, an image of Jesus ( very clearly defined )  forms on the right side of the picture. From the neck up,  Face, eyes, hair, it's all there ! Looks like Jesus. I can't help but notice that Jesus is looking at me, everytime I take a bath. You have to be laying in the tub to see this, you won't see it any other way...

But, I was noticing tonight, upon looking at it, with one of the bathroom lights turned off, ( while taking my daily bath) that it could also be an image of Ozzy Osbourne,( without the shades) or Charles Manson.  :P  Ok, I'm running behind, got to get ready for work. Finally it's my Friday. TGIF



Ray   :)




Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline Basquo

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  • Posts: 3,260
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2008, 09:59:46 PM »
I just found Jesus!!!

*laughin my hairy ass off!!!*

Offline aztecan

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  • Posts: 5,399
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #16 on: February 22, 2008, 12:47:18 AM »
This sign was paid for by the Roman Catholic Churches of San Juan County, which is where I live.

If you think about it, it is rather kinky.

HUGS,

Mark


[attachment deleted by admin]
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Online Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #17 on: February 22, 2008, 01:09:50 AM »
hehehe. a friend just sent me this.

I'm switched on to Jesus.



omg... I so want one
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Merlin

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  • As My WILL, So MOTE It Be !
Re: You just can't find Jesus in Sydney
« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2008, 02:37:59 AM »
I, for one have no issues with Jesus and his values and compassion; but dun get me started on the church and its people on real issues that matter. Seems a massive number of so called "christians" find excuse in being one so as to be able to judge and condemn and wreck someone's life without guilt and then simply confess all their monstrosities thru' a manmade shoebox with just a few Hail Marys. Pathetic. >:(

Maybe they should use MJ as the man. He sure looks alot like Jesus these days; who knows persecution like them? HalleBerry...I meant Hallellujah! ;)

« Last Edit: February 22, 2008, 11:34:30 AM by Merlin »
I'll leave Hatred to those not strong enough to Love.

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