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Author Topic: Just +  (Read 5529 times)

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Offline bosco

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Just +
« on: January 21, 2008, 05:49:28 PM »
So I just learned I was positive on January 11, 2008, and went to my I.F. Doctor for the first time last Friday. Now I have to wait for four weeks to get all the results in. At which time I'll find out my T-cell count and viral load. I might be ale to get an idea of when I was infected and when and what medications I might be taking. Since I've known for ten whole days, does anyone have any advice, general or specific? About anything related to being positive? Thanks...
"Dog is my co-pilot".

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: Just +
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2008, 06:20:05 PM »
Matty the Damned would tell you two things:

1. This is all going to be OK and;
2. There's no rush.

Oh, and welcome to the Forums!

MtD :)

Offline wishful

  • Member
  • Posts: 342
  • I am pretty content nowadays..Life is gud..
Re: Just +
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2008, 04:51:25 PM »
Welcome Bosco... ;D
Live life to the fullest...

Offline DCGUY2007

  • Member
  • Posts: 315
Re: Just +
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2008, 02:27:57 AM »
My advice would be to take it easy. Although I'm sorry you have HIV I am glad there are meds out here now. Many people are doing well on meds and living a long time. Some have lived over 20 years. Hope you do well and keep posting

Offline bosco

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Just +
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2008, 07:05:41 AM »
My advice would be to take it easy. Although I'm sorry you have HIV I am glad there are meds out here now. Many people are doing well on meds and living a long time. Some have lived over 20 years. Hope you do well and keep posting

Thank you! It has helped alot just finding this forum!
"Dog is my co-pilot".

Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: Just +
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2008, 08:08:16 AM »
Hi. Welcome to the AIDS MED forum.
Being informed is a key to some peace of mind. One way to do that is to make friends with the *search* feature located at the top of this page (scroll up to find the button on upper left corner). Try various key words and phrases to locate subject matters of specific interest to you. There is so much data and potential returns in search results so don't let yourself get overwhelmed. For instance, if you use the word "of" in your query.........every instance of the word will be included in response. One must take advantage of the advanced search feature.

It does take awhile to adjust to being HIV+. Of course, the timing of finding a comfort zone varies with an individuals' particular personality and possible preconceived notions--but the bottom line is you can have a life. Albetit--not the one you would have had as HIV-. Adjustments to be made vary with individuals. Many of us deal with constant fatigue. Many of us deal with diarrhea as a side effect of the drugs. Depression for some. Changes of physical appearance. (i.e., you could lose some fat in face, arms, or legs.) Non of it has to overwhelm you. You can do it. Be strong and take reasonable steps to instill healthy habits/be rid of unhealthy habits like party drugs / nicotine, etc. A darn good effort to survive--that's what you give to yourself.
Just some thoughts to share with you. Eighteen years for me and still truckin. I am 58 years old and am glad to be alive. Note: Some days I get upset about approaching the age of 60.  ::)

Mike M

Offline Damien

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
  • Fun, College Student.
    • MySpace
Re: Just +
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2008, 01:27:19 PM »
Some things that I have learned since I tested poz.

1).  Take a deep breath
2).  Don't rush decisions
3).  Lean to laugh more (stress gets to us)
4).  Lean about HIV ... just not when your getting paid to do something else.
5).  Meet other HIV+ people
6).  Get to know your local AIDS Service Org.
7).  See #3

Yours,
-Damien

Offline PaulinNJ

  • Member
  • Posts: 124
Re: Just +
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2008, 01:48:11 PM »
Bosco-
Best advice I've read in prior posts. All I can add is don't FREAK like I did for the first six months. Some survival instinct told my brain that my physical and mental health were my priorities and I stuck to that. I also promised myself I wouldn't curl up into a ball and it would go away. I would get up each day and shower (although lately things have been a bit hectic and therefore stinky for me!). Your life WILL change, your friends MAY change but life DOES get better in many ways. There's pro's and cons to everything. It ain't all rosy, but I'll bet my bottom (dollar that is) that in time things will smooth out for you and you'll be grabbing life by the 'nads. One of the best things you did was to join our 'little' forum here - it's full of great people and loads of support. The circumstances by which you join suck, the fact you sought this forum out speaks volumes as to where your head is at - and that's a good thing (sorry again, Martha!). Many go into denail (and anyone you might choose to disclose your diagnosis will likely go into denial as did many of my close friends and family - but with therapy I got around all that BS and have many new and even more wonderful friends who are my family now). Welcome to the 'club' Bosco - best advice I can think of is to keep in touch with your ups (and downs should they come along) via this forum. It's a great source of support and information - mkae the most of it.

Group hug for the newbie!

Paul
Laugh often - the alternative ain't worth it!
"Ain't I a stinker?" -- Bugs Bunny
From 120 t's, shingles and high VL in 2001
To 1200+ t's and undetectable in 2007.
2010 remain undedect. and 1000 CD4.

Offline PaulinNJ

  • Member
  • Posts: 124
Re: Just +
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2008, 01:50:48 PM »
One more thing:

Just to let you know, there are some 'veterans' on here i.e. THunter, Matty The Damned (our resident evil genius) and others who are the sages of wisdom...and that's to name two of many....
Laugh often - the alternative ain't worth it!
"Ain't I a stinker?" -- Bugs Bunny
From 120 t's, shingles and high VL in 2001
To 1200+ t's and undetectable in 2007.
2010 remain undedect. and 1000 CD4.

Offline Roie

  • Member
  • Posts: 263
Re: Just +
« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2008, 05:12:10 AM »
Thank you! It has helped alot just finding this forum!

It really has, This forum is a tremendous help and anchor to the reality of all of this.
(Although I wish that I had found this forum 6 months ago when I was first diagnosed.- but at least I found it now.)
Cruise on down the High Way

"When people who are not ready jump in, things can go horribly wrong. For most of us, there is always time to take a deep breath, consider one's options and make a careful, sound decision based on clinical fact, not emotion."
MtD

Offline Liouxie Lioux

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Just +
« Reply #10 on: January 27, 2008, 11:34:41 AM »
I found out on Dec. 28, 2008.  I'm pretty traumatized myself so I might not be a font of wisdom for dealing with this, but I will say: I know I'm going to get past the mental trauma, and I know I'll be able to stay healthy.  Stay strong.  Louis

Liouxie Lioux

Offline bosco

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Just +
« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2008, 01:26:43 PM »
I found out on Dec. 28, 2008.  I'm pretty traumatized myself so I might not be a font of wisdom for dealing with this, but I will say: I know I'm going to get past the mental trauma, and I know I'll be able to stay healthy.  Stay strong.  Louis



Thanks for the kind words...take care of your self.
"Dog is my co-pilot".

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,413
Re: Just +
« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2008, 02:27:25 PM »
Hi Bosco,
I am new to this forum but I have been poz since 94(maybe earlier).  Everyone has given some really good advice.  Try to take it one day at a time and try not to stress out, like Damien said, stress does get to us.
  My freak out was the day I picked up and took my meds for the first time, I cried and cried.  I realized that I was going to have to take them everyday for the rest of my life to survive and that scared the hell out of me.  Now it is just a part of me that I accept.
  I also thought I would never have kids and I have had 4 healthy, beautiful children.
 Just know that you are not alone.  If you can try to find a support group in your area, being able to talk about it helps a lot.  If not, come here.  No question is ever stupid, unless your blonde like me ;).  I also thought I would never be able to go swimming again in a public pool, that got a lot of laughs at my support group(lovingly, of course, I was crying at the time) ;D
 No one can tell that you are positive by looking at you.  When I had just found out one of the guys at work said to me "Hey, **** How do you spell HIV?"  and I kind of froze for a second ...."I said.H.I.V." and he goes are you positive ? I almost fainted thinking in my head OH, shit, he knows, but he just laughed and I just passed it off and he went away.
 Maybe not today or tomorrow...but soon you are going to find out how strong you really are.   
People are more likely to get you sick then the other way around.
If your ID doc does put you on meds, drink lots of water, and if they make you nauseous, gingerale saved my ass, literally :)  Try to take your meds the same time everyday, if you miss a dose, take it when you remember.  Don't stress out if you miss a dose all together....just DON'T make it a habit, if you need to change your schedule , do that.
I am undetectable, I couldn't tell you my numbers to save my life.  You know if you are feeling good everyday, don't let the numbers decide for you.
I can't think of anything else at the moment.  I hope this helps.  Oh....try to keep your sense of humor...like they say "Laughter is the best medicine"
Take care, Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline PaulinNJ

  • Member
  • Posts: 124
Re: Just +
« Reply #13 on: January 27, 2008, 03:16:01 PM »
First of all, Snow, you brought up a memory for me about work - after my diagnosis, I took a short leave, and told my employers ( a wireless company -hint - Cingular bought them and now Cingular was bought by BB&S - subtract a letter). My first day back, every coworker asked if I'd been away on vacation and on it went. My cubicle was of course, on the far end of the room of seventy plus employees. By the time I was halfway to my cube, I had a panic attack right there and had to leave. BB&S was so understanding and sympathetic - within six months they barely legally let me go. But I digress..

Your experience, Snow, has reminded me to take it one day at a time, especially in the beginning. I recall my emotional state going from distress to wonder at the miracles around me in seconds. I read miracles in everything that happened to me - and as I believe in karma, mine was coming back to me when I needed it most.

So, hang in there, find a face to face group that works for you and you always have us here...and no question or venting is out of bounds for us, especially for a newbie.

But what do I know? I'm just a dumb brunette! <EG>

Paul
Laugh often - the alternative ain't worth it!
"Ain't I a stinker?" -- Bugs Bunny
From 120 t's, shingles and high VL in 2001
To 1200+ t's and undetectable in 2007.
2010 remain undedect. and 1000 CD4.

Offline scratchyface

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Just +
« Reply #14 on: February 05, 2008, 01:13:00 AM »
Hi, I'm new to the forums but not so new to the disease...in my experience, one of the first postings was great...everything's going to be alright and there's no hurry. Well, on the hurry part, I wouldn't recommend dallying around as I did, but just do the next thing the docs tell you.

You will be alright...in this day and age, we're very fortunate to have the drugs we have to treat us.


When first diagnosed, I thought my life was over...I was going to die, my kids were going to be positive, at best no more sexual relations, relationships were out the window...blah, blah, blah. It's been just he opposite...my kids and ex are negative, I feel better than EVER in my life, I have a wonderful galpal, and things are pretty damn good.

Also, in some sort of weird sort of way, hiv has allowed me to be more free...more open, more sharing...I have to be in order to protect my partners, and give them the full details so they can make a choice to be with me or not. I've had several girlfriends (not at the same time...I'm a one gal dude) since my diagnosis, and with each of them, I had to be brutally honest about my condition..very early on in the relationship, which is strange...sort of like saying I know/think/wish we're going to have sex, so here's something you should know, but it's not like that....hard to bring up, but it's worked out each time. I also take them to my docs and send them here so they get an unbiased and very straightforward understanding of what intimacy and hiv means. The result is that i/we've had more wonderful, open, caring, SAFE, sex than ever before. 

Those were the big issues for me. Oh, yeah, and the meds...I was worried about the meds but it wasn't a big deal. I did have side effects from the AZT, then got off it and onto Kaletra/Truvada and am in good shape. There are lots of great meds now...we're very lucky.

Good luck and try to just take one step at a time. That's why God only gave us two feet!

Offline beachdude2003

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Re: Just +
« Reply #15 on: February 11, 2008, 09:32:46 AM »
Bosco,

  I just tested poz about 2 weeks before you did. I went to my first doctors appointment almost 2 weeks ago and got my cd4 count back last week.  My t cell count is 694. I haven't gotten my viral load back yet.  It is very scarry for me and I have ups and downs emotionally now.  I am so confused about when to start meds. There are so many opinions from everyone including doctors.  I wish you the best and just know that you are not alone, there are others in the same situation.  I found out on Christmas eve. R

Offline PaulinNJ

  • Member
  • Posts: 124
Re: Just +
« Reply #16 on: February 11, 2008, 01:25:35 PM »
Beachdude-

Christmas Eve??? Well, that sucks. I was diagnosed 7/6/01 - you tend to remember the date as anyone will attest to. Give it time...I know it sounds cliche', but given time (I think I may speak for a lot of us) one tends to think of it as a second 'birth-day' because eventually, being diagnosed somehow infused one with a new urgency in life. I think a lot of poz people turn a negative (pun intended) in to a positive and search their souls for what they really want out of life and what they want to REALLY do in life. For me personally, it was a question of sitting behind a desk in a cubicle as a corporate robot, or pursuing my life's passion which is art. I am still in a place where my life has taken twists and turns, but I WILL pursue my painting and have no fear that I will run out of time to do it. It took a long time to find the silver lining (I know, cliche') and if I sound preachy, sorry. It will all be OK. I've written previously how I started with 120 t-cells and a VL around 80,000 (not bad - millions are not good) and am now up around 1100-1200 CD4 and undetectable. I won't pretend it was easy, but I am here!

As far as when to start meds, that is ultimately up to YOU however, do your research. I know guys who started Combivir at where you're at right now and they are looking and feeling great. Perhaps there are some 'tutorials' or threads on here that can assist you. If you get lost, I am sure you can feel free to turn to our moderator, Ann, to point you in the right direction.

You and Bosco - welcome to the forum...it's great place to ask questions, vent (as I recently did), PMS (Pissing and Moaning Session) or whatever. Just keep us posted as to how YOU are doing BOTH of you! And know you are NOT alone.

Hugs,
Paul
Laugh often - the alternative ain't worth it!
"Ain't I a stinker?" -- Bugs Bunny
From 120 t's, shingles and high VL in 2001
To 1200+ t's and undetectable in 2007.
2010 remain undedect. and 1000 CD4.

Offline bosco

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Just +
« Reply #17 on: February 11, 2008, 01:31:46 PM »
Hi Bosco,
I am new to this forum but I have been poz since 94(maybe earlier).  Everyone has given some really good advice.  Try to take it one day at a time and try not to stress out, like Damien said, stress does get to us.
  My freak out was the day I picked up and took my meds for the first time, I cried and cried.  I realized that I was going to have to take them everyday for the rest of my life to survive and that scared the hell out of me.  Now it is just a part of me that I accept.
  I also thought I would never have kids and I have had 4 healthy, beautiful children.
 Just know that you are not alone.  If you can try to find a support group in your area, being able to talk about it helps a lot.  If not, come here.  No question is ever stupid, unless your blonde like me ;).  I also thought I would never be able to go swimming again in a public pool, that got a lot of laughs at my support group(lovingly, of course, I was crying at the time) ;D
 No one can tell that you are positive by looking at you.  When I had just found out one of the guys at work said to me "Hey, **** How do you spell HIV?"  and I kind of froze for a second ...."I said.H.I.V." and he goes are you positive ? I almost fainted thinking in my head OH, shit, he knows, but he just laughed and I just passed it off and he went away.
 Maybe not today or tomorrow...but soon you are going to find out how strong you really are.   
People are more likely to get you sick then the other way around.
If your ID doc does put you on meds, drink lots of water, and if they make you nauseous, gingerale saved my ass, literally :)  Try to take your meds the same time everyday, if you miss a dose, take it when you remember.  Don't stress out if you miss a dose all together....just DON'T make it a habit, if you need to change your schedule , do that.
I am undetectable, I couldn't tell you my numbers to save my life.  You know if you are feeling good everyday, don't let the numbers decide for you.
I can't think of anything else at the moment.  I hope this helps.  Oh....try to keep your sense of humor...like they say "Laughter is the best medicine"
Take care, Snow


Thank you Snow...you have helped!
"Dog is my co-pilot".

Offline aliveinla

  • Member
  • Posts: 247
Re: Just +
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2008, 01:07:14 PM »

Also, in some sort of weird sort of way, hiv has allowed me to be more free...more open, more sharing...I have to be in order to protect my partners, and give them the full details so they can make a choice to be with me or not.

This is so true and well put. I was a workaholic and very frugal (cheap) before. The positive side of being poz for me is actually I realized I have only this one life to live and my days are numbered--it's true for anybody but I just hadn't paid much attention to treating myself and my partner good. Now we go out more often, buy each other more gifts, and we are planning a road trip up California coast for the coming weekend... I remember there was a song about "living life like you are dying...", I am thinking other than the constant nightmares I am having, which I am sure will disappear as time goes by, I am having a better quality of life.
4/24/07: Last tested Neg
1/22/08: First tested Poz
1/30/08: CD4 393; 28%; VL: 44k
3/18/08: CD4 218; 26%; VL: 222K
4/24/08: CD4 402; 26%; VL: lab forgot
7/22/08: CD4 405; 25%; VL: 6,780
10/15/08: CD4 340, 26%; VL: N/A
2/4/09: CD4 394, 26%; VL: N/A
Jun 09: CD4 300, 25%; VL: 4000
Oct 09: CD4 324, 23%, VL: 10K
11/22/09: started Atripla
11/20/11: CD4 405; VL: UD

 


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