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Author Topic: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!  (Read 3348 times)

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Offline Just_Me

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Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« on: February 14, 2008, 09:46:52 AM »
Ok ... here is my story...

I have been with my husband for 4 years now and we have a 2 year old daughter.... well jan. 18th we went out to this bar and drank WAY WAY too much... well we met this girl and her husband and at the end of the night I wound up going down on the girl and I fingered her... I don't have any "sores" in my mouth or anything but what if i bit my lip or something that night and didn't know or what if i had a small microscopic cut and didn't realize it... or if i bit my tongue.. there could be numerous things that could have happend...

Now from reading the other posts that you guys have replied to it seems like that was low risk... but from what other websites like the CDC and others like them says that it is not as high of a risk as other behaviors but it is still a risk. ....

and then just now i found out that I am pregnant... and i am SO SCARED!! so so so so so scared.... and I cant get tested because its still too soon... I asked the girl if she had done that before because she gave me her myspace and I emailed her and she said that she hasn't done anything like that since before she got pregnant with her son and he will be 3 in April and she said that she had "blood work" since then. but I have no idea if I can believe her... because i don't really know her.

OK well.. if you guys could give me any info that would be great..


Offline Just_Me

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2008, 10:03:22 AM »
oh and before you tell me that the oral sex is not a risk please tell me how you know this and why you guys are saying this and other places are saying the opposite... I just dont understand...

Offline Ann

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2008, 10:34:47 AM »
Just,

Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv. Hiv is a very fragile virus. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment and - importantly - it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix. The cervix lies deep within the vagina and is not accessible to a tongue

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.



You can relax - you did not put yourself at risk for hiv by going down on this woman.

Ann
« Last Edit: February 14, 2008, 10:39:03 AM by Ann »
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Just_Me

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2008, 11:07:31 AM »
OMG THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!! and the whole fingering thing and me maybe scratching her doesnt matter then and me maybe having some small scratch in my mouth..??

And just a side note.....

Who ever started this board is the greatest person... and the experts on here are the best. It is so great to see people out there trying to help people out when they are scared. I know that you guys prob hear the same stuff over and over but still take the time out to post responses and to explain your answers and help people out. I cant thank you again for all the time and effor that you guys put in to help people...

THANKS AGAIN...

Offline Ann

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2008, 11:12:37 AM »
Just,

Fingering, even with scratches and whatnot, is also not a risk for hiv infection. NOTHING you did put you at risk. Seriously!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Just_Me

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2008, 10:24:29 PM »
this is my post from a while ago, but I know that you tell people to post in their original thread instead of starting a new one so here it is...

I just tested today at my first OB appt. and I am still freaking out... they said if there was anything wrong with any of the tests they took (including the HIV then they would call me, if not then I will just come in for my next appt. in 4 weeks) I am soooo scared I am going to get a phone call from them...

In all the years you guys have been on this website there really hasn't been any cases that you saw that people posted that they tested hiv poz after giving oral sex to a girl?

another question is I know that you said that saliva is a good protectant against allowing hiv to enter the body but I was drinking ALOT that night and was wondering if the alcohol could change the saliva in a way that makes it less effective? I remember reading some study on the internet that said that but I was wondering if you have heard of that at all?

I feel bad writing you again after you took the time to respond and write a very lengthy response last time, and I was really OK about everything after you responded and I haven't worried till today when I took the test. I don't know why, I am just started getting really nervous again.

Thanks for taking your time on me again :)


Offline Morgan

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2008, 10:36:59 PM »
Just,

Your anxiety, while unfounded, is quite natural.  But that does not change the fact that your activities did not put you at risk for hiv infection.

It's just nerves.... so relax and don't obsess about it.  Stop surfing the web and get out and throw in some distractions until your inevitable negative result.

Morgan  ;)
Morgan Landers

Offline Morgan

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2008, 10:46:46 PM »
Just,

I'd like to add that stress and worry can have a significant impact on you physically.  Don't needlessly subject your body (and baby) to this biochemical load.

Hang in there.

Morgan
Morgan Landers

Offline Just_Me

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2008, 11:05:04 PM »
Morgan,

Thanks for the response, very fast response at that! I really do appreciate it.

I really dont want to worry, and I keep telling myself that its low risk I just cant connect the dots in my brain I guess...

Offline Morgan

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #9 on: March 18, 2008, 11:15:24 PM »
Just,

Listen carefully.... not low risk, NO RISK.

Reread this thread, esp Ann's remarks.

These risk assessments are not half considered, off-the-cuff remarks.  They presume that the person you were with were actually hiv positive.  There is a lot of knowledge and experience behind them.

No risk.

Morgan
Morgan Landers

Offline Just_Me

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #10 on: March 18, 2008, 11:26:34 PM »
Morgan,

I am sorry I didn't mean to say low risk I meant to say no risk. And I know that you guys do in dept research on all of your answers and I appreciate that most of all. Thank you. I have always been a worrier by nature. hell I am 23 and still worry that "burglars" are breaking into my home if I hear a sound at night that I didn't know where it was from coming from lol. I automatically think it is someone trying to break into the house. yeah so I guess you could say I am a little crazy... anyways I know that this rambling doesn't have anything to do with anything so Thank you again.


Offline Morgan

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #11 on: March 18, 2008, 11:53:21 PM »
Just,

Gotcha.

Just work on lowering that stress level.... too many things to do besides worry.  You're living for two now.

This is not an hiv situation.

Morgan
Morgan Landers

Offline anonymous2076

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2008, 12:33:16 AM »
I can understand your paranoia but given your scenario i am willing to bet anything that you have no need to worry because you were not at risk given your scenario

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 5,885
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2008, 01:25:03 AM »
anonymous

I'm sure you mean well but could you please refrain from posting in others threads here in the AM I forum..thank you for your coopertaion...please read.

Quote
Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.

Just

You have been given good advise here..just take care of yourself (and baby) from here on in.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Ann

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2008, 07:06:07 AM »
another question is I know that you said that saliva is a good protectant against allowing hiv to enter the body but I was drinking ALOT that night and was wondering if the alcohol could change the saliva in a way that makes it less effective? I remember reading some study on the internet that said that but I was wondering if you have heard of that at all?


JM,

Alcohol will also damage hiv. Stop worrying!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Just_Me

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2008, 01:16:06 PM »
Ok guys I am really going to need you to answer something for me... My OB just called I got 2 missed calls on my phone from them and a voicemail saiying we need you to call us asap. i called back but they are on lunch. ahhhhhh

really how positive are you that this was a NO RISK situation with me. I mean really there has been NO HISTORY on this board of people that have posted that they tested poz that they felt was from oral sex on a women. and there really are people on here that have girls that have HIV and partners that dont and they have oral sex and the partners dont get AIDS.

I wouldnt have posted again but I am about to pass out i am freaking out so much i just know they are going to say that i came back poz. OMG OMG.....

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2008, 02:18:13 PM »
JM,

If you tested positive, it wasn't as a result of going down on a woman. Hiv transmission just doesn't happen that way.

Ann

PS - sometimes pregnancy can cause a FALSE positive result. If you are told you are hiv positive, make absolutely CERTAIN they have run a Western Blot. Read through the Testing lesson - there's a link in the Welcome Thread - for further information.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2008, 02:21:19 PM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Just_Me

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2008, 03:55:21 PM »
OK well i feel stupid.. they told me I have bacterial vaginosis... I am sorry to bother you guys again... just disregard me.. It just freaked me out because the lady on my voice mail seemed really somber and was like call us ASAP and that worried me.

Offline Morgan

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2008, 04:19:01 PM »
 ;)
Morgan Landers

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2008, 05:37:56 PM »
That is a relief. When your mind gets going with"stuff," it will misinterpret everything in the worst possible way.

That sort of infection happens frequently and of course is not in any way related to HIV.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Cheers,
« Last Edit: March 21, 2008, 05:41:28 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Just_Me

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #20 on: March 30, 2008, 09:46:35 PM »
OK so yeah its me again.. just one more time (I hope anyways) that you will hear from me...

Well when they told me about the BV I asked them if the blood work was back yet they said no, just the pap smear and that the blood work would not be in till Tue or Wednesday (the one that just passed) well so that weekend (last weekend) I went to my parents house and STUPIDLY left my cell there. well this weekend I picked it up (would have sooner but they live 1 hour from me) and listened to my messages and on Wednesday they left a message asking me to call and then again on Friday.

my question, and I really promise this will be the last, is if lets say hypothetically that they were calling to tell me that the results were poz whats the protocol on that? I mean I have more than just my cell listed in my file as a contact number, like my husband's cell and they never called any of those numbers and only called Wednesday and then on Friday. if its regarding a poz result wouldn't they make sure they tried everything to get in contact with me right away? or are they not allowed to do anything else.

that's all. sorry if you guys think i am crazy... :(

I am just thinking that yeah you guys say its near impossible but what in the world else would they be calling about. grrrr..

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #21 on: March 30, 2008, 10:02:55 PM »
We're not in the guessing business here. Get on the phone tomorrow and find out why they called you.

Your (mis)interpretations notwithstanding, I still expect you will have tested negative because you didn't have a real risk to begin with. Really!

 
Andy Velez

Offline Just_Me

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Re: Pregnant and scared! Please Help!
« Reply #22 on: March 30, 2008, 10:05:19 PM »
ok... this is just going to be a LONG night waiting to call in the morning...   :-\ 

 


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