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Author Topic: How do you do it?  (Read 11519 times)

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Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #50 on: February 27, 2008, 04:37:12 PM »
I know others may not agree but I don't think the therapist's sexual orientation, race, HIV status, age, gender, etc., are as important as your sense that this is a person you can talk with. Some commonality as far as those elements can be appealing, but aren't essential to forming a strong therapeutic alliance. 

I agree Andy, though I will state it took me 6 years of therapy, 3 different therapists, and a bit of thinking to arrive at that conclusion.  I think, perhaps, for someone beginning therapy that there's a comfort level (if false ultimatey) that comes from there being some "commonality" that, for example, a straight person can more easily assume is there (even if it's not... i.e. the therapist actually being gay).

Even though I'm quite sure my current therapist is neither gay nor HIV+, he works at a place that treats a lot of him so obviously he has the required experience.  That said, even in most other settings, most therapists will have dealt with other "end of life" diseases and will be able to provide an acceptable level of treatment.

At any rate, it's a delicate subject as obviously the patient's comfort level must come first.
« Last Edit: February 27, 2008, 04:55:00 PM by philly267 »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #51 on: February 27, 2008, 04:53:26 PM »
Philly---

I swear if you wasn't 7 hours away, I would come to your house and lay on your couch for some therapy. I was looking for some type of commonality and someone suggested a therapist who deals with the hearing impaired. I was just going to work it from there. I was getting myself psyched to actually talk to someone but having the problem of getting a call back has truly frustrated me. At this point, I'll take who I can get. I am still waiting for a call back from Nurse Leah. If I can't get a therapist then I think I should be coming to see you... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #52 on: February 27, 2008, 04:57:43 PM »
I think ultimately you will find this commonality stuff over-rated.  If you don't achieve a comfort level with a therapist, it's more generally that they suck as a therpist, not because you didn't have things in common.  It's a profession, not a boyfriend :)

I also agree with Andy's advice not to go to your appointments all toked up, but realize that might be asking for a bit much from Dear Queen.  Still, give it a whirl.

And trust -- you don't want me as a therapist (well, come to think of it my own therapists thinks I should be a therapist... LOL)
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #53 on: February 27, 2008, 05:11:19 PM »
Damn, I will try to make the first appointment, if I ever get one, sober as a judge but I prolly won't be saying much. Hard to believe, huh? Ok, well the part about you being my therapist was an excuse to come visit..*LOL*
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #54 on: February 27, 2008, 05:30:27 PM »
The sad thing is that you're closer to Detroit than you are to Philadelphia.  If you lived in Harrisburg this would be easier.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #55 on: February 27, 2008, 07:59:48 PM »
The sad thing is that you're closer to Detroit than you are to Philadelphia.  If you lived in Harrisburg this would be easier.

I use to live in Harrisburg a few years back. Who is in Detroit? Ah, Lucus, now he does seem like he would be fun to hang with. You trying to pass me off, Philicia? *pouts* Too bad I can't afford to go on tour, there would be quite a few stops I would make. Now what could I call my tour?
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Snowangel

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #56 on: February 27, 2008, 08:25:23 PM »
Royal -Palooza ?
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #57 on: February 27, 2008, 09:06:35 PM »
Royal -Palooza ?

Uh, nope, not feeling that one. Think of another... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Snowangel

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #58 on: February 27, 2008, 09:12:58 PM »
Her-HIGHness Party Train-  that one has a double meaning  ;D
We could get you a good beat and ryhme
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #59 on: February 27, 2008, 09:54:06 PM »
Her-HIGHness Party Train-  that one has a double meaning  ;D
We could get you a good beat and ryhme


Ok, almost...How about, Her HIGHness Tour or Queen Tokelove's Pass the Green Tour...B.Y.O.B--Bring Your Own Bag or Bring Your Own Blunts....There will be a 30 minute intermission for those with the munchies... ;)

(who gets a kick out of hijacking my own thread) :D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Snowangel

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #60 on: February 27, 2008, 10:12:47 PM »
Those are good! :)  Shoot...30 mins is not long enough for my munchies though.
To get back to it- in the perfect world you could find a therapist- that you could puff, puff, pass with but I suspect you wouldn't get much accomplished :)
I am going Friday to a peer support group and I am hoping to find another women I can talk to but I am not holding my breath.
At this point, any venting I can do, will be good enough, as long as they have a pulse :)
It might suprise you how much better you feel when you get things off your chest and get what you are feeling validated.  You know what is best for you and what you are comfortable with.  I just you to know it has helped me in the past and I hope it can help you too.
Puff on  :o
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #61 on: February 27, 2008, 10:35:11 PM »
You're right, back on topic. I get so carried away at times. I didn't get a call back from Nurse Leah but that could be because she didn't get a hold of my ID doctor. She will prolly have a message waiting for me when I get up tomorrow. She is excellent about returning calls. I'm with you about someone with a pulse about now.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Peter6836

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  • Posts: 391
  • Me and my Granddaughter Noa
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #62 on: February 28, 2008, 08:46:55 AM »
Queen,
As someone who has been in therapy for years. I must say seek out a therapist you feel comfortable with. You have the right to work with someone that you can relate to. I for one have interviewed many therapist for the privilege of listening to my thoughts.
Also I have found that journals are a wonderful way to get your thoughts out and decide what you want to talk about.
I say you really need to find someone that you can relate to it is imaprative in the therapy process. Do some research and find someone that you are comfortable with and you will find the process to be much more benifical.
Peter

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #63 on: February 28, 2008, 02:37:49 PM »
I got a message from Nurse Leah today. My ID doc prescribed more Celexa for me, a month's worth but I guess there is something else she wants to talk to me about. I am waiting for a call back from her. I am assuming it has to do with therapy.

Peter-- I use to journal but it always seem like someone would find my journal so I stopped doing it. Right now the only thing I do is blog which helps in a way. I find with blogging there are people who can relate to me and those who don't well, I just look at it as someone from the outside looking in and try to get some type of meaning from their comments as well. It is just frustrating me because at first I was not for trying to get with a therapist at all and now that I am considering it, it seems impossible to even get one.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #64 on: February 28, 2008, 02:41:42 PM »
Write a journal electronically on your laptop, and encrypt the file with a password, Cyber Queen.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline riverlassie

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  • Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #65 on: February 28, 2008, 05:24:30 PM »
I've actually told some therapist that I'll talk about myself if they take a turn and talk about themselves. At first they look at me a bit weird,  but ater awhile we develope a relationship. You see I'm actually a very private person. But I try to always keep a positive outlook on things. ( pun intended ) So what I usually talk about is any fustrations in regards to dealinng with my meds and such. As for my past well that is past. I choose to be here now. But anything I do choose to reveal is in my timing , no one elses.

Ps. My therapist recently left where I went so now I rely on my friends and groups in the computer.  Just don't send me a bill !
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #66 on: February 28, 2008, 07:17:45 PM »
After a brief moment of phone tag, I got to talk to Nurse Leah. My ID doc prescribed me a month's worth of Celexa and I have gotten it. I will restart it tomorrow. Nurse Leah also heard of my frustration with my case manager and spoke to the Supervisor of the Case Managers, Sue. She had left me a message but when I returned her call, she was busy. Nurse Leah did say Sue has a lot on her plate and since I left a message will probably get a hold of me tomorrow. She also said Sue would be the one to try to get me in with a therapist or point me in the right direction. I love Nurse Leah. I didn't even ask her to do anything in regards to therapy, just mentioned the medication and the problem I was having getting to see a therapist. The rest she did on her own. She also found out that my primary was out of his office because he also works at my ID doc's office which is primarily people who are poz. I can't fault him for educating himself on hiv since he is always quick to tell me that he does not know a whole lot about it but I see that is changing. Just wondering why his nurse couldn't tell me that was where he was. I have the number and they know I see that doctor too. But really no harm, no foul since I got the Celexa.


 There is a hospital that is close to my house that I think deals in Behavioral Health issues so I am hoping that they accept my insurance and I can go there. And it is walking distance and since I have some music on my ears, it is do able. I'll keep you posted on what I find out from Sue.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #67 on: February 29, 2008, 12:30:18 AM »
Dear Queen

I just want to let you know that I am so thankful to you for bringing up this topic, seriously. It's something I have avoided for a very long time.  Because you were so brave about sharing this, damn, I realized it was OK for me to seek help. 

Thank you, you are lovely

Sharkie
(who also very grateful of our "other: conversations, been a real boost in my..spirits)

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #68 on: February 29, 2008, 02:21:39 AM »
Sharkie---

I'm glad I was able to help in both ways... ;) :-*
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Iggy

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Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #69 on: February 29, 2008, 01:47:56 PM »
Queen,

I'm glad to read your latest update.  Good stuff with that Nurse Leah indeed.

I do think the no harm no foul is not exactly true with your primary doc's nurse.  Granted all is well this time, but both he and her need to know about communicating with his patient's in such situations.


Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #70 on: February 29, 2008, 02:06:58 PM »
My Dearest Iggy,

I am starting to see your point. It is now Friday and I have yet to get a call from my primary doctor. I am sure he knows about my ID doctor giving me the Celexa but I had called to see if he needed any blood work done. When I was in the hospital in January, an A1C was done, it was 5.9 which is good. I was just wondering if there was anything else he needed since he hasn't seen me since September. Since then I was sick once and he prescribed me some Mucinex but I haven't been sick since so I don't feel the need to schedule an appointment to see him.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #71 on: February 29, 2008, 04:54:08 PM »
I did hear from my primary doctor's nurse, Linda. He also called me in some Celexa so I guess I am well stocked. And he still wants to see me so I will go to see him on Monday. I guess he wants an updated list of my meds which is weird because he prescribed them and would think they would be in my chart. The only new additions are the Celexa and Klor- Con. And I still didn't get a call from Sue. I guess I will have to call her again on Monday.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: How do you do it?
« Reply #72 on: March 03, 2008, 10:01:03 PM »
Update and Irritated----- My appointment with my primary got cancelled due to he didn't come in today. Glad I called before I got there. I never heard back from Sue but instead from my worthless case manager who I call Ms. Twice A Week (since that is all she works). She asks me have I gotten in with intake with Behaviorial Health yet. In a very dry voice, I explained the whole story again and explained that I had given up with the one place and was hoping that the hospital closer to my house may have some services. She still wants to try to get me into the place where I had been trying though she said she would call the hospital too. I could hear the attitude in her voice while she spoke to me. This is what I was trying to avoid when I was doing things on my own but the therapist at the hospital said I should persue getting another case manager. Considering he is the professional, I took his advice and look where it has gotten me....No new case manager and my current one with a tude. And here I sit, still without a call back from the original place I had been trying to get into. And still without a therapist but at least I got the Celexa.

I usually sing high praises in regards to my ASO but now I am frustrated and a bit pissed. Instead of talking with the Supervisor, it has turned into phone tag with her and a pissed off case manager. And I have been told that they have gotten a new case manager who seems to be doing quite well. Why can't I get her?

Hell, I was even happy talking to the receptionist who seem to know more than my current case manager does.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

 


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