HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

Im Done!!! Please read completely Thank you to all!!!

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I hope someone can calm me down, I am a divorced 34 yr old bi-male, I have always practiced safe sex. And in the past been worried, but this time I cant ignore what is happening to me, OK
On June 9 I met a friend whom I have know for 10-12yrs, He doesn't live in this area but was traveling in, Anyway. We met and got together, I performed oral on him unprotected and rimmed unprotected, I did see precum but he wiped it off and we continued. This then lead onto receptive anal sex, Which was protected at all time, (from what I can remember) He went thru 3 or 4 condoms because how can u say it he wasn't real strong, After anal sex we then j/o until he ejaculated onto my leg. From  what i can remember and trust me i have tried he never was inside me unprotected.
On the week of June 28 i was extremely tired and sore, just felt like i was beat with a bat, (I work 12hr days, and was sleeping about 5hrs a night) Before that I went to the Dr on the 23 for what i thought was sinuses, just felt bad,
On the night of the 28th i had a fever 100.5 that wouldn't break, I woke up at 1:30 that morning Thursday and knew something was the matter, went to the ER and they told me I was having a heart attack, so they life flighted me to a hospital that has a cardiac unit, When i got there low and behold there was my friend who i played with on the 9th working the ICU in this hospital,  They let me out and said stress cause me to have a spasm in my heart, which caused the heart attack.
   I get out on July 3rd and since then I have had fever, sore joints, muscles, head ache, ear ache sore throat. I call my local Dr and he took blood on the 10th and said i have a infection my white blood count was 12.5 and he cause me cefzil to take, This whole time i am worrying sick, with all this problems, and trying to work, I called my friend and asked if he was free of anything hiv etc, He got extremely mad and said I'm clean, and hung up. I know he is a ICU nurse they should test often shouldn't they?
I went back to the doctor on Friday and he said my blood work looked fine i was a viral infection from what my blood work looks like! Could this viral be the start of the HIV inside my body the seroconversion????  But he wasn't worried about the blood just my heart attack. I asked if it could be a STD or maybe the HIV and he laughed and said heck no. Your not a fag are you!! By that point i was freaking out, I couldn't tell him then i was bi!
By the time i left I was sore again! my neck, shoulders joints, and had fever!

My questions are this
 1. From what you read above How risky was this, I don't know a 100% if he was protected the whole time inside me! 99% yes, and i know he didn't ejaculate inside me,  I watched him take the condom off and start j/o. it was unbroken.
 2. If he was a ICU Nurse in this big town hospital they would test everyone often? I found out later he does dance tours and was a previous falcon actor! 
 3. Could this viral infection my blood work showed i had been dealing with be the start of the HIV inside my body the seroconversion??? The blood work showing that I had a viral infection my body fought off. I called a hot line and the guy told me no, HIV is a retrovirus and it wont show up like that. Calm down I had the flue or something!
 4. Why am I still sick and so weak i just checked my temp again and it 99.5! and my head hurts behind my eyes and my neck hurts etc!!

Please someone help! I am the only thing my two kids have! I have no one else to talk to!


Symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection. The only way of knowing your accurate hiv status is through the antibody testing at the appropriate time. You can't go by someone else's test results, only your own.

None of the activities you describe are high risk for hiv. The only thing that carries even a remote chance is the giving a blowjob, but even this is only a tiny risk, minimised further by the fact that he didn't ejaculate in your mouth.

Relax and listen to your doctors. It sounds like you have other issues going on, but none of them sound hiv related.

While you don't need to test over this specific encounter, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

If you do test over this incident, I would expect negative results as long as you  have not been having unprotected intercourse.


Thanks for the fast reply,  Am I totally overreacting here? The other questions etc? Please anyone, I think over and over and if something happens like this to me. I have no one for my kids. We are all alone in this world.  I just feel as though i could die!  I feel like such a disappointment!

your doctor should not have asked you if you are a fag!  He should have asked you if you have had any high risk behavior.  Which the answer is "no".  You do not need to test over this incident. 
  Your sexual partner may need to try a condom that is smaller/larger to get a correct fit, if he is having to replace it so many times, or maybe he was just having a problem with erections.  In any event Ann has given you good information and you should feel confident that this situation as described is not a risky one and therefore does not require an HIV test.  For godsakes get a new doctor preferably one who is not so conservative. 


I submit that whatever else happens, you have little chance of another sexually intimate encounter with your "friend." Grilling someone about his HIV status is not only uncool, it is also irrelevant to YOUR situation.

If you are practicing safer sex, then the HIV status of  your partner (which should always be assumed to be positive) is immaterial. You don't get HIV from ejaculate on your leg, or from protected sex. Absolutely nothing about your post (and yes, I read the whole thing) in any way indicates a need for HIV testing. What I urge you to address are your feelings towards same-sex intimacy, and the connection with your fear of HIV.


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