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Hello Again and an experience. Possibly funny, possibly not.

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Well hello again - I joined the forums a couple of years ago when I was first diagnosed, and haven't posted much - have just been getting on with / getting used to my new life - I've even had to re-register, as I forgot all my log-in details. Last week, I had an experience which I wanted to share, and see if anyone else had had too.

So, it's been a couple of years, and I decided that a nun's habit is just too restricting, and sex is something that I really want to keep as part of my life. Figured I'd see how it went. Met a guy on the internet, we had sex, and it was nice - lots of laughing, fun, intimacy. I didn't disclose, but made sure that everything we did was safe. Ended up with me cumming on my stomach, and then just as I was thinking "well hurrah, I can have a sex life without endangering anyone else after all" - he bent down and ate the cum off my stomach. Now, in my old life, I would probably have quite enjoyed that, but now it really took me aback.

So, the question is, I suppose - how can you make sure that sex is safe, when it involves another person with their own ideas? Anyone else ever come up against that one?


Dear Steve: I know you know this, I but I really think you need to disclose if your going to have that kind of intimacy.  As for his risk, I would anticipate that it's probably low considering the fargillity of the virus, it's exposure to the air, and the gastric juices present in his mouth. 

I hit the wrong damn button and I couldn't finish my thought...

I know that we all susceptible to those random moments, the quick sex, the new companion, or just anyone to hold us through the dark.  But there are other aspects to this disease and I sense that you wouldn't ever want to put someone in danger.

A couple of years ago, I was hospitalized over-night secondary to chest pains.  Typically, I am an easy stick (for drawing blood and starting IVs) but the first nurse, who wore gloves, wasn't having a good go of it. She called in another nurse who didn't wear gloves when he did the IV.  I don't even think he thought he was at risk because my wife was with me.  But, I still beat myself up for not telling him to stop, to check my chart, and not making him put on gloves.  chris

That is a rough situation.  I am sure many more in here have faced.  I have taken the approach of tell all and be open about it.  Granted my sex life is non existant unless you count my right hand  ;D .  Also, keep in mind that a lot of states allow people to prosecuted for not disclosing.  I will use the guy that gave it to me.  He said he was clean I took his word and he did not know or he lied and now I have it so the cycle contiunes unless I decide it stops with me.  I am so glad you were safe with him.  There are many people with HIV that think oh now I have it so I can do what I want.  I applaud you for being openly honest with your post and I hope that you can do that with partners.

Steve, you have a right to privacy.  He has the obligation/responsibility to protect himself.




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