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i'm a blubbering basketcase today...

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LIZZIE LOU:
guess i just need to vent...

this march will be a year since my son was diagnosed with hiv.  most of the time i dont think about it 24 hours a day...but TODAY...for some reason...i cant stop crying.

i'm mad as hell at him for not only doing this to himself...but to me.  i'm mad that he let crystal meth rule his life for so long...mad that he didnt have the common sense to use a condom.  i've lived the life of an addict through him...and now this. 

sometimes i think that all i want is to die before he does so that i dont have to feel the loss...but then i feel like i hope i am around to make sure that he is getting the best possible care.  IS THIS STRANGE??????    why do i even think about things like this?

i know the spill...he is on meds and doing wonderfully...and can expect to live a long time with all the advancements being made...blah, blah, blah.

jesus christ...why did this have to happen????? 

RapidRod:
Tell me Kim, what is different about today than any other day? Have you ate to much chocolate again this morning? As for being a blubbering basket case, that's because of your hair color.  ;) Don't let it get you down. There is nothing that you could have done to prevent it. Now stay out of the chocolate the rest of the day.

LIZZIE LOU:
ok rodney...stop trying to make me laugh ! ! !

and stop telling everyone that i am a chocolate freak...some things are meant to be kept a secret.  if i weigh 400 pounds in 10 years...we can blame it on christian.  i AM a stress eater :(

dont make me start talking...

Andy Velez:
If you weigh 400 lbs. in 10 years we can blame it on your being a Christian? Really!?

Jesus Christ! What is that about? The church socials?

Live your own life and let your son live his. Everyone will be a lot happier. Really.

Now, go get your cake.

LIZZIE LOU:
andy...

not "a" christian...my son's name is christian.

wow...live my own life and let him live his?  what is that about?  i am his mother...and being sad is living his life?

give me a break...

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