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Author Topic: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)  (Read 33240 times)

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Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #100 on: February 04, 2008, 07:40:20 AM »
Hello ladies. Hope everyone had a good day yesterday.                      Ml, love your pictures of cheech and you. He looks like a good dog.             We need to get another dog but can't seem to find the right one. We had 2 deerhounds, gave them away as they were very destructive. We also got a dachshund  but she wouldn't pee outside so we gave her away, too. We will find what we need(sheltie or St. Bernard) soon.                                                                                           MM, got to give you respect for taking care of so many children. Robert has  a speech therapist,  we were told he will catch up and he is doing well. I do not understand some of the abbreviations for your children's disability's but I know ya'll are great for taking them in and giving them the love they need.                                                                   I do not like football, either but I watched the halftime and some of the commercials. Loved the lizard one. It was funny.                         Not much happening today. I had a shit day at work yesterday and I am going to look for another job.  I am sick of having all this stuff to do but nobody helps then I get fussed at cause it's not done. I just had a bad day yesterday, maybe I will feel different Tuesday.   Maybe I will get fussed at one to many times and quit. NOT!!!    I will be a good girl and find another job and give them a notice since I have been there almost 2 years. Just frustrated.                                 Dragonette, Sorry to hear about your friend. I hope the new stuff works wonders for her. I also hope you enjoy your 2 week visit.     Anyway, time to get to work. Laundry, housework, The usual Monday stuff. Take care and I'll check in tonight.      Cristy

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #101 on: February 04, 2008, 07:47:49 AM »
Hello Ladies-

Wanted to say I'm really glad you're back Queen.

Super Big Hugs,

Camms.

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #102 on: February 04, 2008, 07:57:54 AM »
Good morning ladies:

Yeah, I know, I'm up early again.  But today there's a reason for it.  My father is in some state of distress.  My oldest sister (the self-proclaimed god of the siblings) called me a couple times about him yesterday.  He was in panic, claiming that his oxygen machine wasn't working right.  She went over and checked it out, changed the tubing and the canula, gave my dad a Xanax so he would calm the fuck down and tried to talk him into going to the hospital.  Of course he refused; he's a very stubborn old geiser.  The reason he won't go to the hospital is because he can't smoke there.  Yes, that's his reason.  Anyway, she went home and talked to his pulmonologist, who told her my pop needs to go to his office today for a check-over and also called in a script for Prednisone to reduce the inflammation in the airways.  My sister lives 10 minutes away from my dad.  My brother and I live a town away, about a 35 minute drive.  Anyway, she called me and asked if I could take my dad to the doctor today, as she claimed she couldn't miss work on a Monday.  Of course I told her I would.  So, I'm expecting her to call in a couple hours to tell me if she was successful at making an appt. and if in fact my dad would go.  My dad is so stubborn.  He'll wait to do anything until an emergency arises, refuse the right medical care, and then expects people to run to his rescue.  I know, I know. It sounds like I'm being unfair and well, an evil bitch.  That my dad is in his last days and we should do everything we can to make him comfortable and happy.  Some of you remember me going over to my parents' when my mum was in her last days.  My mum was a much different person than my dad is.  My dad never talked to me or my brother when we were growing up.  He treated my mum like she was his maid/slave.  My mum was the one who made sure my brother and I were taken care of and that we had the most enjoyable existence she could provide for us.  She was easy to take care of in her last days.  Not necessarily medically, but just that she appreciated everything we did for her and she saw how much we all cared for her (the karma thing).  My dad expects and demands that we be his whores.  I'm really getting irritated with the whole thing.  He can't really go into assisted living (noncompliance issue and financial).  The god of the siblings won't even talk about him going into a nursing home because she claims he "still has his mind."  Oh, does he?  He shits all over his house and expects us to clean it up.  When getting his groceries (and he always only needs like six or seven items because of Meals on Wheels) he always shorts my brother and I money and expects us to pick up the rest.   So, taking him to his appointment today will be done, if he gets one and commits to going, but it is done with bitterness.  Some of you are probably thinking "how can she be so cold hearted and callous?"  Well, my friends, if you had had the childhood I had (or lack of) with my father, you would understand.  My mum was a dear, sweet soul who welcomed everyone into her life, regardless of who they were, and treated everyone with the utmost dignity and compassion.  My dad was (and still is) very cruel.  Even when my mum was in her last days, my father expected her to take care of him and all his physical maladies.  Nevermind that she was in severe pain and suffering.  He's just an arrogant egoist and frankly, I'm growing weary of the whole thing.

OK, I've said my peace for this morning.  I still have to study again for the exam, read another chapter in my social psych book, read the other 1/2 of the chapter in my ethics book on capital punishment and begin to formulate a paper regarding the same.  I know, god, or the spirits, or the universe, or whatever will work it out if I do "the right thing."  I need to get over this resentment of having to cater to a man who never supported me (or my brother, who feels the same way I do) in anything.  Oh, he thinks my sisters are queens because they're financially comfortable.  Nevermind that my brother has two master's, graduated summa cum laude both times, is taken as word in the small poetry presses, and teaches at two universities.  Nevermind that I've come from the pits of hell, am now (finally) completing a bachelor's degree, and was on the president's list last semester via a 4.0 GPA.  Oh, I guess I stated I've said my peace.  Now I'm rattling on again.  Just wanted to get this off my chest to my fellow comrades without being judged as cold and calculating.  

Other than that, we got more snow last night, but today it's supposed to be in the 40's, so hopefully most of it will melt before we get the next blast on Wednesday.  I really do try not to be a cynic, and try to be totally fair in my dealings.  Sometimes I just get tired.  *sigh*  Thanks for letting me share. :-*  
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #103 on: February 04, 2008, 08:12:05 AM »
Cin: FASD = Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.  The lady drank up a storm while she was pregnant. It destroys the brain cells as the baby is trying to develope them.  The lasting effects are worse than a wee one exposed to meth in utero, according to the genetisist.  FASD kids also have a certain "look" to them.  It leads to loads of comorbid conditions like microcephaly, MR, Asperger syndrome, learning issues and emotional issues.  Research doesn't give much hope to kids with FASD.  Funny thing is, though, that it's not listed in the DSM-IV as a medical or mental disorder so they qualify for NO help or services.  

I have degrees in socialogy/ criminalogy and philosophy, cin, not so very far from psych.

Vyv: we got our kiddies when they were babies and had no idea they were special needs.  Even when we brought home Mini, we knew she had the "potential" of HIV, but had no idea.  When we found out and called our social worker, she "ran" over to make sure we weren't changing our minds about keeping her.  We were highly insulted, but I understand her position.  

Betty: good luck with your paper.  I really admire you for going back to college to finish your degree.  I don't think I could ever do that.  Massive Kudos to you, hun.  What are you majoring in?  How much longer do you have?

Christy: Sorry to hear about your job.  I do hope you are able to find another one.  Sucks to have to carry the load of work, the majority of the responsibility, and the brunt of the bosses.  Hang in there and maybe Tuesday will be better.  We had a huge bear of a dog (chow / lab mix) that was such a sweetie dog.  Can't have another one unless it's very small, very durable, doesn't shed or have dander.  

Time to feed the booglets and get them ready to start school.  Everyone have a very wonderful day!

Mum

www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #104 on: February 04, 2008, 09:18:00 AM »
OK, my sister called and said my dad won't be going to the doctor today.  So that problem taken care of.  I guess he called her this morning in a state of panic because he couldn't find his remote and wanted her to go over and find it.  She told him she would stop by on her way over.  She said she suggested him to go into a facility so he could be taken care of, to which he said "no."  I said "well, then he shouldn't expect one of us to rush over there every time he gets into a crisis."  To which she replied "but he does, so I'm going to stop by on my way to work."  Well, alright, but isn't that playing right into his hand?  I sent an e-mail to my brother and am waiting for his reply about this frustrating situation.  Nuff said (for now).

Cin, I hope your new job goes well.  Let us know.

Cristy, I hate being caught in what feels like a hopeless work situation.  Good luck finding another one.  And you take care of yourself, gf.

Mum, I am finishing a bachelor's in psychology.  I have about a year to go.  I didn't know you had dual degrees.  Good for you sweetie!  You and Mini are truly a blessing to this forum.

Have a good one ladies-

Edited to add:  who's going to start the new thread? 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #105 on: February 04, 2008, 09:34:09 AM »
Some of you are probably thinking "how can she be so cold hearted and callous?"

Not for a second, Betty.
Im at work and can't get into this right now, it plays too much on my own fears and issues. I'll just say I'm a 100% behind you. Life is a bitch sometimes but we have to make the most of it amd do our best in less than ideal circumstances.

Minismom, I was pretty aware of the details Mini's condition but I had no idea all your other kids were suffering from so many conditions. My God. You could be spending all your time on forums just consulting about all of them. And you do all this without any help. That is unbeleivable. I'd say if you had time, start a blog b/c this is one amazing story. But of course, you would never have time! I hardly have any so how in the world could someone like you?

But anyway, the bit by bit that we get is really inspiring. I have been struggling with getting pregnant (not with the conceiving, we only started. But with the idea of it). i feel that I have less than ideal circumstances on all levels. but you make me see things differently. We also want to adopt, but we know that it will be nearly impossible at this stage, for all the reasons that make having a baby challenging: lack of permanent place/country/employment, not owning our own place, and of course my being positive. I hope that maybe in some years, we will be able to adopt. My BF is also interested in adopting, when he was a kid himself close friends of his parents adopted a child who was seen as "less" because she had a harelip and some kind of mental disability (not illness, or retardation, but something in the middle, sorry I don't know the exact diagnosis). They adopted her when she was 7 or so, from an institution. So he has always grown up thinking that this was a great thing to do in life. When we were in Spain now we met her and she is married and pregnant.

We have thought about adopting a poz child (not that it's possible at this point, but in principle).  But at the same time, I can't say we are not terrified of that the baby we are trying to make now might turn out poz. I know it sounds hypocritical, but I think it's different if a child is already positive, then there is nothing that can be done about it but make the best of it. Reading some of what you went thru with Mini made me realize is a poz child is a much more complicated and difficult than a poz adult. I remember there was a trial in Israel when a couple had adopted a baby from Russia, and when they found out she was poz they wanted to send her back. How horrible. I don't know what happened in the end, I guess she was placed in a hospital, it was pre-HAART. Like you said, the social worker actually feared this would be your reaction. I can only truely admire you & your hubbie.

Speaking of hubbie, my BF said that if I get pregnant, we should get married. Not exactly a proposal, I wish it were more romantic, but it's the first time marriage looms as a realistic prospect. I'm almost afraid to think about it. Like if I think it's going to happen, it won't happen. I also somehow don't beleive that I will get pregnant, or that he will geta decent job and I will finish mine and get one too. I am not thinking negatively, but can't beleive positive things either. I'm kind of stagnated. In a way, it's easier to complain than enjoy the good things. How messed up is that?


Cammie, nice to see you. Don't be a stranger  ;)

Cind, I hope the 1st day of work is going well. I'll have a look for those jeans, but it's rare for me to find a pair that fits me, or rather, that I fit. Hope you enjoy!

Cristy, I hope work is easier next time. Waitressing is tough. But you sound good in it. Maybe you can get promoted to shift manager or something, then you'll boss people around. I never managed to get the hang of waitressing, I always got fired after a few days.

Viv, no one watched (American) football here. I didn't even know the superbowl was like the final... just figured it out from reading the forums. Pretty clueless eh?

Afraid, if you're reading this, pls check in............ hello there.

Queen, yes, the Sustiva in Atripla can work as a depressant, I think. I couldn't handle it and changed after a while, but many people, like our Cindy, just comply. I'm wondering how they work so fast on you though, I always thought it takes at least some weeks for antidepressants to take effect. But maybe that was the older generation. I have somehow missed taking them, b/c I had my biggest mental breakdown before the age of Prozac. A couple years ago, a friend of mine was raped, and got really depressed, and she says that they saved her. Ater a year, she stopped taking them and is now OK.

Have a great week all, catch you later. I am flying on Thus so will try to be discliplined with work... No, will BE disciplined with work. Adios for now

 
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #106 on: February 04, 2008, 11:20:51 AM »
Good Morning Ladies-----

I finally finished my hair about 3 am. My son stopped over last night with a female friend so that was nice. He may be moving to Memphis next month with his "adopted" brother. I am for him getting away from here and seeing more of other places. I think he will be fine but I will miss him. I have to get labs done, pick up new contacts, and get my depo shot today. It looks nice out and I am due for some fresh air.

Cindy--- Good Luck with the new job today. As for the Super Bowl, I was for the Patriots too but what an upset after having such a great season. There was no way I was for the Giants since they knocked my Cowboys out of the playoffs.

Dragonette--- I don't think I will stay on the anti depressants forever. I have another refill and may stop taking them after that. I just want to hear what my ID doc says. I am feeling better already and if the signs should appear again I think I am better equipped to handle it and I have a few people I can talk to.

Camms--- Good to hear from you and thanks for your support. Being gone like I had been and seeing all the concern when I came back really touched me. It showed me how much people care and I really didn't think I had that effect on people.

Christy--- I loved the Super Bowl commercials too. I think my fave one was when the squirrel was in the road and screaming. I also liked the Pepsi commercial with Jimmy Fallon too. I was a bit confused on the lizards, was that Ola Ray and they were doing Thriller? At least that is what I thought and it was cute.

Well I need to run. I have a few things to do before my cab gets here. I will check in later. Have a good day ladies.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #107 on: February 04, 2008, 11:22:07 AM »
Yep, Betty, dual degrees and I stay home with my babies ;D.  Honestly, YOU GO GIRL!  I'm so impressed that with everything you are going through with your health and your family that not only are you going back to college, but GIRL you have a 4.0 GPA!!!!  You need a hug, a high-five, some gold stars,a pat on the back, and a party!  At this point in my life, I wouldn't have the courage to go back to college. Seriously, you are to be admired!

Dragon: LOL about not getting a romantic proposal.  Hubby and I went to the mall to get his hair cut at Penny's.  I stopped by the jewlery counter to "look".  I found a really pretty engagement / wedding his/her set.  I tried on my rings and asked hubby what he thought about them.  He said they were "nice".  I asked if I could see his credit card.  He gave it to me, I gave it to the lady who looked at poor hubby.  He shrugged.  While sitting at a red light, he looked at me and said, "I guess I should ask you to marry me seeing as I somehow already bought the rings."  

That was in March.  In October, I handed him a wedding invitation book.  He asked what it was. I told him.  He asked what it was for.  I told him that we were getting married in June and he needed to help me pick out the invitations.  His only response was, "do you think I should call my parents and tell them, or have you already done that, too?"  LOL..we've been married almost 15years.

About adopting a baby, research is free.  When we got started, there was no big internet so everything had to be done via mail and phone calls.  You should look up different places and just take a look.  We "researched" for over 3 years before we brought home #1.  

Having an HIV+ baby was very difficult for us mainly because we had no idea what we were doing or where we were heading.  You are so much more educated than we were.  I've learned more in the 2 1/2mths I've been on this site than I did the first 7years of Mini's life. Also, we were told we'd never "have" kids.  Needless to say #5 was a HUGE suprise!  You never know when life's gonna start dealing to you from the top of the deck. ;)

OK, break time is over.  We have to get through math (uggggg!) before lunch.  Hope everyone is having a great day!

Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #108 on: February 04, 2008, 02:36:04 PM »
Good afternoon ladies:

Well, I made my daily venture out.  Went to Family Dollar and got a $2 bag of Doritos; they are one of my new addictions. ;D

Drag, I hope I didn't put anything out there that made you go through any distress.  You know I wouldn't do that, sweetness.

 Queen, of course we were concerned.  I really enjoy reading your posts.  You're straight to the point, yet compassionate at the same time.  I was sending you good energy every day, gf.

Mum, what can I say.  You are just the epitomy of what a good mother and person are.  I really enjoy reading your posts also.  They always make me smile. ;D

OK ladies, my soap is on (yes, I watch a soap).  I did study again for the exam tomorrow night and read a chapter out of one of my books.  1/2 a chapter in my other book to go, then it's paper time.  Have a good one.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline confusedme

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #109 on: February 04, 2008, 02:56:06 PM »
Happy Monday everyone!

First of all Queen, so glad to see you back. To say you were missed is an obvious understatement.

All the talk about Mini's hair reminds me of when I used to do kiddo's. Pink Oil never did squat for hers either. It would look great for an hour at best before it would dry out again, and that was when her baby hair was still on her little head. Now that all the baby hair is gone, putting pink oil on it would be like putting water on it...does no good. When I still did her hair, I used the thick grease...I think the last was blue magic or something. I had to start taking her to people with hair styling talent. I suck. It takes me hours to do the simplest things plus I have a weird hair phobia type thing. Loose hair, especially lots of it, makes me really sick to my stomach. Her hair got so thick it just comes out in handfuls. I couldn't take it anymore.

Mum, you are a modern day saint. I have so much admiration for foster and adoptive parents but you surpass that by leaps. You're with them day in and day out with very few breaks, yet you seem upbeat in most of your posts. So many kids with so many needs and you would probably have several more....maybe as many as you could support financially. I lack patience in a major way but if kiddo was home with me all day, I would be bald and crazy. You are a hero in my book, any day.

Cindy, I just have to ask why you named your dog Cheech. I just find it so ironic. I have heard you say many times that you couldn't stand that your mom smoked but when I hear Cheech, I automatically think of Chong and big fatties. LOL

Is depression really that common with medication or is it just one or two specific ones? I don't need meds right now but if it can cause depression I most certainly don't need that. I am such a mess now. Adding something to my life that triggers depression would have me suicidal.

Betty, I totally understand how you feel about your father. I am afraid I will feel that way about mine too. I try hard to love him but he does not make it easy. Why is it most people have one parent that is wonderful and one that is hard to love and sometimes hard to even like. I would give my life for my mother but my father....he definitely can grate on a nerve or 10. I can't imagine trying to take care of him when he becomes older and unable to care for himself. Most people grow ornery with age. If he's this bad now, I don't wanna see the future.

I'm glad you are getting a refund Cindy. Do you actually do all your paperwork by hand? I used to pay a preparer but that was way back when I had no bank account and needed the quick return. For the past 3 or 4 years, I have used online programs from the IRS free file program.

I'm still waiting on a 1099 from SS. I tried to get the lady in the local office to give me the numbers off the form so I could file and get my return. She refused to give it to me saying she could only give it to my husband. What a crock. Like she would know any better that it was him when he did call. Since he is working now I will probably have to wait forever for this form to come in. He tried to call on his lunch break but they apparently close the office at that time. GRRR!!!

I'm hoping when I finally get my return I will feel a lot better. I am having to call screen. I think a new creditor is calling every day. My unemployment is finally coming regularly. Hopefully this week I can pay a bill or two. The first one went totally to a loan against my car. Not a dime left from that one. Most of my second one had to go into the bank to cover some checks. Things are starting to look better financially. I am very relieved for that.
08/13/07 - Diagnosis confirmed
08/30/07 - T-cells 400, VL 6,500 (Baseline)
11/30/07 - T-cells 428, VL 9,950

Offline Ann

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Re: Dating Thread Part XVII-Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Head (You Go Girl)
« Reply #110 on: February 04, 2008, 04:37:53 PM »
I'm going to lock this thread and start a new one, as I know you ladies don't like the long threads. I might not post much over here, but I do try to pay attention! ;)

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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