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Author Topic: On the brink of breaking down  (Read 4201 times)

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Offline nicencuteafrican

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  • Posts: 3
On the brink of breaking down
« on: January 22, 2008, 11:54:05 AM »
hello everyone

I'm new to this site but i feel so much at home that i'm ready to let it all out.That is all my thoughts and fears. I've been HIV positive for 13 years now, never been hospitalised or seriously ill. Of late i've been feeling quite dizzy that sometimes my vision becomes blurred, Went to the doctor yeasterday and did CD4 count test. I'm waiting for the results that may take up to 4days.I'm so nervous and worried , just have a feeling that maybe this might be the beginning of the end. Dont get me wrong i'm very healthy, A bit overweight even. Maybe I  Just need to talk to someone and i hope i've come to the right site

Thank you

   

Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2008, 12:02:59 PM »
What drug combo are you on? Dizzyness/blurred vision is a side effect of some of the drugs.  I have felt the same way many times. Try not to worry so much (which is hard to do) wait for the bloodwork to get back.

You are definantly in the right place. Why don't you start a introduction thread in living with?  You will get the proper welcome there.

Welcome to the forums,

Dan

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2008, 12:08:03 PM »
How long has it been since your last blood work, and what were the numbers?  Unless it was ages ago because you've neglected to regularly endure doctor's visits then you are most likely worrying over nothing.

I hope you are comfortable discussing this further, and welcome you to the board.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline nicencuteafrican

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  • Posts: 3
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2008, 12:13:46 PM »
i have never been on the drugs . I was just thinking maybe it could be because i recently quit smoking . Thought it was high  time i thought seriously about the negative effects smoking has on my health.
I will try and post my intro in the Living with that you mentioned.

Thanks Dan

Offline nicencuteafrican

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Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2008, 12:18:38 PM »
My last bloodwork was 7 years ago in 2000, Then i cannot even remember what the blood count was. Frankly speaking its only now that i'm thinking of visiting the doctor regularly and taking charge so to speak!! All along i've just been taking each day as it comes!

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2008, 01:18:28 PM »
No offense, dear, but you've not been "just been taking each day as it comes" you've just not been taking anything.  Anything seriously with HIV that is.  You know it's not like a diagnosis of a hang nail, it at the very minimum, involves constant monitoring.  If you make the decision not to go on HIV meds for whatever reason (denial, paranoia, etc.) that's your issue, but if you go to the bother of getting an HIV test in the first place and find out it's positive, then only go to the doctor a few times in the span of 13 years you are 1) lucky nothing more serious has happened 2) should say a prayer of thanks 3) go seek some mental health professionals to find why you are so in denial about what is a very, very serious life threatening disease, in the light of so many advance in treatment that don't begin to make a comparison between the year 2008 and 1995.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh -- it's just some tough love.  Please take recommendation #3 seriously, or at the very least consider REGULAR attendance at a local HIV support group, preferably one for long-term survivors if one is in existence (I go to one each month)... of even a combination of the two.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline BT65

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Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2008, 03:35:03 PM »
What Philly said.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline redhotmuslbear

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  • A genuine certified freak of nature, and a hot one
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2008, 09:47:18 PM »
As an HIVer who harbored the virus for over 15 years before receiving a seropositive diagnosis, and at the risk of 'piling on," I must agree with Philly.  Since May 1998 "living with HIV" has meant keeping myself in almost combat-ready condition physically and mentally--"a little overweight" isn't "very healthy"--and staying connected to communities of other HIVers to keep learning as I did from friends who lost their battles over the last 25+ years.
Being thrown the curve of being labeled a non-progressor makes it even more important, not less important, that I stay vigilant against STIs, dietary indifference, laziness, and kidding to myself into thinking that I've got a one-person cure.  Adding on an auto-immune diagnosis that is pending confirmation makes the damned HIV even more real -- treat nothing or, instead,  start immuno-suppressive drugs and re-start HIV meds just in case.

But back to the dizziness.... see a doctor.  It could be anything from anemia to poor lung function, blood pressure problems to mental issues.

Best,
David
"The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." - BF Skinner
12-31-09   222wks VL  2430 CD4 690 (37%)
09-30-09   208wks VL  2050  CD4 925 (42%)
06-25-08   143wks VL  1359  CD4 668 (32%)  CD8 885
02-11-08   123wks off meds:  VL 1364 CD4 892(40%/0.99 ratio)
10-19-07   112wks off meds:   VL 292  CD4 857(37%/0.85 ratio)

One copy of delta-32 for f*****d up CCR5 receptors, and an HLA B44+ allele for "CD8-mediated immunity"... beteer than winning Powerball, almost!

Offline aztecan

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  • Posts: 5,384
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2008, 10:48:49 PM »
Hey Nicencute,

Welcome to the forums. I'm glad you found us and decided to join in.  ;D

Now, if you don't mind my asking, whereabouts do you live? I notice a few British spellings in your post. I also note you said you had a CD4 test done, but not a viral load, which could indicate you are a citizen of the British Isles.

For the record, I also went seven years from initial diagnosis to the time I had my first followup bloodwork. Of course, that was between 1985 and 1992, and things were a bit different.

Have you found a doctor you can trust and who knows what's what with HIV care? That is important, altthough some of us don't have the luxury of many doctors to choose from.

I lucked out and have one who is a gem - even though he's the only HIV doc in the area.

As far as the dizziness goes, it could be something HIV related, or it could be myriad other things. A visit to the doc is in order so he/she can pinpoint what's up.

I had a bout of dizziness that was bad enough I could not walk. It didn't last all that long, just a few days, but it was certainly scary. Never did find the cause.

Keep us posted on how the tests come out. I'll be crossing my fingers for you.

Oh, and congratulations on quitting smoking. I did it in 2007 and now am very glad I did. Hang in there. I will be pulling for you to remain smoke free.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2008, 10:56:50 PM »
Welcome to the forum, Dan.

Mike M

Offline DCGUY2007

  • Member
  • Posts: 315
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2008, 03:05:33 AM »
Welcome to the forum "Nice". I hope things work out for you. Good for you in stopping cigarettes. I hope you get the care you need for your current concern. Please take care of yourself and keep posting.  :D

Offline DanielMark

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  • Posts: 1,475
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2008, 09:08:33 AM »
Welcome to the long-term survivors forum, Nice. It's always good to hear from another on this long, long road.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Dachshund

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Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2008, 10:18:40 AM »
Please remember that we can't diagnose you over the internet. Everything you're telling us should be discussed with your doctor, pronto.

What we can do is emphasize and offer advice. For whatever reason many of us did exactly what you did post diagnosis and continued to whistle past the HIV graveyard. What got our attention was a serious opportunistic infection landing many of us in the hospital. Opportunistic infections that you most likely will avoid with proper health care. Trust me on this one. HIV don't play when it's ready. Save the health risks and the wear and tear the virus is doing to your body by getting all the professional care that you need right now.

Not to frighten you, but my friend Chuck died last summer by waiting too long to start meds. A completely treatable case of Histoplasmosis ended his life at forty two. His compromised immune system did him in, just like it did friends in the early nineties. Chuck knew he was HIV positive, but shrugged it off because he appeared so healthy, two months before he died.

Offline ARMANDO

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  • Posts: 249
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2008, 07:00:44 AM »
i've been hiv + for over 16 yrs and on medication for about 13 yrs.WITH  all the toxicity from the drugs ,i wonder how long my body can last?I work out everyday,eat well,get plenty of rest ,dont drink or smoke and looking at me you would never guess that i'm hiv+.I AM the last one left of about 20 friends ,all of whom were hiv+.HOW long can i be expected to last?IS there any way to really know.I HAVE  blood work done on a regular basis and all is good  but i still wonder how long before the toxicity of all the drugs will take its toll on my liver,kidneys,heart?DOES ANYONE OUT THERE HAVE THESE QUESTIONS?

Offline BT65

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  • Vegas baby!
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2008, 09:19:19 AM »
Armando, our bodies are magnificant machines.  I'm sure if the liver were such a huge worry, I would've died a long time ago.  Don't overly-concern yourself with 'how long will I be around,' etc.  I'm not saying there are no concerns about what the drugs do to our bodies after a certain times.  But we do get blood tests to have things like that monitored.  If there's anything wrong with yours, I'm sure your doctor will let you know.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Joe K

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Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2008, 11:28:10 AM »
I do not want to hijack this thread so I will make this short.  Armando, I have been on HIV meds for 23 years and my numbers now are better than they have ever been.  All my tests are in the normal range, even though I have taken some drugs that can be very hard on the body.  As long as you monitor your health, you will know when something is going wrong and that is why consistent monitoring is so necessary.

And to you Nice, all I can offer is "How important is living to you?"  Assuming you answered, very important, then you need to monitor your health.  I know it can be difficult, for many reasons, but the bottom line is if you don't do it, then who will?  Please do not ignore your health to the point where you are beyond all help.  As others have said, there are many reasons for dizziness and blurred vision, but you need constant monitoring of your health, if for nothing else, to give you peace of mind that all is well.

I urge you to not gamble with your health, because for pozzies like us, once you lose your health, it is gone... forever.

Offline achim-martin

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Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2008, 04:03:39 PM »
Armando:  absolutely correct, don't worry about the drugs too much over the long run. Your organs such as the liver adapt to them after a while so that your body is able to cope with the sideeffects or longterm damage better.
BUT:  stay away of anything else that hurts the liver or keeps it busy all the time, meaning: only little alcohol every so often. Not those frequent little drinks here and there plus/or fat food.
A body can take one or even two risks, but more means:  reduced life expectancy. Thats a general guideline not only for hiv-patients.

Offline OneTampa

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  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #17 on: January 25, 2008, 05:28:17 PM »
As someone who has been HIV positive now for 22 years (all the while on meds) I too join the chorus in urging you to monitor your health on a REGULAR basis and see your physician FREQUENTLY.  I have been extremely fortunate in that I am doing very well because I take the advise listed in the previous sentence.

As others have stated, the dizziness and blurred vision could be caused by any number of things from an inner ear infection, migrane headache, high blood pressure, etc.  Why leave it to guesswork?  Check it out with your physician.

You know we are right because you admitted that you quit smoking.  CONGRATULATIONS! Now continue your great journey to self preservation and healthful improvement.

Best of luck to you and here's hoping that you have a very long and healthy life.  Also, welcome to the Forum.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaŪto frito."

Offline ubotts

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  • Posts: 347
Re: On the brink of breaking down
« Reply #18 on: January 31, 2008, 10:02:27 AM »
HI There,
Glad you decide to join the group and a hip hip hooray for stopping smoking..

I have been hiv poz for 23 yrs now..
Like you I didn't want to go on meds.
16 yrs later, I finally went to my doctor and said .. I am ready..

I was only ready because I felt tired all the time and had a small
rash on my arm....I felt dizzy when I went Christmas shopping, ( I Love to shop) but
that day, I just couldn't get into it...

That's when I went to my Dr..
I was down to 27 t cells...So I knew it was time to get on meds..

Infact, I should of went on sooner, but I felt great, so I thought,
No way am I taking pills when I feel great....WRONG ...

Iam on meds since 2002, its not the worse thing in the world to start
therapy....

In my opinion and experience, I would say, have everything done, wait for
the results, and If you need to be put on meds.. Just DO IT.... ;)
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

 


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