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Author Topic: scared if i was at risk  (Read 7565 times)

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Offline dlcali

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scared if i was at risk
« on: January 19, 2008, 02:07:41 PM »
Hello thank you for taking the time to answer. Here is what happened to me.

Last night I went out with a guy and we hit it off. We went back to his place and things started up. We performed oral on each other. What scares me is the following. I did oral on him for about a minute without a condom. Then after that he got on top of me and put his penis in my mouth for about a minute. Then a couple of times he tried to go all the way. I felt his penis go all the back in my throat. I didn't gag but almost because it was way back there. Well after he wanted to have sex I didn't have a condom and asked him if he did. He said no but he still wanted without a condom. I said no way and got up. He insisted to have sex but we didn't. That is what scared me to think he was willing to do it without carring if he was protected or not. So now I am scared that maybe he was +. Just his behavior not caring if he had a condom or not without really knowing each other. I know I am negative I tested a couple of months ago and have not been active in the last 6 months.

Well wanted to know how risky was it? Is there a slight chance to get infected since he went so deep in my throat? He did not ejaculate. It's just today I woke up with a bump in the back of my thought like a pimple and it hurts.


Well with all that happening I am very scared....Please help!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2008, 03:40:50 PM »
OK, you ought to take a breath, a good one in and let it out slowly. I'm not kidding. Do it now. You're worried about something which is a risk for HIV transmission only in theory. In the real world of HIV it doesn't happen in the manner you're concerned about.

Although there are a very few cases which attribute transmission through giving head to a guy, they are not well documented or really credible. By contrast there are longterm studies of both sero-discordant gay and straight couples who had lots of unprotected mutual oral and only protected intercourse. The result has been not a single sero-negative partner has become infected.

Additionally, your saliva has several elements which inhibit HIV's ability to be transmitted.

You might keep in mind for future reference that good oral care is also a helpful preventive measure against transmission. It's good to know that you are holding firmly about not having intercourse unless a condom is used. That's exactly what you should be doing to protect your health.

Given what you have described I don't see any cause for concern nor for testing.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2008, 11:45:48 AM »
Thank you Andy.

So I was at risk atleast a small risk involved?

Should I test? I am just worried still of what should I do and if I should let it go or really get a test. Not sure.

Thanks all

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2008, 04:52:13 PM »
I've already told you quite clearly that I don't consider testing to be necessary.

If you are going to gnaw away at this, (unnecessarily I might add), then get tested at 13 weeks and collect the inevitable negative result.

In general we recommend that anyone who's sexually active out to regularly have a full STD panel done -- at least annually - as other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV. 
Andy Velez

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2008, 10:50:09 PM »
It has been almost two weeks on Friday. I am experimenting something scary. I know you can not diagnos on symptoms. I just wanted to know if the following is one of the known symptoms of ars.

All over my bottom i have bright red rashes and bumps. I have red bumbs around my groin on my leg. But mostley all over my bum. I am very white and the redness covers all of my bum. Mostly red with swallen bumps on certain areas.....

Just need to know if this is one of a known symptoms of ars. Thanks for the patience and support......

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2008, 10:54:58 PM »
No these are not symptoms of ARS.

It sounds to me like you've got a red rash on your toilet parts. If you're concerned you should show said toilet parts to your doctor.

You don't have HIV.

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2008, 04:03:00 PM »
Sorry me again. I am very worried since it has been 16 days and I have a bad sora throught, body aches and some fever....Man I can't believe it. When is the soonest I can take the test....

Please help out if you can..thanks......

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2008, 05:25:40 PM »
#1 Nothing you did put you at risk for HIV no matter what your frightened mind tells you to the contrary.

#2 Symptoms never tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Yours are in no way suggestive of HIV.

#3 You need to see your doctor or a dermatologist to find out what's up with your symptoms.

#4 This is not an HIV situation. Period.

#5 If you insist on testing for piece of mind do it at 6 weeks after the most recent sexual incident you are concerned about. For future reference, the average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure to the HIV virus. An exposure which I hasten to add you didn't have.   
Andy Velez

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2008, 10:46:50 PM »
Well its been 4 in a half weeks since. I plan to get a test in a couple of weeks. I have been worried last week I had diaharia and this week I broke out with pimples all over my back and on my face. I have never had that in my life since I never get pimples. Especially so many all over. Well can't wait till I know. Anyways last question before the test. If I was infected getting these pimples all over my back and face is this a know symptom? Please don't get upset I promise its the last question. Thank u for the input.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #9 on: February 19, 2008, 11:01:16 PM »
You and I both know that won't be your last question, so don't make promises you can't and won't keep.

It's about time you started reading the advice we've been giving you. We don't do this for laughs, you know. You were not at risk, you don't need to tests. Your symptoms are not caused by HIV because you don't have HIV.

I really don't know how much clearer we can be on this point.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2008, 05:05:17 PM »
No, your pimples are absolutely not an ARS or HIV symptom. Period. End of story.
Andy Velez

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2008, 05:35:08 PM »
Hello again as I promised I will not ask a question. I called the guy today that I was with and gave him oral. He confirmed he is hiv+ doesn't know when he got it. That got me so scared. Especialy the way I have been feeling. On Friday it will be 8 weeks. Since the last time i wrote 4 weeks ago I have had soar throats 2 or 3 days every week and now I have a bad soar throat and fever in bed.

Just putting the fact that I have been so sick the last 6 weeks and he being poz, makes me sooo sad. I have not had a chance to test but now I will have to after getting the news. Anyways thanks guys for all the support.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #12 on: March 12, 2008, 09:04:54 PM »
Good. Get tested at 13 weeks and collect what I expect will be a negative result.

In the meantime discuss your symptoms with your doctor since I don't think they have anything to do with HIV.

And stay productively busy during your waiting time rather than indulging in drama about this issue.
Andy Velez

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #13 on: March 12, 2008, 09:12:24 PM »
so I should wait for 13 weeks or can I test now? Oh so it does merit testing?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #14 on: March 12, 2008, 09:51:04 PM »
No, you don't need to get tested. We've already told you that several times. You weren't at risk. But you just won't let go of this. So I was just going along with YOUR decision to get tested. And by CDC standards that means getting tested at 13 weeks. Otherwise you'll just be back here with more "can I be sure" stuff if you do it before that time frame.

We've told you what we think. You've got this bone and you just keep chewing on it. What is going to happen is that you're going to get a time out very soon for coming back here with more of the same unwarranted worrying.

 
Andy Velez

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #15 on: March 12, 2008, 09:55:31 PM »
sorry for that. I really appreciate your comments and advice.

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #16 on: July 03, 2008, 06:37:07 PM »
hello I am back after a situation that just happened. I was with a t-girl getting a message. I was on my stomach and she was on top. She spread my legs and put cream and started to message my anus. Then she went up and down wit her/he penis and would go up and down were my anis is. I felt the tip of the penis on my hole a few times about 10 times. I could feel it not all the way inside but like a slight presuee in the hole and around it. After I asked him to put a condom and went in briefly. Was there a risk? Should I get tested?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #17 on: July 03, 2008, 07:10:09 PM »
You did not have a risk.

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #18 on: July 14, 2008, 05:13:47 PM »
Sorry but looking back I am doubting if he put a condom on. I was laying down and never saw. He said he got one but I didn't see if he put it on. He went in and I said it hurt and he pulled out. Just one in and out. Was I at risk since it only went in once? I'm getting real scared. Please help thank you all.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #19 on: July 14, 2008, 05:34:49 PM »
Your questions have been answered.

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #20 on: July 23, 2008, 08:14:53 PM »
Just wondering since he went in briefly without a condom maybe 10 seconds I was not at risk? Just need to know if I should test if im at risk or I can put it behind me.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #21 on: July 23, 2008, 08:22:26 PM »
Is there a reason that you don't understand the replies that have been given to you? How many times do you have to be told that you did not have a risk?

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #22 on: July 23, 2008, 08:25:22 PM »
Sorry rapid rod. Don't mean to get anyone upset. Like i mentioned that the person went inside me without a condom and this was anal. So even though she said no risk just want to make sure that even though he didn't use a condom it was brief and I am ok. Sorry sometimes when your nevouse you need reassurance.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #23 on: July 23, 2008, 08:48:16 PM »
Quote
Well after he wanted to have sex I didn't have a condom and asked him if he did. He said no but he still wanted without a condom. I said no way and got up. He insisted to have sex but we didn't.

Did you or didn't you not post the above in your very first post? It's time for you to move on.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #24 on: July 23, 2008, 08:48:50 PM »
So what does this mean Cali?

Sorry but looking back I am doubting if he put a condom on. I was laying down and never saw. He said he got one but I didn't see if he put it on.

Once again your fevered imagination and unfounded fears of HIV infection have over-ruled what little common sense you have.

Nevertheless if you have any reason to doubt that he was wearing a condom, get tested 13 weeks from the date of the encounter. You've been here long enough to know this stuff.

MtD

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #25 on: July 23, 2008, 09:14:50 PM »
Sorry Rapid Rod but that was another situation the first one. The post mentions two. The questions I had is for the latter situation.

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #26 on: July 23, 2008, 09:16:50 PM »
Thanks Matty for your responce

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #27 on: July 23, 2008, 09:28:14 PM »
I agree with Matty that if there is any doubt in your mind as to whether penetration took place, then certainly get tested at 13 weeks. Given what you have described that it was very brief, there was no ejaculation and it was only the one time, I certainly expect you to test negative.

There's a lesson for you to learn here. You can have sex with anyone you like and as often as you want to. Their HIV status is irrelevant as long as whoever the penetrating partner is always, without exception wearing a condom. It's YOUR responsibility to stay alert and make sure that happens.

I expect you to come out of this ok.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline dlcali

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #28 on: July 23, 2008, 09:29:27 PM »
Thanks Andy for your words. I will test and make sure this doesn't happen again.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello need help on something..
« Reply #29 on: July 24, 2008, 07:56:48 AM »
Good.
Andy Velez

Offline dlcali08

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scared if i was at risk
« Reply #30 on: August 17, 2009, 10:33:46 PM »
Hello all thanks for your help. I basically met someone online and I met at their place. We deply kissed for about an hour. Well he sucked me on and off until i came in his mouth. The durrring a 1 hour perior i did oral on him on and off for about a minuted each time. He did not cum in my mouth, not sure if there was pre-cum but i imagine there might have been. He also rimmed me with his mouth for a while so saliva did go into me and fingered me. I also rimmed him with my mouth.

What got me worried is that he wanted to penetrate me and tried without a condom and I stopped him and then asked if he was hiv + and he did admit he was.. So scared now because i know he is and i did perform oral, rimmed him..Please help i am male and this experience is driving me crazy.

well thanks you and hope to get your opinion.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2009, 10:47:55 PM by dlcali08 »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: scared if i was at risk
« Reply #31 on: August 18, 2009, 02:51:38 AM »
If you weren't penetrated you were never at risk of contracting HIV in the situations you've provided.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: scared if i was at risk
« Reply #32 on: August 18, 2009, 07:55:43 AM »
The issue of protecting yourself in terms of sexual transmission of HIV is not complicated. Just use a condom everytime for anal (and vaginal) intercourse.  It really is that simple. Those are the only confirmed risks for HIV transmission sexually. Everything else is risky only theoretically.

When you use a condom it means that the HIV status of your partner is irrelevant. Condoms provide very effective protection. Just make it clear to anyone whom you are with that having intercourse means the insertive partner has to wear a condom. Period. No exceptions.

Nothing else you have mentioned put you at risk for HIV transmission.
Andy Velez

Offline dlcali

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Re: scared if i was at risk
« Reply #33 on: August 21, 2009, 09:19:06 AM »
Thanks for the quick answer. There was no penetration just a lot of oral that is what gets me worried. 4 days later i am sick soar throat. Should i test in this incident just in case?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: scared if i was at risk
« Reply #34 on: August 21, 2009, 09:38:21 AM »
Sore throats happen for lots of reasons. If it persists you should discuss it with your doctor.

And no, you do not need to get tested over this incident.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: scared if i was at risk
« Reply #35 on: August 21, 2009, 11:28:09 AM »
dl,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

I have also disabled the new account you created. As you seem to have remembered the details of your original account, please stick with it. If you create a new account again, you will be permanently banned as we do not allow more than one account per person. This time around I'm giving you the benefit of doubt that it was a genuine mistake.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.



You've been coming to this forum long enough now to have learned what is and what isn't a risk for hiv. Once again you did not have a risk for hiv infection.

As for your sore throat, while it's nothing to do with hiv, it could possibly be gonorrhea. Oral gonorrhea is fairly common amongst gay men who give oral. However, this is an hiv website. If you are worried about having gonorrhea in your throat, go to a doctor and get it swabbed. And NO, if you did get gonorrhea orally, it changes nothing where hiv is concerned in this particular instance.

Ann
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Offline dlcali

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Re: scared if i was at risk
« Reply #36 on: August 21, 2009, 07:26:29 PM »
thank you Ann it had been awhile and did not remember the info. Thanks again. As you can imagine there is always fear since 4 days later now I have fever and in bed so the mind goes crazy convincing myself i was infected by the above incident.

Offline dlcali

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Re: scared if i was at risk
« Reply #37 on: August 22, 2009, 12:15:45 PM »
Sorry but had night sweats fever and body aches and soar throght can this br seroconversion 6 days later? I am extremly stressed since I never gave head so much and thinking there is a slight risk. I guess risk is less since he did not ejaculate in my mouth. But being so suck thinking serconvrrsion started

Offline RapidRod

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Re: scared if i was at risk
« Reply #38 on: August 22, 2009, 12:20:49 PM »
See your doctor if you have a concern about your symptoms you've never had a risk of contracting HIV.

 


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