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Author Topic: info for poz/neg couples  (Read 1247 times)

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Offline PeteNYNJ

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  • When life gives you AIDS...make LemonAIDS!
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info for poz/neg couples
« on: January 19, 2008, 01:56:31 AM »
Hi gang

Been dating a great guy who is neg.   Was looking for some good info to share with him about poz/neg couples regarding safe sex, emotional issues, etc

anyone know a good site or have some good info

Rock on

pete

Offline PaulinNJ

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Re: info for poz/neg couples
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2008, 09:39:46 AM »
I wish I did...but I live in a foreign counry called New Jersey just over the GW Bridge. It's been a bone of contention for me for years that there's no outlet or sites etc. for sero-mixed couples as my partner is neg. What I might suggest is calling Friends In Deed in SoHo (Broadway and Houston I know they have a site - friendsindeed.org?) and asking them for information about any resources. They are a fantastic out-of-this-world group of people! I went to a number of their 'big group' meetings years ago (cut short by 9/11) when I ws first diagnosed with AIDS and a few of the guys mentioned they had been a retreats for sero-mixed couples. I suspect Friends In Deed either has that information or knows where to find it. PLEASE let me know what you find out as it would be helpful to me as well.

Paul
Laugh often - the alternative ain't worth it!
"Ain't I a stinker?" -- Bugs Bunny
From 120 t's, shingles and high VL in 2001
To 1200+ t's and undetectable in 2007.
2010 remain undedect. and 1000 CD4.

Online BT65

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Re: info for poz/neg couples
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2008, 10:30:31 AM »
Pete, trying pm'ing Ann, our lovely goderator.  She, I think has some wonderful information.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline hermes

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  • Posts: 22
Re: info for poz/neg couples
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2008, 10:33:55 AM »
Pete,

I just posted a thread on a new graphic novel I read recently about pos/neg relationships. It's called Blue Pills by Frederik Peeters and it's a wonderful book that sheds some light and insights on the issues that come up in these kinds of relationship. This would be a great book for both you and your bf to read. *hugs*


Offline PeteNYNJ

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  • When life gives you AIDS...make LemonAIDS!
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Re: info for poz/neg couples
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2008, 11:22:43 AM »
I will check out the book.

Paul - I am also in NJ so I feel your pain.  I dont know if I am ready for a retreat with my guy, more of a "this is what we can do, can't do and here is the documented proof"  Plus also, how to deal with emotional baggage "what if I get sick?  what to tell friends and family?"

Good idea about asking Ann

Thanks

Offline PaulinNJ

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  • Posts: 124
Re: info for poz/neg couples
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2008, 12:52:52 PM »
Figured I would put Friends In Deed out there as a source as I heard mention of the retreat there so thought they might have some viable info on sites etc. I have no doubt it's a bit early in the 'dating game' (*MWAH* for those of old enough to remember the game show) for a retreat. Sounds like you're on the way to finding some info though. For some reason I thought you are in NYC and not NJ so you know what I mean by living in a foreign land! Let me know if you find anything good...I've been with my partner for over four years and it's still an issue and likely always will be. Keep me posted!
Hugs,
Paul
PS Are you anywhere near the NE corner of NJ? I am about as close to the NY State line as you can get (about 15 minutes north of me is Rockland County).
Laugh often - the alternative ain't worth it!
"Ain't I a stinker?" -- Bugs Bunny
From 120 t's, shingles and high VL in 2001
To 1200+ t's and undetectable in 2007.
2010 remain undedect. and 1000 CD4.

Offline CowboyPOZ

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  • Posts: 61
Re: info for poz/neg couples
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2008, 02:13:04 AM »
I feel your pain. I have been with my neg partner for nearly three years now. There is nothing other than his silly questions to my doctor now and then. I live in the bible belt so there are no support groups for people like us here. It is very frustrating to not have other couples around who are in our situation. Sometimes I have to shake him awake and remind him I am sick. If you guys find anything let me know. I may sign us up for a retreat if they still have them.

Offline leatherman

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Re: info for poz/neg couples
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2008, 01:53:58 PM »
It took over 10 yrs after my last partner passed away for me to finally get pass the mental/emotional issues (of my own mortality and of a poz/neg relationship), and to actually feel healthy enough, to finally give in to my best friend of all those years and change our "friendship" into our "relationship". We just marked our 3rd offical anniversary, even though it's actually been a 12 yr relationship where we just didn't call it that or have sex for the first 9 yrs. LOL

I've been with my partner for over four years and it's still an issue and likely always will be.

of course it'll always be a big deal. HIV is a serious contagious illness. As long as one is poz and one is neg, it'll always have to be an issue - just not an issue that causes arguements or strife in the relationship hopefully.

Sometimes I have to shake him awake and remind him I am sick.

do what I do - barf! Nothing like taking my meds and running to the bathroom to puke to remind my honey that I've got some problems. LOL

mikie
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

 


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