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Author Topic: Ex-girlfriend 'joking' about HIV positive status  (Read 3345 times)

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Offline mrwhiskas4

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Ex-girlfriend 'joking' about HIV positive status
« on: December 21, 2010, 08:38:42 AM »
Hi All,
I'd like to begin by saying I am a 19 year old male, I had started my first semester at college when I met a girl who seemed to be everything I liked in a girl, immediately we hit it off and a week later started dating, a week after this we had sex, for the first time we used a condom, as we were both virgins. About a week after this encounter, my girlfriend came to me in tears, confessing that she hadn’t been completely honest with me, earlier this year she had been in a non-sexual long-term relationship with a boy she knew regularly cheated on her, having unprotected sex with multiple partners, she then went on to tell me that her ex had come home late one night, drunk and frustrated with her for ‘not giving it up’, she broke down and told me that she had had sex with him out of fear for her life, and told me that a condom was not involved.
Between our first sexual encounter and my girlfriends confession, we had had unprotected vaginal sex on two occasions, and upon hearing her story began to doubt her, if she had lied about being a virgin, what else was she lying about or keeping from me? I confronted her asking whether her ex had had anything I should know about and be tested for, she looked at me and grinned and said 'Oh, I’ve got HIV didn’t I tell you?’ Instantly I panicked and begged her to tell me that she was joking, she shrugged it off and laughed and said 'Of course I don’t have it silly, I’m just messing around', however despite these claims the seed of doubt had been planted in my mind. I continued to see this girl until we broke up a week later, however during that time we did not have any sex, unprotected or otherwise.
Several days after our break up I developed a case of the sniffles, which later turned into body chills, a cough which produced mucus, fatigue and after a couple of days a fever which broke after one night. I set myself in bed and prepared for an onset of flu, 2 days later I was up and about again and feeling much better, during this period I also had numerous spots that resembled acne on my chest. With my ex's 'joke' still playing on my mind I turned to the internet to research HIV, and chanced upon the symptoms of seroconversion, immediately my mind went into overdrive and I became convinced that I had contracted HIV and my ex had been lying all along.
Immediately I confronted her about it, and she shut down telling me to leave her alone despite the fact that I told her I had a right to know if she had given me a life changing disease. Her resistance to admitting either way that she was positive or negative strengthened my belief that she had HIV, and I left her apartment extremely stressed. For the next 6 weeks I slept and ate poorly, my mind entirely convinced that I had contracted HIV, hating myself for trusting her. Eventually I decided to go to a hospital and get the result confirmed, so I could begin to accept what I had and try to move on with my life. Upon arriving at the hospital I discussed the situation with my doctor, who then told me I was very low risk for contracting HIV; however he requested that I take a full STD test to confirm everything was normal, and sent me on my way.
One week later the results came back, imagine my shock when they were negative. Immediately I felt relieved, the dark days were finally over, I could move on with my life. For the next few weeks my outlook on life became much brighter, and I regained some of my old enthusiasm. However, a chance meeting with my ex, and her statement that ‘she hadn’t been completely honest with me about some things’ (things that she refused to disclose), once again got my mind turning over, and I began to doubt the hospital result, what if it was wrong? After all, the doctor had only told me that the test ‘detected the HIV in my blood a month from infection’ (it had been 7 weeks 4 days from my potential exposure), he didn’t name the test and to this day I am unsure what test was performed.
It is now 11 weeks 5 days since my potential exposure, and during the day I am experiencing many itches, which feel like insect bites all over my body, particularly being centred on my arms, top of my chest and scalp, however there are no marks there when I look and no rashes. The spots on the top of my chest have no cleared up but the area still feels itchy. I have also had a lymph gland on the left side of my neck swollen to the size of a mothball for the last 3 weeks, and despite the fact I have had two colds in that period and the weather outside is perpetually below zero I have once again convinced myself I have HIV and that the hospital test has missed something.
My question to you is, what are my chances of having had a false negative result, and actually having HIV, what is the most likely test that was peformed and if not could these ‘itches’ just be a product of my overactive imagination?
Many thanks to you for reading this; I wish you a Merry Christmas and the best health in the New Year.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2010, 08:40:25 AM by mrwhiskas4 »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Ex-girlfriend 'joking' about HIV positive status
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2010, 09:22:03 AM »
MRW, essentially I think you are worrying needlessly. None  of your symptoms are in any way HIV specific. More importantly you have tested negative at 7 weeks, whatever your doubts maybe about it. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so withn 4-6 weeks after a risky incident.

Get tested again at 13 weeks for a conclusive negative result. I do expect you are going to test negative.

For future reference, the only time you can safely dispense with using condoms is when both partners test negative together at a reliable point and are committed to a securely monogamous relationship. Until if and when that happens you need to use a condom everytime for vaginal and anal intercourse. No exceptions.

I expect you to come out of this ok.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline mrwhiskas4

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  • Posts: 2
Re: Ex-girlfriend 'joking' about HIV positive status
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2010, 04:10:12 PM »
Hey,
Just a quick question...If i had a PCR test at 8 weeks 5 days which came back negative, is there still any reason for me to take a 13 week antibody test. I ask because I read that the PCR test detects the HIV virus in your blood from 2-3 weeks post-exposure.
Many Thanks
mrwhiskas4

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Ex-girlfriend 'joking' about HIV positive status
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2010, 06:09:24 PM »
The PCR RNA is approved for testing at 28 days past an exposure.

You're way past that time so you need to do have a standard Elisa test done when you get tested.

Andy Velez

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Ex-girlfriend 'joking' about HIV positive status
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2010, 06:18:22 PM »
PCR-RNA tests are supplemental tests that are used in conjunction with an antibody test. As Andy advised you, your 3 month test will be conclusive.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Ex-girlfriend 'joking' about HIV positive status
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2010, 04:43:10 AM »
Mr,

You will still need to confirm any PCR result with antibody testing, whether the PCR is negative or positive. There simply are no short cuts to hiv testing.

As you have been told, your seven week negative is highly unlikely to change. You do not need any test other than an antibody test at the three month point. And I expect it to also be negative.

PCR testing is very expensive and time consuming. By the time the results come back, it will probably be pretty much time for you to have your conclusive test with a rapid antibody test where you can have your test within the hour, instead of two or three weeks.

Ann
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