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Author Topic: Some reassurance and clarification  (Read 5794 times)

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Offline scared99

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Some reassurance and clarification
« on: January 15, 2008, 05:14:11 AM »
I have read the transmission lesson I just need a little reassurance. I fingered and kiss a woman whos status I dont know. I have been beating myself up about this and worried sick. I read that the infectous fluid is in the cervix, but when a woman has an orgasm does that fluid come down is there a high risk? I am not sure of the status of my fingers which may be irrelivant. I just feel like I am going to be the one. Is there any chance at all?

Offline Ann

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2008, 05:21:05 AM »
scared,

Neither kissing nor fingering are risks for hiv infection. Not one person has ever been infected by these routes and you will not be the first.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence. Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2008, 06:51:17 AM »
Does the infectous fluid in the cervix come down with orgasm? She told me that she did. Like I said I dont know the status of my fingers but I had a hangnail the other day and i pulled it off. Just to check like an hour later I put hand sanitizer on it and could still feel the sting, but that contradics the fact that a cut seals itself off very soon after the cut happens. I realize it has never happend but is it possible?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2008, 07:55:37 AM »
You were never at risk. Move on.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2008, 09:59:16 AM »
No one has ever been infected via fingering. It's one of the most common of sexual activities and if it was a means of transmission we would have known it decades before today. It's safe to say that you won't make history by becoming the first to become infected in that manner.

For some reason you seem to be unduly anxious and guilty about this incident. That makes me think you were straying outside of a relationship for this sexual event. If I'm correct about that it's the sort of experience that kicks up a lot of feelings but has nothing to do with HIV science. It's just your mind working overtime to no good purpose. This was a non-risk incident for HIV. Period. End of story.   
Andy Velez

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2008, 10:07:49 AM »
Thank you Andy. You are correct I feel awfull. I appreciate your responses, Thank you very much. I am sure you all have seen that there are many sites that say there is a risk with fingering the majority say very small however still a risk. I am not trying to question anyones knowledge it is my own ignorance, but is there a scientific reason why fingering is not a risk at all, or just becuase theres never been a case of it happening. It is so hard to have an optimistic out look. I feel doomed and that a negative test would be a miricale. I imagine you guys would not recommend testing? I'd appreciate as many points of view as possible. Thank you for your time.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2008, 12:52:59 PM »
You have no HIV reality-based need for testing because you weren't at risk. If you need to test strictly for your own peace of mind then do it at 13 weeks. It's a waste of resources to do that, but maybe that's the only thing that will get you to let go of this unwarranted concern.

It's your choice.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2008, 09:56:26 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2008, 03:56:02 AM »
I am starting to realize I wasn't really at risk, but I am wondering why there is a debate about fingering being a risk. I mean in 25 years I would think there would be a clear cut undisputible answer. Can anyone explain the reasoning behind this? Why do some perople say there is a possible risk? Also just out of curiousity is it possible for PN to happen just 4 or 5 months after infection? All thought apprieciated.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2008, 03:59:17 AM »
No, HIV does not cause PN a few months after infection. The causes of PN in HIV positive people are not properly understood and are generally related to toxicities associated with certain anti-HIV medications.

As for fingering, we've explained this to you already.

MtD

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2008, 09:27:27 AM »
Thanks for your responses. Just wondering is fingering the same risk level as kissing? For someone to have fingering as there only possible exposure would you bet the world they werent infected? Would you say absolute no chance at all?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2008, 09:39:10 AM »
Fingering and kissing is no risk and you've already been told this.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2008, 09:57:12 AM »
We can't account for the mistaken, inaccurate and even ignorant disinformation that's out there. All we can do is provide you with well informed answers grounded in both experience and HIV science. If you continue surfing for other stuff to scare yourself with, believe you will find it. All to no good purpose of course.

Happily, this time out you have no cause for concern.
Andy Velez

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #12 on: January 17, 2008, 02:59:37 AM »
As in most cases it is hard for me to let this go and not worry. I know there have been no documented cases of hiv transmission through fingering, but are there any cases in debate of fingering transmission? Also when a girl orgasms does the fluid come down from the cervix?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #13 on: January 17, 2008, 03:35:10 AM »
Look kid, if you're having troubles coping with anxiety and worries you should consult a counselor or therapist, we can't provide you with that sort of support.

We've told you that you weren't at risk. Really that's all we can do. You've gotta deal with your fears yourself.

MtD

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #14 on: January 18, 2008, 07:21:39 AM »
I want to say thank you. You all are doing an admrable thing here. Although it is hard to completely rid myself of the fears without a test, your responses have made me feel much better. I send my best to each of you. Along with my prayers for a negative test I will say one for each of you. Thanks again for your responses.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2008, 08:35:47 AM »
Thanks for your prayers.

Fortunately your feelings aren't facts. So no matter that those anxious thoughts may pop up, they don't change the facts of the situation. And the facts are you weren't at risk.

Take a breath when you get scared and just keep going.

Based on what you've told us your negative test result is a slam dunk.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2008, 09:54:09 AM »
Thank you Andy. I am in the deployed in the Military and I just found out that I am going to get the oral test tommorow. I am very nervous. I pray you are right Andy. I am more scared now that I know I am going to get the test then I was before I knew.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #17 on: January 18, 2008, 10:57:11 AM »
Getting tested pretty much always raises everyone's anxiety level. But even if you go in there with your knees knocking it doesn't affect the result. And in your case a negative result is a slam dunk.

Andy Velez

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #18 on: January 19, 2008, 05:23:28 AM »
Thanks for the help I just tested negative with the Bio-rapid 1+2 blood test, used by the military. It was negative. The only thing is they only waited 15 min not 20 but there was only the control line and no sign on another line at all at 15 min.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #19 on: January 19, 2008, 06:33:04 AM »
scared,

It's no surprise you tested hiv negative - you didn't have a risk.

Don't start splitting hairs over how the test was performed. Do you seriously think the person who did the test didn't know what they were doing? They give you the test because they want to know your hiv status, not just for the hell of it. You can bet a year's wage the test was done properly.

You ARE hiv negative and it's time you moved on with your life.

Make sure you use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple! If you haven't already, read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #20 on: January 19, 2008, 11:24:44 AM »
In the bio rapid blood test the control line showed up within like 5 min and not positive line. but they only waited for 15 min not the full 20. Does the positive line show up with the control usually or at least shortly after?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #21 on: January 19, 2008, 12:21:26 PM »
The Bio Rad HIV1/HIV2 test only takes 10 minutes to obtain your result. It is an FDA approved antibody test.

Offline scared99

  • Member
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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2008, 09:39:14 AM »
It wasn't the Bio Rad it was the BioRapid-HIV1+2 blood test made by a company called BioKit. Anyone ever heard of it?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2008, 10:01:17 AM »
It's a valid test. You are HIV negative. Which we knew already because you weren't at risk.

How about letting go of coming up with more detials to fret about and instead appreciate that result by getting on with your life... That's not a question. That's a strong suggestion.
Andy Velez

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #24 on: January 25, 2008, 01:13:24 PM »
I dont know what is going on. I told myself after I got the test all my worries would go away. Now I find myself worrying about a false negative. I realize the BioRapid test is FDA approved. Could someone tell me the standards that have to be met for FDA approval. Im sorry about all this but i having trouble trusting the test.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #25 on: January 25, 2008, 02:05:03 PM »
scared,

You were never at risk in the first place. Your test result is valid. You do not have hiv.

If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you will have read the following:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #26 on: February 01, 2008, 01:06:40 PM »
Andy agian I am sorry to bother you. I am worrying about armpit lymph nodes sweeling. It almost feels like a tendon but the left kind of feels like a ball. If I put my fingers into my armpit and push it and move my fingers side to side it will also move the oppisite way my fingers are moving. hard to explain. I would appreciate any help thank you.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #27 on: February 01, 2008, 01:19:21 PM »
Pushing, prodding and otherwise bothering your lymph nodes is exactly what you should NOT be doing. They're very sensitive and you can create a problem where none exists, at least as far as HIV is concerned.

As you have been told repeatedly, you are HIV negative. See your doctor if you continue be concerned about your lymph nodes.

And you are definitely going to get a time out if you continue to come back here with your HIV worries which have no basis in HIV science.
Andy Velez

Offline scared99

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #28 on: February 07, 2008, 12:09:26 PM »
Thanks for your help. I am starting to feel better. I just have something I want to run by you all. Transmission has never occuerd via cunnulings, correct? The reason I ask is because I would think a good precentage of the time fingering is involed in cunnulings. So this would support the fact even more that fingering is not a risk since there has never been a case in either action. Am I thinking on the right track? If so, I have heard that there have been a few cases of transmission between lesbian that have no other risks, how does that occur?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some reassurance and clarification
« Reply #29 on: February 07, 2008, 12:38:10 PM »
Cunnilingus is theoretically a risk. In the real world of HIV transmission doesn't happen that way. As far as lesbians becoming infected that way, the issue has often come up of the woman in question being bisexual and having had exposures other than with another woman.

And no, you're not on the right track here. It's way past time for you to get on with your life. You are HIV negative. Continuing to worry and wonder and come up with more what ifs will not serve you well. And it will get you timed out for 30 days. As Ann said, consider yourself warned.

Now, get on with other things.
Andy Velez

 


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