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Author Topic: Dating Thread - Part XVI: Go On That Date, Sleep In Late, Make It A Great 2008!  (Read 27319 times)

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Offline BT65

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Cin, I'm missing Queen too. 

I've been coloring my hair since I was 16.  Blonde, jet-black, then blonde.  Been blonde for the last few years.  I have to deep condition it all the time.  I do it myself, but I'm used to it.  And I go to a beauty supply store to get the color.  So I like it also.  Well, you've seen it when I had the pic of me on here.  I like your color also.

Yes, Flo continues to be a consistent visitor.  Hopefully the GYN will have some answers.  I wonder where everyone's at?  Come on, ladies.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Maybe everyone else is getting laid tonight except for us?   :D
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Oh, I will be in such a spiteful mood if that happens!!! :D
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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OMG, its 16 degrees here this morning with a wind chill of -1 degrees!  The dew point is even down to -2, I didn't know you could have a negative dew point!  The wind is blowing at about 20mph.  This is SO cold for Maryland.  I look forward to watching the football games today, but I feel sorry for those players!  Go Pats and Go Packers!

I put off going to the store yesterday because I was fasting.  I am trying to convince myself to go out at 10am before all of the church-goers get out.  I hate Walmart on a weekday, and a Sunday is going to be nuts.  I have told myself that all I am going to get is a few things I need so that I can make lunches this week.  Forget doing the entire list! 

Well, you could hear a pin drop in here, so many of you have been away.  I guess BT and I will be holding the thread together until this hiatus is over, I just hope that everyone is doing alright.

My blood sugar is 89 this morning which is perfect and unheard of!  I am psyched!  Time for breakfast!

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: January 20, 2008, 02:57:05 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Wow Cin, a blood sugar of 89 after 3 pieces of cake?  I'd like to know how you do that! ;)  Yes, I guess we're going to be holding down the fort until some more ladies decide to join us. 

Well, it's -1 outside this morning.  And it's deceiving because the sun is out.  It's too cold for polar bears, let alone humans!  I'm trying to think if I have any reason for going out, which I don't think I do.  I can't believe it's so cold.  I didn't even go to church. 

OK ladies, let's hear something from ya!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Well I keep checking in I just don't have much to contibute...LOL! Just school, students, and my dog!  :) Stay warm ladies.

Offline BT65

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Oh, Viv, we'd love to hear some of your stories from your school! 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Insulin pumps are incredible.  I corrected a very high 300+ blood sugar at bedtime last night with an extra dose of insulin.  I did the ENTIRE list at WalMart and was home by 1115am.

I was so tired, so I just rested and surfed the net.  Then I got some energy?!?!?!  I was going to walk on my treadmill, but before that, i started straightening my closet, throwing out shoes that I hadn't worn in a year.  I love when that happens, when you don't have to think about whether or not you REALLY need to keep something, you just toss it.

I live like such a pauper and don't have many new clothes or anything, so I hate to throw things out, but I am ready to "clean as I go" and start tossing shit.  Its a great feeling, but.....

I caught myself getting weepy and it was really weird.  Could it be that I am afraid of change?  Afraid of losing things that make me who I am?  Afraid of a new start?  Shit, I WANT all of those things!  So, onward I will go, into whatever future this home holds for me, whatever future Iceman holds for me.....

So, I got on that treadmill and walked this time, no running, because it threw me into a tailspin 2 weeks ago with the neck and back and vertigo stuff.  I went 1-1/4 miles in 20 minutes, walking very fast at about 3.5.  I lost my balance a little, but pushed through.

My sugar was 124 before walking and a low 73 after walking, so I dialed my pump down to 50%.  This helps it cut back the amount of insulin you get each hour (kinda like an IV drip).  My alarm just went off, yes, I beep, so I have to go test and turn the throttle back up to 100%.

Yes, Viv, I would also be interested in hearing about some of your Daytime Drama with the little ones!  LOL

Time for football, and still no word from Queen.  I am ready to call the local hospitals.  We KNOW this is not like her.  Dammit, I'm getting REALLY worried now.

Hang in there, BT, and I'll let all of you know if I hear anything.

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Cin, I recycle clothes.  I take clothes back to Goodwill and that's where I get my new clothes from.  Recycling is really great for the soul.

I've found myself in a funk today and there's no reason for it, there's no explanation, and I see no solution, except that tomorrow is a new day.  I was eating today, and I was going to study for my ethics exam, but I can't hold information in right now.  I just feel like I don't want to do anything, not even take a shower.  The only thing I did today was to brush my teeth (well, actually, soak them because I have dentures), and brush out my mouth.  Other than that, I haven't really done shit.  And I feel a little, um, discumbobulated (I don't even know if that's the correct spelling or if that's a word).  My head doesn't feel right, the thinking part of me.  Part of it could be because I haven't been to a meeting in a couple weeks.  You know, I need my meetings to kind of keep focused.  I just don't feel like taking a shower to go, and I'm not going to one without taking a shower.  So, I'm here kind of with my foot 1/2 in and 1/2 out of knowing what to do and deciding if I really want to do it or not.  Does anyone else have those kind of days? ???
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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BT~

I have days like that all of the time.  I make a plan to do this, that and the other thing over the weekend.  Then the weekend arrives and I figure out how I can cut my "plan" back so that I don't have to go to as many places, stay in a store too long or, yes, even leave the house at all.

I used to be really good at doing one small errand each night after work M-Th, and also making sure I did laundry on weeknights.  That would allow me to have free time all weekend long, so I could veg as much as I wanted.  Sure, there are plenty of times I don't even have the motivation to shower and I stay in my sweats all day.  If no one sees me, then it doesn't matter, I say.

I think we can all chalk it up to fatigue.  And eating too much sugar, lol.  I still have half of that cake left, btw, but the tub of frosting is getting low, lol.  I have been frosting as I go.  Iceman is lucky that there will be any left for him tomorrow night.  We have a "rendez-vous" scheduled and I can't wait!  Its kinda cute!  LOL  He and I are so comfortable together, I am wondering if I am missing anything.  Its like we've been together for so much longer, and its not even three months yet.

OK, so I got a little crazy earlier and looked up Queen's home phone online.  The address doesn't jive with the area she's in, its more rural, so its not her phone number.  I looked up hospitals and found one that is in her area.  Am I crazy to think about calling there?  I don't know what else to do, and I think that I may be one of the closest people to her on here.  I just don't know.  :(  Anyone with any ideas (GUYS, chime in) please PM me.

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: January 20, 2008, 07:41:23 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Cin, just sent you a pm.  Yes, I've been lazing all day in my sweats.  It's really too cold to go anywhere here anyway.  The high today was lik 5 out. :o  I took a nap.  There are a lot of things I need to do for myself (health wise) that I should be taking care of.  It's just so hard for me to get motivated.  I need to call the diabetes educator and go back in and talk to her.  My sugars have not been good at all lately, which is my own fault.  And I constantly buy more sugar!  Just two days ago, I went to CVS and bought a bunch of Russel Stover candy hearts.  It seems like I just can't break away from the sweets.  You know, I became diabetic when I was in a coma from a bladder infection where the poison leaked into my bloodstream and I became septic.  The feeding they were giving me had an unusually high sugar content in it-so I got "turned into" a diabetic while in the coma.  I didn't follow a diabetic diet for years after that.  I just drank sugar pop, ate what I wanted.  I only drink diet soda now, lots of water.  But when it comes to desserts, I bust.  I need to exercise, I need to eat right, blah blah blah.  At the beginning of last summer when I quit smoking, I got to the point where I was able to quit taking Insulin for the diabetes through diet and exercise.  I need to get to that point again.  Of course, last summer was when my mum's last days started and that was very stressful.  Now, I don't really have an excuse. 

Anyway, how did the football games turn out?  Are they over yet?  I don't follow football, so I have no clue.  I watch the Chicago Cubs when baseball season is on.  Anyway, that's my rant for now.  Cin, if/when you find out anything about Queen, please call me.  Yes, I think you are the closest person to her here.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Damn F*%KING Giants beat the Packers.  GO PATRIOTS, I say.

But on a much more serious note, tonight I am praying for Paulette and for Queen.  Hang in there girls.  Paulette, I am so sorry.  Queen, I hope you're safe.

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Good morning ladies:I just wonder where everyone's at.  This is getting a little tiring.  I'm up early today. Got up at 7:15.  I wanted to go back to sleep, but I forced myself to get up.  I'm trying to get back into a routine of getting up early/nap in afternoon/getting to bed early at night.  I've just never really been a morning person.  And I have a headache; if that continues, I will be laying back down. 

Cin, I never did get into football.  Like I said, I like the Chicago Cubs.  Yeah, I even met Harry Carey, their old announcer.  I don't know if you know anything about them, but the Cubs fans are diehard.  And I am.  Sorry your team lost, though.  And yes, let's keep Paulette and Queen in our prayers.  OK ladies.   Opening up the floor for anyone who would like to comment. ;)
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Dragonette

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hey ladies,

I really hope Queen is not in trouble... starting to be concerned about her and running all sorts of scenarios.

I wish I could post more... trying not to overdo it. Cin, thanks for the PM. My BF's fine, he was not even sore. amazing. But he was quite stunned. Hope things will be easier for you this week at work.

I am preparing my presentation, which I am dead nervous about so hardly slepy. dunno if I am a perfectionist (doubt it) or just scared of criticism. I have very mixed feeling about my bosses, on one hand want their approval, on the other despise them for not doing their job preoeply and stealing my ideas several times, on the other, I am still very grateful for how the accepted my HIV. though I wonder sometimes if they dared more b/c of it. oh well we'll never know, and sometimes it's better to remain in the dark about shady things.

Betty, sorry things are "off"... maybe you should go to a meeting, I know you really enjoy it. It will bring you closer to "you". Have you ever listened to that AA radio, someone posted a link to it, in Milker's thread on Living with. I never realized how many people struggle with addictions, that I am not alone... I guess we're all addicted to one thing or another. Anxiety is addictive too... as well as the internet. Yup...

Speaking of addiction, reminds me of a good read, seeing as you mentioned you like rock star bio's, have you read the one of Anthony Kiedis from the Chilly Peppers, that's a good read.

So yeah, sometimes feeling follow actions. I know it's awfully hard to push one's self to do something when you feel like this.... but getting out of yourself, going for a walk, calling a friend, going to a meeting, jumping in the shower, anything helps break out of the cycle... For better and worse it's (mostly) all in the mind.

Now speaking of action, I had better stop procrastinating and face my dreaded presentation and all the feelings of inferiority and incompetence that working on it brings.

Lots of love to everyone,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline BT65

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So good to hear from you Drag!  Hey, you know, you're right about forcing ourselves to do something to break out of a funk.  I tried to get a routine down about a year ago-getting up, getting coffee, reading my morning meditation, watching a little news, exercising, breakfast, etc. etc. etc.  It just got pretty busted up when I went through the whole thing with my mum's death and dying.  I never got back into it.  Actually, Debra posted in her thread in the living with section about her problems with Sustiva.  I've been having a lot of them she's talking about.  However, I'll give it another week and see what's happening then.  Could be a variety of things, from GYN problems to meds.  I hate it when there's no clear-cut answers to medical issues. 

About addiction, yes, I think most people are addicted to something.  If it's not drugs or sugar or caffeine, you're right-emotions are easy to get addicted to.  They're like a cycle of things that it seems hard to pull out of.  I guess you have to treat them like any other addiction-admit you're powerless, etc. 

Anyway, I should be in the shower, but I had to do my FAFSA before I let things get too far from that.  That's something that had to be done.  I need to do laundry today probably.  My brother is coming over tonight, so that'll be something different.  Anyway, ladies, have a good one. And Drag, good luck with your presentation.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline cjc

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Hello ladies. I am recovering from a very nasty stomach virus. I was so sick I forgot to take my meds Friday night and didn't go to work Saturday or Sunday. Hope I still have a job. I see ya'll have been asking where Queen is. Does anyone know if she is okay?          No getting laid for me, at least not while I feel like this. I do have a date Saturday night but I think I am going to back out. since he's negative I wouldn't be getting any anyway.      Moonlight, you got the name of my Dragon. It is from "Kill Em All" Metallica's first album. I love the name and sometimes use it for my Virus too. I have a couple other dragons to name but am kinda losing interest cause nobody else is playing and I have them all except one. I will write more when I feel better. Cristy

Offline BT65

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Cristy, sorry to hear about your stomach crap, but glad you checked in.  No, no one has heard from Queen.  Cin even made a couple calls with no results.  I have a question for you-why wouldn't you have a chance of getting laid going out with a negative guy?  There are things that can be done to prevent passing the virus.  How long have you been poz?  Just wondering. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline cjc

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Cristy, sorry to hear about your stomach crap, but glad you checked in.  No, no one has heard from Queen.  Cin even made a couple calls with no results.  I have a question for you-why wouldn't you have a chance of getting laid going out with a negative guy?  There are things that can be done to prevent passing the virus.  How long have you been poz?  Just wondering. 
                                                                                       Thanks Betty. I have been diagnosed since September 2004 and believe I  caught this in March of 2004.    I guess I am just nervous about the date with the guy. I know how to protect myself and prevent transmission, I think that is just an excuse for me not to go.  Cause it is a first date, he wouldn't be getting any anyway.      Dragonette, glad to hear from you and really glad your BF is okay.     ML, glad you will be seeing Iceman soon. Don't overdo it on the cake, girl. Save him some.              Hope queen and Paulette are okay. I will have to read up and see what is going on. Later, ladies. Cristy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Hi GFs~

Iceman is here, it has been an incredible evening, lots of laughs and cuddles and.... :D  Drag, best of luck on your presentation, you're like me, we both over-analize too much, but imagine if we didn't?  How boring that would be....

Cristy, feel better and make sure to hydrate yourself as best as you can.  I am hoping that you feel better soon!

BT~  GF, if I were you, I would lay down whenever I felt like it!  LOL  You can always try again tomorrow (to get into a routine), esp if you have a headache.  When you have the energy you will be doing exactly what you want to do.  If you feel crappy, make sure to pamper yourself.

No word on Queen, dammit, and I did some detective stuff last night, too, as best as I could.  I am beginning to lose hope here and I am very worried.  :(

Iceman is here, so I am off to be cuddled some more. 

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Good evening ladies:

Cristy, I understand he wouldn't have gotten any on the first date, but why don't you want to just go and see if you have a good time?  That alone would seem worth it to me.  Me thinks you're shy.

Cin, I don't know what to say about Queen.  I just hope she'll be checking back in soon.  Glad Iceman's over.  I know you were going through withdrawals. ;)

I really don't have anything new to report.  Just checking in to see what's going on with people.  It's getting late and I'll probably be going to bed soon (I hope).  Sometimes I get sidetracked doing something else.  I had a chocolate muffin tonight, so I'm sure my sugar's probably off.  I'll be checking it in a little while.  I've also got an e-mail in to my doctor about switching the Sustiva for something else.  Will keep everyone updated.  Have a good evening ladies-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Dragonette

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Hi Grrlz

Here I am after another sleepless night, tonight I'll take a tranquilizer. I rarely take them, b/c when I was in my late teens I reallly over abused them, I got to a point of taking 20-30 a day, mixed with other stuff - so now I take them like a couple times a year (and only 1 at a time, right). But this will be one of those times. Luckily my presentation is at 16.00; one time I did that & when I presented early next morning I was slurring my words like a drunk, but it was in a big symposium kind of thing with everyone else worried about their own performance, this time all eyes on me though... I know this is nothing at all, but a kind of phobia I have. I've done this before lots of times though. Damn i wish I could smoke. I was going to yesterday but my BF said, you know it would taste awful right, and then I recalled how horrible cigarettes are when you quit after a while, so that's not even an outlet... Fuckit.

Anyway, Cristy, yesterday I logged off realizing I forgot to ask about your date. I now see it's been postponed. They can't fire you over a stomach virus! Surely all other reasons aside you would have infected the clients with it, I can't beleive your employers will be so heartless, at least, I want not to beleive that.

Cindy, I am very concerned about Queen and I think maybe Peter Staley would have her contact details? Though I doubt he would give it to us. You stand a better chance than I do though... If you know her details send them over, maybe I can get her number somehow. I am thinking in 2-3 directions really, but I don't want to write them here. Then I hope she'll just reappear and say that she needed a break.

Betty, is school on break now? Haven't heard you mention it in a while.

Oh yeah, speaking of transmission, last week I saw my doc (CD4-350, VL unknown btw), and he said that he thinks that so much evidence is accumulating, that soon poz women who are on HAART and undetectable will not be using condoms with their partners at all. Seriously, the other week there was even an article in Yahoo about that: http://health.yahoo.com/news/healthday/antiretroviraldrugsmaypreventvaginaltransmissionofhiv.html

Isn't that amazing?! so I am not saying we can ditch the condoms, I haven't anyway, but I think we can definatly date neg guys without a worry, seriously. I have never heard - of course this is anecdotal right, but still - never ever heard of a poz woman on treatment infecting a man. That's why when me & the BF had the condom slip, they didn't want to give him PEP, the doc said the risk was just too low. In the comic book "Blue pills", which is a story about a neg guy falling in love with a poz woman, in Switzerland, true story about the author, he quotes the doctor as saying he has bigger chances of being hit by a white rhinoceros than being infected by the woman when their condom breaks. I didn't know this book untila  week ago but someone mentioned it so I googled it: "During a moment of lovemaking, Frederik's condom breaks, and the two spend a night awake, worrying about the consequences. They visit a reassuring doctor the next day who tells Frederik that given the "weak concentration" of HIV in Cati's blood, "you have as much chance of catching AIDS as you have of running into a white rhinoceros on your way out!" "

http://www.calendarlive.com/books/cl-bk-terzian20jan20,0,204486.story?track=rss

They don't tell us that, they they just terriffy us, but now finally there are messages coming from the media that don't clump women with men anymore insofar as transmission risk is concerned. I remeber how shocked I was when they doctors in Israel told me they have one heter couple in which the neg guy doesn't wear a condom b/c he is not scared. I couldn't understand how that happens, but now I see why they were so calm about it. It's like they know the truth but don't really try to get it out there, or what doctors privetly acknowledge (like my own doc last week), the big orgs and government agencies don't want to let the general public know, b/c they truth is too complex. Men probabaly would use even less condoms thatn they do now, I know a lot of guys are scared to death of catching HIV from women, ironically the way to keep women safe is get the men to be scared about their own ass. So we pay the price of stigmatization. That's how Im starting to see it.

OK I somehow wrote more than the usual dating stuff... I'd love to know what you ladies think of this.

Hope everyone is well. Its been a while since Camms & Wendy, Confused, Afraid & others have visited too.
Hugs,


« Last Edit: January 22, 2008, 05:54:29 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Ann

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Cindy, I am very concerned about Queen and I think maybe Peter Staley would have her contact details? Though I doubt he would give it to us.


The only contact detail we have for Queen is her email address and no, we couldn't divulge that information without her permission. However, I will send her an email myself, because I'm also concerned about her. I'll let you know if she responds, but I have a feeling something's happened to her internet connection. I seem to remember her saying that her roommate would post if she was in hospital, but I might be thinking of someone else.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline BT65

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Just a quick FYI, Cin called the two hospitals that are close to where Queen lives and she's not in either of them.  OK, now, good morning ladies. 

Drag, there is very little risk of a poz woman giving the virus to a man, especially if her viral load is low.  There's been some talk about it on here for some time.  In my last two relationships (with men) they wouldn't wear condoms.  And both subsequently tested negative.  Again & again.  So, like you said, we probably need to worry more about what we could catch from them. 

Anyway, school is in session.  This eight weeks I'm taking Social Psychology and Ethics.  My social psych class has not met yet, because the teacher hasn't been available.  The whole thing is just really bizarre.  So yesterday, we (all her students) get an e-mail saying that she is not going to be able to teach the class and that the dean is going to replace her.  So, there's been two weeks of not having any class, and now she's going to be replaced.  There's a scheduling conflict.  It's all very frustrating.  We've already done two assignments for that class; I hope we get credit for them.  The ethics class is a really good one.  It's a philosophy class, and I like philosophy classes.  Probably because there's really no cut-and-dried answer to those.  One just has to argue a really good point.  Thursday we'll be having an exam that I still have to study for.  It's taking me awhile to get back into the swing of these classes; having three weeks off was really nice, but it always takes me awhile to get settled back in.

Other than that, really nothing new to report.  Hoping Queen is doing alright.  Maybe like Ann said, she is having trouble with her internet connection.  I hope that's all it is.  Have a good one ladies.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Ann

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Oh yeah, speaking of transmission, last week I saw my doc (CD4-350, VL unknown btw), and he said that he thinks that so much evidence is accumulating, that soon poz women who are on HAART and undetectable will not be using condoms with their partners at all.


You may find the following thread interesting:

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17932.0

Personally, my take on a positive, undetectable woman transmitting the virus to a negative man through vaginal intercourse is that it would be near as damn-it to impossible as you could get. I would still advocate condom use during the monthlies though.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline cjc

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Betty, you are a sweetheart. Yes, I am a bit shy.  I never got into the dating scene much and now it has gotten worse but I'm going, I'm going. I talked to him last night and it's on for Saturday night.         Sorry to hear about your teacher being replaced. Maybe the Dean will do a better job anyway. I know you will do great in all your classes.                                                                   Dragonette, You will do great on your presentation. If you are worried about being groggy, just take half of one and maybe that will take the edge off enough so you can sleep.                                                            Ml, glad Iceman came over. Hopefully the reason we haven't heard from Queen is because her internet service is down. Or she might just be taking a break. It has been several days , right. Maybe she will check in soon.      Hope everyone is okay and staying warm. We are supposed to get freezing rain but it  hasn't happened yet.       Cristy

Offline Ann

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Queen hasn't been around for seven days now.  :-\

I've sent her an email and I'll let everyone know as soon as I hear back from her... and here's hoping I do!

Ann
« Last Edit: January 22, 2008, 08:45:35 AM by Ann »
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline wishful

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Hey Gf's..How is everyone....Ive missed guys..eventho noone has asked about me  :-\..But anyway..my kids were sick last week so i wasnt at work..they are fine now

But for the record..yes i was getting LAID..lol so there

i Dunno where ur higness is, i have her address but no fone number...her internet may just be out right now

Ok girls...QUESTION..im thinking about getting my tubal reversed...only if me n yungin get married..but only for 1 kid and them tie them back up..what do yall think?
Live life to the fullest...

Offline BT65

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OK, for the record-Cindy (Moonlight) has sent Michelle (Queen) a few text messages and has heard nothing back.  So, Ann, I hope you can reach her.  I think you might be right about her internet service though; maybe it's out right now.  Strange she wouldn't go get on another computer somewhere and log in just to let everyone know she's alright. 

Cristy, I'm so glad you're going to go out with that guy!  Now I can't wait to hear about everything that happens (yes, we need details missy). ;)

Wishful, I had my tubes tied back in '90.  I don't know anything about getting it reversed.  How much will it cost you?  I don't think insurance covers it.  Can you afford another child?  Those would be my two questions: 1)Can you afford to have another child and raise it; & 2)how much does the sugery cost to reverse it?  If it's all good, then, hey, do it.  Right before I had my tubal reversed, I found out I was pregnant.  Back in those days, they didn't have the knowledge about HIV & pregnancy that they do now, so I had an abortion.  I just couldn't think about having an AIDS baby.  But, they know so much more now about how to keep the baby negative etc.  I think it's a very personal choice and there's really no right or wrong-there's a grey area there.  Just my opinion.  Glad you have found the guy for you though.  You go girl!

OK, gonna check a couple other threads, take a shower and study.  My heart & head just aren't in school right now.  I feel like I need another three weeks off.  :D
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline wishful

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Yeah Thanks Betty..Honestly i dont want anymore children. I am happy with the 3 crazies i have already. If i decide to do it it will only be for him. He has 1 son..We shall see..besides itsa lil premature since i havent even been proposed to YET,, ;)

Im not sure about insurance but if he wants it he will pay for it.. and NO as a single mom i cant afford another one but if i were married then it would be different..He makes plenty and ill make him sign a contract that he will take custody of his child if we were to divorce..
Live life to the fullest...

Offline srmn98

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Hey Everybody,

Dragonette-- I posted this over in the other thread where you posted the link to that article, but thought I'd post here too !!  The link Ann sent was a good one for this discussion, but just briefly:


I read the article you posted. While I am optimistic about female to male transmission risks -- I think this article is more geared towards protecting women from becoming HIV positive.

Take a look at this link:

http://www.biologynews.net/archives/2008/01/15/existing_antiretroviral_drugs_may_thwart_vaginal_hiv_transmission_researchers_report.html

It references the same study, but goes on to say:

"“There are 33 million people infected with HIV. This study is a highly significant breakthrough because it offers proof-of-principle that pre-exposure prophylaxis with currently available anti-retroviral drugs can potentially prevent vaginal HIV transmission, empowering women throughout the world to protect themselves from this deadly disease,” Dr. Garcia said.

“More women are being infected by HIV now than at any other time during the history of the AIDS epidemic,” Dr. Garcia said. “Over 15 million women worldwide are infected. Our findings should provide further impetus to continue clinical trials using oral anti-retroviral drugs as a preventive measure, particularly in areas with the highest rates of HIV infection.”
"

I think what they are saying as that women might one day have the ability to protect themselves from an HIV infection by treating themselves with anti-viral medications before and after a possible exposure --  so if their partner refuses condoms they can take some control.

That being said, I am hopeful that one day we will find that women with undetectable viral loads are not able to transmit HIV -- but we are not there today. The model that my doctor and a researcher I have spoken with for looking at female transmission of HIV is the model of an HIV Positive woman delivering a baby. The researcher I spoke with told me that as they become more confident that women with undetectable viral loads do not transmit HIV to their babies during delivery, they also become more confident that HIV is less likely to be transmitted sexually when undetectable. 

For me personally, I know I could not live with the outcome if my boyfriend became HIV positive. So for me, it's just not an option unless more research is done.

Best to all of you -- and Dragonette, thanks for the article -- very interesting !!

And I hope that Queen is doing OK -- I was wondering if maybe her internet connection was down --

:)

Sara


Offline BT65

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Yes, Sara, Ann already said up above that maybe the case. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline wishful

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Have any of you heard of any reported cases of an u/d poz female infecting a negative male?
Live life to the fullest...

Offline Winiroo

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Im not sure about insurance but if he wants it he will pay for it.. and NO as a single mom i cant afford another one but if i were married then it would be different..He makes plenty and ill make him sign a contract that he will take custody of his child if we were to divorce..

You could do that?

Offline wishful

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i dont see why not as long as he agrees to it..have it notarized and if he gave me any problems take it to court..
Live life to the fullest...

Offline Winiroo

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LOL I know it could be legally done for sure.
I meant the emotion involved in bringing a baby into the world, loving, nurturing and raising it, then when and if your relationship doesn't work out giving that child away to a person you most likely do not like anymore.

Offline srmn98

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Yes, Sara, Ann already said up above that maybe the case. 

Betty -- where  ?  I think my post was quite different. And I referenced Ann's post --  so I don't think it was repetitive ??

Offline sunseeker

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Hi Ladies

I AM REALLY STARTING TO GET WORRIED ABOUT QUEEN.  SHE BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE LIKE A KNIGHT AND SHINING ARMOR CAME AND SHOWERED HER WITH ROSE PEDALS AND TOOK HER TO A BEAUTIFUL TROPICAL ISLAND AND IS SLITHERING ALL OVER HER WITH HOT MASSAGE OIL.  Oh wait I think this is my fantasy.  But i think you get my point.

Well, this week has been crazy.  Cleaning out my second bedroom to make room for my new roommate.  Yesterday went and saw 27 dresses and had dinner with the Latin Lover.  After seeing the movie I was very depressed.  Made me wonder if I will ever find love and get married.  I don't want to be walking down the aisle at 80 years old.  I think that I got really emotional because I got in a fight with my sister the day before.  A friend of mine who lives down south who I met on this site said he had a friend that he wanted me to meet.  He is + and also in the same line of work as me and lives 20 minutes from me.  I told my sister this and she went home and told her boyfriend of 7 years.  I did not mind that she told him that, the part that I minded was that my sister felt the need to call and tell me how her boyfriend knows this person and over his dead body should I go out with this guy.  I asked why and he said because he use to hang out with him 7-8 years ago and one night when they were out this guy left my sisters boyfriend at club and my sisters boyfriend had to find a ride home.   She further went on to say that this guy also got involved in my sisters boyfriend relationship at the time he was with this other girl.  She went on to say that her boyfriend is a very good judge of character and this guy is trouble and he had a bad feeling about my last two boyfriends and she really trusts his opinion.  But then she saved the best for last, she told my that I would not be able to see my niece and nephew if this guy was around because they don't trust him.  So I called this guy and asked him if he knew my sisters boyfriend and he said yeah, that he was a nice guy.  He then proceeded to tell me that he felt bad that he kind of got involved with my sisters boyfriend and his relationship at the time.  He said that the girlfriend kept asking him if my sisters boyfriend was cheating on her and he felt like he was  caught in the middle.  So I was really pissed at my sister.  I have not even met this guy yet, and what my sister does not understand is that was 7 years ago, people change, especially after becoming +.  If my sisters boyfriend is such a good judge of character maybe he could use it to get a job and support his two kids, since he has not had one in 5 years.  Well, I have a date with this guy on Monday and not sure how things are going to go for a number reasons.  On the few times that I have talked with him he seems a little immature, but it could be that he was really nervous since he has not dated anyone in two years since finding out his status.  My other issue is that mostly everyone at his work knows he is + since he thinks that he got it while at work and I know alot of these people so is my " dirty little secret" going to come out?

On another note, I started freaking out last night after reading some of the other forums and I read that someone had posted that they had become resistance to his/her meds.  So due to being stressed out I freaked out and went and got my blood drawn today.  I think that I am turning into a worry wort.

Offline Ann

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Have any of you heard of any reported cases of an u/d poz female infecting a negative male?

Never
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Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline sunseeker

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Hey Girls

Came across this in an email, not sure if its accurate, but its interesting.  Click on all of the tabs and see how HIV increases by the hour/minute/second.

http://www.chippynews.com/worldclock.htm


Offline BT65

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Good evening ladies:

Sara, what I should have clarified is that Ann said something about Queen's internet connection in her earlier post.  I guess I wasn't really making myself clear.

Sun, I don't know what to say about the guy you're going to go out with.  Is he a cop?  And he claims to have gotten the virus from his work?  Hmmmm, I don't know that I necessarily trust that.  Maybe I'm reading too much into it.  As far as your sister's boyfriend, it's really easy for someone who's sitting on his ass every day to dictate what the rest of the world should be doing. (And I'm saying that because you mentioned him not having a job).  I would be worried about having my kids around him. What does he do all day?   I don't know how long you have been infected, but if it's recent, your behavior is really quite normal and typical.  I remember when I tested poz I used to worry quite a bit.  Of course, that was '89 and people actually were dropping over dead.  Not all the new meds and information they have now.  I would try to get information about things if I were you.  And go to a support group.  That may help. 

OK ladies, I'm just in from school.  I'm going to check a few threads and return a couple calls.  Have a good one-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline camille07

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Hey Girls-

I've been reading the posts but not posting very much lately.  I'm getting concerned about Queenie!

Offline BT65

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Yes, we're all very concerned about Queen.  I hope she checks in soon.  BTW, good to hear from you Camms.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline srmn98

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Hey Betty --  oops, sorry !!  Thought you were talking about the bulk of my post and I got confused ... thanks for clarifying !

Sara

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Hi GFs~

Where in the F*** is Queen?  Just to let you all know, I have her old address and know she only moved up the street or somewhere close when she got the new place with her roomie, so she's most def in the same town.  Also, I know her last name, I have her Yahoo Messenger ID, her personal email address AND her cell number.

I have used this info to check on her and don't know what else to do.  I am calling her directly right now, which I have never done because oh her hearing loss.......

Shit.  The cell phone rang about eight times and then went to a busy signal.  No voice mail, no nothing.  Why in the hell would she have both services cut off at once?  Actually, it does make me feel a little better that her cell seems to be "cut-off."  Maybe there WAS a snafu with a bill, and maybe the internet connection is through the same service as her cell?  Is that even possible?

I had my nerv test done today, it was funny.  When they zapped my right foot, my left leg kicked out, like when the doc taps your knee to check your reflexes.  When they zapped my left foot, both of my arms raised up at my sides, like I was a bird flapping my wings.  At least everything is still connected.  LOL  I'll have more definitive results soon, after the doc reviews the test.

I am going to the Health Dept tomorrow to see a nutritionist again.  I know A LOT about diet, being a diabetic, but I have been struggling with fatigue.  I just feel that I need a refresher course on nutrition.

Also, when I spoke with my Case Mgr today I asked about seeing the Health Dept docs for my HIV, and they are affiliated with Johns Hopkins.  Other people in my support group see them and they say the docs take 45 minutes with you!  Yay!  My current doctor isn't giving me the comprehensive treatment that I feel I need, with all that I have going on.  Whenever something happens to me, I wonder if its HIV, diabetes, fibromyalgia, stress, diet......I need someone who will look at the entire picture, cause I'm not getting any younger.  My Case Mgr said that I would have a $500 deductible to satisfy on my plan because the Health Dept is out-of-network. 

I have a PPO so I don't understand, but I will find out more tomorrow.

Cam, good to see you.  Sun, thanks for the link to the time thing, looks like everyone is getting married, lol. Cristy best of luck on your upcoming date, same goes for you, Sun.  Just keep your guard up and protect yourself.  I have to agree with BT, if the guy sitting home on his ass had those things to say, what good is he if he hasn't had a job in five years?  Some things about a person give you much insight into all areas of their life.  Be your own judge.

BT, hows the Chantix?  You're on it right?  Camel Lights are $7.50 a pack here in some places while most other cigs are right around $5.00!  Can you believe it?  Good luck in class on Thursday.

I am going to go eat.  I have to get to bed early, be AT WORK at 6am in order to get my 8 hours in before going to the nutritionist.  Or, I could go in at my regular time but not get paid for a full day.  I will try to get up at the crack of the crack.

Stay safe and warm.  Yes, I feel a little better about Queen, since her cell seems to be kaput as well.

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: January 23, 2008, 10:03:10 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Good evening ladies:

Cin, thanks for checking on Queen.  If you haven't posted yet in the MIA link in off topic, I'll report that you tried to get ahold of her and couldn't and about her phone. Thanks for doing that.  You know, I am making an appointment tomorrow to see the diabetes educator here.   She knows quite a bit about nutrition, and I need a refresher course as well.  I hope everything works out for you seeing those new doctors.  Having a good doctor that you feel confident in is so important.  Also, I'm glad to hear your body is still functioning as one unit. :D  Please let us know how those tests come out.  Yes, I'm still on the Chantix.  Here in northcentral Hoosierville, they're getting ready to zap a $2/pack tax on smokes, which will raise them up to $7/pack here.  Wow.  Glad I quit when I did.

OK ladies, I'm off to check out some more threads.  I have that exam tomorrow in Ethics, so wish me luck.  Have a good one-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Hi everyone! Just checking in. It is totally raining here and will the rest of the week.... :'( i guess no one has heard from Queen yet.

Cindy, maybe you could mail a letter to her old address and it might get forwarded to the new one. At least then if all her communication has been cut she might be able to respond to "snail mail". Just an idea

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Good idea, Viv, but I think I tossed her old address.  I used to have it on a piece of paper here by the computer.  I even looked her up on superpages.com in case the new house phone was in her name, but no-go.  :(

Crappity-crap.

BT, I copied and pasted some of the same info above in the "Has anyone heard from Queen?"  thread, in order to *bump* it, but please update the MIA thread if you haven't already.

You know she's probably smoking a doobie and playing Resident Evil since she has no cable, Internet or cell.  I am praying that I am right on that one.

Dammit, Queen.  Get on the bus and go to the library and sign in to these Forums!  LOL

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Dragonette

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Hi all

my presentation went great. I coouldnt sleep though and had to take another Loerzepam. don't worry I wont be taking anymore. i didnt sleep b/c of the issue with my bosses stealing my ideas and capitlaizing on them. it's an ongoing problem and I am sick of it.
Silly huh. I was angry at myself for taking another pill. i got up really late today too, It's almost 14.00 and haven't worked yet. I have a party tonight so I will have to leave before ths shops close and do my heair etc...

strange about Queen, I dont know what to think. after a couple days, I am sure she realizes people are worried about her. Its not like her not to log on. Of course, she is on the down low and maybe is uncomfortable logging on to aidsmeds froma friend's or a public library. i know i never dare to log on from an internet cafe... maybe that's why.

Cindy, I don't know how you can be so disciplined with food. I forgot to take my HAART yesterday, I missed a whole dose, I am really pissed with myself for it. If I had anything else on top, monitoring all these levels. That's like an extra job. You guys are so admirable.

Tendai - I know you posted on the other thread but I write here anyway cos I know you're reading. What's the rush girl? You're still young, it's not like you'll become infertile if you wait. It's so great that you guys are in love and wanting to have a baby, but I think it's a little premature... let alone considering the situation in Zimbabwe, but I am not even talking about now. There is a minimal level of security you need to reach... I am really really so happy for you, I can't tell you how much. And I want you to retain that happiness...

OK I guess I'd better spill the beans... me & my BF have started what he calls "operation fertilization", but only a few times this month. we didn't calculate the cycle or anything, we just did it whenever we had sex anyway. I know...who am I to talk about security right... I am dead nervous, and maybe b/c of that I think whoa what's the rush (because we do it after 1.5 years together and I still feel rushed; I want it so much, but I am equally scared). I should not take tranquilizers if I am pregnant, but I have no idea if I am or not. I think I shouldn't even take Paracetamol. But I did take 1 and 2 tranquilizers in the past week, from all the stress at work, and I hate myself for it. I will know next month if I am I guess. Though it could take years too... We are going to Israel in 2 weeks time, I will give him the "hollly land" tour. I am so excited about that, Israel is a huge mess but very interesting. Even for me...

Oh guess what, you'd never beleive, this Wed I run into my ex, the guy who dumped me for being poz, at the supermarket. I just said hi, he was leaving and I was entering. Then he send me at email to work today. He wants to talk. He said it was a "friendly email". Ugh. I don't hate him or anything, but he dumped me and humiliated me at the lowest time of my life. I am very glad he did, don't get me wrong. we were just supposed to move in together, it was one of these fast paced relatioships, and after 6 weeks he had gotten an apartment and we were scheduled to move in there when I got back from Christmas holidays at home. I got tested poz 3 days before my return flight. I still flew back a week later and he wouldn't talk to me, I was so alone, no friends, didn't dare showing up at work, no immune system, living in some shithole sleeping on the floor, walking everywhere is freezing cold, and he wouldn't say anything to me. Oh yeah he did show up a couple times to fool around with me and see how far he could go sexually before he became disgusted and run away. And I was too far gone to think of stopping it. I had no dignity, I was just this shocked shell of a person. 

Eugh, just recalling all this... and then, he wanted me to pay him 250 Euro b/c he wouldn't get tested at the hospital for fear of meeting people he knows, so he went to a private clinic! He did suffer a lot though, lost a lot of weight and stuff. He was like one of those worried wells. I kind of understand the fear and horror, but he just wouldn't get any information, no matter how many times the doctor spoke with him to tell him that he is 0 risk (cos we never didn't use a condom); no matter what info I sent him, he barricaded himself in ignorance and fear.

(shudder)

OK lovely ladies, hope you have a good day. I better get some work done... Love ya
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline wishful

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Wini.: No I am not positive i could do it but that is my first instinct...I really dont want anymore children and if i did that and it didnt work out , im not saying i wouldnt want or love my child but as a single mom i take the majority if not all of the resposibility of my 3 children already..i couldnt see it with 4 or 5...ill let him take that on..
Live life to the fullest...

Offline BT65

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Good morning ladies:

Cin, I know how hard it is to keep blood sugar under control.  I haven't been diabetic for as long as you have.  I've only had it for like the past 10 or 12 years.  But it's pretty bad.  I've been on Insulin from the start.  And it really wasn't until three years ago that I even started trying to eat right and drinking diet soda.  Before that, I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and drank regular soda.  So, don't feel alone about your blood sugar being so high.  Sometimes mine get that high, especially if I eat some sweets before going to bed.  It can be hard at times.  Thanks for doing all the checking on Queen.  I'm sure when she can she'll be back.  I just wish it was sooner rather than later.  

Drag, wow.  So you're trying to get pregnant, eh?  Here's wishing you good luck. :-*   I know you'll make a wonderful mommy.  As for that ex, don't even talk to him.  Excuse me, but fuck him.  If he treated me like that, I wouldn't even give him the time of day.  Seriously.  Put yourself first in this matter, please.  

We got a whole s*** load of snow again last night.  And the temp is only 10.  Yuck!  I really don't have anywhere to go until school tonight. The high today is only supposed to be 19.  I'm shivering sitting here just thinking about it.  Other than that, nothing new to report.  Have a good one ladies-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

 


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