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Author Topic: bj & kissing  (Read 3325 times)

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Offline wrdyar

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
bj & kissing
« on: January 09, 2008, 08:43:44 AM »
I know this has been covered many times, but here i go.
on Oct 5th i meet and old friend for lunch and the next thing
i know we are making out real heavy in my car. she bends down
and gives me about a 15 second bj before i came to my senses
and stopped her. 21 days later i had a 4th generation Elisa test
and a standard Std test it was negetive also
which was negative, I asked the friend and she stated that she
had a hiv test in Feb and everything was ok but i cant let it go.
I am scared to death. I actually had a nervous break down
Nov. 30th and was in the hospital for three days.
My doctor says i have nothing to worry about and to let it go,
but now i'm having pain in my armpits and groin
help me please....... what should i do????
i love my wife and kids with all my heart....and i don't
want to expose my wife to anything.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2008, 08:52:23 AM »
wr,

Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection. You tested hiv negative because you ARE hiv negative. You do not need further testing over this incident.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline wrdyar

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2008, 08:55:44 AM »
Thank you Ann so much.....i just needed to hear it from you

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 24,378
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2008, 08:58:33 AM »
You may have read it elsewhere in these pages but I will nevertheless say it again: in the entire history of the HIV epidemic there's never been a case of HIV transmission to a guy getting a blowjob. None. Zero. Kissing is NOT a risky for transmission.

Despite your awesome guilt about having had a straying incident you are not going to make history by becoming the first. You're a dawg like many of us and you strayed a bit. You can't undo that bit of your personal history. Guilt is a whole other matter to deal with. What you can do is take a breath, see it, let it go and get on with your life. That's the most loving thing you can do for all concerned.

Your fears have absolutely no basis in HIV science. Period. End of story.

Andy Velez

Offline wrdyar

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
ann help
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2008, 08:17:10 AM »
I know you guys answered this before but now i am scared.
as i said about three weeks ago i meet an old friend for lunch
and the next thing i know we are making out and she
gave me about a 15 second bj. I started having pains in the
groin shortly after that, i have had a 4th generation elisa test at 21
days after the bj...My doctor has said the pain in my groin
is a prostate problem. i took the medicine in dec. and now
the pain is back....i know it may be irational but i still have
this fear that i may have hiv. i go to the cdc website
and they say i may be at risk....i'm so scared

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2008, 08:23:19 AM »
wrd,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

As you have already been told, you did not have a risk for hiv infection.

If you're having prostate problems again, go see your doctor. It's nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline wrdyar

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2008, 08:26:30 AM »
thank you ann......i know i need to get over this
and deal with my other issues....as you can see
i have ocb

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2008, 08:33:12 AM »
Wrd,

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is a psychiatric condition and can only be treated by a psychiatrist. You should ask your doctor for an appropriate referral.

Please understand that we are an HIV specific website and we cannot help you with your problems. Your problems have nothing to do with HIV.

MtD

Offline wrdyar

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2008, 02:26:27 PM »
i wonder why thr cdc puts all this junk on their web-site about being at risk if there hasn't been a documented case????
are they trying to scare us or what?

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,378
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2008, 05:19:09 PM »
I am not going to get into interpretations of why the CDC puts that stuff out. I can only tell you that what you read here is the real skinny and is well grounded in HIV science and experience.
Andy Velez

Offline wrdyar

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #10 on: January 31, 2008, 08:24:45 AM »
I just read the risk factors on the cdc web site.....if you read carefully they mention that a few cases have been reported that the receptive partner was infected. It then states that the insertive partner is only at risk in theory.....I think they need to clarify that better.
You guys do a great job. thank you for all you do....You have helped me so much

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #11 on: January 31, 2008, 09:03:41 AM »
wrd,

"Reported" means that is how the patient claims to have been infected. The word you want to look for is "documented". Documented means that it has been PROVEN to be the mode of transmission. People can report whatever they like, it doesn't always make it so. Patient report is notoriously unreliable.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline wrdyar

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #12 on: February 01, 2008, 06:35:39 PM »
What is going on .....now i am really scared
i read in "i just tested positive" from milker
that poz put the risk of insertive oral sex @
1/1250.......oh my god now i am really scared
what is the straight scoop is it possible or not

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #13 on: February 01, 2008, 06:41:07 PM »
Well that's what you get for snooping around in the poz only forums.

The number that you read is meaningless. It's bandied about from time to time, but "studies" which report such numbers regarding risks have long since been disregarded and are hopelessly flawed.

The only thing you need to know is that you were not at risk. You don't have HIV.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,378
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #14 on: February 01, 2008, 09:58:05 PM »
You need to stop what Matty has called "snooping." Believe me, if you continue looking for quasi-information to feed your worst fears you are going to find plent of it on the web. None of it grounded in solid HIV-science of course, but there's lot of it around.

We're not here to indulge you indefinitely in your hysteria about this issue. You are HIV negative and there's no sound reason to believe otherwise.

We can't do anything more for you here. you're also on the verge of getting a time out here for coming back repeatedly with more what ifs.

 
Andy Velez

Offline wrdyar

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #15 on: February 04, 2008, 09:04:18 AM »
Sorry Andy.....I'll stop my what ifs

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,378
Re: bj & kissing
« Reply #16 on: February 04, 2008, 12:14:19 PM »
Good. Get on with your life. Enjoy!
Andy Velez

 


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