HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?


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Hi All,

I would like to start off by saying that I am not one of your typical Worried Wells. I do a lot of reading on the HIV/AIDS transmission subject matter and would consider myself very knowledgeable, because I am pursuing a career as an Infectious Diseases nurse.

With that said I a “bottom” who follows strict rules in my sex life. I do give head, but with no ejaculation. I do require the top to wear a condom, and to further my safety, I ask that he not ejaculate in the condom, just for additional safety measures.

Now, there is a lot of “fluff” out on the Internet that I need clarification on. So far, I have done a good job at staying negative and wish to remain that way. However, the more I read the more of a frenzy I put myself in.

Some websites say that a sufficient quantity needs to be deposited into a man’s rectum (e.g., semen) to cause infection. Other websites say pre-cum is considered infectious and should be avoided at all cost. Well-respected HIV websites will say receptive anal sex with no ejaculation is low risk. I have also read that with the exception of receptive anal sex with ejaculation or IV drug use, HIV is still relatively difficult to transmit.

For me, I can’t seem to get a straight answer.

1. What is the general rule for pre-cum? Is it far less infectious than semen? Also, I like when guys rub their dick on my asshole – I have been told this is minimal risk.
2. In order for infectious fluid to get into another person’s blood stream, would there need to be a huge gaping hole flowing with blood to be considered an effective route to cause infection?


Andy Velez:
Pre-cum can contain HIV virus. So rather than trying to quantify the risk level if it's intercourse you're talking about the insertive partner needs to be wearing a condom. Period.

If it's giving oral that you're asking about, there's much more evidence that supports it being very low level to no risk. Saliva has elements in it which effectively de-stabilize HIV. Although from time to time there are reports of transmission orally, several longterm studies of sero-discordant couples strongly support the no-risk position as far as giving oral. From my point of view this is something each person has to decide about in terms of what level of risk they are willing to live with.

Rubbing without insertion is NOT considered a risk. Of course if for instance your anus is very sore and bleeding say from some other condition then common sense would tell you having a pre-cum dripping or ejaculating penis rubbing against it would not be wise. 

The kind of question your posing about "a gaping hole" is one of those theoretical situations to which I can't respond because it's not clear to me what you have in mind.


Thank you for your reply. I guess what I meant by "gaping hole" is that people - including me - often dream up WHAT IF scenarios. If a guy is rubbing his dick on your ass...WHAT IF precum got into a small cut or a pimple or what have order for HIV transmission to occur, I would imagine the scratch, sore, etc. would need to be profusely bleeding.

Also, once pre-cum is exposed to air at the tip of the penis or if it is rubbed onto one's anus, would air quickly begin to tear down the virus' elements?

Thank you.

It wouldn't be a risk.

Andy Velez:
What ifs are not a good place to hang around in.

You're presumably a man of legal age. Anytime you have sex with someone else and other than with your own hand there is potentially some risk of STDs. That's just a fact of life. So what you have to do is play it the safer way. As far as HIV is concerned if you consistently use condoms for intercourse you are pretty much covered literally and figuratevely.

I don't see you as likely to be having a thorough once over with a mirror immediately prior to sex to check for pimples and other such, (none of which are risky anyway). As for a profusely bleeding open wound, unless you're into "special stuff," is that really a circumstance under which you're going to be having sex? And if you are it still isn't putting you at risk unless the guy is ejaculating directly into such a what if wound. Like I said, don't hang around in these what ifs.

Get real, use condoms, get on with your life and have a good New Year.


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