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Author Topic: HIV and Domestic Violence  (Read 4984 times)

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Offline Carolann

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  • Posts: 233
HIV and Domestic Violence
« on: December 30, 2007, 06:45:11 PM »
Currently I am at a loss as what to do with a situation involving one of my closest friends.  My friend Blake (not his real name) is in an extremely dire situation.  His CD4 count is in the 250 range and he is currently on meds.  He recently became involved with another HIV positive person named Derrick (also not his real name).  Derrick and Blake met when Derrick was on vacation from Florida.  They immediately became very serious and Derrick sold his stuff and moved in wih Blake.  Within one week, Derrick started hitting Blake and is verbally and emotionally abusive.  Two weeks ago Derrick threatened to harm Blakes beloved dog, and the next day the dog's head was bashed in.  Derrick claims that the dog was hit by the car, but has stated in rages that he will do the same to Blake.  Derrick breaks into Blake's cell phone records, scans his computer records, and constantly accuses Blake of cheating.

One recent incident the neighbors called the police, but there were no marks or bruises on Blake.  They let Derrick remain.  Blake reneges on his assertions that he needs to get out of this situation. I am at a complete loss and no longer know how to help.

Any thoughts???

Offline Dachshund

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2007, 06:57:59 PM »
You-oops I mean Blake-should terminate the relationship. Sounds like Blake and Derrick really didn't get to know each other before rushing into a relationship. Can't wait to hear Derrick's version. I feel sorry for the dog.

Offline anniebc

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2007, 07:02:29 PM »
Hi Carol

I know how hard this must be for you,but  Blake needs to get Derrick out of there NOW..this can only lead to disaster, but if Blake refuses to tell him to leave then I'm afraid there is little you can do about it..no-one should suffer at the hands of a man like that.

I wish I had more advise to give you but until Blake takes matters into his own hands and tells Derrick to leave there is nothing we can do to help him.

Hugs
Jan >:(
« Last Edit: December 30, 2007, 07:04:45 PM by anniebc »
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Carolann

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2007, 07:13:13 PM »
The violence seems to be escalating.  Derrick has managed to isolate Blake completely.  His family is scared of this freak.  Last week Derrick beat Blake up, took his phone, keys and wallet, so that Blake had to barracade himself in the apartment all night.  Blake escaped to my house for a few days but then went back to Derrick, fearing for his life.  I think that Blake has Stockholm Syndrome.  This occurs when a person held hostage (or the victim of an abusive relationship) begins to identify with the captor or abuser in order to survive.  Since Derrick moved in Blake's CD4 count has dropped 100 points and he is now having additional medical complications.  I think that if Derrick remains in Blake's life, he won't be around in another year. 

The poor dog's head was brutally smashed in.  The vet said that the death seemed to be suspicious.  I even contacted an animal rights attorney to push for criminal prosecution, but Blake is against this.  The thing is that people who kill people often start by killing animals.  Derrick admitted to me that he killed the dog, and said he would do the same to Blake.  The thing is that Blake will not cooperate, and I don't want to attend his funeral. 

I have never been so at a loss at how to deal with a situation.  If I pursue legal venues, Blake's life may be in more danger, but if I don't his life may also be in danger.  If he does something to Blake, I have friends in the D.A.'s office and will make it my personal mission to see that Derrick spends the rest of his life in prison.

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2007, 08:12:13 PM »
Dear Carol,

I was Blake once... almost immediately after getting out of the hospital with PCP.  For the first year after my AIDS diagnosis, my trips to the ER from the abuse outnumbered my trips to the ID doc.  I told no one and had excuses like having fallen on the slopes at Big Bear, been so clumsy, I fell down the stairs etc., etc.

One morning, Carol, (not his real name) came to my house to ask if I would go downtown with him for a drink.  On the way to the bar Carol claimed to know I was being abused because it was impossible to get from Los Angeles to Big Bear in less than 3 hours and hit a tree on the slopes.  Carol said, he had been there too and wanted me to go to the D.A.'s office and file a restraining order... We did, I did.  Derek or Dumbshit or what ever his real name was became so hard to find the Process Server could not serve the papers.  After the third trip to the court, the Judge suggested I always carry my papers with me and if he shows up within the distance of a football field to call the police.

Dumbshit did begin showing up again, living in his car about three blocks away and finally all the neighbors started filing complaints about the drifter living at Bixby Park, in an old car.  Finally he was gone.

Carol died later that year and his "widow" started showing up at my door.  By this time, I had learned an Ocean Drive house looks pretty good to a loser especially if it is occupied by someone with AIDS.  Three years down the road, I was served with papers because Dumbshit was using my name and not paying his bills.  I had to pay $300.00 for a sink, which was charged in Orange County.

Dumbshit left documents at my house and we all get our chance to get even.  I faxed his resume, references and every business doc to the IRS collection Department because he never filed taxes in his life.  I filed complaints to the City over this person doing business without a license, the Contractors Review Board with specific job dates, sites and charges because he was not a licensed contractor.

We take our punches Carol, then we get even.  What I learned from all of this is the TRASH goes out on Friday and is never brought into the house no matter what our diagnosis is. Have the best day
Michael
(who also had his car repossessed)
« Last Edit: December 30, 2007, 08:44:51 PM by Sonomabeach »

Offline anniebc

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2007, 08:45:21 PM »
I think until we have heard both sides of this story there is not much we can do about it..so before we condemn the other person involved can just wait and see what happens...if of course anything does happen.

This is a difficult situation and it's all too easy to take the side of the one who posts without hearing from the other side first...just my thoughts.

hugs
Jan
« Last Edit: December 30, 2007, 08:48:38 PM by anniebc »
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline pozguy75

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2007, 10:16:29 PM »
Regardless of fault, violence has no place in any relationship. My thoughts on this, is, if Blake wants to take control, and if Derrick is living in Blake's apartment, and if Derrick is not on Blake's lease...or mortgage, he can have the sheriff evict Derrick from the premises and Blake can then file for a restraining order.

But that is Blake's decision to make, and unfortunately know one but him can take that action.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Blake.
Dx 2005
ATRIPLA

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2007, 10:23:08 PM »
Matty the Damned has little time for the domestic violence thing.

As far as I'm concerned, Derrick hits Blake because Blake lets him.

Happy 2008 kids.

MtD

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2007, 11:36:21 PM »
Wow, this takes me back since I was once a victim of abuse not just once but a few times. Not just physical but mental abuse as well. And this was all before I became poz. I am a little buzzed at the moment so I will not go by the names you provided but you will understand what I am saying I think.

For one, I am sorry that you are a witness to this , CarolAnn. You are in a tough situation because really there is nothing you can do about it. The person being abused has to get to the point that they are tired of it, sad but true. You must also realize that some never get to that point or don't make it to that point. It sounds to me that your friend hasn't gotten to that point. Now as far as law enforcement, it depends on where you are really. Some don't tolerate it and others want you to have a busted jaw before they will step in. It sucks but it is true. Here, they want the latter to happen.

You can continue to try to be a friend to this person but I also advise you to be careful. If the abuser is isolating your friend then you may come across as a threat and he may confront you. If your friend has called the police on the past on the abuser then there is a record of it. If you friend decides to stand up to his abuser and whip his ass then it will work to his benefit, I think. If the abuser hurts or kills your friend then it will hang him. Is there a lawyer in the house? I hope I have been able to help....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline mjmel

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  • Posts: 2,069
Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2007, 07:12:20 AM »
"Blake" will not cooperate? Clearly, it his choice and ill-fated as it is to our sensibilities, he is keeping himself in harms way. He apparently has had some offers of intervention from outside contacts/friends. I feel badly for those caught up in this kind of delimma but "Blake" is the one who is clearly protecting the asswipe-offender.

The poor dog must not have been 'beloved' much.

Mike M
 

Offline BT65

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2007, 08:05:17 AM »
Carol, there is always a way out.  "Blake" could leave Derrick, just get out of there and go to a shelter or something.  Even if the apartment or house or whatever is in his name, the fiirst priority is life.  There's nothing you can do about it until Blake is ready to do something about it.  Nothing.  I really feel bad for the dog.  What an asshole. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Carolann

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  • Posts: 233
Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2007, 12:51:22 PM »
Here is where some of the difficulties rest:

Because Derrick is receiving mail at Blake's apartment, he can use that as proof that the apartment is his residence, even without being on the lease.  The only way Blake will be able to get out of this situation is to
a) move out and get his name off the lease or
b) get a restraining order and call the police.

The other problem is that unless there are evidentiary marks or other physical evidence of abuse, it is one person's word against the word of another, and the police cannot make an arrest without probable cause, which requires physical evidence.

I understand that many people feel that Blake is somehow "allowing" Derrick to abuse him, but Blake right now seems to be suffering from dimentia.  He nearly died 18 months ago, and HIV has taken his toll not only on his physical strength, but also on his mental ability as well.  It is easy to say that he is responsible for being in this situation, but he is in a very weakened condition.  I think anybody who has been in such a state would have some degree of sympathy for another in this type of condition.

It really is a complicated matter, and I know what steps I can take to get him out in theory, but we all know that over 50 percent of homicides are committed by a significant other or family member of the victim, often when the person is trying to escape the situation.  I don't want to do anything that is going to get my friend killed.  And believe me, Derrick is one of the most violent people I have ever met.  I spoke with the vet and the dog's head was smashed in.  This guy is not your run of the mill asshole boyfriend.

Thank you everyone for the comments.  I am reaching out to Blake and I have secured a few safe apartments where he can stay.  He seems unable to make a move out of fear.  I hope things work out.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2007, 01:11:41 PM »
Yeah, the rules for law enforcement to intervene really sucks. From your post, are you saying that Blake does want to leave Derrick? And does Derrick ever leave the house? Since this sounds so serious and police are doing nothing, what is your game plan? If Blake does indeed want to leave and you have found a safe place for him then why not start moving some of Blake's things out? I mean nothing obvious that would tip Derrick off but necessary things or else buy some things. And do you have contact with Blake's landlord? Why not make the landlord aware of the situation, maybe he will allow Blake to break the lease and give Derrick the boot. And if Derrick is given the boot and Blake is gone, I am sure his first priority will be finding somewhere for himself to live. Though he will be pissed and may come for you.

As for the restraining order, if Blake can get out of the house, why not get it done. Get a report from the vet to take for the PFA. I am just throwing things out there, Carol. If Blake truly wants to leave and the situation is dangerous as you say then you guys need to put things into action without tipping Derrick off. I really am wishing you and Blake both luck in this situation. Not trying to be funny but if it was me, I'd be boiling some hot water and making some grits. Wait for Derrick's ass to go to sleep then pour that shit on him. I'd have to deal with the police later. But that is just me.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dachshund

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  • Posts: 5,941
Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2007, 01:13:48 PM »
I think it's more like over 90% of homicides are committed by someone that deceased knew. They should be able to track Derrick down fairly easily when he murders Blake. I guess doing nothing will keep Blake alive. Course that didn't help the dog any.

This Derrick dude sounds like O.J. and Andrew Cunanan all rolled into one. Oh well, what are you gonna do? Sounds like Blake can't live with him and he definitely ain't gonna live without him.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2007, 02:07:28 PM by Dachshund »

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2007, 01:19:33 PM »
Or Blake can pull a Tina and whip Derrick's ass with a boot......R.I.P. Ike Turner....Ugh, I'm gonna burn for that one. ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dachshund

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #15 on: December 31, 2007, 01:22:59 PM »
Or Blake can pull a Tina and whip Derrick's ass with a boot......R.I.P. Ike Turner....Ugh, I'm gonna burn for that one. ;D

I hear you girl. Blake would not last long in the hood. Any play Aunty worth her weight would push his ass over the balcony. Homicidal homo's are no match for an angry colored girl. ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 2007, 01:24:43 PM by Dachshund »

Offline ademas

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #16 on: December 31, 2007, 01:29:05 PM »

This Derrick dude sounds like O.J. and Andrew Cunanan all rolled into one. Oh well, what are you gonna do?

Indeed.

In fact, I might offer advice and options once, and then steer clear.

Even law enforcement hates responding to domestic violence calls--they're just so volatile, and you never know when the perpetrator or the victim will turn on the party who arrives to help.

Offline Carolann

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #17 on: December 31, 2007, 03:01:11 PM »
In most cases, friends of those abused get to a point of frustration and pretty much give up.  This situation is different from the ones I have dealt with before in that this person seems way over the top.  This person actually planned on killing the dog, because he threatened to do it before it happened.  Someone who could kill a harmless animal seems more dangerous than the average abusive partner.

The other thing is that my friend is extremely weakened both physically and psychologically.  Advanced HIV disease, dimentia, and rapidly declining CD4 counts don't exactly help him take a stand and remove a much larger, healthier, stronger psychotic individual, and law enforecement doesn't take action often until it is too late.  Also, law enforcement is highly homophobic and HIV phobic.  Two gay men with AIDS is police often have littly sympathy for.  Even HIV positive people (gay and hetero alike) are often less than sympathetic.

In theory it should be easy for him to get out, in reality it is proving much more difficult.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #18 on: December 31, 2007, 03:19:02 PM »
Hopefully Blake's dementia will help him cope with this unbelievable situation by completely ignoring it.

Offline thunter34

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #19 on: December 31, 2007, 03:25:56 PM »
If I was in this situation and someone threatened me with abuse and killed my dog,  I'd probably draw on my southern and christian roots for my response.  I might consider making a peace gesture with a traditional southern meal of eggs and poke salad.

Of course, I'm not that much of a cook.

Gosh, it would be just awful if I didn't remember to boil the pokeberry properly.

Just awful.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #20 on: December 31, 2007, 04:32:23 PM »
All kidding aside...

There are few things more frightening and repugnant than sinister people you encounter who hide their true selves when you meet them.

Isn't that right, Carolann?

This whole thing is a mess.  Great scottt.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #21 on: December 31, 2007, 05:06:47 PM »
Wow, your paranoia is making you look like an even bigger a hole.

Carolann,

Would you mind explaining this PM you just sent to me?  What paranoia and why an "a hole"?  What dealings have I had with you other than this thread?  And my posts in this thread have basically been written in support of what you've related in this story of yours, no?

Does it not read that way to you, Carolann?

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #22 on: December 31, 2007, 05:43:04 PM »
I hear you girl. Blake would not last long in the hood. Any play Aunty worth her weight would push his ass over the balcony. Homicidal homo's are no match for an angry colored girl. ;D

Well Aunty, you know things get handled way differently in the hood. ;) True story here, I knew a girl who was pregnant and was being abused by her bf. I guess she had enough or the hormones kicked in one, she killed his ass. She did have to go to jail for a minute but ended up beating the rap. Miracles do happen in the hood too once in awhile...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #23 on: December 31, 2007, 06:09:40 PM »
You know Timmy, you might have hit a little too close to home.  Just sayin'

Queen, loved the story!  Justice does exist sometimes.

Carolann, if Blakey doesn't want to do anything, probably nothing will happen until something happens.  I guess what I'm trying to say is, if nothing changes, nothing changes.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Carolann

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #24 on: December 31, 2007, 06:20:34 PM »
I know that there is really nothing I can do other than offer a safe place to go. The first sign that this guy was trouble was the fact that he had immediate and extreme rage reactions to minor things.  When a person has a hair-trigger temper, trouble is usually around the corner.  Animal killing seems to go a little beyond even the most abusive behaviors.  It takes a great deal to shock me, but this really did.  To those being helpful, thank you for your advice.  Regardless of the others opinions of me, or their paranoid ideations of who they think I am, there is a person in grave danger here. And domestic violence and the slaughter of pets is never funny. 


Offline Dachshund

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #25 on: December 31, 2007, 06:23:23 PM »
Well Aunty, you know things get handled way differently in the hood. ;) True story here, I knew a girl who was pregnant and was being abused by her bf. I guess she had enough or the hormones kicked in one, she killed his ass. She did have to go to jail for a minute but ended up beating the rap. Miracles do happen in the hood too once in awhile...

Hood has to take care of it's own, cuz nobody else will.

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #26 on: December 31, 2007, 06:26:58 PM »
And now this PM.  Carolann,  what the heck is going on with you here?  You might as well just post your response because I will simply copy and post anything you send to me like this because you're freaking me out.  

Again I ask you:  What is driving all this?  Please explain yourself.  

I guess if I really bored you, you would ignore my posts, but you just cannot seem to tear yourself away from them.  I don't post on your threads, because you do in fact bore me.  Also, I respect your right to express yourself, as I do not own this website.  Perhaps much of your fixation on me has to do with the fact that nothing much is going on in your life.  You think I am someone I am not.  Your delusional thinking would be funny if it weren't quite so sad.  I am sure that you have some good qualities, so I cannot understand why you waste so much of your time on me.  

I know that you, Thunter and Philly have made this website the cornerstone of your existence.  Why not make some friends outside of cyberspace?  This way you won't be seeing imaginary goblins and trolls in the threads of other people.

What I find really funny is that you and your two cyberbuddies seem to get so much satisfaction out of accusing me of being someone that I am not.  With all your amateurish sleuthing, you still have not been able to prove your theory, because your theory is wrong.  Your own mental health issues prevent you from simply admitting that you are wrong. Why not attend to your own mental health issues rather than dwelling on your paranoid delusions?

Thunter seems to have a temper problem of his own.  He goes off half-cocked all the time and seems to be on this website 24/7.  If either of you had meaningful relationships in real life perhaps this website would not be such an all consuming obsession.  I am rarely here as I have real friends in the real world.  

Just sayin'.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline thunter34

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #27 on: December 31, 2007, 06:32:28 PM »
PS:  Carolann,  if you think I'm the type to make light of animal cruelty, you really don't know a thing about who I am. 

At all.

It is not my intent to derail this thread off topic, but I think the nature of these messages are relevent to how others here may preceive this discussion.  Plus, they have to be in relation to this thread because I don't recall any other interaction with Carolann other than this thread...nothing that would evoke this sort of thing.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline BT65

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #28 on: December 31, 2007, 06:36:34 PM »
Carolann:
 Why are you attacking other people?  It makes me wonder who the one with the problem is here.  I mean, you did rant quite a bit in your messages to Thunter. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Carolann

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #29 on: December 31, 2007, 06:37:06 PM »
Now to hijack my own thread.

Thunter,

I merely copied you on my response to a pm from Dachund which stated:

"Rob/Koi

spoken like a true sociopath and believe me we know way more than you think. it's just that you and your trolling ain't that important to anyone. in fact we actually get a kick out of your crazy. hopefully your friend will get the psychiatric services you he needs. go play crazy somewhere else, you bore me."

Ever since I joined this website, you, Dachund, and Philly have accused me of being some rob/koi person.  As far as I know the matter was investigated by the moderators and it was determined that the three of you were incorrect.  You three have repeatedly made snide comments in my threads, while I generally avoid posting in your threads.  If you were correct in your assumptions, it certainly would have been proven by now, unless you think the moderators are incompetant, which I assure you, they are not.

I feel almost stalked by you three, and while I admit that I can be a real B----- sometimes, I don't think my behavior is any worse than many others here.  

I merely posted a thread about a real person in real danger, and once again, you hijack my thread, and hurl accusations.  Seriously, are you ever more than three feet from your computer, and do you have anything else in your life besides this website???  If you were bored with me, you would simply ignore me and you cannot.  

Now that is pathertic.

Betty, I attacked no one in this thread.  I merely responded via PM to a PM sent to me.  The attacks were started by Dachund and Thunter, not by me.  Thunter breached forum decorum by displaying the contents of a PM in the thread, and responding to a PM via the thread.  IF what I said to him was so objectionable, he should again follow the rules of the forum and report me to the moderator.  I have done nothing wrong. Sorry.

Enough said.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2007, 06:39:55 PM by Carolann »

Offline thunter34

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #30 on: December 31, 2007, 06:39:16 PM »
Actually, I just copied you on what I sent Dachund.  I will post what he sent me.  

Very well.  It still doesn't answer the previous PM above that you sent directly to me, nor does it provide reason you speak so very poorly of me in the message to Dachshund.  I've had almost no interaction with you on these forums, and I don't get where all this about me "going off half cocked all the time" and having "a temper problem".  

I think I am in pretty good standing on here, and I think I've behaved in a manner that's earned that.  

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #31 on: December 31, 2007, 06:41:43 PM »
Nice Carol Ann -- why are you PMing other people and raising my name today when in fact I've not said a single damn thing in this entire thread?

Speaks volumes, that's for sure.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2007, 06:44:17 PM by philly267 »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Carolann

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #32 on: December 31, 2007, 06:42:59 PM »
Thunter, with all due respect, the things you are bringing up represent a hijack, as they were things mentioned in a PM and not in the body of the thread.  As a constant user of this website, I am a little shocked that you are breaching the decorum of a forum you use on a very constant basis.

We can discuss the other issues via PM, as your behavior represents a breach of forum protocol.  Gee, it is almost 7p.m. E.S.T. no plans tonight :P

Offline Carolann

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #33 on: December 31, 2007, 06:44:35 PM »
Philly, you have given me nothing but flack since I have been here.  Thanks for the additional hijack.  I feel that there is nothing wrong with my stating this fact. No plans tonight either ::)

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #34 on: December 31, 2007, 06:47:59 PM »
And this thread too shall receive the lockdown....I'm not even going to get involved in the PM drama but I will say if your concern is truly about your friend CarolAnn then you should be heeding the advice that has been given here. I do not see the point of you pming Thunter with the dramatics. The time you wasted pming Thunter could've been spent thinking of ways to help your friend. Now I have to question is there really a problem going on here?
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Offline Carolann

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #35 on: December 31, 2007, 06:50:14 PM »
And this thread too shall receive the lockdown....I'm not even going to get involved in the PM drama but I will say if your concern is truly about your friend CarolAnn then you should be heeding the advice that has been given here. I do not see the point of you pming Thunter with the dramatics. The time you wasted pming Thunter could've been spent thinking of ways to help your friend. Now I have to question is there really a problem going on here?

Agreed.  My concern is my friend. I merely came here for advice. 

Offline thunter34

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #36 on: December 31, 2007, 06:54:23 PM »
Thunter, with all due respect, the things you are bringing up represent a hijack, as they were things mentioned in a PM and not in the body of the thread.  As a constant user of this website, I am a little shocked that you are breaching the decorum of a forum you use on a very constant basis.

We can discuss the other issues via PM, as your behavior represents a breach of forum protocol.  Gee, it is almost 7p.m. E.S.T. no plans tonight :P

Many apologies, but I explained my reasoning just above.  It is not my intention to highjack.  This is a valuable topic for discussion, so far be it from me to want to rob this thread.  But the messages you've sent me are quite a breach of forum etiquette and appear to be directly related to this thread as we have not had any other exchanges, Carolann.  And I think the bizarre nature of the attacks might speak to the credibility of the entire discussion at hand, so if you please...explain yourself.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #37 on: December 31, 2007, 06:58:43 PM »
Terrific. New Year's Eve and you're at each others' throats.

Locked.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2007, 07:00:27 PM by Tim Horn »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: HIV and Domestic Violence
« Reply #38 on: December 31, 2007, 08:15:33 PM »
I just want to add that IF the subject about which the thread was originally begun inspires another thread it can't  be a replay of the train wreck this one turned into.

No further personal squabbling about it will be tolerated. And don't even think of bothering about "explaining" what happened in this one.

Re-locked.
Andy Velez

 


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