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Author Topic: Another ex lurker................  (Read 2215 times)

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Offline Denvaux

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Another ex lurker................
« on: December 29, 2007, 04:42:05 AM »
Hello there to everybody on this poz community forum - I`m glad I found this place.

It`s not actually true that I just tested positive as  it was almost two years ago now back in February 2006, yet even though it`s been so long It feels like just a few months to me as I haven`t exactly dealt with it very well - booze - booze and even more booze was my instinctive reaction to the news. Anyhow I have more recently tried to get my act together and that I`m now getting along to the clinic and doing bloods when I have to is I hope the beginning of my accepting the reality of the situation.
As I said I`m glad I found this place as I really dont have anyone to talk to, anyone I can trust anyhow; so reading on this forum has helped to atleast lift my mood and my head is not as groggy as usual as a result. Anyhow Im not the best speaker or writer so I dont want to go on and on, on this my first post so i guess im just really saying hi - but I think I`m going to need help with this.

Denvaux

London UK

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,955
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Another ex lurker................
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2007, 05:18:05 AM »
Hi Denvaux

Welcome to the forum, you will find answers to your questions here, if you have already been reading then you will know that the guys here are always willing to help.

I moved your thread here so you will hopfully get more help here...I'm glad to hear that you are getting on with life, it takes time but it sounds like you are now heading in the right direct..please keep in touch and let us know how you progress.

look forward to hearing more from you.

Hugs
Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline keyite

  • Member
  • Posts: 514
Re: Another ex lurker................
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2007, 06:24:36 AM »
Hey Denvaux - I'm a Londoner too and there's a fair few from the UK on here. Welcome and look forward to hearing more from you...   ;)

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,054
Re: Another ex lurker................
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2007, 08:14:35 AM »
Welcome Denvaux!  Glad you found us.   It sounds like you're starting to accept your poz status.  It's always a process, isn't it?  It's not like we just find out we're poz and are totally accepting of it right away.   I'm glad that you're at least starting to deal with it. Keep in touch.
Peace-
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Denvaux

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Another ex lurker................
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2007, 09:40:19 AM »
Yes, this forum is my 1st real outlet since I was diagnosed on 02/02/06.

I was initially tested postive for syphillis  and it was due to the fact that this syphillis infection happened to be " so rampant " [Drs used term] that the medical team had concerns - I had 4mm high growths all over my body - I was likened to an armadillo and it was evident that my immune system was under some strain. Eventually hiv infection was found to be the cause - no doubt just as the Drs expected.

Anyhow as I said earlier I didn`t deal with this very well and I was basically out of my head on alcohol and or cocaine for almost the remainder of  the year 2006 - I really do not know how I managed to keep my home and my job. No thats not completely true as  I managed to keep my home by doubling credit card and personal loan debt - talk about piling on the stresses.

I`ve been rather less self destructive in 2007 and though the stresses and low low periods have not gone away  I`m not escaping  myself with booze and cocaine anymore and I`m going to the clinic every three months for bloods and consultation.I don`t know how long I have been infected with hiv and I have tried to get a medical answer to this based on cd4 and or viral load but as far as I can tell this can`t be done as there is no way of saying what my natural cd4 count was when hiv- and that would have to be the starting point - that togather with your annual cell lose - can anyone tell me differently?

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • Posts: 24,424
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Another ex lurker................
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2007, 10:20:17 AM »
I don`t know how long I have been infected with hiv and I have tried to get a medical answer to this based on cd4 and or viral load but as far as I can tell this can`t be done as there is no way of saying what my natural cd4 count was when hiv- and that would have to be the starting point - that togather with your annual cell lose - can anyone tell me differently?

I had that same problem, but when I pressed one doctor (about a decade after my diagnosis... not sure why I didn't ask before that!) he estimated 5 years -- and I was sub-200 cd4s so obviously that's more than feasible.  It's just an estimate though, but it lines up fairly well with when I began having higher risk (i.e. anal) sex, and even then it could have very well been my first time doing that, unfortunately.  It could very well be 3 years I suppose, that but would be a rather fast dip into AIDS-ish numbers.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: Another ex lurker................
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2007, 10:50:16 AM »
Hi,

Welcome.  Glad you found the forums and are on your way back to the clinic.

Cliff

Offline vokz

  • Member
  • Posts: 391
  • efavirenz junkie
Re: Another ex lurker................
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2007, 02:17:42 PM »
Welcome.

In many ways it is best not knowing exactly when you became HIV-positive. If you think your behaviour to date has been destructive, just wait till you see what putting a face and a name to their infection can do to some people ;)

Offline Denvaux

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Another ex lurker................
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2007, 03:12:12 PM »
Vokz,
I think I know what you`re saying there but for me it`s more specifically about "when - how long" and not who?  i`m learning that this infection progresses over many years and the number of years from infection to AIDS will vary from person to person; and personaly I would rather know when in terms of how long.
I did ask a doctor the question "how long based on my readings?" and he initialy seemed koy, but he then said that he thought maybe 2 to 3yrs. I then asked could it be longer - could it be 6 or 7 years? And to this he answered yes it could.

This is confusing to say the very least as both of his answers contradict themselves and it leaves me wondering why both could be yes based on my readings and that he would have been better off if he said "we can`t know that"  but then I`m not a Doc.


Denvaux

London UK
« Last Edit: December 31, 2007, 03:16:31 PM by Denvaux »

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,054
Re: Another ex lurker................
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2007, 06:17:14 PM »
Denvaux:

The doctor was giving you probably his best estimate.  I haven't met anyone yet who can tell me the exact date that they were infected. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,256
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Another ex lurker................
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2007, 07:30:29 PM »
I haven`t exactly dealt with it very well - booze - booze and even more booze was my instinctive reaction to the news. Anyhow I have more recently tried to get my act together and that I`m now getting along to the clinic and doing bloods when I have to is I hope the beginning of my accepting the reality of the situation.
Denvaux

London UK

Glad to hear that you pulling it together. When I was diagnosed positive in 1985, I spent the first 18 months, after my diagnoses intoxicated almost daily.So, you are not alone there ! I finally realised this wasn't going to work. I am an alcoholic, so giving up the alcohol was the best thing I ever did, it saved my life... But I have to confess, I will have a sip or two of Champagne at work tonight, as I always do around the holidays.

One more thing, stay on top of those blood tests. This is where I made some critical mistakes, which put my life in jeopardy back in 2003. I started on meds with 16 t-cells !!  Continue being monitored, don't wait until you have to go to the Emergency room, like I did.
It's not worth it, and the road to recovery is a tough one. I was lucky...


Take care of yourself/ Have a great New Year------Ray
« Last Edit: December 31, 2007, 07:32:04 PM by J.R.E. »
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

 


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