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Author Topic: Should I mind my own business  (Read 3460 times)

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Offline 27years

  • Member
  • Posts: 145
  • What I did for love I will still do it for love
Should I mind my own business
« on: December 21, 2007, 03:24:52 PM »
I have done quite well since i tested poz and i realised that life goes on with or without hiv, however the situation at the moment makes me feel like exploding and angry at the same time.  When i got my results i told my x boyfriend though he refused to get tasted himself.  Recently he went to Africa and got married and it was an arranged traditional marriage.  Knowing my x i think he might not even have told the lady the situation.  I feel like telling her what she might get herself into but on the other hand i think what my x does is none of my business.  i wouldnt want any other women to go through what i have been and have the virus and say had i known which is what i say to myself sometimes.  Should i just assume that he has told her the truth and the lady accepted him as it is, or i should just mind my own business and my own affairs.
Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Should I mind my own business
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2007, 03:54:31 PM »
That is a touchy situation. I went through something like that with an ex. When I disclosed to him, he seemed cool with it even though we broke up for other reasons. The one thing that stuck in my head was when he said, he doesn't want to know. Since then he has been with another woman who is rumored to be poz and is now married to someone else also rumored to be poz. Just letting you know I have been where you are.

You did the responsible thing and told your ex. Hard as it may be, you may have to leave the rest for him to deal with. You are assuming that he did not disclose when he could have. And if he did not disclose, I don't see where it is your responsibility to inform his wife. How would you ever know the truth anyway? Just saying....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Posts: 1,918
  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Should I mind my own business
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2007, 06:04:47 PM »
Sometimes we just have to look out for #1, ourselves.  Its not up to you to do what your X should be responsible enough to do.  If he doesn't tell her and she becomes poz, it shouldn't be on your head.  I know its tough not to think about, but I say keep out of the situation, which has the potential to escalate if you get involved.  Everyone else should be looking out for #1, too.
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline 27years

  • Member
  • Posts: 145
  • What I did for love I will still do it for love
Re: Should I mind my own business
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2007, 04:11:43 PM »
Thanks ladies for your opinions.  I will try and stay clear of them and mind my own life.  I know its hard but i will get over it with time, i have realised i don't owe anyone any favour at all and my x is a mature person and should be responsible for his acts as good as i am responsible for my own.
 
Merry Christmas to you all and a prosperous new year and thanks for your support when the world seems to be falling on me sometimes
Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,902
Re: Should I mind my own business
« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2007, 08:36:49 AM »
Hey 27, I agree with the other ones. Something I try to live by is "Live and Let Live." 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Should I mind my own business
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2007, 03:58:56 PM »
27--

I could help but notice your comment about the pressure of the world on your shoulders. I use to stress about the world too but it took some time for me to realize that I need to stop stressing over things that I have no control over. Maybe you should try doing the same. Concern yourself with the things that you do have control over and go from there. I will keep you in my prayers...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

tendai

  • Guest
Re: Should I mind my own business
« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2008, 04:25:17 AM »
i was wondering about the line "Evil prospers when good men do nothing". Would it not apply here? i mean. its like seeing a person about to commit a crime then looking the other way because that crime isnt going to happen to you. i'm just wondering.  :-\

 


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