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Author Topic: Year of Torture  (Read 3696 times)

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Offline www12345

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Year of Torture
« on: December 18, 2007, 06:21:10 PM »
About a  year ago I got about a minute of unprotected oral sex and protected vaginal from a 21 year old who works as an escort.  I did not notice any condom malfunction.  I read all the website and convinced myself that I was OK, since the risk was very low, but still took a 3rd generation test at 40.5 (close to 6 weeks) since I read that they 95-99% accurate at this time.  I was also negative for all the other STDs.  In addition, my wife and I got tested 4 years ago together and were negative for everything.  This was my only mistake since then.  After the test we had unprotected sex many times even when she was on a heavy period (sorry to be graphic) and in the summer she got pregnant.  She took an HIV test for pregnancy and at 8 weeks and was negative  I know I can't use her results for mind, but my mind is wondering now and I could not live if I hurt the baby. I was fine except I came across a few sites from doctors who insist a condom is not 100% even if it stays intact and how if secretions from the cervix made their way down and got on me?  Also I read that if you touch the secretions from the condom and then your eye, you can be infected.  I read that the enzymes in saliva can inactivate 40-90% of the HIV virus, but what about the rest, how about if it got saliva  in my urethra?  Given my situation, protected vaginal, received unprotected oral, a negative 3rd generation at 40.5 days, and an HIV negative wife, is there any realistic chance of HIV for me?  Your help is appreciated.  What do you advise my next steps to be?  Has anyone on this site or taht you know of turned positive from this exposure?
« Last Edit: December 18, 2007, 06:24:23 PM by www12345 »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2007, 07:45:38 PM »
This is not a low risk situation, it's a no risk situation. Your 6 week result is valid because you were never exposed to the virus.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our Lessons to learn more about how HIV is and is not transmitted.


Offline www12345

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2007, 09:37:35 PM »
Ann or Andy, any repsonse?  Thanks Matt.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2007, 09:56:53 PM »
Matty is correct, there is nothing to add. You didn't have a risk. It wouldn't hurt for you to take time and read the lessons on transmission.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2007, 10:30:26 PM »
Matty and Rod have given you the real deal. Condoms provide very effective protection against HIV transmission. So no risk there. In the entire history of the epidemic no guy's ever confirmed to have become infected from getting a blowjob. It's safe to say you aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

Yours is a classic example of dawg guilt after having gone astray. You have a lot of company but happily your fears have no basis whatsoever in HIV science despite all those cockamamie what ifs you're coming up with.

You can't undo having strayed. And it's not a love tribute to your family to torture yourself with guilt and remorse. The best thing you can do is see it, take a breath and let it go and get on with your life.

This is not an HIV situation so just move on. Period. 
Andy Velez

Offline www12345

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2007, 08:04:44 PM »
Andy, Rod, and Matt, thanks for your help.  I reread the lessons.  I guess my small worry in reading the lessons was that oral sex is considered a possible risk, but there has never been a documented case (or very few - as it was stated).  I'm assuming there has to be some extraordinary circumstances like bleeding gums or something of that nature.  I guess I would have noticed it and it is extremely unlikely that it would have happend in a minute.  I guess reading Dr. Bob, he also says an extremely small risk in insertive oral.  Anyway, a six week (40.5 days) test would of probably caught it anyway.  It was typical overanalyzing on my part.  I also know the studies about magnetic couples, but wondered whether they had HIV-2, which I read is harder to catch, but not prominent in the US.  Anyway, I will and should move on and thanks again.  Thanks to Ann as well even though she did not comment, I'm a big fan.  Take it easy guys, I appreciate you helping guys/gals like myself. 
« Last Edit: December 19, 2007, 08:45:27 PM by www12345 »

Offline Ann

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2007, 09:00:22 PM »
Unless you're in the habit of punching the person giving you a blowjob in the mouth before they blow you, you don't need to worry about blood. Seriously.

"Oral sex" is a broad term. Getting a blowjob is NOT a risk. Not one person has every been infected this way and you won't be the first. Get over it.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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Offline www12345

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2008, 04:54:33 PM »
I was OK until I started thinking what if the escort's vaginal secretions got on my shaft.  I used a condom and covered my whole penis except for probably 1/4 inch or so.  She was on top of me, would I have a risk if there were microscopic cuts on my penis where it was not covered and her secretions went into those?  When girls have been on top before, I have had some secretions in my pubic hair, etc.  Thanks.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2008, 05:40:00 PM »
Yah, well all of those additional details notwithstanding, you are worrying needlessly. Give it up and get on with your life. Really. No cause for concern about HIV this time.
Andy Velez

Offline www12345

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #9 on: February 27, 2008, 07:30:41 AM »
Thanks Andy.  I figured that the microscpoic cuts talk was nonsense.  I read it from a doctor, but I believe AIDSMED and that it is not an efficient way of transmission.  Would the only way to be infected through the very small uncovered part of the shaft would be if there was an actively bleeding cut that was visible?  I believe HIV could not penetrate intact skin.  What in skin renders HIV ineffective?  Does HIV die in seconds when outside the body...if HIV got on that piece of my shaft, would it have died within seconds?  Thanks, I appreciate the education.

Offline BT65

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #10 on: February 27, 2008, 08:11:26 AM »
HIV has to have an 'opening' in the skin (re: open sore) to get inside the body.  HIV cannot live on skin where there isn't this opening.  So your risk was, as stated above, no risk.  Period.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Year of Torture
« Reply #11 on: February 27, 2008, 08:47:48 AM »
OK, I am going to say this just once more. You were absolutely not at risk for HIV in this incident you're concerned about.

If the test was for guilt, well that would be a whole other matter, because you'd be through the roof on that one. You're a dawg like a lot of us and you went straying. You can't undo that bit of your personal history. The best thing you can do for all concerned is to take a breath, see it and let it go. You're poisoning your life with this unwarranted concern.

And this is NOT an HIV situation.

Andy Velez


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