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Author Topic: New guy!  (Read 4901 times)

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Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
New guy!
« on: July 12, 2006, 05:00:31 PM »
Hey guys.  Been lurking here for about 3 months now and finally decided to join the family and tell ya my story. First of all I live in Olathe, Kansas (just outside Kansas City).  I am getting ready to get married in October of this year in Florida to my best friend and soul mate! (More on her later) I have, what most would consider, a good job and a great supportive family here in town.  I have two little girls 4 and 2 who are the light of my life and who I adore every day.  I am certainly not the most eloquent writer on this board and would consider myself more in the mold of a “Matty The Damned” (mad props to you my man! You make me chuckle!)

I am a “mostly” heterosexual (labeling sucks, check my sig line for further details) white guy, 33 years old from the burbs. I was married to my first wife in 1996 and started to live the “life”, good job, nice house, 2.2 kids, 1 dog and a cat.  Starting in 1998 or so, I started to experiment with my sexuality (stupid internet).  From there I got progressively worse with my sexual escapades and finally by 2000 I became a full blown sex addict (mostly men).  It was a vicious cycle I was unable to control or get out of.  In November of 2004 my “secret life” was exposed to my then wife.  I then decided to seek treatment immediately for sexual addiction.  To begin my treatment they administered what I thought was a full blown STD panel that included HIV, it did not.  So, back to the hospital for more blood drawn.  It was then that I got the invite/secret virus to this little club, it was December of 2004. I was VERY lucky to be in treatment with a man who forever helped me and changed my life.  (George if you are out there I love you and thank you)  He found out around the same time that he was HIV positive and he was extremely important in helping me through my initial shock.  Not only did he help me emotionally he was a leading surgeon in his state and helped me out with the science of HIV.   At the time I found out, my then wife was pregnant with our second child, so I was in somewhat of a full blown panic, although I had come to determine the approximate date of my infection (due to going through invitro fertilization, and the testing they do) and the exact date of my seroconversion.  Lucky for ALL involved we hadnt had sex during the time of my initial infection. This was one of the few positive things to come out of this.  With the way I was living my life I am VERY grateful I didn’t infect any of my loved ones, I just don’t know how I could have lived with that. 

Long story LONGER, they reported my status to the state, who then decided to call my house and inform my wife of my status.  Needless to say I was NOT happy.  This is something that I and I alone should have done as it is/was my responsibility.  ANYWAY, we decided, well mostly her (and I can’t blame her) decided, she couldn’t live with a man who has “AIDS” as she put it.  So the divorce began.  By then I was back at work with A LOT on my mind.  My coworkers had figured out that the wife and I were divorcing and me not being a fan of being ALONE decided to start going out.  None of it had really sunk in yet, and I now realize I was definitely hiding in plain sight as they say.  Well about a month later a co-worker decided to introduce me to a friend of hers.  And I am nervous as hell, fist of all  I hadn’t really thought about “seeing” somebody AT ALL.  I pretty much had resigned myself to NO relationships as who would want “tainted goods”.  But, noone other than me really knew my status.  So I decided to go along with it and met her for lunch, then happy hour, then dinner, then a date that weekend!  I could not get enough of this girl!  Everything I ever wanted in a woman and more, if it wasn’t for this blasted disease maybe I could actually be happy.  Well, disclosure was an AWFUL thing to think about and I waited longer than I should have (NEVER put her in jeapordy) to tell, and was completely prepared for her to leave me and all my co-workers to find out, as she was friends with one of them.  To my surprise and UTTER shock, when I told her, she looked at me, both of us crying and said “I am going to need some time to let this sink in, but I love you to much to leave you over this!”  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!  FIRST PERSON I TOLD!  After reading disclosures on here I now REALLY realize how truly blessed I am to have her.  She is my best friend and my soul mate, the one I live for.  (Wait till you hear how I proposed!  WAAAAAAAAAAY over the top)  It’s true what they say…. “True love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to!” 

Sooooo that pretty much catches you up on the back story!  While I was writing this my ID Doc just called with my new labs.  I just started Truvada/Sustiva about 2 months ago, before that I was on Combivir/Sustiva.  New labs ARE……… 

CD4-729
CD4 %- 36%
Viral Load- Undetectable

Thank you all for reading my “mea maxima culpa”, I hope I haven’t bored you too much.  I really didn’t think it would be THIS LONG!  I have lots of questions and WAY too many opinions to keep my mouth shut so please have patience with me and know that even though I don’t know any of you yet I open my heart to all of you and consider everyone here as family.

Thank you,
Andrew
 

PS
How do I get my sig line to be BIGGER and CENTERED?  It's the reason I decided to register today so I think it needs to be more prominent!
« Last Edit: July 12, 2006, 05:12:46 PM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: New guy!
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2006, 05:12:11 PM »
Hi Andrew,

Glad you finally decided to join the family. Its a great place with great people but i guess u already know that since you have been lurking... :D

I know exactly where Olathe is...I live in Wichita.
 
Congratulations on your numbers!

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,957
Re: New guy!
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2006, 05:20:22 PM »
Welcome Andrew,

Glad you decided to join us...can't wait to hear how you proposed.

Hal
(who also gives mad props to Matty)

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: New guy!
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2006, 05:26:07 PM »
Hi Andrew,

Welcome to the family!  There's a lot of support and information here, as I'm sure you realize.  I've also been fortunate in my disclosure.  Thanks for the introduction post; it is nice to 'know' the person behind the name. 

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Lwood

  • Member
  • Posts: 797
  • Here's Lookin At You....
Re: New guy!
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2006, 05:50:35 PM »
Welcome aboard !

Thats one of the best introductions Ive ever read, even though its a Cliffhanger...
Please tell me that you didnt Propose on the Jerry Springer Show...

Im sure that youll get the answers to all of your questions, Every question Ive ever had 
(with the possible exception of the one about determining the sex of a banana tree sapling) has been answered here..
The name of your town rang a bell, isn't Olathe is noted for a unique variety of sweet corn? Between that and the Barbecue youre set. ;D 
 Dont hold out with the proposal story too long...oh ya, I love the avatar pic :D

Lwood 8) 
"Fortunately, I Keep My T Cells Numbered For Just Such An Emergency"
  -Either Foghorn Leghorn or Johnny Cash

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: New guy!
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2006, 05:54:48 PM »
Full proposal story tomorrow!  Gotta go pic up my GIRLIES now!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline OzPaul

  • Member
  • Posts: 410
  • a very blessed 29 year ltnp
Re: New guy!
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2006, 06:45:04 PM »
Andrew

Welcome to our family !!!
Also, your story is beautifully written and heartfelt. I too look forward to  hearing from you again and catching up on you wedding proposal story.

All the best
Paul

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: New guy!
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2006, 07:50:35 PM »
I hate "Cliff Hangers!!!"  I am going to have to go get my emory board out and fix me nails now....  What a wonderful story Andrew and I am so happy for you.  Welcome to the forum.   I did my time at KU.. 

Love

Offline jordan

  • Member
  • Posts: 239
  • What I want is a celebration
Re: New guy!
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2006, 08:24:55 PM »
Hi Andrew:

Welcome to the forum. Thanks for sharing your story.  :)
If you think your lonely now, wait until tonight.

Offline Nadine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: New guy!
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2006, 08:35:58 PM »
Welcome to the family Andrew...very nice to meet ya!

Offline JohnOso

  • Member
  • Posts: 816
Re: New guy!
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2006, 08:52:03 PM »
Hey Andrew,

you've got quite a story to tell there buddy!  glad you stumbled in here with the rest of us, i think you'll be happy with this place (overall  ;))

John

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: New guy!
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2006, 08:54:52 PM »
hey Andrew,

nice to meet you.

waiting, waiting patiently for part 2... ;D

steve
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Trish

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
Re: New guy!
« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2006, 09:49:50 PM »
Hi Andrew,

Welcome aboard.  We've got a great family here with loads of support, knowledge and just plain old caring and lots of love.

Congrats on the proposal -- love is always in the air if we give it a chance.  You've got a great lady on your side and I wish you both all the best and much happiness.

Just so you know, I live in KC, MO with my boyfriend John (kcmetroman) who I met right here on the forums.  I'm originally from NY (lived there all my life) but recently moved to KC to be with John.  I've been poz for 17 years and although life had thrown me this curve, things do get better if we give ourselves a chance to move on in life.  Seems that you're heading in the right direction and I look forward to getting to know more about you.  I'll be waiting for the next installment.

Thanks for sharing and not being a lurker anymore.  And have a ball with your girls -- I'm sure that they are the light of your life which gives you that extra push to go on.

All the best to you and your family,

Trish :)
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: New guy!
« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2006, 10:50:53 PM »
I am certainly not the most eloquent writer on this board and would consider myself more in the mold of a “Matty The Damned” (mad props to you my man! You make me chuckle!)

Only chuckle? No rib busting guffaws? I'll have to try harder.

Welcome Andrew!

MtD

Offline richfinsm

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
  • Be better to one another
Re: New guy!
« Reply #14 on: July 13, 2006, 05:48:28 AM »
...watch your back is all I'll say
« Last Edit: August 13, 2006, 09:19:56 AM by richfinsm »
Positive since 1/85.  Tested positive with full-blown AIDS 5/93.

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: New guy!
« Reply #15 on: July 13, 2006, 06:33:51 AM »
Welcome Andrew -This is one of the best sites on Earth! You'll learn so much just by reading. Looking forward to hearing 'bout the over the top proposal  8)


Alex
(allopathicholistic)

Offline penguin

  • Member
  • Posts: 747
  • The Penguin Whisperer
Re: New guy!
« Reply #16 on: July 13, 2006, 06:48:52 AM »
hello andrew, nice to meet you  :)

Kate

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: New guy!
« Reply #17 on: July 13, 2006, 08:24:38 AM »
Well Hello neighbor!  I figured it was only a matter of time before someone else from KC registered here in the Hotel California.


As Trish said, we live here (near the Gladstone area) in Kansas City.  Would love to meet the two of you sometime.

Best of luck on the wedding Andrew.

John

Offline RAB

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: New guy!
« Reply #18 on: July 13, 2006, 08:54:06 AM »
Welcome Andrew!

Thanks for taking the time to introduce yourself.  Labs look good, wedding on it's way, and 2 adorable kids--lots of things that make life . . . .well life!

RAB   :)

Offline randym431

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,125
Re: New guy!
« Reply #19 on: July 13, 2006, 09:09:22 AM »
Hi and welcome. That sure is a edge of your seat story. And the line “True love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to!”  Thats something to remember. I'm very glad you caught it and started meds BEFORE your counts were in the crapper (like sadly so many start out with). I sure wish I'd have been tested and known much sooner and started meds much sooner, but as it were I have bounced back. Meds... no fun, but they do work (as you now know).
I love that word "undetectable". Its the whole ball game.
I'm all ears to part 2 of your story :D

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: New guy!
« Reply #20 on: July 13, 2006, 10:48:01 AM »
[Paul Harvey voice over] And now… the REST of the story….

I had decided I could not live without this woman just about the same day I disclosed to her!  But after JUST getting out of a bad marriage (albeit I was the bad part, it just wasn’t a good fit) I was a little tentative in opening up with ALL of my secrets.  She hadn’t yet known how I contracted my lovely parting gift and assumed I got it from a woman.  Over the course of the next few weeks my past began to unveil itself.  And this SAINT, big hearted, love of my life, CONTINUED to love me and realized that I had a VERY healthy and slightly outside the norm sexual appetite!  She was totally ok with it all.  I always had thought you had to give something up with women; for example you could have totally hot and intelligent but not sexually adventurous or sexually adventurous but completely off her rocker and unstable makin’ $5.25 at Burger King as the “FRY GIRL”!  I found the golden goose, the pot at the end of the rainbow, my very own SOUL MATE!  So it was then I decided to make plans to woo said maiden right off her feet!  So… when that didn’t work, I bought lots of shiny things and paid her a stipend to stick arou… IM KIDDING!

The Proposal:
First of all I asked her father for her hand in marriage.  He is like a second father to me now and I LOVE her family.  (they do not know my status, and we aren’t sure they need to yet).  After heavy negotiations we decided the price for her hand was 12 camels, 4 AK-47’s and a carton of Pall Mall’s.  I then decided I wanted to do it BIG, not like hot air balloon or stadium scoreboard kind of thing but something totally unique, which fits right along with my personality.  I rented out an entire movie theatre here in Kansas City, actually where we saw our first movie together.  I told her that I had received tickets to a sneak preview of some new movie coming out and wouldn’t it be fun to go.  So we made plans to attend.

For 3 months her best friend and I plot and schemed.  So, we get to the theatre and lo and behold, nobody else is there.  It’s just me and my love sitting in a theatre that seats 50, has recliners and a waitstaff to bring us drinks and the like.  It was then that it started.  I had put together a Power Point presentation that began with what seemed like movie trivia; I revealed to her that the answers laid out to say “Mia will you marry me” at the END of the night.  After the trivia the 20th Century Fox theme and picture with the spotlights comes up so it seems like the movie is starting, we then move to the DREAMWORKS logo cause I just thought that fit PERFECTLY!  At this point she is still totally unsuspecting, we are making idle chit chat and I say “Shhhhh movies starting….”  BAM Up pops a picture of her and me that is absolutely beautiful and over the speakers is playing our song, Kenny Chesney’s “You had me at hello”.  She gasps and her hand flies to her mouth as the tears start cascading down her cheeks, it still brings tears to my eyes.  She was so surprised and happy it was one of the most beautiful things I have seen in my life.  She grabs my hand and gives me this “I love you with all my heart” look in her eyes and turns back to the screen, cause we aint done boys and girls.  For the sake of brevity I will give you an overview of the presentation: as the song continues to play, slides pop up with all of our firsts together, I had snuck around town and taken pictures of me sitting in all the places)  first time I met her, first date, first kiss, first vacation etc. If you really know me you KNOW I cant resist throwing some humor in their, so I took a pic of her parents house and labeled that the first place we made love!  Along with the first time I asked her dad to marry me (He has me in a headlock and is punching me) to the second time I asked him (we are standing there with thumbs up holding an oversized check made out to him for $500!) Also included was a slide of her and I with the saying “True love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to” across the top with the HIV/AIDS ribbon really small in the bottom corners.  I had sent her this saying with 2 dozen roses the day after I disclosed to her.  That was a special slide to her and I.  As the music winds down, the final screen comes up and I get down on one knee, at this point I had planned on saying something extremely eloquent and beautiful but was sobbing so hard I could barely get the words out…. “Mia will you marry me!”  Of course you KNOW the answer was yes!  Who could say no to that!

Story doesn’t end quite yet!  For 3 months her best friend and I had been planning this get together and I secretly invited about 20-30 of our closest friends to surprise her.  After she said yes and we watched the end of the slide show, I said there is one more little surprise for you and it was then I led her out the double doors into the arms of all of our family and friends!  Her parents are in tears, mine are in tears, her and I are in tears, my friends are all like “DAMN how am I supposed to top THAT!”, her friends are all like “OH MY GOD HE IS SOOOO ROMANTIC!” I then let everyone into the theatre to see the presentation first hand.  And it all went swimmingly till the "FIRST PLACE WE MADE LOVE" slide!  Her dad had a heart attack!  It was too funny!  We explained, rather quickly, that it was just a joke! After this we all mingled and went to a celebration dinner and began to plan the rest of our lives together! 

I would do anything for this woman, all she has to do is ask.  The ends of the earth are not my boundaries and time is no limit to the love I have for her!  I love you honey, and I can’t wait to grow old with you!

Ok, im tearing up… time to stop!


Andrew
« Last Edit: July 13, 2006, 11:06:45 AM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: New guy!
« Reply #21 on: July 13, 2006, 10:54:32 AM »
Thank you to all!  Trish and John... howdy neighbors!  I KNEW i wasnt the only cootie carrier in this town!  Look forward to meeting the both of you soon and glad you 2 found each other.  True love is a blessing!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,644
Re: New guy!
« Reply #22 on: July 13, 2006, 10:58:52 AM »
Smooth move, Coolbreeze.......

robert

(who's tearing up too.)
..........

Offline Trish

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
Re: New guy!
« Reply #23 on: July 13, 2006, 11:17:51 AM »
Hi Andrew,

Gosh, what a romantic you are... I hope John is taking notes... ;) ;)  He's a romantic too.  I wonder if he'll be able to top you. :D

Really though, what a wonderful way to steal a gal's heart.  And yes, your story made me all teary too.

Wishing you two a wonderful life together.  And John & I would certainly love to meet you in the near future.

All the best,

Trish :)



"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline purpledragonfly

  • Member
  • Posts: 149
Re: New guy!
« Reply #24 on: July 13, 2006, 02:02:58 PM »
Hello Andrew,

I loved you story, the way you propsed brought tears to my eyes. I would love to be proposed to like that.
Glad you found the forums, the people on here are great and loving. I hope to get to know you and you soon to be wife better.
Have to go now and wipe the tears from my eyes.
Have a great day.


Wendy

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: New guy!
« Reply #25 on: July 13, 2006, 02:42:15 PM »
WOW!!!

what a proposal!
Had me all teary eye too!

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline frenchpat

  • Member
  • Posts: 516
  • Love your friends, don't eat them.
Re: New guy!
« Reply #26 on: July 13, 2006, 03:47:08 PM »
Hi Andrew,

WELCOME TO THE PARTY!

VERY nice folks here, as I recently started to discover.

Pat
People have the power - Patti Smith

Offline livingpositively

  • Member
  • Posts: 369
Re: New guy!
« Reply #27 on: July 13, 2006, 06:44:22 PM »
Hey Andrew,

First, welcome to the forums.  :D

Second, WOW - I'm glad I don't have to try to top that proposal.  That's pretty awesome.  Soundsl ike you're both very lucky to have found each other.

Best wishes for you both

Shane
4/6/07   CD4 450, % 23, No VL
2/19/07 CD4 487, % 26, VL 47,500
1/4/07   CD4 357, % 27, No VL
10/3/06 CD4 500, % 26, VL 18,000
7/6/06   CD4 530, % 29, VL 83,800
4/6/06   CD4 555, % 28, VL 13,000

 


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