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New guy!

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Hey guys.  Been lurking here for about 3 months now and finally decided to join the family and tell ya my story. First of all I live in Olathe, Kansas (just outside Kansas City).  I am getting ready to get married in October of this year in Florida to my best friend and soul mate! (More on her later) I have, what most would consider, a good job and a great supportive family here in town.  I have two little girls 4 and 2 who are the light of my life and who I adore every day.  I am certainly not the most eloquent writer on this board and would consider myself more in the mold of a “Matty The Damned” (mad props to you my man! You make me chuckle!)

I am a “mostly” heterosexual (labeling sucks, check my sig line for further details) white guy, 33 years old from the burbs. I was married to my first wife in 1996 and started to live the “life”, good job, nice house, 2.2 kids, 1 dog and a cat.  Starting in 1998 or so, I started to experiment with my sexuality (stupid internet).  From there I got progressively worse with my sexual escapades and finally by 2000 I became a full blown sex addict (mostly men).  It was a vicious cycle I was unable to control or get out of.  In November of 2004 my “secret life” was exposed to my then wife.  I then decided to seek treatment immediately for sexual addiction.  To begin my treatment they administered what I thought was a full blown STD panel that included HIV, it did not.  So, back to the hospital for more blood drawn.  It was then that I got the invite/secret virus to this little club, it was December of 2004. I was VERY lucky to be in treatment with a man who forever helped me and changed my life.  (George if you are out there I love you and thank you)  He found out around the same time that he was HIV positive and he was extremely important in helping me through my initial shock.  Not only did he help me emotionally he was a leading surgeon in his state and helped me out with the science of HIV.   At the time I found out, my then wife was pregnant with our second child, so I was in somewhat of a full blown panic, although I had come to determine the approximate date of my infection (due to going through invitro fertilization, and the testing they do) and the exact date of my seroconversion.  Lucky for ALL involved we hadnt had sex during the time of my initial infection. This was one of the few positive things to come out of this.  With the way I was living my life I am VERY grateful I didn’t infect any of my loved ones, I just don’t know how I could have lived with that. 

Long story LONGER, they reported my status to the state, who then decided to call my house and inform my wife of my status.  Needless to say I was NOT happy.  This is something that I and I alone should have done as it is/was my responsibility.  ANYWAY, we decided, well mostly her (and I can’t blame her) decided, she couldn’t live with a man who has “AIDS” as she put it.  So the divorce began.  By then I was back at work with A LOT on my mind.  My coworkers had figured out that the wife and I were divorcing and me not being a fan of being ALONE decided to start going out.  None of it had really sunk in yet, and I now realize I was definitely hiding in plain sight as they say.  Well about a month later a co-worker decided to introduce me to a friend of hers.  And I am nervous as hell, fist of all  I hadn’t really thought about “seeing” somebody AT ALL.  I pretty much had resigned myself to NO relationships as who would want “tainted goods”.  But, noone other than me really knew my status.  So I decided to go along with it and met her for lunch, then happy hour, then dinner, then a date that weekend!  I could not get enough of this girl!  Everything I ever wanted in a woman and more, if it wasn’t for this blasted disease maybe I could actually be happy.  Well, disclosure was an AWFUL thing to think about and I waited longer than I should have (NEVER put her in jeapordy) to tell, and was completely prepared for her to leave me and all my co-workers to find out, as she was friends with one of them.  To my surprise and UTTER shock, when I told her, she looked at me, both of us crying and said “I am going to need some time to let this sink in, but I love you to much to leave you over this!”  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!  FIRST PERSON I TOLD!  After reading disclosures on here I now REALLY realize how truly blessed I am to have her.  She is my best friend and my soul mate, the one I live for.  (Wait till you hear how I proposed!  WAAAAAAAAAAY over the top)  It’s true what they say…. “True love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to!” 

Sooooo that pretty much catches you up on the back story!  While I was writing this my ID Doc just called with my new labs.  I just started Truvada/Sustiva about 2 months ago, before that I was on Combivir/Sustiva.  New labs ARE……… 

CD4 %- 36%
Viral Load- Undetectable

Thank you all for reading my “mea maxima culpa”, I hope I haven’t bored you too much.  I really didn’t think it would be THIS LONG!  I have lots of questions and WAY too many opinions to keep my mouth shut so please have patience with me and know that even though I don’t know any of you yet I open my heart to all of you and consider everyone here as family.

Thank you,

How do I get my sig line to be BIGGER and CENTERED?  It's the reason I decided to register today so I think it needs to be more prominent!

Hi Andrew,

Glad you finally decided to join the family. Its a great place with great people but i guess u already know that since you have been lurking... :D

I know exactly where Olathe is...I live in Wichita.
Congratulations on your numbers!


Welcome Andrew,

Glad you decided to join us...can't wait to hear how you proposed.

(who also gives mad props to Matty)

Hi Andrew,

Welcome to the family!  There's a lot of support and information here, as I'm sure you realize.  I've also been fortunate in my disclosure.  Thanks for the introduction post; it is nice to 'know' the person behind the name. 


Welcome aboard !

Thats one of the best introductions Ive ever read, even though its a Cliffhanger...
Please tell me that you didnt Propose on the Jerry Springer Show...

Im sure that youll get the answers to all of your questions, Every question Ive ever had 
(with the possible exception of the one about determining the sex of a banana tree sapling) has been answered here..
The name of your town rang a bell, isn't Olathe is noted for a unique variety of sweet corn? Between that and the Barbecue youre set. ;D 
 Dont hold out with the proposal story too long...oh ya, I love the avatar pic :D

Lwood 8) 


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