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Author Topic: Should I test?  (Read 6659 times)

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Offline lostnow

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Should I test?
« on: October 13, 2007, 10:58:15 AM »
Hi all.

Please can anyone tell me, it's possible?
I though I was been safe... but...

I'm male, been with a sex worker (male) 6 weeks ago (yes, I feel guilty for that too).

He rimmed me and then had anal sex (me as bottom, condom did not broke, no ejaculation).

After 12 days I started with a sore throat.
A few days I started feeling swollen glands (submandibular, neck, 2 shotty in posterior cervical), 1 supraclavicular left.  - Not enlarged in armpits or inguinal. It's very rare for me to have lymph nodes enlarged.
Few Headaches, tiredness and a pain in neck (almost stiff) where there.
No fever. At least didn't see a rash (only acne which is quite normal).
Three days before started with diarrhea (comes and go).
The sore throat is almost gone, and a few lymph nodes (3) submandibular left.
Mucus is still dripping anyway from behind on my throat...

He says he testes in March last time (-), and he dosen't want to test now...

That's all...

I'm paralized, fear to test right now, though I was safe, thinking about the posibility of saliva+blood (if he just brushed for example) or if he had another STD so hiv levels in saliva could be high (or been in the acute phase), and the saliva entered my anus when we had anal intercourse...

Terrified, alone, paralized... and a lot more...

Thank you.

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2007, 11:50:52 AM »
Lost,

Saliva is not infectious, not even if he just brushed his teeth. Not only is it not infectious, it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

You did not have a risk. You did exactly what you're supposed to do - you used a condom. Forget about the saliva.

As for your symptoms, symptoms or even the lack of symptoms means nothing when it comes to hiv infection. What counts is your activity - and your activities posed no risk.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do not need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Keep using those condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2007, 08:27:59 AM »
Ann, thank you for your response.

It's my only sex event with someone in more than 12 years outside a monogamous relationship. After testing negative in a checkup about 4 months ago.

Your response give me reasurrance after all the symptoms I  had (because at first I was convinced it was safe sex).

I'be been reading the "I am positive" forum and I saw a lot of people saying "I though I was playing safe", "Though did all in the books" ,etc.

I'm very worried to be in a similar situation, can't I?



Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2007, 08:33:11 AM »
Lost,

The difference with you and the people in the other threads you were reading is that you used a condom. Protected sex is just that, protected. So, no your situation is not "similar".

And really what goes on in our poz only forums has absolutely nothing to do with you. Stay out of them, ya hear?

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2007, 10:47:10 AM »
Right now you're in guilty mode because you strayed from your relationship. So your mind may continue to come up with what ifs to punish you with.

The basic fact in all of this is that a condom was used. As Matty has indicated they provide very effective protection. And if your mind tells you "what if it broke?," I can tell you that it didn't. Condom failure is not about teensy weensy little holes causing a leak. When a condom breaks there's no doubt about it because it ends up looking like a fringed hula hoop on the guy's penis.

Bottom line is you had protected intercourse. If you are having troubling symptoms that's something to discuss with your doctor. This is NOT an HIV situation. Period. End of story.

Andy Velez

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #5 on: October 14, 2007, 06:19:28 PM »
Thank you Andy, the condom bidn't broke. I'm sure about that. Only afraid because of too much symptoms and the possibility of saliva with traces of blood entering my anus.
Ann told me not to worry about that.
And yes, I know I am with a lot of guilty and scared.

Regards, Lost.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2007, 07:49:11 AM »
Those bits you've added about saliva and blood don't matter. You weren't at risk for HIV in this incident. Really.

You can't undo this piece of your history. You're a dog and you went straying. Take a breath and let it go. That's the best thing you can do for all concerned.
Andy Velez

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2007, 12:54:11 AM »
Thank you Andy, you really know what you're talking about.

"You're a dog and you went straying" ... yes!

Anyway, the constellation of symptoms and timing don't suggest something could have happened ? (even infected on purpose or contaminated lube , etc.?)

(forgot to add I had oral ulcers for 2 days)


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2007, 05:08:33 AM »
There is no such thing as contaminated lube.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2007, 08:03:13 AM »
It doesn't matter what little bits like so-called "contaminated lube" that you throw into your worry mix. You had protected intercourse. You weren't at risk for HIV transmission.

Your were at serious risk only for guilt and shame which you seem to have caught big time. You did what you did. That's a part of your personal history now. Do yourself and everyone else a big favor, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. Guilt is corrosive and it's not a testament to your finer character or repayment for sins.

GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #10 on: October 18, 2007, 12:43:13 PM »
Andy: I found some articles that found high levels of HIV (close to blood viral load)  during PHI (even 6 months after infection).

http://gateway.nlm.nih.gov/MeetingAbstracts/102243432.html
http://www.aegis.org/conferences/CROI/2002/353-M.html


In this case it seems to be a very high risk.



Offline Ann

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #11 on: October 18, 2007, 01:33:00 PM »
lost,

I don't really care what you found on the internet, the fact remains that you did not have a risk during the experience you bring to us. It makes no difference in this instance what the other person's viral load may or may not have been. You didn't do anything to put yourself at risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2007, 10:59:03 PM »
Thank you Ann. Just too worried ans symptomatic....

Andy, what's your opinion about the info I posted?

LostNow.

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2007, 08:00:08 AM »
Lost,

If you're having symptoms, go see your doctor. We cannot diagnose you here.

You did not have a risk for hiv infection and it's time you moved on with your life.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline lostnow

  • Member
  • Posts: 18
Re: Should I test?
« Reply #14 on: October 22, 2007, 04:01:44 PM »
Ann, I think you're right.
Now almost 6 weeks and the sore throat still there, I didn't visit the doctor because I though it to be HIV... but 6 weeks is too much for ARS I think...


Offline Bucko

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    • The Spin Cycle
Re: Should I test?
« Reply #15 on: October 22, 2007, 05:07:59 PM »
No risk means no risk, LostNow. No risk also means no HIV.
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #16 on: October 22, 2007, 05:28:26 PM »
Hi Bucko, thanks for your support.
Yes, I should be more worried about the sore throat for 6 weeks than HIV...

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Should I test?
« Reply #17 on: October 22, 2007, 06:51:30 PM »
Lost,

You didn't have a risk for hiv infection.

Go see your doctor about your throat. It's nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline lostnow

  • Member
  • Posts: 18
Re: Should I test?
« Reply #18 on: October 23, 2007, 04:20:49 AM »

I went to the doctor yesterday because my sore throat isn't getting better after almost 6 weeks! and lymph nodes remain enlarged a bit.

He said it was really strange to have a sore throat for so long, checked my lymph nodes and said they where mobile so it's normal during the course of an infection, he didn't find nodes in the armpits.

He told me to finish my antibiotics because I have already started them  (did that on my own), added some antihistamines, and ordered some analysis for next week when I finish them all.

Hope next week we'll rule out hiv, I'll ask the lab to include it (the doc. is a family friend so I didn't).

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #19 on: October 23, 2007, 04:36:26 AM »
Hope next week we'll rule out hiv, I'll ask the lab to include it (the doc. is a family friend so I didn't).

HIV has already been ruled out. You don't need to test. By all means ask the lab to include it, but don't think we'll let you slip that one past us here.

MtD

Offline lostnow

  • Member
  • Posts: 18
Re: Should I test?
« Reply #20 on: October 24, 2007, 10:01:52 AM »
People, you tell me no risk and to stay away from "I Just tested poz" forum.

Anyway, what I could read in that forum is that a lof of people who feel like me (symptoms that never had before, like me with swollen lymph nodes, edges of lips with something, sore throat, oral ulcers, etc..).

AND a lot of them say they got infected in situations where you would say "No risk" (in a forum which is anonymous, they don't need to lie about it).

I won't get the HIV test yet, I'm pretty sure it will be pos., I need to be ready for it...

Matty, I didn't undertand fully your last post.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #21 on: October 24, 2007, 10:17:48 AM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


You did not have a risk. PERIOD!!!

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #22 on: October 24, 2007, 10:33:35 AM »
Lost,

If you cannot bring yourself to believe us, go test, collect your negative result and move on.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline lostnow

  • Member
  • Posts: 18
Re: Should I test?
« Reply #23 on: October 25, 2007, 03:33:20 AM »
Don't know what happened, something should have happened there I'm infected.

All that's left are my lymph nodes and a sore throat that hurts just because of a lymph node! (i.e. it's not a "normal" sore throat). No antibiotis nor antihistamines could stop it... and it's been there for 6 weeks along with the swelling.

I forgot to mention, about a week after the event I started to have some anal disconfort for a few days (perhaps a STD?)...

Perhaps he didn't use a condom for a while while I didn't see him in the middle of the intercourse?
On the other side he was very carefull at first: when he put a condom on the wrong side, he used another one because he had touched the outside...

Sorry, but can't stop crying, thinking...

in the meanwhile I need some time and spend some with my family and children before I test ...

Sorry for this, but I need to share it with you... I didn't with any other person and because of the timing, the symptoms (not only descripcion but in me swollen nodes never).

I'm not afraid as HIV for my health but for what It will mean to my life and my relation with my family (wife and children). A lot of thing will change for bad, really.

Thank you for your all your support, you did encourage me and gave for moments the hope I needed.

I don't know when I will test... perhaps when I'll stop crying and with a few things "arranged"...


Offline Ann

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #24 on: October 25, 2007, 07:42:19 AM »
Lost,

How many times do we have to tell you that symptoms are meaningless? If you don't trust what happened and can't trust us when we say that condoms prevent hiv transmission, then go test. However, you won't be allowed to use this place as somewhere to go on and on about your symptoms. See your doctor. We are also not a mental health forum. If you need support for your anxiety, you need to see a counselor face to face. We cannot help you with that here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #25 on: October 25, 2007, 07:49:08 AM »
I undestand Ann, sorry for my insistence, it's just the only place where I can talk about this for now, thank you.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #26 on: October 25, 2007, 05:21:32 PM »
Lost, I am responding here although you PM'd me at length. We like to keep the conversations here in the Forums.

You've been repeatedly told you weren't at risk. You've also been advised to get tested just to confirm that. Instead you're wallowing in this obsessive scaring of yourself, all of course without any basis in HIV science.

We've done what we can do for you. We're not endlessly going to go back and forth saying essentially the same things. If you can't get a grip on the emotional aspect of whatever is driving your unfounded fears then you need to see a therapist or other such professional to deal with it. As for your symptoms, that's something to discuss with your doctor.

You're on the verge of getting yourself a time out here.

Andy Velez

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #27 on: October 25, 2007, 07:29:18 PM »
Andy:

Thank you. I did PM'd you because I wanted your opinion about this thread, thank you.

I understand my situation here and your responsibility as moderator.

Just want to thank you all: Ann, MtD, Bucko, RapidRod and of course you.

I'll return here only when I have that negative done and confirm what you told me.

THANK YOU

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #28 on: October 28, 2007, 02:23:26 PM »
OK. Good luck to you, Lost. I expect you to come out of this fine regarding the testing.
Andy Velez

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #29 on: November 07, 2007, 11:46:16 AM »
Went to the doctor and lab today.

The doc. after examining me asked a dlood count, hiv, vdrl, liver functions and others.

I was almost in panic when he ordered the hiv test without asking anything.

My sore throat is still there (changed, feels like a bump where my glands are swollen, not superficial like berofe), so in a few days I'll have a 8 week sore throat! guau!

Well, I'll have the results for the wbc tomorrow and hiv on friday, I'm going on vacation on friday so I will search for a doc. who can do a rapid test today or tomorrow.

I would like to confirm my status before vacations so I won´t have sex with my wife if it's pos.

Can't buy rapid test for personal use here, only some docs have it.

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #30 on: November 07, 2007, 06:40:19 PM »
Coudn't find the doc today.
Do you think I'll test neg after all my updates?
In my mind I feel better just because I went to the lab
 Send me good luck!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #31 on: November 07, 2007, 06:43:50 PM »
Your result is NOT going to be positive and I expect you will be able to have a swell intimate vacation with your wife. Yes, I do.

Your result can't be other than negative because you didn't have a risk.

This is all about post-straying guilt. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #32 on: November 07, 2007, 07:00:44 PM »
I know I'm in guilty-mode right now.
But that didn't swollen my glands and other symptoms for sure Andy.
Feeling like my worries "come ang go", feeling very "bipolar"


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #33 on: November 07, 2007, 07:50:24 PM »
Physical symptoms should always be checked out medically.

But you also should be aware that stress unquestionable affects the immune system adversely and all kinds of symptoms can follow. 

Whatever is going on still ain't about HIV, bi-polar, shmi-polar. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #34 on: November 08, 2007, 07:16:20 PM »
Today I had my results of WBC, tomorrow the hiv result will be ready.

Everything normal except:
microcitosis (anemia)

I read anemia may be a laboratory finding during PHI, I'm terrified! Not only symptoms buy laboratory clues!

It will be a long night...

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #35 on: November 08, 2007, 09:45:20 PM »
Your HIV result will be negative.

Anaemia is not a symptom of anything other than a lack of red blood cells. This rot has gone on long enough.

You've been reported.

MtD

Offline anniebc

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #36 on: November 09, 2007, 02:29:02 AM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

As of now you are on a 28 day TO.

Jan
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Offline lostnow

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Re: Should I test?
« Reply #37 on: December 20, 2007, 12:05:25 AM »
As everyone here told me, my 8 week test was negative (it was more than a month ago).

Thank you all again, you really helped me those days. Thank you.

 


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