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Author Topic: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas  (Read 1927 times)

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Offline gemini20

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Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« on: December 24, 2007, 01:05:49 PM »
I wanted to send out a thought to all those who, like me, will be spending Christmas alone.

It can be quite emotionally draining at this time of year hearing about other people's plans to be with partners, family or friends. It's good to know that so many people have support at this time but I just wanted to acknowledge that there are many who don't have anyone and the holidays can make that feeling of being alone even more acute.

I'm lucky in many ways I suppose because my spiritual belief allows me to know that while I may be physically alone over the next few days I have plenty of friends and loved ones who have died who I can connect to and their presence around me brings me a great deal of comfort and joy.

‘Visits’ from those in spirit can often come via dreams and as I expect to spend a great deal of time asleep or at least dozing in bed due to not being well at the moment, I hope to have plenty of ‘company’ over the holidays.

Best wishes to everyone at this time,

Diagnosed 11th September 1991
Current CD4 count 484 (26%); viral load undetectable (December 2011).
Restarting boosted Prezista 08/04/11

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2007, 01:12:58 PM »
...and some who are thinking of you are still here on the planet, Emma. Enjoy the days however you spend them.

Hugs and cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline hartiepie

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  • Posts: 94
Re: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2007, 01:33:50 PM »
What a great post for me to read today. My partner of 23 years died on Xmas 2 yrs ago and my brother also died of AIDS on Thanksgiving (21 yrs ago). Holidays have taken on a different meaning for me than before!

As I have read in many other threads, I agree that there are worse things than being alone. Even so, I find myself lonely sometimes, and questioning in many things about myself and society this time of year.

I am usually a lurker on these boards, but I still read them a lot and really rely on knowing that there are people like me out there struggling and enjoying life too.

Happy holidays!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2007, 02:00:01 PM »
I usually am alone but this year seems to be different. I have a room mate and my dysfunctional family has invited me to a family affair. But I agree with you that my loved ones who are no longer here will be peeking in as well.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline bear60

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Re: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2007, 03:37:46 PM »
I know that all of our friends who have "passed on" had a hand in decorating our tree this year.
I wish you a peace-filled Christmas.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline sweetasmeli

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  • Love what you are...
Re: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2007, 03:48:28 PM »
Sorry to hear you're not well, Emma; hope you feel better soon. Sending you lots of love and healing hugs.

Debra xxx
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline ademas

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Re: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2007, 04:34:30 PM »
I hear you loud and clear, Emma.
Peace and best wishes,

Offline englishgirl

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Re: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« Reply #7 on: December 24, 2007, 05:37:00 PM »
dearest emma, and also anyone else who is either alone or feeling alone at this time, love and hugs to you. please treat yourself today/tomorrow - you deserve it.

to those of you who are missing loved ones from your side this christmas, i hope you can enjoy some happy reflections to help you through the missing them. lots of love.

also, i am thinking of those of you who have to be social or have guests at this time of year when you really want to be alone or be somewhere else. i hope that it isnt as bad as you think it's going to be!

love to all


"I'm not keen on the idea of the afterlife - not without knowing who else will be there and what the entertainment will be. Personally I'd rather just take a rest." Oscar Berger, PWA: Looking AIDS in the Face, 1996. RIP.

Offline BT65

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Re: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2007, 08:32:54 PM »
Emma, this will be my first Christmas without my mum.  I miss her very much, but I know she still sees me and watches out for me. 

I hope you get to feeling better.  Sending you a lot of {{{PEACE}}} and {{{HUGS}}}!

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline joemutt

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Re: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2007, 07:06:36 AM »
That's a very beautiful posting, Emma. This year I was alone but I didnt feel lonely,
maybe the knowledge of knowing that there are many others (here) in the same boat,
in a few days my friends will return from Cambodia.
I started cleaning and decorating on Xmas eve and I was so tired I didnt get to eat my
Xmas meal, so I'll have it tonight. As usual a lot of thoughts for everyone on the other side of the universe,
I just look at my fairy godmother'picture, she now roams another galaxy and it really comforts me.
She smiles as if she encourages me.
I used to get down from the excessive and hollow cellebrating and tinsel here in Bangkok
(a buddhist town) but now I see it as surreal, kitsch and an expression of emptiness.

I want to join and wish everyone a peaceful time.

Offline northernguy

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  • Posts: 1,347
Re: Alone (or maybe not) this Christmas
« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2007, 02:02:06 PM »
And as sappy as it sounds, we are here with each other out in cyberland!  the older I get, the more tempted I am to leave town just before Xmas and return after New Year's.  Its all too draining.
Apr 28/06 cd4 600 vl 10,600 cd% 25
Nov 8/09 cd4 510 vl 49,5000 cd% 16
Jan 16/10 cd4 660 vl 54,309 cd% 16
Feb 17/10 Started Atripla
Mar 7/10 cd4 710 vl 1,076 cd% 21
Apr 18/10 cd4 920 vl 268 cd% 28
Jun 19/10 cd4 450 vl 60 cd% 25
Aug 15/10 cd4 680 vl 205 cd% 27
Apr 3/11 cd4 780 vl <40 cd% 30
Jul 17/11 cd4 960 vl <40 cd%33
April 15/12 cd4 1,010 vl <40 cd% 39
April 20/12 Switched to Viramune + Truvada
Aug 2/12 cd4 1040, vl <40, cd% 38
Oct 19 cd4 1,110 vl <40 cd% 41


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