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Author Topic: On Having Been Absent Lately  (Read 4116 times)

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Offline Lisa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,240
  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
On Having Been Absent Lately
« on: November 28, 2007, 09:18:47 PM »
I have not fallen off of the planet friends, but have been quite consumed with the care of my little Sweetie.
Some months ago, I confirmed that she had a pancreatic tumor. The vet proffered the use of Prednisone to keep her blood glucose levels elevated to avoid crises. I was prepared for the confirmation, as I had done extensive research, but was thrown a curve ball after coming back from Frisco. I had read of Adrenal gland tumors/cancer, but was un-aware that it went hand in hand with the pancreatic tumor.
My beautiful little friend is losing all of her down fur. Her back and flanks are now only sparsely covered with her outer course hair.
She is weak, and it only takes but a few minutes of the pre-requisite shivering to raise her body temp, to wear out her energy reserves.
She has always been an independant sort of girl, preferring to nest in a private place away from humans, but has lately been so sweetly willing to snuggle next to momma under the gentle fleece of the warming blanket.
These are the moments I cherish so much.
She is sure to pass in a measure of time. I don't know, and it is probably best I not.
I just know it is soon. I cannot quantify the when, just that it will not be long.
As much as I love all of you here, it will be her passing that will finally break my heart. Such is my love for her.
Oh if we could only love each other in such a way.
Anyway, just telling you all why. I really don't know if I have the strength for this, but I know she will be loved and taken care of to her final moments.
I would it were that I had such an assurance.
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 5,955
  • AM member since 2003
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2007, 09:26:20 PM »
Oh Lisa I'm so sorry to hear this I know how precious she is to you.. I know you will want to spend as much time with her as possible..and you know we will still be here when you need us..sweetie is more important than we are right now..I can certainly relate to that.


love and warm (((hugs))) from your friend in NZ.
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline thunter34

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  • Posts: 7,318
  • His name is Carl.
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2007, 09:28:42 PM »
Bless you, Jan.  I was sitting here without words.  Lisa, what Jan said...down to the letter.  Take care of your sweetie and yourself.  We'll be here.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Lisa

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  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2007, 09:34:00 PM »
Thank you both so much. I am certain that this was by far, the most difficult post I have ever written.
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2007, 09:41:42 PM »
I'm sorry to hear that Lisa.  I actually thought of you last night and that you'd not been around the board very much.  I know too well the trauma of a very sick, dear pet.  Nothing makes it easier unfortunately.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline David_CA

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  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2007, 10:09:32 PM »
Lisa,

I'd also been wondering about you.  I wish I could give as much comfort to you about Sweetie as you do to so many of us.  Both of you are in my thoughts.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

  • Member
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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2007, 10:22:39 PM »
Lisa, I'm so sorry.  I have been wondering where you've been as well.  So many of us are so attached to our little 4-legged friends.  I know how sad you must be feeling.  Just keep little Sweetie warm and keep giving her all the love you can.

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Nico

  • Member
  • Posts: 262
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2007, 10:30:42 PM »
Lisa,
I remember my big hug in SF from you.  Take care of Sweetie and cherish each moment.  Lance and I went through this with Bandit.  Cherish the love Sweetie gives back and you return.  I know personally what you are going though. 

Love and peace.
Rog
Poz since 1990.

Offline Jeffreyj

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  • Posts: 1,403
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2007, 12:20:05 AM »
Hug
Positive since 1985

Offline Mouse

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,463
  • Om nom nom.
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2007, 12:30:46 AM »
I'm so sorry, Lisa. You know I understand.

You do the best you can for them and it's tempting to feel as though you failed in some way, but she has the best mommy she could ever hope for. She loves you as much as you love her and she understands how hard you're trying. Just be there for her as best as you can. That's the best thing you can do for her right now. Comfort her and let her know you're there. But, of course, I don't have to tell you that.

Give Sweetie my love.

Offline paolo10954

  • Member
  • Posts: 57
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2007, 01:03:12 AM »
Hi Lisa,

If there's a way to give you the same warm and loving hug you gave me in SF right now, you know I would. You know you're in my thoughts.

Paolo
jun03     hiv negative
dec03     tested positive
mar05     cd4 698  vl 23221 no meds
jul05       cd4 660  vl 2962 no meds
dec05     cd4 553  vl 5412 no meds
mar06     cd4 610  vl 3158 no meds
june06    cd4 523  vl 3924 no meds
dec06     cd4 616  vl 1236 no meds
march07  cd4 536  vl 1331 no meds
june07    cd4 486  vl   820 no meds
sept07     cd4 576  vl  380  no meds
aug08     cd4 530  vl 1725 no meds
april09    cd4 428  vl  1059 no meds
july09     cd4 511  vl   533 no meds
jan10      cd4 380  vl  1200 no meds
mar10     cd4 262  vl  2389 no meds
april28, 2010 started on Isentress and Truvada
july10     cd4 340  vl undetectable
nov10     cd4 431  vl undetectable
march11  cd4 350  vl undetectable

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,649
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2007, 01:47:30 AM »
we all love our little creatures, don't we? 

Lisa, you and Sweetie are in our hearts.....

robert
..........

Offline StrongGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 492
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #12 on: November 29, 2007, 03:18:03 AM »
Wishing you lots of strength...watching our pets in pain is some of the worst kind of heartache.

Glad to see you back here, though wish it was under better circumstances...



"Get your medical advice from Doctors or medical professionals who you trust and know your history."

"Beware of the fortune teller doom and gloomers who seek to bring you down and are only looking for company, purpose and validation - not your best physical/mental interests."

"You know you all are saying that this is incurable. When the real thing you should be saying is it's not curable at the present time' because as we know, the great strides we've made in medicine." - Elizabeth Edwards

Offline lucas clay

  • Member
  • Posts: 518
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #13 on: November 29, 2007, 03:53:27 AM »
Lucas will always tell you they are not pets they are family members.
Times like these are heart breaking, cuddle and comfort her Lisa.

                                             much love
                                                           Lucas

Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #14 on: November 29, 2007, 04:18:23 AM »
Lisa, a couple of days ago I was reading your Blogs in which you announced Sweetie's troubles. So sorry it has come to this so soon. I know you will be the support for her in her transition from this earthy plane. God Bless you and Sweetie in this difficult time.
 :(
Mike M

Offline Nadine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #15 on: November 29, 2007, 07:17:00 AM »
Dear Lisa...I am so sorry to hear about Sweetie. 

We are all thinking of both of you  :-* 

(((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #16 on: November 29, 2007, 10:38:43 AM »
Oh gosh. Lisa honey, you are in my thoughts. Take care of yourself now, you hear.?  :-*
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #17 on: November 29, 2007, 11:05:28 AM »
SO sorry to hear about Sweetie.

BIG HUGS
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #18 on: November 29, 2007, 11:07:34 AM »
{{{{{{{{{{{{{LISA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry to hear about Sweetie. I know how precious she is to you & i will keep you both in my thoughts.
Like Jan said, we will be here when you need us.

Love,

Dan

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #19 on: November 29, 2007, 07:19:33 PM »
You and Sweetie are  in my thoughts.... :-*
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #20 on: November 29, 2007, 07:27:34 PM »
Sweetest Keep of Weasels,

The Damned One keeps you in his thoughts.

:-*

MtD

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,644
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #21 on: November 29, 2007, 11:30:09 PM »
Lisa, my dear "sister".....I am so sorry.   My prayer is that the remainder of her days are good ones, and that she goes in peace.

All my love to you, and to your precious Sweetie.   Because she is so precious to you, she is so very precious to me.

Love,

Alan  :'(

PS - Fang sends kitty kat kisses
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #22 on: November 30, 2007, 09:36:13 AM »
Lisa,

I knew something was going on but didn't realize it was this.  My thoughts are with you right now as I know how much sweetie means to you.

 :-*

Offline Alain

  • Member
  • Posts: 680
  • I am.
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #23 on: November 30, 2007, 09:40:06 AM »
{{{{Lisa}}}} :-* :-*

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #24 on: November 30, 2007, 09:42:12 AM »
I'm sorry to hear this twin.  At least the little one is in good hands. 

 :-*

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,201
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #25 on: November 30, 2007, 10:02:18 AM »
Lisa, it's always good to hear from you, even as it's very sad to learn about Sweetie's health. What a heartbreak.

Thinking of you and wishing you both well.

Hugs, 
Andy Velez

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #26 on: November 30, 2007, 11:03:45 AM »
Lisa...  My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. 
Do what you must and return to us when you can........

{{{BIG HUG}}} :-* :-* :-*
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,260
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #27 on: December 01, 2007, 03:24:28 PM »
Hello Lisa,


Just want you to know that I've been thinking about you. So sorry to hear about sweetie, she has you by her side !! It's difficult to deal with....I understand ...


((((Hugs to you and sweetie)))------Ray


Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #28 on: December 01, 2007, 03:56:10 PM »
Wow, Lisa, I'm amazed I missed this thread - I'm sorry!

Sweetie might appreciate a hotwater bottle or similar, wrapped in a fleecy blanket, during times when you can't be cuddling her.

I'll be keeping you both in my thoughts.

Warm, furry hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Joe K

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  • Member
  • Posts: 3,848
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #29 on: December 01, 2007, 06:22:39 PM »
Hello My Sweets,

There are no words that can truly comfort you, but let me try.  Please remember that you have been Sweeties entire world for years and as hard as it may be for you, all Sweetie needs now is your love, so that when she finally passes, she will draw her last breath, knowing that she was always safe in your hands and will always reside in your heart.

My heart aches for you both, stay well.

Offline BT65

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  • Member
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Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #30 on: December 02, 2007, 07:58:39 PM »
{{{{{{{{{{HUGS FOR LISA AND SWEETIE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. :-* :-*  (A kiss for each of you)
Peace-
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline manchesteruk

  • Member
  • Posts: 631
Re: On Having Been Absent Lately
« Reply #31 on: December 03, 2007, 06:47:43 PM »
Sorry to hear about Sweetie, Lisa  :(
Diagnosed 11/05

"Life is too important to be taken seriously" Oscar Wilde

 


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