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Author Topic: Converting...  (Read 6907 times)

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Offline 404error

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Converting...
« on: December 02, 2007, 11:00:49 PM »
I'm proud to be from Canada and think this is a great country.  It's clean, the people are friendly (especially if you aren't in Vancouver), there's a ton of space, lots of camping, fishing, hiking, and skiing you can do.  All kinds of hockey you can watch either on TV or live.  The beer is drinkable and the bud is plentiful.  The problem is, it's just too damn cold here!  I seriously don't think anyone was meant to live in a place where you can't wear shorts and a t-shirt year round.  I've been trying to find any loophole possible to live somewhere better.  I could apply for an ancestry visa and live in the UK but it's no better there than it is here in terms of weather.  My only other option it seems is to convert to Judaism and get me some sweet Israeli citizenship.  I don't care about Christmas or Easter so I don't feel like I'd be leaving much behind there.  I like bacon but think I could just say no.  I don't need to eat shellfish or dairy mixed with meats.  What I do need is to live somewhere warm.  I wonder if they'd make me get circumsized?  That'd be embarrassing, having a bris at nearly 30 years of age...
A social critic who promotes equality...

Offline dgr20002

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2007, 11:23:57 PM »
"That'd be embarrassing, having a bris at nearly 30 years of age..."

This really made me LOL

David

Offline 404error

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #2 on: December 03, 2007, 12:02:34 AM »

My hometown


Tel Aviv


Eilat


My current locale (in "tropical" Canada)
« Last Edit: December 03, 2007, 12:07:59 AM by 404error »
A social critic who promotes equality...

Offline swede_dish

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2007, 02:54:21 AM »
Hahah as a south african Israeli jew living in Michigan I feel your pain.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline 404error

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2007, 03:07:23 PM »
Wow, you can choose between South Africa or Israel and you're still in America?  My god!  I would have been outta there as soon as I turned 18.  Especially Michigan.  I've only been to Detriot, Livonia, and Sault Ste. Marie but it seemed like a total hole, Detroit in particular.
A social critic who promotes equality...

Offline bryonut

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2007, 03:20:29 PM »
I thought people converted to Judaism for the jokes.

bry
a utah jew

Offline BT65

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2007, 06:49:01 PM »
I'm from Michigan, now live in Indiana.  I really don't like the cold, but I do like having a white Christmas.  My parents are both from Detroit (mum passed this year) and I guess back in their day it was a real party town.  My father met Frank Sinatra at one of the local hot spots.  The last time I was in Detroit was in the middle 80's for the state fair.  I didn't stay that long before I wanted out of there. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline 404error

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2007, 06:51:43 PM »
I've only been to Detroit to eat Mexican food.  I went to this place just across the river from Windsor and loved the drive through the ghetto.  There is no ghetto anywhere in Canada like the ghetto I saw there.  The mexican food was outstanding though and the Dos Equis was dirt cheap!
« Last Edit: December 03, 2007, 06:54:45 PM by 404error »
A social critic who promotes equality...

Offline bear60

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2007, 07:41:53 PM »
Before my first visit to Canada I thought all Canadians wore jeans and flannel and were lumberjacks.  Imagine my surprise when I visited Toronto and Montreal and found out differently.  ;D
I would live in Montreal. Oh yea.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2007, 07:59:54 PM »
Can't you get that UK visa and then move to Anguilla -- isn't it a UK territory like Montserrat?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline 404error

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2007, 08:10:20 PM »
I could but I'd have to live in England for 4 years before I'd be able to apply for citizenship. 
A social critic who promotes equality...

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #11 on: December 03, 2007, 08:39:54 PM »
oh well... looks like you're stuck.  you need to fake some gay marriage thingie in Holland and move to Suriname, thought it's a dump
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline fearless

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2007, 10:12:35 PM »
I agree with you about shorts and t-shirt. Anything below 18 C and I'm freezing my arse off. I don't do cold weather if I can help it.

I often wonder how civilisation ever took hold in northern Europe and Russia. You think it is damn cold now, imagine what it was like before the days of central heating etc.

Unfortunately, we don't like letting your kind emigrate down here. Not impossible but damn difficult.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2007, 10:16:02 PM by fearless »
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Jody

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2007, 10:38:28 PM »
I guess man originally was centered in the middle east and as we moved further away it become a much different life...Canada, Scandinavia, Russia, those places are unforgiveable in wintertime...I know New York City is too cold for me in the winter, those places must be incredible, although modern clothing and heat make it more liveable.

404...I don't know if it is that easy to just move to Israel...First off there is a constant threat of being annihilated by its enemies...Second I don't think they just let anyone immigrate there for the weather...Converting to Judaism is not as easy as all that, if your mother is not Jewish it is arduous at best I believe.

Second, you don't have to keep Kosher to be Jewish, I'm Jewish and I eat bacon and eggs and if someone doesn't like it too bad  ;)  But I do like my guys circumsized, I must admit someone had the right idea there in my book!!!

Jody  :)
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 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #14 on: December 03, 2007, 10:49:36 PM »
Unfortunately, we don't like letting your kind emigrate down here. Not impossible but damn difficult.

Ja, gotta keep those friggin canadians out.

MtD

Offline minismom

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2007, 11:26:45 PM »
Dh and I used to live in south louisiana.  When DH first moved to the states, he lived in new orleans.  It stays hot there year 'round.  And, I hear there's tons of cheap realestate.

mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline 404error

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #16 on: December 04, 2007, 03:12:28 AM »
Quote
oh well... looks like you're stuck.  you need to fake some gay marriage thingie in Holland and move to Suriname

but I want to marry a woman and a really good looking one at that.  I suppose if I were forced to compromise and it was for the sake of me gaining citizenship to a warmer climate I could go as far as a very sexy, very passable, post-op MTF girl with no adams apple, man hands or big feet.

Quote
Unfortunately, we don't like letting your kind emigrate down here. Not impossible but damn difficult.

I don't know.   I've had a few quality run ins with a couple of fine Sheilas and they seemed to have no problem with Canadian men...
« Last Edit: December 04, 2007, 03:20:11 AM by 404error »
A social critic who promotes equality...

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #17 on: December 04, 2007, 04:21:20 AM »
You can't get residency in Israel if you are poz.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #18 on: December 04, 2007, 04:40:26 AM »
Hey Dragon,

Does that negate the Right of Return for poz jews?

MtD

Offline 404error

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #19 on: December 04, 2007, 04:42:43 AM »
weak.  I wonder if I can become a mail order husband then, perhaps to some Brazilian woman?

Quote
Does that negate the Right of Return for poz jews?

It does, I just looked it up.  I never would have imagined Jews would discriminate against other Jews wishing to return to the homeland, that's why I came up with the whole converting to Judaism thing in the first place.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2007, 04:45:09 AM by 404error »
A social critic who promotes equality...

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #20 on: December 04, 2007, 04:49:28 AM »
Hey Matty,

I am not sure. There might be exceptions. Like if someone moved to Israel when they were young, served in the army, left again and wants to come back [I hope so for the sake of a friend]. Or maybe if most of their family is already in Israel.

Poz Jews have been brought to Israel over the years, esp from Ethiopia  & ex USSR. That is why HIV is stupidly stigmatized as a foriegner disease.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #21 on: December 04, 2007, 04:51:08 AM »
I never would have imagined Jews would discriminate against other Jews wishing to return to the homeland

I would never imagine that Jews could become racist in general or that poz people would argue against giving healthcare to those in need, but there you go...
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #22 on: December 04, 2007, 05:00:54 AM »
Hey Dragon,

Cheers for that!

Up,

I don't think you can just "convert" to judaism.

MtD

Offline 404error

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #23 on: December 04, 2007, 05:15:20 AM »
Quote
I don't think you can just "convert" to judaism.

Certainly not now seeing as it doesn't include citizenship to a tropical country.  But it is possible, it just takes time and dedication.
A social critic who promotes equality...

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #24 on: December 04, 2007, 05:36:16 AM »
Up (how did you convert into Error?)

you are right that you can convert to Judaism. it's a pain in the butt drawn out process though and judging from what I already know about you, you are not going to enjoy spending long months in an ultra orthodox and exclusively male environment, sleeping in dormitories and getting up at the crack of dawn to pray and start a long day of studying ancient texts while moving back and forth on your heels. But anyway, Israel is not that tropical, more medeterranian (or however you spell that) and you can get the nice weather but without all the screaming kids you see in that beach picture in other places too that are in the EU like greece, spain, portugal.

gotta go meet my boss now  :-\

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline vokz

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #25 on: December 04, 2007, 06:17:30 AM »
Cold winters and snow (along with coming home to a roaring log fire) in the wilds of Saskatchewan are as close to heaven as I have ever been (and, as far as I am concerned, one of the principal benefits of being a dual Canadian citizen).

Offline Grasshopper

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #26 on: December 04, 2007, 07:42:28 AM »
oh well... looks like you're stuck.  you need to fake some gay marriage thingie in Holland and move to Suriname, thought it's a dump

That duck won't fly; Suriname became independant on nov 25th 1975. Dutch citizens need a visa to visit Suriname.

Next option would be the Netherlands Antilles. By law all dutch marriages must to be honoured despite some local resistance.
Great place to visit, will be visiting for a month dec 31 to escape the cold here in holland

Offline pozattitude

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #27 on: December 04, 2007, 11:54:48 AM »
I'm Jewish and I eat bacon and eggs and if someone doesn't like it too bad  ;) 
Jody  :)

you must be one of those reformed ones...LOL....

Rich
(who is 1/2 jew [the 1/2 that counts since his mommy is a jew] but believes in nothing religious)
POSITIVE PEDALERS... We are a group of people living with HIV/AIDS, eliminating stigma through our positive public example.

Offline manchesteruk

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #28 on: December 05, 2007, 05:17:10 PM »
I'd swap places with you tomorrow!  I'm a bit strange though I love cold weather.  I really want to go and visit Canada at some point it looks like an amazing country to me.
Diagnosed 11/05

"Life is too important to be taken seriously" Oscar Wilde

Offline 404error

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #29 on: December 05, 2007, 05:35:02 PM »
Dude if we could switch places I would gladly give you all my Canadian documentation in exchange for a British Passport.  Hello EU!
A social critic who promotes equality...

Offline fearless

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #30 on: December 05, 2007, 08:40:01 PM »
It's looking like your only hope is for global warming to really kick in.
Canada may yet become that tropical paradise you so yearn for.
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline 404error

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #31 on: December 06, 2007, 02:11:04 AM »
when global warming kicks in Canada is going to become a life raft to the developing world.
A social critic who promotes equality...

Offline minismom

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #32 on: December 06, 2007, 04:41:42 PM »
Have you ever thought of Honduras?  It's not a bad place if you dont' mind washing clothes outside, lack of indoor plumbing, no air conditioners,  risking death in Taxis, "police" walking the streets with AK47's, Vodka in the ketchup (long story), water being turned off every time it rains ( I don't suggest you drink the water), public buses with goats and chickens on them, afternoon siestas (yes, everything closes) parks with alligators, masquitoes with malaria, oh, yeah, and not very sanitary looking medical clinics.  But, they have great bay islands (I recommend Roatan), Burger King, Pizza Hut, Subway, and it NEVER gets cold.

Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline 404error

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Re: Converting...
« Reply #33 on: December 06, 2007, 04:46:20 PM »
I guess Brazil is my next best option.  Warm weather, hot ladies, good access to HIV meds, nice beaches, and laid back attitudes.  Ahhh Brazil.
A social critic who promotes equality...

 


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