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Author Topic: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?  (Read 8368 times)

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Offline needadviceplease12345

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Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« on: November 28, 2007, 08:54:40 AM »
Hello Great site and thanks for letting me join, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 12 years and for the first time 3 weeks ago I made a mistake. I let a girl perform unprotected oral sex on me, here are the details. we deep kissed and she them performed oral sex on me, It lasted about 10 minutes and there were some deep throating involved, After she had finished I noticed she had a small amount of blood on her lip, she had a small cut on her gum, I did see a slight red mark at the bottom of my penis but I could not find any cuts or nicks on my penis, I have been feeling quite ill recently, headacre, sorethroat, tired, this could be down to worry as its been on my mind for the last 3 weeks, the girl had brown teeth and did not look like she had great oral health, we both had a cold at the time also to begin with she had a very dry mouth and no saliva due to here cold and cough, and presuming she is hiv+ I have a few questions. I have searched the net and found conflicting information, so I thought I would pop in for your advice. I am very very worried about this.

1. Do I need testing after this incident.
2. What are the chances I acquired hiv from this.
3. why is there so much conflicting information around this.
4. Do you need a lot of blood the infect someone with hiv.

Thank you for any comments.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2007, 09:03:46 AM by needadviceplease12345 »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2007, 09:04:00 AM »
Don't double post. You did not have a risk from getting a blowjob.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2007, 09:04:32 AM »
None of the activities you have mentioned put you at any risk for HIV transmission. In the entire history of the epidemic no guy has ever become infected from getting a blowjob. You aren't going to make history by becoming the first. Including your spots and any of the other details.

I deleted your second post.

There's no need to get tested in relation to this incident.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2007, 02:00:06 PM »
Cheers for the answers and sorry for double posting it was a mistake., is this the general answer "no risk", or does it depend on the circumstances, like I say there was blood present, does the "no risk" still apply? I have looked at a couple of threads and some users state that the we infected by oral sex, some websites say there has been no cases of hiv have been reported by getting a blowjob, yet so websites state 1 in 20000, now if nobody has been infected that way and considering the millions of blowjobs that occurs should this be 1 in 10000000 or something where do the numbers come from?

but just going back to my situation, should I forget about and get on with my life, its affecting me at the minute.

Andy what spots are you referring too?

Thank you for replying
« Last Edit: November 28, 2007, 02:03:40 PM by needadviceplease12345 »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2007, 02:02:23 PM »
That's what you get for reading where you have no business reading. You've been given the facts. You were never at any risk. Yes, you should get on with your life.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2007, 02:43:47 PM »
I was referring to the "red mark" you mentioned on your penis. It was also an umbrella remark for all of the various you were throwing into the worry mix.

You STILL weren't at risk. Be happy and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2007, 03:24:08 PM »
Andy the red mark was actually blood from the mouth of the person who performed the oral sex on me, I know that cuts + fresh blood must increase the risk and knowing the lack of saliva and the fact that she had a cold and bunged-up nose, would it be possible at all to blow blood down my penis as she could not breathe through her nose. And would there need to be a small amount of blood or large amount to cause a risk?

thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2007, 03:30:05 PM »
A blowjob consists of sucking not blowing and she couldn't get air out of your penis. You didn't have a risk.

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2007, 04:04:01 PM »
Hi RapidRod, I mean could the person performing the oral sex blow contaminated blood down in to my penis, not suck air out. I dont understand how the virus is passed on, sorry for any lack of understanding.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #9 on: November 28, 2007, 04:15:21 PM »
It wouldn't matter if she had a little blood, saliva inhibits HIV from infecting. If there were a chance that you were at risk we would have advised you so.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2007, 09:01:26 PM »
Read our lesson on Transmission. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

In the entire epidemic there's never been a confirmed case of transmission to a guy getting a blowjob. It's safe to say you're not going to make history by becoming the first. HIV is a fragile virus which requires a very receptive setting and via getting a blowjob does not provide that.
Andy Velez

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2007, 11:32:25 AM »
Today I have come down with a headacre, tiredness and mussel pain and acre and its day 21, Am I overreacting here?

Offline thunter34

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #12 on: November 29, 2007, 11:38:24 AM »
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #13 on: November 29, 2007, 11:54:25 AM »
Yes, you are worrying needlessly. Re-read what has already been said to you. Just because you continue to have any kind of bodily reactions, which happen all the time by the way, doesn't change the basic fact that you were not at risk for HIV transmission in the incident you are concerned about. Zero risk. Period. End of story.
Andy Velez

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2007, 04:28:51 AM »
Are the following a sign or early hiv infection, pain in all fingers,as well as pins and needles, Headacre, very tired, and a white coating on my tongue at 17 days.

When you say no one has ever got hiv through a blowjob why people say they have? and most websites say you can get hiv this way?

It appears the girl who performed oral sex on me is hiv+ and there was some blood present so do you suggest I get tested now I know her status?

Cheers

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2007, 04:40:59 AM »
Need,

We have explained to you that symptoms are not an indicator of HIV infection. Risk behaviours are and you haven't been at risk. Getting a headjob is not a risk for HIV infection.

Why do other websites say that getting a headjob is a risk? Well because they're wrong. We're right. AIDSmeds is the leading HIV/AIDS website on the internet. Our information is based solidly in science and we've never been wrong about this stuff.

MtD

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2007, 09:21:53 AM »
A few more questions need answering for my benefit and others

1. So the chance of getting hiv from a blowjob with no condom is zero?
2. Does it make any difference if blood is present?
3. If someone claimed to have been infected this way they are not telling the truth.
4. I am worrying over nothing?
5. why do no websites say you will not get infected from getting a blowjob?
6. How Long to symptoms start after exposure to hiv?
7. Does it matter about the style in which the blowjob is performed, can infected fluid be pumped down the penis?
8. Do you need a large amount of infected blood to become infected, or a small amount?

Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2007, 09:46:03 AM »
OK, I'm at the end of the line with this situation.

You aren't listening. Your questions have been thoroughly answered regarding the non-risk of getting a blowjob. All of the details which you continue to throw into the mix don't change the fact that getting head is not a risk for HIV transmission. Period.

Read the lesson on Transmission for any further information.

You've reached the point where you may get yourself a Time Out for coming back again and again with essentially the same questions about the same situation which has already been responded to.

It's your anxiety you need to address and not any risk for HIV, because you didn't have a risk. 
Andy Velez

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2007, 10:47:05 AM »
Sorry Andy,Yes I have been very worried over this incident, and what has not helped is reading hundreds of websites BEFORE I found this site, A month a go I knew very little about hiv, now it has opened my eyes and I am know well aware of it, so its not all bad, I think people who are educated regarding hiv will have better understanding and will be aware of the risks involved and, a month ago if anyone had asked me this question, Can you get HIV from receptive oral sex, I would of said yes definitely, this is what is drilled in to people from an early age (from different sources) and judging by the responce I have of you guys which I appreciate by the way, I have learnt something new. I still am amazed that getting a blowjob is safe even if there is blood present but I guess your the experts on here and I have 3 weeks worth of mixed knowledge and properly most of you on here have 25+ years knowledge, I also think its great that people have forums where they can turn too for advice and help, so like I say sorry for so many questions.

Cheers

Offline Ann

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2007, 10:51:36 AM »
need,

NEVER ONCE in my life have I seen someone claim to have been infected through RECEIVING (sometimes called insertive) blowjobs. Some people claim to have been infected this way through GIVING (sometimes called receptive - because the person is receiving the penis into their mouth) blowjobs.

Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

As for blood being present, unless you're in the habit of punching people in the mouth right before they give you head, then you're worrying needlessly.

You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection. Get blown all you like; you won't become hiv positive through this activity.

Ann
« Last Edit: November 30, 2007, 10:54:08 AM by Ann »
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #20 on: December 02, 2007, 07:22:16 AM »
Hi Ann, I found this on the web, I take it they are giving out the wrong information here?

http://www.youandaids.org/Consultation%20Room/index.asp?Category=1&ParentCategory=0

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #21 on: December 02, 2007, 08:01:27 AM »
Yes, they are giving out false information.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #22 on: December 02, 2007, 09:30:17 AM »
...and if you continue searching the web for more ammo to fuel your worst fears with, believe me you will find them. We're not here to answer each and every one of those you come up with.

If you come back with more of this stuff you will get a 30 day time out. It's way past time to call a halt with this drama you're indulging in.
Andy Velez

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #23 on: December 02, 2007, 11:34:34 AM »
I am very sorry Andy, Ann told me I had a zero risk, your correct I need to stop surfing the net, its is fueling my fears, just before I go will someone explain to me one last thing, when does something become a documented case, if someone goes in to a clinic for a hiv test and they say the only exposure was what ever........and they then test positive, does this make it a documented case? or can only a scientist make it documented case?

Cheers

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #24 on: December 04, 2007, 03:28:23 PM »
Hi Ann or any experts who can answer, I have read on another thread that hiv does not like being outside the human body, but please answer my question before I go, If I am receiving a blowjob and the person performing the blowjob on me has blood in the mouth but does not take her mouth off my penis meaning its an enclosed environment, could hiv survive long enough inside the mouth because it is not exposed to air and the temperature must be quite steady, reason I ask is if someones vagina is bleeding, in theory its outside the body, but surrounded by air but people can become infected this way, also please would you care to answer the above question as well, what is a documented case, I asked a couple of days ago, please do not give me timeout for these questions they are for future reference as well so I can know what I need to know to avoid the virus.

Thank you for providing the information you have already, it is much appreciated.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2007, 03:57:23 PM by needadviceplease12345 »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #25 on: December 04, 2007, 04:35:34 PM »
Ann has already addressed this issue with you when she noted:

Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #26 on: December 04, 2007, 05:01:46 PM »
Variations on this "last" question have already been answered. It doesn't matter if the person sucking your penis has blood in their mouth. Nor do any other variations on the blowjob process that you can come up with create risky situations.

What part of THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A DOCUMENTED CASE OF TRANSMISSION VIA A BLOWJOB, millions or more later, don't you understand?

It's time to get on with your life. Really. Your problem is not HIV. It's about HIV fears.
Andy Velez

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #27 on: December 11, 2007, 09:28:02 AM »
Get blown all you like; you won't become hiv positive through this activity.

Ann


So I can get as many blow jobs as I want and I will never become infected with hiv this way, no matter what spin you put on it like, poor oral, blood present, sores......blow jobs are no risk. full stop.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #28 on: December 11, 2007, 09:30:06 AM »
Correct. I'm glad you finally understand that.

Offline Ann

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #29 on: December 11, 2007, 09:33:32 AM »
So I can get as many blow jobs as I want and I will never become infected with hiv this way, no matter what spin you put on it like, poor oral, blood present, sores......blow jobs are no risk. full stop.

Need,

That's correct. Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection, full stop. No risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #30 on: December 11, 2007, 09:46:47 AM »
Thank you for that Ann, You have made me feel better knowing that, I always thought a blow job must have some degree of risk so thanks for clarifying that for me, It seems hard to believe it is not a risk but I am not the expert.

Kind regards.

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #31 on: December 11, 2007, 11:52:22 AM »
Hello, I have just spoken to someone at the terence higgins trust here in the UK, now what they said to me was getting a blow job is not no risk but very very low risk, and there has been 1 documented case through receiving oral sex, I was told it was hard to calculate the risk factors because not many sexual active people only have oral sex, I was told hiv can be absorbed in to the body by, open sores/cut, under the foreskin or through the urethra (tip of the penis), would any of the experts like to comment about the information THT has given me.

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #32 on: December 11, 2007, 11:55:30 AM »
I don't really care what they told you. You do not contract HIV from a blowjob and saliva is not infectious. If you want to test go test, collect your negative result and be done with it.

Offline Ann

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #33 on: December 11, 2007, 12:26:06 PM »
need,

If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you will have read the following:


Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Getting a blowjob is not and never has been a risk for hiv infection. There has never been a PROVEN case of transmission happening in this manner and I don't expect there ever will be. It just isn't something that happens in the real world.

As Rodney says, test if you must in order to put this behind you, but don't be surprised by your negative result. I won't be.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #34 on: December 11, 2007, 12:41:31 PM »
RapidRod and Ann or any expert before I go, I am not going to get tested as I have been told I did not have a risk, I just wanted comments about the information that THT was giving out regarding the "can I get hiv from oral sex" question, it seems so many people worry about this because the information given out is not consistant! which causes the worrying and confusion, we know that penetrative sex can infect someone with hiv, everyone agrees to that, but when we talk oral it seems everyone gives a different answer, why? I know there has been long term studies into this, but out of the 3 studies haw many occurrences of fellatio actually took place in the studies? I believe education to hiv is a key issue, but the education needs to be consistant because people will not know what to believe. for the benefit of others who read the forum for help and support, I think you do a great job here and I am grateful I found the site but please consider the web users that have read 100's of other website before they found this oneand all the conflicting information the have read for. I understand the warning regarding the time out situation but please understand what I have said above, I also understand how frustrating it must be trying to get the message over.

Thanks
« Last Edit: December 11, 2007, 01:49:29 PM by needadviceplease12345 »

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #35 on: December 20, 2007, 04:24:43 PM »
Hello again, Just called my local GUM clinic to have a chat about other STI's other than HIV, I told her my story regarding the unprotected blowjob I received and she told me I did have a risk, but she did say it was very small, so alarm bells ring again.....She said it was possible to be infected through the urethra or under the foreskin, the virus could be absorbed through it, when my penis is erect I have a large pee hole, that is open which made me think infected fluid could get inside and maybe absorbed, why am I told this information from my local GUM, did I have a small risk or no risk, I thought I was doing OK till I spoke with the (Trained) health worker, I only called about other sti's and she said I have had a risk, please help Ann, Andy, RaipdRod anyone, I had a good week to, now she has made all the fear come back with what she said to me.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #36 on: December 20, 2007, 04:32:00 PM »
She is incorrect. It doesn't matter how large your meatus (the "pee-hole") is, you cannot contract HIV from receiving a blowjob.

MtD

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #37 on: December 20, 2007, 05:03:54 PM »
MtD, thank you for the reply, was the lady trying to scare the shit out of me? I just wish everyone would give the same answer, but everyone seems to have a different opinion when it comes to hiv via oral, my pee hole is very large when I have an erection, and opens way up, so I know fluid could get into the the top of my penis and when the health worker said that I started to freak out, so I take it I have nothing to worry about and just ignore what I am told other than this website?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #38 on: December 20, 2007, 05:17:21 PM »
I cannot say why the GUM clinic would give you incorrect information. It sounds like a "cover-your-arse" statement.

Whatever. We only deal in sound scientific fact here. And the fact is you cannot contract HIV from receiving a blowjob, even if the eye of your cock resembles the entrance to the Channel Tunnel.

MtD

Offline needadviceplease12345

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #39 on: December 21, 2007, 06:12:41 AM »
Thank you MtD, so from my exposure I have not had a risk and will be hiv negative despite all the various of my details, and despite everything I have read on the web and have been told on various hiv help lines that say it is low risk, I have not had a risk and no need to test, meaning I can get on with life and forget about the incident knowing it will not come back and haunt me.

Cheers

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #40 on: December 21, 2007, 07:21:23 AM »
Yup, that's pretty much it.

You don't have HIV. Do you wanna play on to the next round and see what's in the Time Out Box?

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #41 on: December 21, 2007, 08:09:54 AM »
need,

I'm giving you that time out I warned you about. Saliva is NOT an infectious fluid and you have not been at risk for hiv through getting a blowjob. As for the advice you received from the GUM clinic, maybe you talked to the cleaner.

Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out or you will be permanently banned.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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Re: Need advice, Have I exposed myself to HIV?
« Reply #42 on: December 22, 2007, 01:57:32 PM »
Need,

I told you yesterday that you would be permanently banned if you attempted to create a new account - but you went ahead and tried it on anyway today. You are now banned, permanently.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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