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Author Topic: Feeling like the end of the world  (Read 3770 times)

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Offline Sam72

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Feeling like the end of the world
« on: July 10, 2006, 09:53:20 PM »
Hi all  :'(
I'm super down, coz i told the girl i liked about what happened 8 years ago, now she hasnt replied. I havent had another HIV test since Feburary this year. The fear of my increasing skin problems makes me extremely concerned.

Is there any sort of really good HIV test?
Would donating blood? Would they use the same test I took at the doctor?
Is there any members who have had HIV for around 8 years? what sort of problems to u have? skin etc like that

Coz i feel i cant go on anymore... its all too much. I cant be strong like the +ve members here, as I would loose the girl I love if she found out, and also of great concern.

The brothel i went too, it was illegal I found out, and the reason it was closed was coz of raids, so that makes me worry more.

About my encounter,it happened in the summer of 1998. A friend won some money and he took me to a brothel. Anyway the girl, she had just come up to my city and she was young (18). Anyway I had a 30 minute session with her.
I had a shower then, she got on my back and put some oil on and said i was burning up, which was true i really felt hot ( guess it was nerves). She put some oil on the condom ( btw i was so nervous i couldnt get erect) and she kept trying for a while, then she got on top and me and I sort got inside her, and then she tried again on me to get me aroused. Oh i touched her vagina,but had no visiible cuts on my hands. She kissed me a few times to my surprise..... on the mouth. Near the end of the session she madly rubbed herself against me to try to arouse me and i am not sure but the condom mightve come off, as i said it was very stressful for me.

thanks again ! Good luck

Sam

p.s DIngo boi, sorry about that i removed the pictures, thx mate
« Last Edit: July 11, 2006, 03:48:15 AM by Sam72 »

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2006, 10:29:15 PM »
Hi Sam,   I hope strength comes to you- you said:  I cant be strong like the +ve members here, as I would loose the girl I love if she found out ...HOw do you know you'll lose her? People can be surprising. Also one can lose someone romantically but that person can still care deeply/genuinely for you. Good luck to you - My thoughts are with you for sure. I've been HIV positive since age 28. I'm now 34 - HIV has not affected my looks thank God. I know this because people (friends, family, others) say I look 28 and "so healthy" so of course I'll do as much as I can to keep those compliments coming. Breathe buddy, dont stress but do get tested. My GP tested me ..I don't know what test he used 
« Last Edit: July 10, 2006, 10:31:23 PM by allopathicholistic »

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2006, 11:22:52 PM »
Hi all
I'm super down, coz i told the girl i liked about what happened 8 years ago, now she hasnt replied. I havent had another HIV test since Feburary this year. The fear of my increasing skin problems makes me extremely concerned.

Is there any sort of really good HIV test?
Would donating blood? Would they use the same test I took at the doctor?
Is there any members who have had HIV for around 8 years? what sort of problems to u have? skin etc like that

Coz i feel i cant go on anymore... its all too much. I cant be strong like the +ve members here, as I would loose the girl I love if she found out, and also of great concern.

The brothel i went too, it was illegal I found out, and the reason it was closed was coz of raids, so that makes me worry more.

thanks again ! Good luck

Sam


Sam,

A couple of things.

Firstly, were you a member of the old AIDSMEDS forums? If so you might want to dig up the link to your original thread there so we can refresh our memories about what particular sexual encounter(s) make you think you may have been exposed to HIV. Alternatively you can just repost your incident/encounter in this thread.

Next, babe don't post pictures of your skin or whatever in this forum. We can't diagnose stuff over the internet. If you're having health problems or symptoms take it to your doctor. You need to know that when it comes to diagnosing HIV, symptoms mean nothing. It's risk behaviours and test results that count.

Thirdly, DON'T USE BLOOD BANKS OR OTHER PUBLIC BLOOD COLLECTION FACILITIES AS A METHOD OF TESTING FOR HIV. It's wrong. Really, really wrong. Blood banks aren't there for your HIV testing convenience. They provide a vital service to the community. We need to respect that.

HIV tests should be administered by properly qualified health care practitioners. It's an important opportunity to discuss your sexual behaviours and other issues about your sexuality. All FDA approved HIV antibody tests are accurate at the 12-13 week mark after a risk encounter. To learn more about how HIV is transmitted and the tests used in determining if you've been infected or not please consult our Welcome Thread.

Also Sam, if you're having issues with anxiety, depression and similar things, you should talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Regards,

MtD

Offline DingoBoi

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,355
  • Bailey's Infected Cream™ Served since 2004
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2006, 11:36:41 PM »
*Please edit your original post and delete those pictures.  Nobody can diagnose hiv over pictures so delete them out of respect for this forum and the if you have read the welcome thread... you would know that.

read it here. http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0

Quote
While these Forums allow for members to post photos, message threads that contain photos can take a long time for dial-up (modem) users to download.  If you must include a photograph or another image with your message, please consider using the attachment option.

delete them now.

Offline Sam72

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2006, 03:31:51 AM »
Hi Sam,   I hope strength comes to you- you said:  I cant be strong like the +ve members here, as I would loose the girl I love if she found out ...HOw do you know you'll lose her? People can be surprising. Also one can lose someone romantically but that person can still care deeply/genuinely for you. Good luck to you - My thoughts are with you for sure. I've been HIV positive since age 28. I'm now 34 - HIV has not affected my looks thank God. I know this because people (friends, family, others) say I look 28 and "so healthy" so of course I'll do as much as I can to keep those compliments coming. Breathe buddy, dont stress but do get tested. My GP tested me ..I don't know what test he used 
Hi Allopathicholistic :)
Yes I have been fine till 2005, when i got my skin problems, of course my GP disreguarded HIV, anyway I have to show him the latest, and another test. I have been in no relationship since that girl in 1998. I dont think some girls like guys who have been to escorts, it was only that one time. Thanks for the luck !

That is awesome to hear that u have been really well.. and all the luck in the world to you. Keep well


Offline Sam72

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2006, 03:39:47 AM »
Hi all


Sam,

A couple of things.

Firstly, were you a member of the old AIDSMEDS forums? If so you might want to dig up the link to your original thread there so we can refresh our memories about what particular sexual encounter(s) make you think you may have been exposed to HIV. Alternatively you can just repost your incident/encounter in this thread.

Next, babe don't post pictures of your skin or whatever in this forum. We can't diagnose stuff over the internet. If you're having health problems or symptoms take it to your doctor. You need to know that when it comes to diagnosing HIV, symptoms mean nothing. It's risk behaviours and test results that count.

Thirdly, DON'T USE BLOOD BANKS OR OTHER PUBLIC BLOOD COLLECTION FACILITIES AS A METHOD OF TESTING FOR HIV. It's wrong. Really, really wrong. Blood banks aren't there for your HIV testing convenience. They provide a vital service to the community. We need to respect that.

HIV tests should be administered by properly qualified health care practitioners. It's an important opportunity to discuss your sexual behaviours and other issues about your sexuality. All FDA approved HIV antibody tests are accurate at the 12-13 week mark after a risk encounter. To learn more about how HIV is transmitted and the tests used in determining if you've been infected or not please consult our Welcome Thread.

Also Sam, if you're having issues with anxiety, depression and similar things, you should talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Regards,

MtD
Hi Matty
Yes I will edit the pictures and also include my sexual encounter with the escort in my opening post. Yes I am aware that the Red Cross is not there to be used as an HIV testing unit. I'll get one more test from my doctor and if all is ok, then i am off to the Red Cross to donate blood, but only then. I never want to risk the public.
As for my anxiety and depression, my doctor is aware and has pleaed with my mum who was present, that I'd take these luvox tablets, anyway I'd like to try some sort of theopy first before taking drugs or even better, free msyelf from this aniety of hiv forever.
Much appreciated ur help and everyone else input
Sam :)

Online Ann

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  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2006, 06:30:21 AM »
Sam,

You have reliably tested negative for an incident eight years ago - an incident where you had no risk of infection in the first place.

This was all discussed in your thread in the old forum.

You do not have hiv. Symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv, ONLY a test will reveal your status. And YOUR status is conclusively hiv NEGATIVE. Period, end of story.

If you cannot accept your negative hiv status, please seek the assistance of a mental health care professional. There is nothing more we can do for you here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Sam72

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2006, 07:44:48 PM »
Sam,

You have reliably tested negative for an incident eight years ago - an incident where you had no risk of infection in the first place.

This was all discussed in your thread in the old forum.

You do not have hiv. Symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv, ONLY a test will reveal your status. And YOUR status is conclusively hiv NEGATIVE. Period, end of story.

If you cannot accept your negative hiv status, please seek the assistance of a mental health care professional. There is nothing more we can do for you here.

Ann

Hi Ann,
Thanks for ur reply. It is just i worry about any skin problem. I removed the latest pics as requested by DingoBoi. I guess my doctor will send me to someone or and take another HIV test i think also.
I have these other problems if not HIV could anxiety really cause these problems

cheers
Sam

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,189
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2006, 07:49:04 PM »
Go see a dermatologist because it is unrelated to HIV. You are HIV negative.

Offline Sam72

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2006, 04:18:18 AM »
Go see a dermatologist because it is unrelated to HIV. You are HIV negative.
Hi RapidRod
Thanks. I will be seeing my doctor tomorrow. I know but I cant help but worry, so I guess another test and a dermatologist

regards
Sam

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 23,842
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2006, 08:38:49 AM »
Sam, I don't think you're really listening to what is being said to you here. You've reliably tested negative for HIV. You ARE HIV negative. Period. End of story.

Stop letting your mind tell you it knows better than a negative HIV test result.

Whatever is going on with your skin has nothing to do with HIV. You're wasting your money in taking anymore HIV tests. Go see either your regular doctor or a dermatologist to find out what is causing your rash. It has nothing to do with HIV. No kidding.
Andy Velez

Offline Sam72

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Feeling like the end of the world
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2006, 09:07:28 PM »
Sam, I don't think you're really listening to what is being said to you here. You've reliably tested negative for HIV. You ARE HIV negative. Period. End of story.

Stop letting your mind tell you it knows better than a negative HIV test result.

Whatever is going on with your skin has nothing to do with HIV. You're wasting your money in taking anymore HIV tests. Go see either your regular doctor or a dermatologist to find out what is causing your rash. It has nothing to do with HIV. No kidding.
Hi Andy
Thanks for your reply. It is not that i dont listen to what u and the other informed members say. Its just this fear and I am seeing my doctor today about my skin problem. I am pretty sure he will look at my skini rashes and then suggest the anxiety medication again. I guess I might just have to take it. The HIV tests are free, book up on the Goverment and it is done at a private lab. They seem to use a combo of the Antigen and Antibdy test. I will see first what is wrong with these rashes. I really dont like needles at all.

Thanks again
cheers
Sam
edit : My doctor refused to test me again. He suggested i get on the luvox and take a tissue sample of the skin sore.Said it looked like polarisi? (mind the spelling)
« Last Edit: July 13, 2006, 08:29:19 PM by Sam72 »

 


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