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Author Topic: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...  (Read 28850 times)

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Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« on: November 13, 2007, 05:32:37 PM »
OK GFs~  Queen is IMing me and asking me to start the new thread already.  So, under duress, I came up with a quick title.  With what's been going on with me lately, I think its rather fitting!   :D

Iceman is here now (surprise!) and we are going to dinner, more soon!


For new readers, here's our "Dating Threads" history....
Part I:       http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=12526.0
Part II:      http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=13850.0
Part III:     http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=14375.0
Part IV:     http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=14848.0
Part V:      http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=15148.0
Part VI:     http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=15558.0
Part VII:    http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=15951.0
Part VIII:   http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=16271.0
Part IX:     http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=16637.0
Part X:      http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=16913.0

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: November 15, 2007, 01:54:13 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2007, 07:19:37 PM »
Well Damn, it is about time. I have caught up on everybody's posts today. I wanted to thank you all for your concern, I just needed to step back for a minute and analyze things concerning Rico. I forget which one of you said it, but after going through a crying fit and staying in bed all day Sunday, I have come to the conclusion that I guess I was looking for something to be wrong and crush my chances at being happy. Not sure what the tears were about, maybe the planets were out of alignment or something.

I did get to see Rico yesterday for a moment and bring him a few groceries. Since he got his own place now he is struggling a bit but knowing how he came up here with practically nothing, I had no problem helping out. Someone asked if it was just sexual between he and I, well, not really but at the same time we are not in a relationship per se. I can't take it to that level just yet being that we are just getting to know each other and for the fact that I have not disclosed to him yet. I went into a relationship with my ex that way and don't want to do that again. But at the same time, we are both adults and have not been intimate for a few years so the sex just kinda happened.

I laughed my ass off about the birthday cake and candles, yep, Cindy, you should have just bought the 4 and 5 candles. I am glad that freecycle is working for you. My group moderators doesn't ask what you need the items for and think it strange that your group does. Maybe it is because they want to make sure people are not trying to sell what they are getting for free. Glad Iceman liked the cologne, seems you can never go wrong with that, who doesn't want to smell good... ;) Oh, almost forgot, Cowboys are the shiznit, we are 8-1 and in the lead in our division I believe...I am loving it.

I am sorry, NY, You should try freecycle because you can really find some good things there. I thought you saw my post on that in the other thread. Ok, now I know I read someone is undetectable, congrats on that, it's a great feeling or at least it was to me when I found out recently that I am.

Betty, I was reading about your old computer. Glad you got a new one, wish I knew someone on Geek Squad but it also sounds like to me that all your old computer needed was to be upgraded, the operating system I mean. You were working with Windows 98, the one you have now prolly has Vista or Xp on it. But nothing beats FREE.... ;D Glad you got your teeth fixed too. I would've given those people a tude back, shit, who has 3200 bucks to give away when you get something done for less. Geez, they were getting paid either way.

Glad to hear that the rest of you ladies are doing well. Once again, I am sorry I strayed away for a moment but I have a habit of pushing people away when I am going through it. Usually because of the people in my past that I have opened up to has used my vulnerability against me at times. I have to remember that you guys are not like that and it is ok to vent. Keep your heads up ladies!!!!!!
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2007, 08:08:48 PM »
Well, the Queen is back!  Glad to hear something from ya, Queenie.  Yes, the computer I have now has Vista.  So far I haven't experienced any problems.  You know, before these posts, I had never heard of freecycle either.  But I'm going to see if it's in my area as well.  Can always use free stuff....  That was awfully nice of you to take Rico some groceries.  It sounds like something I would do.  When I was at Kroger's today, they had bagged food that customers can buy and they donate it to the local food pantry and food banks.  So I bought a $5.00 bag.  People can always use food around the holidays.  I see so many homeless in the streets up here, it's really sad.  I hope things work out between you and Rico.  It sounds like you really want them to.  About my teeth, it cost me $30 to get my tooth back in place.  I certainly would not pay $3200 for a new set.  That's just ridiculous.

Cin, I'm waiting to hear how your date went with the Iceman.  Oh, and thanks for starting this thread!

I hope all you other ladies are doing alright.  I really need to get back into the dating game.  But I don't know where to meet single guys or gals.  I do still talk to Liz.  She's going to go to her family's place in Detroit for Christmas by train.  She told me she couldn't find anyone to take her to the train station, so I told her I would do that.  We'll just take things slow and see how it goes.  I might go to a local club or something New Year's Eve.  That is, if someone else in recovery goes with me.  Not that I feel like drinking or using any drugs, but one never knows and it's always best, at least for me, to have someone else in recovery with me when going to those places. 

I hope all you ladies have a wonderful night.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Nygurl225

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2007, 12:46:41 AM »
Helo girlies!!

Queen glad to see your back. I understand what you mean about pushing people away, I tend to do the same thing. Sometimes we all need to crawl inward and get some "me time" to sort through things.

Cin~ Thanks for the new thread! The title does seem suitable.

Betty~ I think when the time is right, dating will come. Sometimes things just fall into place. Getting out sounds like a good idea. If all else fails, you have a good time out with friends and that makes it worth while.

As for me, well I'm still going through BS. My ex has decided to not pay child support this month so I'm officially COMPLETELY broke. I layed in bed and just cried for a bit this morning but I eventually forced myself to get up and get moving. I can't let myself fall into a depression. The way I see it is, I'm the only adult in my home, the only one who holds things together, if I crumble my entire household crumbles. I need to get through this some how. So I'm doing my best to stay productive and push through whatever sadness I'm feeling.

As for military man, same old shit. He just doesn't get it and I've decided that getting upset is pointless. I can't change who he is, or make him be who I want him or need him to be. I'm very pleasent to him when we do speak. I have no room for bitterness in my life, its a pointless emotion. I guess I will just accept what little help he does offer and do what I need to for myself. I plan on filing for child support once I can get my shit together and get out to the court house. Only about 2 and a half weeks to go until the new baby arrives YAY!!!  I'm counting down the days!!

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a great evening, or morning i should say (its almost 1am). I'm off to bed for now.

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2007, 08:53:57 AM »
Good morning ladies:

What another beautiful day!  They say it's supposed to be a little windy today, but the sun is so nice. 

NY, have you checked out the local food pantries yet?  Have you been in touch with your local ASO (AIDS Service Organization)?  I think these places could really help you through your rough times.  I know that usually ASO's can help with things like rent, utility bills etc. on an emergency basis, which is what your situation sounds like.  Just do the best you can, and believe the rest of your needs will be met.  But you do have to make the effort.

OK, waiting anxiously to hear how Cin's date with Iceman went.  Cin, since you didn't check in last night, I'm thinking Iceman must have spent the night again. ;)  I'm so glad you two found each other.

Queen, now that you're back, please stay with us.  You know we're here for you. 

Today is my Child & Adolescent Psychology class (well actually tonight).  In the next four weeks, we're going to have three papers due.  I'm not really sure what the teacher wants, so I will be talking to her about that tonight.  Other than that, I got my cat a Christmas stocking yesterday. I'm not sure if I already told you all that or not.  And I got her a couple gourmet kitty treats to go in it.  She was scared of the stocking at first.  It's like I say, she has post traumatic stress disorder from being in the shelter around all those other cats. :D  She's really a very good, loving cat and I don't know what I'd do without her.  There was one day last week when I felt like shit and laid around almost all day.  Every time I would lay down, she would immediately jump up on my bed and lay on top of me, like she was worried about me.  I just love animals.  I hope all you ladies have a nice day-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Nygurl225

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2007, 09:13:33 AM »
Thanks Betty!! Food pantries are easy to find and there are quite a few. Right now I'm serching for ASO's. I never thought to check into that. I mean my diagnosis is still new so I'm still learning about all these services.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2007, 10:39:14 AM »
Hi GFs~

BT~  I think you should start putting up your tree and decorating your house a little bit each night.  That's how I do it, or else I would exhaust myself!  I know you miss your mother, I am so sorry about that.  I know this holiday season will be tough.  I still tear up when I get the fake tree out and remember some of the decorations that my late husband and I bought together.

Queen~ Nice to see you posting.  Don't think that you are undeserving or anything with Rico.  Just have fun with everything -- unscripted, you know?  Also, freedcycle doesn't ask you to explain, they just suggested it one time, and it worked for me!

I am going to my GFs house soon.  She is the little sister of my ex best friend from high school.  The ex best friend who wrote me off in 2002 when I disclosed to her -- she went and told her entire family, and little sis stuck up for me.  She is a Scorpio, too!  ;)  We haven't hung out since last November because she has two young kids, one a 2-1/2 yo she adopted from China.  She also is the one who had to put her dog down last Friday, but she has two new puppies!  So, I will go hang with her for a few hours.  She lives in Jay's neighborhood, right around the corner from him.  I almost feel like going and knocking on his door, to tell him I'm in a relationship exclusively with someone.  I told Iceman about Jay, and how he hasn't asked me out, he's keeping his distance.  I know Jay is concerned about my pos status, but we will remain friends. 

Iceman called yesterday to say he would come by to help me get the table into my house.  Its so nice having a DR table again!  I offered to cook him dinner cause I had just gone to the store, but he wanted to take me out.  We had some yummy subs at Quizno's and then went to the mall.  We are going to Iceman's friends 50th bday party this weekend, so we bought some gag gifts.  It was nice seeing all of the decorations , I started getting excited about Christmas, even though I have no money to buy many gifts, I am trying.  I DO have credit, though!  ;)  Yikes! 

We were driving back to my place and it was so misty out, I invited Iceman to stay over.  Here I thought he would come to move a table and head back out, but I got him for the entire evening!   :D  We were talking and talking like we always do, and then headed upstairs to my room to talk some more.  Lots of deep things, and we both understand each other.  I picked a good word to describe us last night..."effortless."  It is really amazing.  Then Iceman looks me in the eyes and says, "You know what?  I am falling in love with you....."  I couldn't believe it!  I was so happy and felt so warm, hearing those words from him.  Yes, its happening fast, but he and I have very strong personalities and we are very deep emotionally, so we are holding on to see where this ride will take us.

So, things have moved up another level already.  I had such a nice, romantic evening, sent out my 37th year of life with a bang!   ;D  We dozed off around 1am, I really couldn't sleep, and woke his ass up at 430am.  "Bang!"   ;D  ...if you get my drift, it was such a good night and a good way to start my birthday.  I'm in love!  Tonight is the big birthday date, I can't believe this man.  He is incredible, and I am so very fortunate!

Running late, gotta go!  More this afternoon if I have time!

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: November 14, 2007, 10:41:36 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline wishful

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  • I am pretty content nowadays..Life is gud..
Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2007, 04:17:53 PM »
Im dating someone , cant decide when to disclose..im afraid....
Live life to the fullest...

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2007, 05:15:05 PM »
Hello Ladies---

I hope you all are having an eventful day and even if you feel you aren't, just think, it could be worse. I try to think that way when things suck or I'm not just feeling motivated. My day didn't even get started til after 2 pm today because for the damndest reason I couldn't sleep last night. I didn't even go to sleep til around 6 am. While I was up, I just kinda went into Prince mode. I downloaded all of my fave songs from him and his proteges like Vanity 6 and The Time. I burned a cd, put into my dvd player turned up the tv and had my own concert...
No plans at this moment. Rico called earlier and he may stop over after visiting with his son. Until then I will prolly just take a nap cause I still feel a bit tired. I think that is from the pill I took to help me sleep.

Happy Birthday Cindy, I know you will be having a nice day today. I am so happy for you and glad that you have found love at last.

Wishful, welcome to the forums. I see your post, you are not alone, I am dating someone too and have not yet disclosed to him. And like you I am afraid of being rejected too but that is not the reason for me not disclosing. I haven't done it yet because I am just getting to know him and am not ready to put myself out there yet but I do plan on telling him. So, I guess my advice to you would be to do it when you are ready. I am not sure if you are sexually involved with this person yet but if you are, I hope you are being safe and using a condom. No one here will judge you but will have some good advice to offer, I reckon.

Ny-- I hope you are able to find a ASO in your area, shouldn't be hard, might be able to just google it online or something. I know mine here has been very helpful with a lot of things. Happy Hunting and if you have any questions just ask.

Ok, I need to go, I am still feeling drowsy as hell and I got to get my beauty sleep before Rico shows up... ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Nygurl225

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  • Posts: 63
Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2007, 05:19:11 PM »
Well I found a local ASO today and I gave them a call. The receptionist told me that everyone there was in a meeting but that they have many services that can help me. She even told me that they have helped her many times and she now volunteers there. I left her with some basic info about myself and now Iím awaiting a call back. I really hope they can offer some help. Besides that I Ďm just trying to keep up with my life which seems to be moving faster then I am right now. I needed to get out today because sitting in the house gets depressing, so I spent  the day with a friend just keeping her company while she ran errands. It was good to get out but now I have a messy house and school work to do L. It does seem that slowly but surly things are coming together, Iím just trying to hang in there.

Cin~ Iím so glad you enjoyed your Birthday!! I bet your looking forward to the holidays. Iím very happy for you!

Betty~ Thanks so much for the info you offered me. It really helped, I never thought to look into ASOís and it seems this one can really help me. Iím a bit relieved right now.

Well, Iím off to do housework and school work. Ugh! Have a great night ladies!!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #10 on: November 14, 2007, 05:42:36 PM »
Ny---

Glad you found an ASO. Still check out freecycle.org for some other things you may need that you can get for free....Counting down those weeks, gf...We're going to have a baby!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2007, 06:43:21 PM »
Happy Birthday Cindy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #12 on: November 14, 2007, 07:11:52 PM »
Hi GFs~  Just checking in, Iceman and I just returned from dinner.  Thank you for the birthday wishes!  He has spoiled me so much this evening and the night is still young!  ;)  He gave me my gifts before dinner, a bunch of little goodies, so many sweet things.  I started crying, I was so overwhelmed. 

I'll post more details tomorrow.  Oh, and btw, he put a "3" and an "8" on the cake, and I got flowers, chocolates, jewelry and more......

Oh my goodness, this man is AMAZING!

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2007, 08:32:07 PM »
LOL....See Cindy, Iceman learned about those candles from his birthday...Awww, girl, I got to put on my  8) cause you are glowing so much. I am still awaiting Rico to show up. For some reason I am feeling sore as hell all across my shoulders, I'm not stressed or tense about anything so I am wondering what this is all about. If Rico don't show up soon, I may just call off the date for tonight but then again all I may need is a massage, who knows??? But this soreness just started today. Ok, due to my last post and a Pm from Cammie, I thought I would clear it up unless someone else gets it confused...I am NOT pregnant, hell I better not be, I think I am more the poster child for birth control considering that I am on the depo shot, my tubes are cut, burnt, and tied besides that I am also using condoms. So if Your Majesty gets knocked up, I am sure going to be raising some hell!!!!! I was claiming NY's baby since she is due in 2 weeks. I thinks someone mentioned awhile back about her baby being the first women's forum baby born so I kinda just ran with it I guess.... ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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  • Vegas baby!
Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #14 on: November 14, 2007, 08:47:31 PM »
I knew what you meant, Queen, when you were talking about the baby.  I am excited about it as well.  I wish we all lived closer so we could have a baby shower!

NY, I am so glad you found an ASO close to you.  They will surely help you out.  Glad you found some local food banks also.  I use them when I need them.   And the ASO here, although small, can be quite helpful, like if I ever need food or something.  How's the pregnancy coming by the way?  How many more weeks did you say you have?  I am excited! ;D


Cin, wow, what a fabulous report!  I am so glad that you found someone like Iceman.  You deserve someone who treats you special.  I'm confident that the job thing will work out also.  Like I said, you put out good karma; it will come back to you.  I think you're already starting to experience that.

Queen, I hope you're feeling better.  My new computer burns CDs also, but I don't know how to do that.  The girl that set it up told me she would show me sometime.  I will surely be burning some Prince songs! :D  Like "Erotic City" etc.  Sometimes if you're on the computer for awhile, that can cause the area between your shoulders to ache.  Anyway, I'm wondering if Rico made it or not.  Please keep us informed!

Cammie, it's good to see you posting to wish Cin a happy b.d., but I wish you would post more.

And for Cristy, Em, and Drag, miss you guys!  And all you other ladies I left out, have a good evening.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #15 on: November 14, 2007, 09:15:50 PM »
Hello ladies. Happy birthday ML.                      My brother went home today and We are all(except Robert and he is too young to understand) very relieved. I can relax a little more now instead of having to always be on guard. Home is the one place you should feel safe but I did not while he was here.  But Yeah!!!!!!!!!, he's gone.           Work is going okay. I had to miss my lunch shift today cause Robert was sick and I had to pick him up from school and take him to the doctor. He has the Croup so has been coughing as lot but it should get better now.                                            I am not going to date my negative friend at work but I think he realizes that. I just can't, too scared. Not much luck on poz either even with the new picture. I guess me living with my parents and having a child is a turnoff to most of them.   I consider both of these things a plus since I am not wearing myself down to provide a decent place  for us and I actually get to spend time with my son instead of working the 16 hour days that it would take to support us alone.                                                                                Ladies, I wish the best for all of you. NY, looking forward to you having that baby, may we please see a picture when she is born. I love new babies, my cousin has a 6 month old and she lets me hold her.  Hope you get some help from the agency.                                     Betty, hope your class went well. Thanks for asking about me.    Queen, hope you and Rico work out.                                                 Dragonette, very nice of you to start that birthday thread for ML, hope you are well.                                                                           Any ladies I've missed EM, Love ya.   Anyone else, hope ya'll are well. Later, Cristy  Gotta love that edit function.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2007, 01:21:03 PM by cjc »

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #16 on: November 14, 2007, 10:00:20 PM »
I feel like I have so much too say....
first off....I was given a compliment a few times and you folks have no idea how you mad me feel.  I was really at a low and it was perfect timing.

Next, it's hard for me to post lastly due to my time schedule and being in bed, but you guys are in my hearts, I'm not kidding.  You enter my thoughts alot.....
drag......cind....bt......cjc....queenie......tend and all the other girls

I hate the fact that I can't talk respond to everyone this week being sick...and me being sick is so beneign compared to the people who are really sick.  I just can't get of bed.  I know there are many who will never get out of bed so I do want to seem like a whiner. 
I am a whiner wha ....I'm a jerk.

Other days I would welcome soup and a hug....I welcome a good blood result whew...heee chewwwww

God bless

Cammie

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #17 on: November 14, 2007, 10:06:08 PM »
I feel like I have so much too say....
first off....I was given a compliment a few times and you folks have no idea how you mad me feel.  I was really at a low and it was perfect timing.

Next, it's hard for me to post lastly due to my time schedule and being in bed, but you guys are in my hearts, I'm not kidding.  You enter my thoughts alot.....
drag......cind....bt......cjc....queenie......tend and all the other girls

I hate the fact that I can't talk respond to everyone this week being sick...and me being sick is so beneign compared to the people who are really sick.  I just can't get of bed.  I know there are many who will never get out of bed so I do want to seem like a whiner. 
I am a whiner wha ....I'm a jerk.

Other days I would welcome soup and a hug....I welcome a good blood result whew...heee chewwwww

God bless

Cammie

        Cammie, you are not  a whiner or a jerk. You are our beloved sister and I hope you feel better soon. Cristy    *(Edited for clarity)
« Last Edit: November 15, 2007, 08:40:15 AM by cjc »

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #18 on: November 14, 2007, 10:06:50 PM »
I feel like I have so much too say....
first off....I was given a compliment a few times and you folks have no idea how you made me feel.  I was really at a low and it was perfect timing.

Next, it's hard for me to post lastly due to my time schedule and being in bed, but you guys are in my hearts, I'm not kidding.  You enter my thoughts alot.....
drag......cind....bt......cjc....queenie......tend and all the other girls

I hate the fact that I can't talk respond to everyone this week being sick...and me being sick is so beneign compared to the people who are really sick.  I just can't get of bed.  I know there are many who will never get out of bed so I do want to seem like a whiner. 
I am a whiner wha ....I'm a jerk.

Other days I would welcome soup and a hug....I welcome a good blood result whew...heee chewwwww

God bless

Cammie


Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #19 on: November 14, 2007, 10:55:34 PM »
The title says it all.....great in its simplicity.
When you feel like creeping into your shell someone seems to pull you out by a simple verbal gesture.....you look great, wow love that shirt, those pants make your ass perfect for my palm....ha ha....we care about you. 
Let your husband, boyfriend, sons, daughters, wifes, friends, that they look great.  The simple gesture on this forum changed my mood...that's powerful.  But don't be afraid to let someone are so important in your life....give them a hug....pets are included.................big hugs..............big hugs.






Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #20 on: November 14, 2007, 11:02:41 PM »
The title says it all.....great in its simplicity.
When you feel like creeping into your shell someone seems to pull you out by a simple verbal gesture.....you look great, wow love that shirt, those pants make your ass perfect for my palm....ha ha....we care about you. 
Let your husband, boyfriend, sons, daughters, wifes, girlfriends, friends, that they look great.  The simple gesture on this forum changed my mood...that's powerful.  But don't be afraid to let someone know they are so important in your life....give them a hug....pets are included.................big hugs..............big hugs.







Offline Nygurl225

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #21 on: November 14, 2007, 11:17:08 PM »
Hi ladies, Iím back for a post before bed.

Cammie~~ we understand that sometimes its hard to post. We all have busy lives and your entitled to be sick, stay in bed or whatever you need to do. I think we all just want to make sure your doing ok. Iím sorry youíve been feeling sick!! I hope you get better soon!!

Cj~~ I will def let you girls see my lil man when heís born!! You guys donít even know how much your support has helped in the short time I have been posting. When I was first diagnosed a few months ago, I felt so alone, as a woman, a mother excÖ  Too see that there are other STRONG women living with this virus and not just existing but LIVING gives me so much to look forward to. Iím so happy to be able to share this event in my life with you guys!!

Betty~ I have about 2 and a half weeks left. Seems like your having a good time with the new computer, Iím glad, you def are deserving!!

Queen~~ Feel free to claim my kids anytime!!! Shit, I have enough to go around and just like youíre the poster child for birth control, Iím the poster child for fertility!!


As for me tonight was ok. I spoke to military man on the phone and we got through some issues. I think we have a better understanding of each other. He broke down and admitted to me that heís having some trouble adjusting since coming home from the war. Told me heís been depressed and he is going to the veterans hosp in the area for some help. He told me that he knows that I need him and he promised me he would do certain things to help me, he assured me that he will keep his word, but I need to understand that he has been overwhelmed with getting his shit together since he came home. He also has a back injury that he is in the process of having treated (also a result of the war). He also told me that heís not sure how to handle my hormonal emotions. He knows Iím pregnant and a bit emotional so he ignores me when he thinks Iím being crazy since he doesnít know what else to do because he doesnít want to scream at me or fight with me.

My best friend told me earlier today that he called her and asked her to go to babies R us with him to help him pick stuff up for the baby. So I know heís not Bsing me. Iím not saying him and I are all lovey dovey but I think we have a better understanding of each other now and it feels good to have cleared up a lot of things. Theres so much more to our conversation but Iíd be here forever if I went on. So all I can say is he is trying and thatís a good sign.

Iím off to bed ladies!! Have a great night all!

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #22 on: November 15, 2007, 06:44:11 AM »
Good morning ladies-

I don't know what I'm doing up this early.  But, here goes.....

Cristy, I am so glad your brother went home.  I'm sure you are breathing a big sigh of relief.  I do hope Robert feels better soon.  Croup, eh?  Wow.  That must be awful.  Poor little fella.

Cammie, I am so sorry you're sick.  You are not a jerk or a whiner!  Please don't say things like that.  You know, I remember when I first found out I was poz and got out of the treatment center, I was talking to a lady who had breast cancer and was undergoing chemo.  I told her that I felt like a whiner and this is what she told me:  say you lost your finger.  You saw me and I had no hand.  That doesn't make losing your finger any less painful.  So please, Cammie, don't think that we don't want to hear about your being sick.  You are one of us now. ;)  We're always here for you, you know that.

NY, I'm glad you got to talk to MM.  I've heard that our war veterans have an extremely hard time adjusting to life again after being in the war.  I can't imagine what they go through.  Just please look after yourself.  I would hate to see you set yourself up for another disappointment.  Only two and a half weeks to go, eh?  Yipeeeee!  I can't wait to see some pictures!  I just love babies.  They are so sweet and innocent!  I hope you have an uneventful labor and delivery.  How has your labor gone with your other kids?  I remember when I had my daughter, I was in labor for 38 hours after my water had broken.  It was a horrible ordeal.  The last hours of it was spent on Pitocin (not sure if that's how it's spelled) and it was excruciating.  But, you've already been through it (a couple times) and I'm sure you kind of have an idea now of how long it will be for you etc.  I can't wait!

I hope all you other ladies have a great day! 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline wishful

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #23 on: November 15, 2007, 10:38:00 AM »
Thanks Queen, I am going to either tell him or end it..i havent decided yet..I am such a PUNK! but only about this stuff..People have always labeled me so strong and boy if they only knew. My new guy is nice tho is 7 years my junior and just as sweet as pie..I am just so unsure of how he will react, i cant call it just yet ..its only been 5 months...oh OH god yes condoms are a must! My ex knew but he is a jerk! He stole money from me, didnt want to work..im like boy i really know how to pick em! My fam thinks i should be with him bcus "he loves me so" but shouldnt i be in love as well?..They think bcus he accepted my status being his negative, that he is the "one". NOT....I have a rigth to be happy as well as anyone else, whether im pos or neg..but they dont understand...my mom should understand as she is pos as well...and just as crazy as she wanna be!..lmao, but she is well..its been about 12 yrs since her dg..
Live life to the fullest...

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #24 on: November 15, 2007, 11:50:55 PM »
Hi GFs~

Wishful~ Welcome to the Forums.  I know how nervous you must be about disclosing.  I have dated a lot and have disclosed a lot.  Plenty of toads hopped away, believe me.  I just disclosed to a guy last week and we are starting a great relationship together (Iceman).  I am very fortunate in that he is mature and compassionate, and that my status doesn't worry him.  He's concerned about my well-being, but not about becoming pos himself.  I have found that disclosure is something you just have to get your nerve up for.  If the guy is worth enough to you, then you will eventually disclose.  That's how I've seen it for myself.  I disclosed to Iceman on the third date with no tears, but believe me, getting to that point wasn't easy.  Years before it was always a very emotional thing for me, a lot of it stemming back to my late husband who passed the virus to me when he knew he was pos and didn't tell me.  Its been 11 years since he's died.  I am much stronger and more confident in myself now, but its been quite a journey!  Best of luck to you with all of this.  :)

BT~ Hiya, GF.  How is the PSYC class going?  What's up with you, anything exciting? ;)  I listened to some Priest and Skid Row last night and told Iceman about you, my metal head big sis, lol!  BTW, you asked previously about the Hep VL thing.  Iceman got his labs back today and he is undetectable, and his liver enzymes look good as well.  So, he is doing good!  If you click into the Lessons here on poz, there is a lot of good info on HepC....

NY~ I'm glad to hear your man is being honest about his feelings.  It must be hard for him after being over in that war.  My little brother is over there flying helicopters, and has been gone 2 months.  He won't be home for the holidays this year, and has three small children.  Mom said he tried to call me last night and I think he called my home phone, which I keep unplugged with no voice mail!  For emergencies only, so I missed him calling from the Middle East!  Be supportive of your man, who knows, you two may help each other out more than you ever knew you could!

Cam~  Oh I'm so sorry to hear you're sick.  I tell you, sometimes it just takes forever to run its course!  I hope you're feeling better by Thanksgiving.  I'm glad to hear that someone here made a difference and helped you pull through.  You know we love you and support you.  Its sad when someone doesn't show up in the threads anymore.  I still miss zachysmom sometimes, she was cool.  So, you just stay in touch, even if your head is barely above water.  That way we know you're relatively OK and fighting the good fight!  Get well soon, sweetie.

Cristy!~ I LOVE your picture!  Why don't you put it in your avatar?  Also, as far as dating guys and them knowing you have a child and live with your parents, well, if the guys are good guys, they won't pass judgment on you.  If they turn tail and run, they were only looking for one thing in the first place.  I had a guy send me a text yesterday, asking if we could get to know each other.  We had never spoken on the phone, just emailed a few times and I figured out he only wanted one thing.  So he sends this text and I reply that I am seeing someone.  He texts back and types, "Great!  It will be nice to delete you!"  How do YOU spell L-O-S-E-R?  LOL  A minute prior I was a precious piece of meat and then *poof* his ego is so hurt he has to dog a girl via text, that he doesn't even know.  I guess my point is, TELL these guys your situation, the truly good ones will accept you no matter what.  :)

Queen~  You and I are IMing and you just got your GOOD NEWS!   SHARE with the GFs!  QUEEN ROCKS!!  QUEEN ROCKS!!  Do you still see me glowing, btw?  I need to post about my birthday date before Betty goes nuts!

**QUEEN ROCKS!!   QUEEN ROCKS!!  QUEEN ROCKS!!**
I WOULD post a link to "Baby, I'm A Star" by Prince here, but YouTube doesn't have any Prince, as we all well know!   :D


THE BIRTHDAY

OK, so I was driving back to my place on my birthday (11/14) at 4pm, Iceman was out front waiting for me.  He was sitting on my front steps with a huge smile from ear to ear, and a beautiful arrangement of flowers was next to him.  Lots of purple irises, my VERY favorite, and other purple flowers, too!  They were gorgeous!  I ran up the walk and gave him a big hug!  We went inside, I went to freshen up my make-up and Iceman went back to his car to get his things.

I hear this "clicking" sound downstairs and chuckle to myself.  Iceman has a long lighter, the one that is almost outta juice, and he is obviously trying to light candles, presumably on my birthday cake!   ;D  I have the two good lighters upstairs, so I wait a moment and then take them downstairs.  I don't look into the DR, but reach out my arm to Iceman and ask, "Do you need these?"  LOL, we are laughing as he lights my candles and says OK.  I look around the corner and there is the cutest, tiniest birthday cake, with purple irises made of frosting, a "3" and an "8" on top!  Iceman sings me Happy Birthday, MUCH slower than when I sang to him and nearly caught myself on fire!  LOL I open the card from him, funny and cute, very sweet.

There is a gift bag on the table and he tells me to open it up.  I reach in and there are a few little boxes in there, wrapped up.  I open the first box with my eyes closed and then I look.  Its absolutely gorgeous!  There is a crescent moon pendant with little diamond studs on it, about a centimeter tall.  Its all sparkling and delicate, very very pretty!

I reach into the bag again and open the next small box.  Iceman went to an Indian store and bought a wooden tealight holder.  It has an opening where you can stand up a purple moon and star made of marblized glass, so that the candlelight glows through it!  Perfect, I love the moon theme!

Next, I pull out a small box, about 3 inches square, and its very light.  I'm thinking jewelry, but I'm not sure.  I close my eyes, unwrap it and open my eyes to look.  Crescent moon hoop earrings, very tiny and delicate with tiny studs all over them!  They match my pendant and are so beautiful! 

I tell Iceman that he has done too much, that the flowers and dinner would have been enough, well, maybe a box of chocolates, too!  LOL  I reach into the bag and pull out a box with a bow on it while my eyes are closed.  I know EXACTLY what it is!  A box of Godiva chocolates!  We laughed cause I nailed that gift right on the head!  I looked at Iceman and said that this is the most special birthday I have had in a very long time, and that he had done way too much by way of gifts.  We stood up and I hugged him tight, and then I lost it, started crying on his shoulder.  Then I cussed at him (jokingly) cause I had just done my make-up, lol!  He is such a sweet, caring man.  Just the image of him in my mind, sitting on the front steps with my purple flowers is ....oh goodness, I don't know what to call it.  Its just GOOD!

We sit back down and he says to get my next gift out of the bag, I say the chocolates were at the very bottom.  He points to the bag, so I look and see two gift cards in the bottom.  The first is $50 to the grocery store, so that I can get everything I need to make him Thanksgiving dinner!   :D  The second is to Kohl's so that I can go buy some jeans I had mentioned the night before when we were out.  The store we checked didn't carry them, and I made a passing comment that I would go to Kohl's, so he went and got me a gift card.  Sweet man, sweet man, sweet man.   Sigh......

We stepped out the front door to go to dinner and I couldn't believe it.  I was wearing my new moon jewelry, and there, right in front of my home in the southern sky was the crescent moon rising, at about 530pm Eastern.  There was a huge cloud approaching, and we watched as it came in and covered the moon.  If we had walked out a minute later, we would've missed it.  The moon was beautiful and romantic, clear in the night sky.  We went to Macaroni Grill for dinner and sat on the same side in the booth again.  Great conversation, great dinner, lots of romance. 

We returned home later, and headed for the bedroom so quickly that we didn't eat any cake, lol.  We came back downstairs later in the evening and had hot tea and birthday cake, giggling like a couple of teenagers.  Iceman started it, laughing and giggling, saying he felt giddy.  Guess I had a good effect on him!  He is really amazing, GFs!  He stayed the night, got up at 530am and left for the gym in the pouring rain today.  It took him an hour and fifteen minutes to go 20 miles down the highway at 545am in the morning!  His workout was cut short by the commute -- he said next time it was raining, he would just stay in bed with me and make better use of his time.  ;)  I couldn't have agreed more!

Iceman is coming over Friday night after work and after my support group.  We may go check out a band, see a Christmas tree lighting and buy tix to a New Year's Eve party.  We are looking forward to Thanksgiving together, too.  I bought Tom Turkey (14.25lbs) today along with all of the trimmings, using the gift card that Iceman gave me.  I called my GF in Colorado and talked to her for over an hour, giving her all of the details about the dates Iceman and I have had. 

I am positively oozing happiness and look forward to each day more than I have in a long time.  It has been a long time coming since I have felt this strongly about someone, but it has been worth the wait.

I think I really knew how great this guy was when he offered to watch Cheech for three weeks if I needed him to.   :-*   ;D

~Fini~

~Cindy

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« Last Edit: November 16, 2007, 01:41:33 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #25 on: November 15, 2007, 11:52:03 PM »
Hello all! Happy Birthday Cindy...  :) It sounds like you are in such a good place and that is a great feeling. Enjoy it and embrace it.

It is good to see you back Queen. I am glad that everything is ok. I have many days when I want to push everyone away and just retreat into solitude.

Well, tomorrow my class is having their Thanksgiving Feast. The kids make everything, mashed potatoes, corn, pumpkin cookies, real cranberry sauce, gravy, and butter. Unfortunately we don't have turkey, but chicken legs instead. The kids have been looking forward to it all week. Of course I enjoy it after the fact!  :D Very stressful making sure everything is done and within a time frame, but it is totally worth it when I see their faces. Next week is a short week I am looking forward to the break!

Going to bed...talk to you all later.

Offline confusedme

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #26 on: November 15, 2007, 11:54:42 PM »
Hi Ladies. I have missed checking in so much. Things have been busy and a couple times I tried but the site was down.

Cindy...I'm sorry I missed your birthday. I hope you had the best day.

My stupid doctor's office messed up the appointment. We asked that they schedule my husband and I on the same day since we live like an HOUR away. They didn't book me...just him. We had to reschedule twice. Well at least there will be no demands on my four day weekend. I am so glad to be off for a bit.
08/13/07 - Diagnosis confirmed
08/30/07 - T-cells 400, VL 6,500 (Baseline)
11/30/07 - T-cells 428, VL 9,950

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #27 on: November 16, 2007, 12:21:34 AM »
Well Damn!!!! It took me 30 minutes to get in here tonight. I saw Peter's post on that but Your Majesty was feeling a bit anxious. I usually am on here about a gazillion times a day but today I was a bit preoccupied with Rico.. ;) Then I had to go to the grocery store to pick up some vittles for Turkey Day and a few more things for Rico. Man, what happened to that mild weather the other day? It was colder than a Witch's tit today, ooh I hope the Goddess doesn't strike me down for that one... :D :D

As I was telling Cindy via IM, I was actually trying to disclose to Rico today by starting off by telling him that I was getting feelings for him but that kinda went ppphhhttttt. His response was, " You're a good person but I'm not trying to rush things"... I told him I understood that but it kinda made me   :-X. Then on top of that, I think Rico is still in love with his ex, he hasn't said this but I know she kinda did a riverdance all over his heart. Which seems to make things even more difficult....*sighs* I haven't given up telling him, just putting it off, praying for another opportunity.....

Betty-- If you have a cd burner on the computer and you are working with Windows Vista then you should have Windows Media Player which will allow you to burn cds. Now you need a site where to download music from. If you have some type of messenger then I could explain it more in detail to you. It is really not that hard. And yes, Rico did make it over, other than me trying to express my feelings for him and all, it was a pretty decent night. He left early this morning(Thursday morning) but came back over to pick up the groceries I had got for him. He stayed for dinner and I made him a few more cds. I am trying to locate some things for him on freecycle. His uncle is moving back to where he is from because he says the jobs pay better there than here, I just hope Rico doesn't decide to do the same.

Christy-- Good to hear from you. I missed something somewhere, a neg co-worker wanted to date you? I understand your fear. Sorry to hear that your baby is sick, hopes he gets better soon. I know you were prolly jumping for joy when your brother left and let out a big sigh of relief. How is things with your other son?

Cammie--- Sorry to hear that you are not feeling well, that bites. And you know we love you, we never think you are whining but don't we all think that from time to time? We are here for you, you know that.

NY--- I feel for MM, I know it is not easy to recover from seeing all kinds of things during war. I hope he gets the help he needs. I also hope he steps up to the plate too. But I will try to give him the benefit of the doubt since he asked your friend about baby stuff. I forgot, how many kids you have and what are the ages? I am a sucker for a baby though... ;D

Wishful-- I wish I could give you advice on your man but I am in the same boat as you just for less time. You don't have to tell me about exes being scrubs, my last one was that way. All he wanted to do was sit and play the PS2 all damn day with his friends. That got tired quick even after I disclosed to him. You got to live your life for you not your fam and if you're not happy with him then he gotta go, fam forgets they are not the ones that got to deal with the situation.

Well ladies, I gotta go. My neck is getting stiff and it is med time. Funny last night I was as flexible as hell..... ;) Oh wait, while trying to post, 3 of you were posting at the same time so I had to look back...Yes, Cindy, you are still glowing...*runs and puts on 8)* As for the news, I'll report more when I get confirmation... ;)
 
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline Nygurl225

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #28 on: November 16, 2007, 12:49:10 AM »
Hi Ladies!!

Cin~ Ice seems as if he walked right out of a fairy tail!! I guess you can be thankful for all of those toads that hopped away, they made room for this wonderful man to come into your life!! Iím so glad your birthday was so special!

Viv~ Hope your thanksgiving feast goes well tomorrow. It takes a special person to teach, I know I couldnít do it.

Queen~ I think your doing the right thing about holding off a bit with Rico. It seems like heís not ready for any seriousness right now.  I guess just feel things out from here. Time will tell. Oh and I have 3 kids already they are 11,6, and 4. 2 girls and the little one is a boy.

Cammie~ Hang in there!!!!!!

Wishful~ I can relate to you. Iím such a strong person but for some reason disclosure scares the shit outta me!! I can say just about anything, speak my mind w/o a care in the world but to utter those three little letters HIV is a mission for me.

Well girlies I am feeling a bit more relaxed since MM and I had our convo. Iíve been trying hard not to call him constantly and be too needy. I know he understands Iím hormonal but I know heís got issues too and Iím trying not to overwhelm him.  My best friend, MM and I all grew up together. She is actually married to his best friend. Sheís been very good at putting him in his place and helping him put things into perspective. Sheís like a sister to him and he listens to her so Iím thankful for her. I think she has really helped him realize what Iím going through. Sheís also good at keeping tabs on him for me. ;) Tomorrow theyíre going shopping for the baby, Iím kind of excited. Heís a man and has no clue what to look for so sheís going with him. The great thing about this is that sheís like a sister to him and since sheís my best friend she knows what I like. She wont let MM  buy anything  hideous, and heíll listen to her!

Aside from that I havenít received a call from the ASO yet. I plan to call tomorrow. Disability STILL hasnít processed my claim and Iím still broke as hell. UGH! :'(! Hopefully tomorrow I can get in touch with someone from the ASO and get the ball rolling. Well Iím off to bed. Good night all!

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #29 on: November 16, 2007, 07:09:43 AM »
Good morning ladies:

Cin, wow, what a day!  I know you're still glowing, like the moon.  I'm so glad that you had such a special time.  He sounds like the perfect man.  You definitely deserve it.  Oh, and the pictures of Cheech were cute!  And what a beautiful bouquet!

Viv, I really don't know how you do it.  You've got to be a very patient person.  I hope all goes well with the dinner. 

Queen, I'm anxiously waiting to hear whatever it was Cin was talking about.  Is there something good going on?  Oh, and I don't have messenger.  I've been asked by quite a few people if I have that.  I don't even know what it is.  When I can get ahold of my brother's girlfriend again, she is supposed to show me how to burn CDs.  I suppose I could go on napster and burn some songs.  They, at least, have Prince. ;)

NY, I will be anxious to hear what MM got for the baby.  He probably wants to do the right thing.  Is this his first child?

Well, today my car goes in for a tune-up.  Also, when I step on the gas, it hesitates.  I mean, it runs, it just hesitates.  Hopefully it's the fuel filter and not the fuel injectors.  I hear they can be quite costly to replace.  A friend of mine told me she got fuel injectors replaced in the 90's, and it was $200!  And the garage I go to are kind of higher priced than some other places, because they are so good.  So, anyway, keep your fingers crossed that it's only the fuel filter!  They do have cars they rent while your car is being repaired, so I'm going to do that and go do my father's shopping.  I also, of course, have algebra homework that I want to get done today.  No algebra next week because of Thanksgiving!  Yippee!!! 

Oh, Cin, as for my Child & Adolescent Psychology class, it's going good.  We have three papers due and only four more weeks of class, so I'll be busy writing papers in the next few weeks.  I am so looking foward to winter break.  It'll be nice, having three weeks of no school.  I've been going nonstop since last fall (except for last year's winter break).  I'm ready for some time off!

Other than that, I got some new kitchen rugs yesterday.   Mine were just getting too dingy.  I guess we need to do something like that once in awhile. 

Tomorrow, I'm going out with a friend around 9:00 for breakfast, and we're going to the local farmer's market here.  I haven't been there in years.  The last time I was there, I was married to my second husband.  I don't even remember what all they have, but I know it's a lot.  Then in the afternoon, I'm getting together with my best bud and we're going to go out for dinner, watch the movie "Sicko" and go to an NA meeting.  Yay for the weekend!  I hope all you ladies have a nice day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline wishful

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #30 on: November 16, 2007, 08:58:29 AM »
Thanks ladies....im ashamed to even admit this but last night i hit him with the "i had a dream" we got tested and i came back poz and u came back neg..would u still stay with me?"lolol...he thought about it for a minute and then said yeah i would..it would be hard but i would and he kissed me...at first he was like "hhow would i be negative" assuming it would be him that passed it to me..im working up the nerve..not quite there yet..
WOw u girls are great im so thankful for u all!
Live life to the fullest...

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #31 on: November 16, 2007, 10:02:16 AM »
My ex knew but he is a jerk! He stole money from me, didnt want to work..im like boy i really know how to pick em
wishful i had a boyfriend who did that. and i was like 'shit this guy's accepted me with my HIV and he's been good to me maybe he wont do it again maybe he was in a tight spot.' i tried to make excuses for him but i realised that it wont do me any good to be with a guy who is going to treat me like that and stress me out with his drunken unemployed thieving ass. stress and HIV dont go well together so i had to Jet Li his ass to the curb.
and about your 'dream' how u going to turn it into a reality? i usually disclose the cowards way. i send a text over the phone. i did tell this one guy face to face sitting in the car in the dark after he'd taken me home after a movie. cant see the horror on his face in the dark :D. but i think that if u're stressing over whether to tell him , then just bite the bullet and do it. then u'll know once and for all instead of wondering and biting your nails and that.  coz discussing a dream is way different from discussing cold hard facts. r u sure he's neg? 

NY- looks like theres a ray of hope over at your side. God willing MM will step up and be a responsible dad. and yu got your friend backing u up slapping some sense into him

Confused - good luck with the appointment, hopefully they wont screw it up this time.

Cindy- u ought to write a book. i'm betting u'll inspire many a despairing female. heres to happily ever after for u guys

Cammie- sorry u're sick. get well soon, hey. i've had the squirts since tueday, wish i could just stay home

Queen - fingers crossed for u girl.

Cristy - hope Roberts cough is getting better.

everyone have a great weekend!


Offline wishful

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #32 on: November 16, 2007, 10:38:06 AM »
Tendai: its gonna be soon..cus i hate to stress and i usually dont..if somthing is stressing me i alleviate it ASAP..yeah the ex is still calling and everything..saying he really really loves me..but i know he isnt the one..drunken thieving ass was so point!..that was him..half ass working and im paying the majority of stuff..he did get a ssi chk tho (go figure)..lol so he helped on the rent but the bad sooo overweighed the good..i was like i can do bad by myself...and find someone else who will accept me just the same and treat me much better..No i am not sure he isnt poz..i know that (what he told me) i am the 3rd woman he ever had sex with..he was with another women 10 yrs his senior for 6 years..and its somthin suspicious about her too..when we first got together she was jealous and called me to say he gave her herpes but she still stayed with him..then she changed it up and said no she has it but he didnt know..and went on to how she had to have their son out of town bcus of this n that ..so im gonna take him to be chked for everything..i think thats when ill tell him....
Live life to the fullest...

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #33 on: November 16, 2007, 12:35:14 PM »
Hi ladies

I've been meaning to post but RSI has the better of me, so I'll keep this short and sweet, say hi, welcome & good luck with the disclosure to Wishful (and you too Queen; I'm sorry it didn't go well with the affection thing, my BF was exactly the same, it was like saying I love you was undergoing surgery without anasthesia for him, it took ages and ages), say OMG to Cindy (where did you FIND this guy?!), say get well soon to Cammie and good luck with everything from cars & classes to the miracle of bringing a new life into this world and everything in between (guys guys and more guys; Cristy maybe I don't have the full picture but I'm still not fully convinced about why not give your workmate/friend/confidant a chance, unless it's the don't want to date a collegue thing... sorry don't mean to be nosy just wondering).

Life is kinda quiet, I have been a little depressed, homesick just missing my parents, procastinating the diet thing, fighting my anxieties. Not really something I can write about it less than 2,000 words. Guess that's what blogs are for... My BF is being great, but nowhere near Iceman's league, I mean flowers AND choclates AND jewlery AND dinner AND romance. At this stage though if my guy came up with all that I'd know something is wrong...  ;D Ice should look for a closer gym though b/c this commute is no joke. God I love just getting on my bike, that's a real quality of life, whenever i go home and stand in the gas fumes for hours I really appreciate it. Except of course when the rain pours on me and the icy winds blow through my clothes  ;)

have a great evening & kickstart to the weekend ladies
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #34 on: November 16, 2007, 02:03:36 PM »
Hi GFs~

Now Drag, don't be depressed.  Treat yourself to something (like chocolate! but drink 32 oz of water with it to trick your brain ;)! ), mail a little note to your parents and put on some good music!  I met Iceman on a dating site on the internet, Match.com.  There I was, dipping into the neggie pool, and here he comes, chasing after me with a vengeance!  This was meant to be and we are both very excited!  This is my favorite time of the year without a man, but now that I have Iceman, I am very excited!

Wishful, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate.  Just don't lose your head in all of this, you know what the right thing to do is, just do it when you're ready.  :)

Tendai~  I have always wanted to write a book, hell, I practically have in these Forums!  Its such a coincidence that you mentioned that.  How are things in your part of the world?

BT~ Don't think I've forgotten what Sunday is!  QUIT DAY!  You can do it!  You said you've already started back on the Chantix?  Kind of like a warm-up?  Good luck!  Just yell at a football game and then you can't keep a cig in your mouth!  LOL   :D  Keep us posted on the car trouble, I hope its just gunked up, and an easy fix for you!  I'll ask Iceman what it is, he's been in the automotive industry for 25 years now.  He manages the managers at a dozen different locations, lol!  Also, instant messenger or "IM" is a way to type back and forth instantly on the computer, in real time.  Go to www.yahoo.com and download "Messenger."  Pick a screen name and then PM me with it.  We can get you started!  Its like a phone conversation, but its all typing, back and forth!

NY~ Nice to hear that your MM is going baby shopping, that IS a step in the right direction.  WHEN are you due?  I am still guessing December 3rd?  ;)

Queen~  Get outta bed and tell the GFs the scoop!  Are you seeing Rico this weekend?

Confused~ So when is your appt scheduled for now?  This is for the first set of labs since diagnosis, right?  Sorry if I have you "confused" with someone else, but I think I got it!

Viv~ You're probably needing a siesta by now, stuffed with turkey and all of the trimmings!  I hope the feast at class was loads of fun for you and the students!

Cam~ I hope you're feeling better and getting some rest!   :-*

   ;D  I JUST GOT OFFERED A JOB TODAY!!!   ;D   I START 11/26 AND ITS 3 MILES FROM MY HOUSE!   ;D   MORE SOON!   ;D 

The Iceman cometh tonight, and I have a busy afternoon with massage therapy and my support group.  I'll try to post more about the job over the weekend!

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: November 16, 2007, 02:06:29 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #35 on: November 16, 2007, 03:16:09 PM »
T.G.I. F Ladies!!!!! The snow is starting to come down and prolly by the weekend it will be here for good. Ugh, I hate winter, funny considering that I am a January baby. I tend to hibernate when it gets cold... :D No plans for tonight, just chilling by the tv and watching some cable. It's Friday, so it is a Smackdown night for me which means wrestling. And you know how the Queen loves her wrestling!!!! Rico is suppose to come over tomorrow some time but that may change with how the weather is acting but I am keeping my fingers crossed.


Cindy-- Congrats on the job. I just love how things have come full circle for you. You deserve it!!! You need to bring your glowing ass over here and fight off this damn snow coming down. Also I could always work on my tan.. ;D I love those pics of Cheech too, he is such a cutie. I would love to tell the ladies the scoop but like I said, I will wait until I have confirmation for sure. I don't wanna put my foot in my mouth, ya know. But if it does happen, I consider it a very good thing.

Dragonette-- I hope you will be feeling better soon. I haven't given up on the disclosure with Rico, just looking for a better time. I saw you are trying to work on your spanish, me too, not just cause of Rico but because I am half Puerto Rican and feel kinda jipped that I don't know my native tongue. I know a little (un poquito) but no one to really speak it to. So when Rico comes over, I usually have him rattle some off and I try to pick it up. Funny thing is I can understand some of it if the person doesn't speak too fast. I think I am going to have to invest in a spanish cd but here's one for you....Quiero ir al bano.....I want to go to the bathroom... ;D or Donde esta al bano.....Where is the bathroom? Good thing to know how to say....

Betty-- So you do know how to download music, then all you have to do is just burn it and like I said if you have Windows Media Player then the rest is a piece of cake really. Download Yahoo Messenger and I will show how to do the rest. When you do that put me on your bud list, I am CapricornEnchantress. You will have to wait for my approval but you got that. I did the approval thing because I was getting all kinds of people trying to get me to look at their web cam and stuff.

Wishful--- I am with Cindy, disclose when you are ready, don't feel pressured. I sent you a PM but I see you got that. I can't wait for you to be able to chat all the time.

I am off for now. I need to get something to eat before my sugar tries to crash on me. I will check in later. You ladies have a good Friday and don't do anything I wouldn't do... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline srmn98

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #36 on: November 16, 2007, 05:16:32 PM »
Hi All,

I haven't been posting much but keeping up with reading everybody's ....

Sounds like some good stuff going on. Cindy, congrats on Iceman. Camille, I hope you feel better.

I've been thinking about some things I have been reading on the board ... and I feel I have to speak my mind. I don't want to make anybody feel bad, and I'm not judging ... but I have to say it is really hard for me to hear about sex without disclosure. I think it is something we should be able to talk about openly.

Queen, wishful --  I'm not judging you and I'm not scolding you. But I gotta speak my mind. If you put yourself in your man's shoes --- how would you feel ? I know you are keeping your men "safe" by using protection --- but should it not be their decision ??  I believe that we, people living with HIV, carry several HIV-related responsibilities. One, to stop the spread of HIV. Secondly, to educate others. And thirdly, to let others make decisions about their health and risks just as we want to make our own decisions for ourselves. I'm saying this not to make you feel bad, but to encourage you to disclose to your partners. I belileve that if you are not ready to disclose -- it is completely OK to wait until you are comfortable to disclose --- but then I believe sex has to wait until after you are comfortable enough to disclose.

I know I run the risk of alienating myself from this board by saying these things. I don't want that -- I would like to be a part of this board and I would like to make friends with all of you gals. But I also gotta say what I think, and I don't think it is fair to have sex with somebody, protected OR unprotected, without disclosure. We have to be part of the solution.

I'm not saying it is easy. I know how hard it is, I have had to disclose just like the rest of you. I agonized about it, I cried, I put it off, I thought about running in the other direction, and I still think about disclosure all the time. I haven't even told my parents. I have lots of hurdles to overcome myself. But sex is another story ... and I just encourage you to disclose to your men before sex. They deserve to know, and I know from reading your posts that you can do it.

All the best,

Sara




Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #37 on: November 16, 2007, 06:21:03 PM »
Sara---

I understand how you feel about disclosure and you are allowed to have your opinion. No one will think any worse of you for saying what you feel. As you know, I am all for speaking your mind. Not sure if you have read my previous posts about how I feel about disclosure, if not then why don't you check it out. I have been the first to say that I have issues with disclosure. But understand that I am not out humping every Tom, Dick, and Rico. It has actually been 2 years since I had been involved with anyone sexually.

I am working on trying to be more open with my status but how would you feel if someone told your status before you even had a chance to? I never had the opportunity to be open about it, my family choose to do that for me which I felt wasn't right either and this was when I was not even being sexual with anyone. I have also tried in the past to disclose to other people, as in telling them and being treated like shit. Not everyone has a happy ending when disclosing. The only people that has been accepting of my being poz is my room mate and a couple of gay friends that I have.

You may think that everything I am saying is excuses but really it is not. I did not plan on having sex with Rico but it has happened. I can't take it back. The responsible thing to me knowing what I have, is to be protected. To me, the wrong thing to have done would have been to have sex with him and not be protected. Since you have been reading the posts lately then you know that I am looking for the right time to tell Rico my status but as I have said in past posts considering what Rico has on his plate now, I don't think he can handle me telling him. I will tell him, sorry that is not something that you approve of but before you think bad of me or judge me, try dealing with what I have had to deal with. As they say, "Walk a mile in another man's shoes." You say you are not judging me but it really does sound like you are..........
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #38 on: November 16, 2007, 07:15:28 PM »
Good evening ladies:

OK, Cin, you busted me.  Yes, Sunday is supposed to be my quit date.  And I am still planning on doing it.  And congratulations on the job!  I am so excited for you!  See, I told you about the good karma thing.  I wonder what you and Iceman are up to tonight.  I will do the messenger thing when I have more time to be on the computer. 

Queen, you know when it's right for you to disclose.  Hey, I know about the Spanish thing.  My first husband was Mexican and his mother spoke mainly Spanish with only very broken English.  I got to the point where I could understand Spanish, but I couldn't speak it much.  Of course, all that is lost now, because, like you said, if you don't use it, you lose it. 

Drag, nice to see you on here.  I understand about missing your parents.  I really miss my mom.  This will be the first holiday season every in my life without her.  It's really hard.  I want to buy her a Christmas present, I want to help her with dinner, I want to help decorate her house. :'(  I know she's in a better place, but it still gets to me.

Sara, your opinion is always welcome.  I'm not one of the ladies with the issue, but I have to say that we are on here to support one another.  Of course, if you've looked in the other threads, you'll see that sometimes disagreement is quite common.  I think we here on the women's forum are a special group.  Like I said, your opinion is always welcome and you certainly are entitled to it.  But I'm not in Queen's or Wish's situation, so I can't say what I'd do if I were.   Me personally, I would disclose, but they're not me and all that stuff. 

Anyway, ladies, I better go get some studying done.  I hope everyone's having a good evening.  It's unusual for me to be studying at this time of night, so I'm sure it won't last for long. ;)  Actually, all I have to do tonight is finish reading a chapter in a book.  Oh, they changed the fuel filter in the car, but it's still missing.  The mechanic told me what he thinks it is, and says it's nothing major.  I had to have the car back though so I could go do my dad's shopping, as he was freaking out.  So I might put it back in the shop next week or the week after.  Talk to you ladies later-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline confusedme

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #39 on: November 16, 2007, 11:27:42 PM »
Cindy, this will be my second set of labs. I had my baseline work within a few weeks of diagnosis. I was supposed to have it done the week after but I kinda freaked out and put it off. The new appointment is for the 30th...which I am not very happy with. I had this whole long weekend off so I thought I would give me time to pull myself back together. I fell into a funk after the last one and I don't want to be at work like that if I feel that way again.

I would like to put my 2 cents in on this disclosure issue. With all the issues lately with my marriage I have wondered what it would be like to date and have to put myself out there. With all the rejection involved with dating in general, throwing something else into the mix is unimaginable.

In my mind I would love to believe that I would disclose before things get serious. In fact I have even told close friends that it would be really hard for me to date again if I ever were in that situation. You never know who will try to destroy you, who will go crazy because of the misconceptions they have. There are still people in this world who think HIV is transmitted like the common cold, from kissing, touching or even being near someone. The fear is unfounded but it is real. I have heard these fears voiced by those that had no idea what I was dealing with.

The fact of the matter is things happen. Life happens. Rarely in my life has anything that has happened to me been because I planned it out that way. I didn't plan to get married the first or the second time. I didn't plan to have a child. I didn't even plan out my career path, let alone planning the way my first sexual experience with any man would go. The first time you have sex with someone it is something that starts out innocent and slow but progresses to something wild, raw and sometimes impossible to resist. Those urges surely don't die because this virus runs through us. It is really easy to say we would do something differently and we all have said so at some point about something but only being there, in that situation will show what your true reaction would be.
08/13/07 - Diagnosis confirmed
08/30/07 - T-cells 400, VL 6,500 (Baseline)
11/30/07 - T-cells 428, VL 9,950

Offline Imasurvivor

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #40 on: November 17, 2007, 12:55:59 AM »
Hi there ladies,
Just saying hello to everyone.  Cindy, I was smiling all over my face reading your thread about your birthday night, I always thought that stuff only happened in movies, (Happy belated birthday) I am happy for you, maybe Iceman can teach my husband one or two things  ::).  About the disclosure issue, it actually took me seven years to disclose to my husband, the more I wanted to tell him the harder it got, until I finally sent him an email telling him the names of the meds I was on and asking him to look them up.  It seems to be harder for some of us than others and I've had alot of negative vibes from even medical people in my past, I know that's no excuse but I just couldn't get the words to come out, even now I can't talk about it with him, the guilt is still there as well, but I'm so glad that he finally knows.  I've come to realise that if you are not afraid of people finding out (or trying to fool yourself that you're not) then the gossip doesn't hurt as much, it still hurts but not as much. My husband said the other day that if I had really loved him I would have told him from the beginning and I should have given him the choice, he's probably right, I don't know if that's the reason, maybe it was alot of things.  Anyway, I've said enough for now and I'm probably not making any sense what so ever.  Just wanted to say hi and that I understand.

Love
G
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. - African proverb

05/22/2008 CD4 908 % 31.1 VL<40

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #41 on: November 17, 2007, 08:34:53 AM »
Good morning ladies:

Hmph, I came on here expecting to read some good things from Cin and our Queen, but I guess they must've been busy doing other things last night. ::)  Anyway, I hope you ladies are fine.

Another word about disclosure, I don't know how I would react unless I were in that situation.  Surely we can't be judgemental of people who don't disclose right away.  I've made too many mistakes in my life to be in the judgement seat.  So, as far as diclosure it concerned, nuf said.

This morning a gay friend of mine will be here in about 25 minutes.  We're going out to breakfast and then we're going to the local farmer's market.  I haven't been there since I was married to my second husband, and I'm a little excited.  Later on today, a friend of mine is coming over and we're going to watch Sicko and go to a meeting.  I'm looking foward to seeing Sicko, I heard it's a good flick.  I always like something controversial about the government systems, since I'm such a rebel. ;)  Other than that, it's been a quiet morning around here.  I hope all you ladies have a good day-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #42 on: November 17, 2007, 09:03:43 AM »
Good Morning Everyone! First I want to say a huge CONGRATULATIONS to Cindy. I know this job has been a long time coming. Good for you. Now you can rest easy!

Betty-You can do!!!!
Queen- It sounds like you are trying to be happy and that's great. We all have our own reasons for doing things. :) Hang in there and you'll find the right time.

I feel like I am going to have to keep notes on everybody so I can keep up,LOL! Well, my feast went over well. No one got burnt or cut and there was enough food to go around. That made it a good day! The kids really had a good time. My room is connected to the other 5th grade room by partitions and for this day my partner teacher and I open the doors and connect the desk so it makes the day even more special. I think that I am lucky to do what I love to do. It's funny that some of you think I must be so patient. I am patient with the kids but with adults I have higher expectations... :)

I am so happy that we are getting to the holiday season. I love this time of year! Of course I don't have the change of seasons like most of you. We celebrate Thanksgiving in flip flops! :D

Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #43 on: November 17, 2007, 12:23:41 PM »
I'm having a heck of a day. I feel like bitching.

Billy and I are going to Houston for Thanksgiving so I'm doing Thanksgiving tommorrow for my family. I dont want to go to Houston, I dont like the drive and in general I dont like being there. 
I sliced thru my nail and thumb cutting onions earlier so now the tip of my thumb is super glued, bandaged and covered in a glove when I'm handling food.

I am sitting here with morning hair sticking out all over my head and zit cream on my face waiting for the pain pill to kick in cause I'm having menstrual cramps.
They just started me on the pill to "help" with my menstrual pain supposedly. Sooooo instead of 3 days of intense pain
<easiily comparable to labor pains> I started bleeding again after the second week of taking the pill. So now I will have a period that last 2 weeks. They wont let me fill the prescription early so I can skip my period.
uggh I dont know what is worse. intense pain for 3 days or pain pain for 2 weeks. The GYN I saw was a NA, I thought she was nice, she gave me a number to call her if I had any problems. Well that number turns out to be a pager number and she doesnt return calls.
They think I might be premenopausal even though I am only 35. I dont know. I just dont like having my damn period. I serves no purpose for me other than to make me dirty, stinky and in pain and if Billy says its a penalty one more time that my kind shouldnt have eatten that apple I'm going to find one and shove it up his ass. LOL

Nice example of PMS huh ladies?

Thanks for allowing the vent...

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #44 on: November 17, 2007, 03:00:16 PM »
Just checking in...I'm not really feeling too good, not sure what is going on. I have been feeling sick to my stomach since last night and my stomach hurts like someone kicked me in it. At first I thought maybe it was the side effects from my meds but I'm not sure if it's that anymore. Usually when that happens, I'll go to sleep and wake up feeling better. Then after reading Em's post about the flu shot and learning that it takes a few weeks for the shot to really kick in, I thought maybe I have the flu or some of the symptoms. Not sure about that either because I have never had the flu before but I thought well it can't be that because I really haven't been out the house except to go to the grocery store. And the only person I have been around has been Rico but he's not sick at all. I hadn't eaten much yesterday except for some bacon earlier during the day and snacked on some fried okra last night, so I'm ruling out food poisoning. I know I need to quit diagnosing myself but I refuse to go to the ER and sit there for like 6 hours just so they can tell me that it is "probably" a stomach virus. I just feel like curling up in a ball. And I get like a baby when I am not feeling well..... :(

Winiroo---- Girl, I know how those cramps can be. I use to be a royal bitch every month. They tried the pill thing with me too cause I use to bleed for like weeks every month. Not good when you're anemic, so I ended up getting the depo shot which stopped everything.

Viv--- Thanks for being understanding on the disclosure issue, I really appreciate that. I just think it is so easy sometimes for folks to say what you should do when if they were in my shoes it would prolly be a different story. Not knocking those who jumps at the chance to disclose from the gate but just saying. There was a case in NY some years back when this guy who found out he was infected was screwing women left and right, not being protected at all, ya know. With my ex it actually took me 4 years to build up the courage to tell him and I know that was indeed not fair to him. I will not do that with Rico but like I said, he is not ready but I am looking for the opportunity to tell him.

Confused--- I really liked what you had to say about the disclosure issue, thanks for saying it.

Betty--- The same thing goes for you too. I hope you are having fun out with your friend today.

Cindy--- Where you at? We want to hear about the new job. I know you prolly got my IMs but like I told you, I was not directing my frustrations at you but just needed to vent and at that point felt that I couldn't do it here without being misunderstood. Of all the ladies, I think you understand me the most. But I'm sure you are prolly busy with the Iceman, having fun....

I need to go lay back down for a bit before Rico comes over. You ladies have a good one....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #45 on: November 17, 2007, 04:51:02 PM »
Hi ladies

Today was the first time I cried reading something on the forums, like for real... actually not on the forums but on the blog, reading Ann's blog. That is not to say that I didn't read more, objectively speaking, heartbreaking stories here, nevertheless this touched me in such a deep way. I am just choking as I write this. My BF went to dinner and a movie with friends so I didn't join, tomorrow we have dinner here with more people so I am just here. Anyway we had a long discussion over my dependancy on him and his growing but slower one on me (he is always a few steps behind as I wrote Queen). I am ashamed of showing my true face to him, like what if the real me is not attractive enough... what if my weaknesses make him run away. But what happened with Ann showed me, it can happen anytime. I knew this already, I know relationships are unstable for the most part. But everytime it hurts. In this case, not just b/c it's scary. I really feel all those feelings which i will not name here now, identify completly.

OK deep breath... I wanted to write on the disclosure thing, but I don't have a strong opinion. I do have about what i would do which is what I did, disclose before sex (which caused a delay of sex by what was then an indefinite period). Having said that, I don't do it to "stop HIV with me" but b/c I am afraid that the person (well I only did this once and hope never too again, but you never know) will react badly when I tell it afterwards... so my motives are not pure, so to speak. One more thing which has made my life much easier when it comes to disclosing (and still I don't disclose all over the place) is the fact that I am a foreigner. At home, I am discreet to the point of keeping this from medical personnel, although I have told friends. I imagine that if I was dating at home (something I would not even want to consider, regardless of HIV) I would be much much more careful with disclosure. In fact HIV would prolly prevent me from dating, unless I met someone who liked me already, not a date such as online dating.
When Cindy disclosed to Ice, I didn't want to say anything, but I was so nervous b/c I was afraid it was just too soon... I don't beleive on disclosing in the first dates... I don't think most people can handle that in this day. I thought she was incredibly brave, she had already made up her mind and I didn't want to cast any doubts her way.

I agree Sara that learning that the person with whom one is sleeping is poz is most times a huge shocker, esp if you know that they knew. I don't think - actually I know - there is a risk of infection, when you are having safe sex, esp with a woman. I think the ideal situation is what Cindy & Sunseeker just went thru and to a lesser degree what i went thru - not complete acceptance and let's hit the road baby but not rejection either, more a cautious approach not unlike Cindy's Jay's. So this is the ideal, but there is also the reality. And in reality people try to get whatever wamth and closeness and kindness they can get, b/c in this cruel cold world, you never have a guarantee of how long that will last either. And you never know until you try, what is the right way to go about certain things with certain people.
So I don't justify holding that information, but I don't condemn it either. And it's not cos I'm trying to be neutral, it's b/c this is a difficult thing. I would advice anyone to dislose early (but not too early) to save heartache. But what iif they can't? what if they have been rejected? what if their society is not educated or liberal enough? I have been dumped by a guy who said he loved me & was about to move in with me for this, I am sure that 99.9999% of the guy where i am from would not accept HIV as part of my package.
I know what is the "right" thing. But what if you can't do the right thing? should you avoid trying to get a relationship altogether? What if you know it can be good and you are not putting the other person at risk? If there was a risk of infection I would say yes, you must avoid building as relationship - and that includes sex - before disclosure, but I don't beleive this is the case. I know that the law in some places says otherwise, but not where I live, for the reason that they don't consider undisclosed safe sex dangerous.

Confused, you mentioned that some people still think HIV can be passed thru sharing cutlery etc. I am not sure my BF's family doesn't still think that and that is one reason I don't feel 100% comfortable with them. But, even if you were not poz, would you want to go out with someone who was that ignorant? Just a thought...I don't doubt for a second that it's much harder for us to play the already tough game of finding a mate, but don't think that it can't happen... we have seen evidence to the contrary just on this thread quite a few times in a few months only... don't cement your heart, b/c it will protect you but also isolate you...

well that's it from me for now. hope you are all having a decent afternoon (?). I used to get pretty crampy too but even more I am grumpy before my period, and that's an understatement, more like criminally insane... hope the red zone passes quicky Winiroo... Hugs and get wells to all those who need it.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2007, 05:01:51 PM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Nygurl225

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #46 on: November 17, 2007, 06:36:55 PM »
Good evening ladies!

Cin~ CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!   Iím very happy for you! Seems as if life is really beginning to come together for you. Good 4 you!

Viv~ Glad your meal went well. I guess you are patient with kids because thatís your calling. We all have one.

Wini~ Iím sorry your having a crappy day!! We all have them. I know theres this new birth control out that you can take, you only have 3 periods a year. Maybe you should ask your doc about it. I hope you feel better soon!

Queen~~ FEEL BETTER!! Girl, just crawl back into bed and rest. You prob just have a stomach bug. Itís been going around where I live. Hopefully itís just a 24 hour thing and tomorrow your feeling better.

Dragon~ Hope your doing well. Iíve glanced at anns blog but never really sat down and read through it. Now I think I will.

Well ladies, the past few days have bought more chaos for me. Still no call back from the ASO. I called again yesterday morning and left a message. Nobody has gotten back to me. Itís very frustrating, especially when you really need some help. Disability still has not filed my claim because the med records office at my doctors office hasnít sent them my paperwork. I called med records and was told they receive over 200 request a day and it could take weeks before they send the records over. Iím still waiting for a child support check and if/when I get it I plan to go get the records myself and fax them. I feel like if I want things to get done I have no choice but to do them myself. I called child support and there is $$ in my acct but it hasnít been mailed  out yet. When I asked why the lady couldnít tell me, she couldnít tell me when it would be mailed either. This is SO frustrating!!!!!  So in a nutshell Iím STILL BROKE!!!  Come Monday morning Iím going to start with another round of phone calls. Things are getting more and more tight as time goes by. I canít continue on like this. Hopefully something gets done soon.

As for MM, he did go out and get me a really nice swing, stroller and car seat for the baby along with some other things. I wonít go as far as to say things between us are ok but theyíre a bit better. He is stepping up to the plate as a father but I wonder about him and I. I think heís just as confused about ďusĒ as I am. I donít dare ask because I donít want to jump into anything. I guess Iíll just see where things go. He says heís coming to stay with me after Thanksgiving, weíll see if that happens and how that goes. Besides that my day has been the same as usual. School work and housework. Nothing exciting. Hope you ladies are doing wellÖ.Iíll be back later!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #47 on: November 17, 2007, 07:21:15 PM »
CONGRATULATIONS CINDY
I'm waiting for the official notice I just couldn't help myself...
  ;D  ;D  ;D

NY, I really really keep my fingers crossed & hope things work out come Monday. And about MM, I am glad he is doing stuff for the baby, can't you ask him for help? I mean he is 50% of the reason you are not working now... just to get thru this tight spot. What's this about coming after Thanksgiving, is it this week?

Take good care,
Now I really have to reest my arm... Night all,
« Last Edit: November 17, 2007, 07:27:30 PM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #48 on: November 17, 2007, 10:35:53 PM »
Good evening ladies:

Viv, I myself enjoy the scenery with the changes in seasons (I'm in northcentral Indiana) but I do not like the cold weather, believe me.  However, I like the real hot and humid weather even less.  I guess the ideal place would be Hawaii (yeah, right). 

Wini, it sounds like you need to talk again with the gyn.  You know you can always vent here.  Sorry about your finger.  Superglue?  That's a new one on me. 

Queen, I hope you're feeling better.  If it is a stomach virus, I hope it goes away quickly!  How are you keeping your sugars up if you're not eating?  Just please be careful.

Drag, It's so good to here from you.  I hope you continue to post here frequently.  We really do care about you.

Cin, where are you girl?  I bet you're out having the time of your life with Iceman.  I'm so, so glad you got a job offer.  You just go on girl!

I watched the movie Sicko tonight and recommend it to everyone living in  America.  It's just that good.  I also went to an NA meeting, which was good.  The topic was recovery and relapse.  There was a girl there who is just coming off of a relapse, so it was a good topic.  We read the chapter about it out of the NA book.  Then after that we went out for coffee at a local restaurant.  Oh, by the way, Notre Dame won their home game today.  It's the only home game they've won this season.  And I don't really care.  When they're playing here, people act like it's the second coming of Christ.  It's just ridiculous.  Anyway, tomorrow is church and we're having a potluck afterwards for Thanksgiving.  I don't know what all we're going to have to eat.  I got some chocolate chip/pumpkin bread today at the local farmer's market that I'm going to take.  So I better be off to bed.  Have a good one ladies-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #49 on: November 17, 2007, 11:17:45 PM »
Queen - Sorry your not feeling good. My heart goes out to you. Get better soon.

Dragonette - Sounds like your doing some good soul searching. I guess you'll figure out eventually what works for you as far as discloser.

Nygurl225 - I feel so bad that your getting the run around. I hope everything works out for you soon. You dont need the stress. I'm glad the baby's father is helping. Thats nice to hear.

Bettytacy - Yeah, super glue will hold a wound closed and since my nail was cut too it keeps the nail from getting snagged on something and tearing it off.

I'm all finished with most of the cooking and cleaning for my Thanksgiving tommorrow. I just have to heat everything back up and cook some of the veggies and make the salad.
I asked the GYN if I could get something to stop my period completely since it is so painful for me.  Of course she decided she wanted to experiment with regulating my hormones to see if it will make the periods less painful. 
I have a tubal ligation I sure as hell dont need a period. She seemed leery about the whole thing. Said something to the effect that I'd have to have a period at least every three months to keep my uterus healthy. I dont even want the damn thing. LOL
I've had someone else mention the depo <sp> shot.  That would be awesome if I didnt gain weight from it. I'm just getting comfortable being a size 10. I dont want to go back to a 12.

Anywho, ya'll have a nice weekend. Nice chatting at you.

Wendy


Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #50 on: November 18, 2007, 03:43:27 AM »
Queen, how's the belly? Hope you slept the pain away & are ready to stuff yourself like a turkey.

My hand hurts like hell so I wish you all in advance a Happy & Joyful Thanksgiving. Take good care,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #51 on: November 18, 2007, 07:10:39 AM »
Good morning ladies:

Wini, my doctor told me almost the same thing when I asked him about getting the depo shot.  Oh, and my tubes are tied as well.  He said it wouldn't be healthy for a woman my age (42) to have her periods stopped.  I'm like WTF?  I think doctors are divided on this issue.  I know before I was on quite a bit of estrogen and progesterone (actually it was being prescribed by a crazy psychiatrist) and my periods stopped and at one point I had to have a D&C.  Anyway, I'm glad you got your Thanksgiving meal prepared despite you feeling so bad.  I hope you feel better soon.  Periods are such a bitch. 

Really nothing new to report since last night.  I'm anxiously awaiting Cin's report on her weekend and new job!  For all you other ladies, have a good one-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #52 on: November 18, 2007, 07:28:48 AM »
BT - I watched the movie Sicko tonight and recommend it to everyone living in  America.  It's just that good.

Saw it and agree with you.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #53 on: November 18, 2007, 01:22:15 PM »
Hi GFs~

Yes, I have been with Iceman all weekend since he arrived Friday night.  He left a little while ago to go freeze his ass off at his daughter's soccer tournament.  They won the first game, so they are in the finals and Iceman gets to freeze his ass off some more at a second game this afternoon, lol!  He's coming back here tonight to warm me up, though!  ;)

We went to a party last night, Iceman's longtime buddy turned 50 this past week, so we went to his place.  Had a lot of fun just hanging out, there were about 25 people there and it was catered.  Yummy!  Oh and get this, the friend's wife had to put 50 candles on this huge cake (flashback to small inferno in my bathroom during 45-candle cake lighting ceremony last Sunday, lol....).  The wife found these candles that are all connected by paper or something.  You light one and the flame jumps from wick to wick and the entire cake lights in about 2 seconds.  Well, shit.  LOL, wish I had known that last week!   ;D

I guess I'll touch on the big issue here because I want to be supportive of my Queen.  Queen, I have always been very rigid in the "rules" I have set for myself, and no matter how uncomfortable I was with something, I would force myself to do what I thought was the right thing.  I have disclosed to about 30 guys in the past 10 years or so, and it was never easy until this summer.  I'd say 25 out of 28 guys I disclosed to before this summer rejected me, whether it was a friendly shying away, a mature talk with a "no thanks", no replies to my emails, or maybe another last date to see if it would work and it didn't.....so many different scenarios.  (Three guys DID accept me and I had LTRs with them....).  (Jay and Iceman have been the easiest to disclose to because of my strength and because of their maturity.) Yes, rejection left me down and dejected, and all I could do was move forward.  Keep in mind these were guys that I had dated only a handful of times, which is when the disclosure thing would start to rear its ugly head with me personally.  For me, I just didn't feel right dating a guy more than three or four times and not disclosing, mainly because things were starting to get intimate.  I knew that if I wanted things to go to the next level for he and I, I had to disclose, and so I did.  I don't mean to belittle dating, but in hindsight, maybe it was just practice, practice for me to get to the right place with myself mentally, and to become stronger. 

When I first started disclosing to guys, I would cry and sob and be so emotional, apologizing to the guy.  I now realize I had nothing to apologize for.  Why should I apologize for being me?  Cindy wasn't/ isn't "a virus," she's just a girl with a health concern.  I know that statement there may oversimplify what we deal with as far as being pos, but I had to tell myself and prove to myself that I could become stronger and more confident.

It was so tough telling Jay a month ago about my status, because I really had grown fond of him and most of all, I respected him.  He is a very mature, level-headed 48yo, and I knew he would be open with his feelings.  Sure, he has stayed away, hasn't asked me out, but I knew that would be the case that evening when he walked out the door.  And so I moved onward to divide and conquer, in hopes of finding a good man.  I never thought I would find a really great man, like I've found with Iceman.  Its so hard to explain, GFs, he makes every other man I have ever dated seem like a first grader in comparison.  I am fortunate in that he is mature, he communicates, he is compassionate, and my goodness he can RELATE because of his own little chronic health situation.  The chances of he and I crossing paths was zero, but somehow it happened because I have kept trying.

So, Queen, I understand that you have a stigma in your community.  I understand that the dating pool isn't as full of toads and potential suitors as it is down here.  I understand that your past has been very difficult for you to deal with because your family has been a royal pain in your majesty's ass (_l_).  Each one of us is unique here.  We all have different ways of dealing with things as far as disclosure.  It all comes down to one thing, I believe.  Are you comfortable with yourself, and will you be able to live with the consequences of your actions, whatever they may be?  I don't think I would ever be intimate with someone before disclosing, but I also didn't think I would sleep with Stone on the first date last August.  I had never done something like that before.  I have always tried to play by the rules and do the right thing.  But you know what?  I threw caution to the wind, slept with the man early on because he was pos too, and it wasn't an issue.  I kept thinking I would wake up the next day and feel horrible about what I did, thinking maybe I had compromised my own beliefs.

You know what?  I was fine with myself, and comfortable in my own skin.  So, I see Queen as doing what she feels is best for her right now.  We all protect ourselves in different ways, esp when it comes to protecting one's heart.  So, what I did with Stone, that was my choice, and Queen, what she is doing with Rico, we all have to accept that as being Queen's CHOICE and just shut the hell up if we don't agree fully.  Just try to understand where she is coming from.  What Queen is doing may not be what you believe in, but we don't make up the personal rules for Queen, she does.  Queen is the one who looks in the mirror every day and says, "I know that what I am doing is best for ME, and I can handle this."

We need to support her in that. 

Love you, GF.

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: November 18, 2007, 01:24:35 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #54 on: November 18, 2007, 02:21:47 PM »
Hello ladies. just thought i would check in. Not much going on here, just chilling at the house. I have been chasing the chickens and examining them. We have 4 roosters and  about 18 hens including the  chicks. The roosters always fight but one of the younger ones got the worst of it yesterday and was covered in blood. Alex cut his beard with his spurs. I don't handle them much cause they have nits and are dirty but i needed to make sure he was okay.I doctor the cats and new dog we have , too. She is a dachshund, real cute but kinda scared. I like her anyway and she is not a biter so she is good in my book.         Worked last night, went okay but we have too many chiefs and not enough Indians. I am occasionally a supervisor(about 1 shift per week) but mostly just staff and it's frustrating when management has no idea what's going on.   Oh well, at least I have a job, no point in complaining about it but I appreciate that ya'll hear me.                                    On a brighter note, CONGRATULATIONS, Cindy. Wishing you the best of luck with your new job . 3 miles away, that's close. Hope that you enjoy it.                                                                  Queen, hope you are feeling better. How you handle your business with Rico is just that, your business. Do what you feel most comfortable with.  I remember you asking about my oldest. He is still in jail, has a final court date on the 29th. According to the offender page, he got probation for all those other charges. I think it will be intensive. We are going to talk to the DA and see about getting him in a adult group home when he gets released. We can't handle him here. Right before he got arrested, he pushed my mom. I am kinda used to physical fights with him, even though he is stronger than me, but I don't like the idea of him hitting or pushing my mom or him going off on little Robert. So he needs to be somewhere else.Hate it but I can't be worrying over their safety cause dad's not home much.                                                     Somebody else asked why I didn't want to date my negative coworker. Mostly it's fear I will accidentally give him the HIV. Dating among coworkers is probably frowned upon but I haven't tested that theory.  Also he has other health issues, such as  blocked arteries and stuff like that. I like that he wants me anyway but am too scared to put him at risk.  Maybe I will change my mind,maybe not.     Not much ;luck on the personals. Seems like I get hit up by the real prizes or my blunt personality puts the good ones off. I took my picture back down but will put another or the same one back up soon.                                                                             Hope everyone is well. Betty, EM, NY, Drag, anyone I have missed, hope you have a great thankgiving. I am working but since it will be a $100 shift(for about 5 hours), I will go in with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. And then  I get to come home and have Turkey and cheesecake. Yummy                                              Love ya'll. Cristy(edited to add a chicken picture)

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« Last Edit: November 18, 2007, 02:31:04 PM by cjc »

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #55 on: November 18, 2007, 03:03:00 PM »
Howdy Girls--

I am feeling better today, not sure what the stomach thing was all about. Rico came over last night and stayed the night with me, that seems to be a regular thing now. I see him after he works and he usually spends the night with me because he is off the next day, so basically I see him twice a week. It's good for me cause it allows me to miss him and I like that. Well, last night we were watching tv and was watching this one comedian named Paul Mooney, not sure if any of you are familiar with him but he was the guy who came up with Homey D. Clown on Living Color back in the day and he was like the right hand man of Richard Pryor. Anyhoo, Paul was speaking on Magic Johnson and him being poz, well I took that opening to talk to Rico about it and see how he feels on the subject. Come to find out, he has a few friends back where he is from who is poz and a sister who passed from AIDS. But even with that he is really misinformed about a lot of things and I had to educate him on a few things as well. With what he told me, he is sooooooo not ready for me to disclose to him yet but I think I will refer him to my ASO to get better informed and to get a test done. Not because he has been with me because I have remained to be safe with him but because I feel it is something he needs to do. He seemed to be amazed on how much I knew about the subject. I was so tempted to bring him to the forums but I think it would've freaked him out.

My son came to see shortly after Rico left today. It was good to see him. I gave him some condoms and gave him the news that I was seeing someone. Of course, I got the 3rd degree and he wants to meet him. I'm not concerned that he would say anything to Rico because we have had that discussion in the past, my son is happy that I am seeing someone but he is protective of me as well. My son is outspoken like myself, so there is no telling what would come out of his mouth... :D

Betty--- Honestly, I have not checked my sugars in a few weeks. I have been taking my meds faithfully though. I go through periods of checking my sugars then stop then go right back to it again. I usually do this because I get frustrated pricking my fingers so much then it doesn't want to give up any blood. I need to call my primary doc tomorrow to find out what my A1C was when I got it done on Halloween. But then I was more concerned with how I was doing with the Atripla/Ziagen.

NY--- It seems like MM is trying to do the right thing, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. I see you got NY as your avatar now. Do you watch the show? I do faithfully, can't wait to see what happens on Monday once Chance and his brother shows up.

Winiroo--- I have heard folks complain that the depo shot puts weight on them. I guess I am that small percentage that it doesn't. I have been on the shot now for a year or so and has not gained anything. I think the depo shot is a blessing, it has made me a much nicer person... ;D

I guess that is all for now. I need to work on some things so I will check back in later....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #56 on: November 18, 2007, 03:14:47 PM »
Good afternoon ladies:

OK, Cin, I am waiting to hear about your new job.  What will you be doing?  Is it paying you what you want?  I am so happy for you, with the new job and Iceman.  This should be a great holiday for you!  Do you have any snow yet?

Queen, I was just wondering how you were keeping your sugars from crashing.  But then again, we diabetics can tell when our sugar is crashing, I know I sure can.  I get all sweaty, shakey, my heart starts pounding, it's awful.  I was reading that if it lasts too long, someone can end up in a coma.  Glad your belly is feeling better.  You know how I feel about you disclosing, I've already told you that.  I knew something was up with Rico, now I know.  I think it would be a great idea to steer him to the ASO. 

Cristy, good to hear from you girl!  Nice chickens.  Actually, I don't know what constitutes a "cute" chicken, but they are nice looking, I guess. :)   I don't blame you for chekcing into a group home for your son.  It would probably be way too much for you to handle if he's getting violent, especially if he's that way with you and your mom. 

Anyone else, I hope it's going alright.  OH!  GUESS WHAT!   I did quit smoking today, after all.  I smoked a couple cigarettes this morning, then finally got tired of not being able to breathe and threw them out.  While I was in church, I had my apartment airing out, so now it smells like the "carmel apple" candle I got yesterday at the farmer's market.  The dinner after church was nice.  There was tons of food.  And it was all so good.  I didn't overeat either, which is so easy for me to do when I'm not smoking.  I'm not saying I won't, but just saying that I didn't today.  I even had just a wee-small slice of pie afterwards, instead of the usual chunk.   So this afternoon I have some homework that I have to do for my Child & Adolescent Psychology class.  I will have a paper due in there in a couple weeks, but I only do one assignment a day, unless I'm way motivated, which I am not today.  I want to do some Christmas shopping pretty soon, but I don't want to go when the stores will be overcrowded, which they were today.  So, anyways ladies, onward and upward.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline confusedme

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #57 on: November 18, 2007, 11:20:46 PM »
Hi ladies. Just stopping in to say hi. I've been to church today with my husband. He was in this big men's day program they were having and I feel like I have been sitting on a pew for 2 days.

Tomorrow we are going to talk to a contractor about my blueprints. I had plans to build a house just a few months ago and everything fell thru. Hoping for some good news tomorrow. I'll be checking in after I deal with that.
08/13/07 - Diagnosis confirmed
08/30/07 - T-cells 400, VL 6,500 (Baseline)
11/30/07 - T-cells 428, VL 9,950

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #58 on: November 18, 2007, 11:54:53 PM »
Hey Confused....Our Cowboys beat Cindy's Redskins.....We are 9-1.....Woooo fucking Hoooooooo. ;D..*turns out the light and closes the door*.....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Nygurl225

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #59 on: November 19, 2007, 11:10:10 AM »
Good morning ladies!

Hope everything is going well for you all today.

CONGRATS Betty!!!!!!  So glad you quit! Keep up the good work. Its hard but worth it!

Hi Queen. Well, Rico isnít ready for the big disclosure huh? Hopefully he becomes more informed about HIV and eventually (soon) you feel comfortable enough to disclose. Glad you got to see your son too. My question for you is, how did you tell your son you were Poz? As you know I have 3 children who are fairly young and Iíve often wondered when and how I should tell them. Any tips from you ladies would be helpful. And I do watch I love NY sometimes. Iím not big on watching TV but my oldest daughter LOVES the show, so I catch it sometimes. I figured the avatar was fitting since I go by NY.

Confused~ Hope all goes well with the new house.

As for me itís the same ole sh*t  I got a call back from the ASO this morning, they just needed more info on me before they could give my paperwork to a case worker. The guy who calls frustrates the hell outta me!! I think he must be new to the job because he doesnít seem to know what he is doing and asks the same questions over and over. He also has a VERY heavy accent and heís hard to understand. But I got through the call and hopefully a caseworker will call me soon. I pray!! Still nothing from disability or child support. Iím just sitting home waiting for the mail. Hopefully something good happens.

Lately Iíve had horrible heartburn and acid reflux which I know is normally during pregnancy, but this is getting REALLY bad. It has me in tears sometimes!! Well yesterday a new issue started. every time I eat, no matter what it is my stomach hurts like hell. Every swallow I take feels like Iím swallowing a rock that has been set on fire. Even if the food isnít acidic It happened with Ice cream last night. I know I should call the doc but I have the feeling theyíll just tell me itís acid reflux and its ďnormalĒ ugh. I guess Iíll just wait and see. Well, Back to the normal stuff for the day school work.  I may even begin Christmas decorating today. I need a boost in my spirits.

Oh and Cin howís the new job? Have you started yet?

Well, until later ladies.. Iím out!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #60 on: November 19, 2007, 11:14:27 AM »
No job start date yet, spoke to the recruiter today and she is confused, lol.  I am rushing out to go pee in a cup, but can post this afternoon.  Iceman was with me all weekend, just left this morning!  ;)

Oh and Queen, I was BORN in DC so at least I am rooting for my home team!   :P

Tee-hee!
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #61 on: November 19, 2007, 12:01:41 PM »
Good afternoon ladies:

NY, I do hope the burning feels better.  I remember when I was pregnant, one time I had it so bad, I was in tears also.  Of course, that was 24 years ago and treatments for it were different.  The things they used to do for it then they tell you not to do.  But if it's getting that bad, maybe you should talk to your doctor to see if there's any relief out there.  I hear you on the homework.  I just did a report for my Child & Adolescent Psychology class.  I am so ready for the break that's coming in about three weeks.

Cin, I'm looking foward to hearing about your new job.  I hope you post about it this afternoon.

Still no smoking for me.  I did some yoga this morning and I felt a lot better.  It was tough this morning though, having coffee without a cig.  But I definitely don't want to start again.  I even threw out the ashtrays this time! 

My dad may need to be moved to a nursing home in the near future.  He shakes all the time now, sometimes to the point where he can't get something in his mouth.  And he had to get some stool samples for the doctor, which makes me wonder why.  He had colon cancer in the past, and I'm wondering if it's back.  He has lost so much weight.  If it is colon cancer, he's not going to do anything about it; not that I would expect him to at this point.  I just hope we all make it through the holidays.   More later...
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #62 on: November 19, 2007, 01:18:50 PM »
Betty, i will keep your dad in my thoughts. That is  so scary that the cancer could be back. Hope it's just some kind of routine test. Sorry he had to be moved but maybe it's for the best, 24 hour staff and all that.       Congratulations on the not smoking. I never quit but cut down by half and I kept the rest of my Chantix so  I will try again soon.                                             NY, sorry things are like that, hope they get better soon.                                                  Moonlight, I hope the job is everything you want and need.                  Queen, I think you are right, he is not ready. Maybe you could get him some more info so it will be easier when the time comes.                        I had a okay morning except for one incident. I went to pick up  my Atripla, groceries and cigs for the house. I parked my car at a store, went in , and this guy in a work truck backed into my car. I got so mad. I ran after his truck, yelling at him and he didn't stop. I probably scared him half to death but damn, he hit my car!!!!!!!!!!  So I called the local police and gave them his tag number and they will take care of it. My poor little escort is not badly damaged. If he would have stopped, I probably would  have let it go but I know he saw me yelling and running after his truck. Fucking jerk!!!!!!!!!!!    Anyway, thanks for letting me vent about that. I know the police will catch him, cause I gave the tag number. Maybe I can pop the dent out and polish the paint smear off.                        Hope you ladies have a good day.     Cristy

Offline wishful

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #63 on: November 19, 2007, 01:21:22 PM »
Hey ladies..hope everyone had a good weekend!..Depo shots..well i have my 14 yr old on it...just had one today...her weight only changed about 1-2 lbs every visit..she is a slimmy tho..5'6 127..thick in the thighs like me but other than that she is thin...she has been on it 6 months now...i have never tried the depo for that fear..(prior to my tubal ligation)..and im no slimmy! So i didnt want anything extra...i hear the IUD is pretty good..dont know first hand..

NY:..heartburn at its worse..and acid reflux..i had it with my son..it felt soo bad like my whole torso was on fire on the inside...an ole wives tale is that means your baby will have a lot of hair..( my son didnt..lol)..and i had it toward the end of my preganct too..Hope u feel better...i dont think they gave me anything...
Live life to the fullest...

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #64 on: November 19, 2007, 01:55:15 PM »
Oh and Queen, I was BORN in DC so at least I am rooting for my home team!   :P

I actually use to like the Steelers back in the day of Terry Bradshaw and Franco Harris. But that is besides the point, girlie, just accept that my team spanked that ass.... :P

Christy--- I hope the police does catch the man who backed into your car. Sounds like to me he was afraid of something, maybe he didn't have insurance.

NY---  My son actually found out my status through my sister. I believe she told him hoping that he wouldn't want anything to do with me but it backfired on her. He actually asks me questions from time to time, not just about hiv but other stds. I make it a point to keep him informed and protected. Sorry to hear about the heartburn. I never had that problem with any of my kids and they all came out with heads full of hair. I would still contact your doctor, better safe than sorry.

Wishful--- That is how it is with me on the depo shot, a pound here or sometimes I lose a pound but has never gained more than that.

Just called my primary doc to check on my A1C results from Halloween. I am doing good, it is 5, I guess it is suppose to be under 6. Maybe I am finally getting everything under control.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2007, 02:38:20 PM by Queen Akasha »
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #65 on: November 19, 2007, 05:32:14 PM »
Hi GFs~

Whew I am tired today, must be from staying up all weekend long!  ;)  I am trying to get my timeline straight for Thanksgiving dinner, as I will be cooking a bird and everything by myself!

Queen~  A 5.0 for your A1C is excellent, damn you must eat rabbit food!  Mine has been just under 7.0 for a few years.  I'm at 6.9 now, and was 6.8 back in July.  The doc says that ADA guidelines want you under 7.0, but I need to improve.  BTW, I think Franco Harris is a hunk, is that whacked or what?  LOL

Wishful~  I just went off the pill after 19 years.  I think Sustiva interacted with it and messed up my cycle.  Everything is getting back to normal without the cramps I had as a teenager, so I am glad.

Cristy~  That sucks that your car got hit.  I would've been behind the wheel so fast and after that punk!  Good thing you got the tag number!

BT~I'm sorry to hear about your father's troubles, and I know how you must be missing your mother this time of year.  I am with you, GF.  I feel what you're going through, wish I could make things better for you somehow.  You have great energy and a great spirit about you, so find joy this season where you can.  You deserve that for yourself!

Sorry for the job details delay thing.  Its really weird how its happening, not the best situation in my opinion, but it will do.  I live in MD, and a recruiter from TX saw my resume on Career Builder.  She called and said she wanted to submit my info to this healthcare company, and the position was for "Senior Data Entry Clerk."  The first thing I told the young recruiter was this, that the company is notorius for underpaying its employees and I wouldn't work for cheap.  So, I get the call the other day saying I'm in, I don't need a face to face interview, just fill out the online application so they can do a background check, go for the drug test, and you'll start 11/26.

Well, the recruiter calls last Saturday and says she was wrong about the hourly rate, so it has gone down by a dollar, which is a load of crap, but its still $3 - $4 better than most jobs in this area, so I can try to get by on the wage.  Today she calls and asks if I have received an email link to sign up for payroll with, which I hadn't.  She also says it may take a few days to get my background check done, but as soon as its complete and clear I can start working.  Um......I ask her what the hell happened to the start date of 11/26, and she doesn't recall giving me that date.  I just don't like it when people don't have their shit together, esp recruiters.  They talk to enough candidates, so why don't they create a file and write down some notes already?  LOL  I guess the good thing is this, if I don't work next week, I am available Thursday and Friday when Iceman moves into his new place.  ;D 

My job is basically reviewing claims with errors and doing detail work in order to push them through.  I just hope I don't sit in a cubicle with 300 other people in the same room.  Sustiva and diabetes make it so I get distracted very easily.  Hell, I don't think I'll be talking with customers, I hope not, but this recruiter doesn't know much about what's going on.  I have to be patient.  I just know that the customer service reps for this company make beans, and my salary is ok.  It was just enough to get by on before they whacked the $1/hr off of the rate.  Its also a contract position, not necessarily for 90 days.  It may be contract for longer, so I have my MADAP paying for my COBRA health benefits through September.  Then its crunch time.

NY~  So sorry to hear about the heartburn!  I was going to suggest a glass of milk and then I read that it even happened with ice cream!   :o  I hope you can get some relief!

Confused~  I got a chuckle out of you "sitting on the pew for 2 days" thing!  LOL  I know my lipo butt would be in certain pain by that point!   ;D

Drag, Cam, Sun and Tendai~  How are you girls doing?

I read Ann's blog yesterday and was in tears, btw.  I couldn't believe that shit!  It reminded me of when Doofus split with me last December, just out of nowhere!  Ann, if you're reading this, you're in our thoughts!

Iceman asked me this morning why I wasn't married yet? ;)  He is such a flirt!  He kinda looks like Cal Ripken Jr.  who used to play baseball for the Orioles, and he was looking like Bruce Willis again last night.  Now we are saying "Yippee kai yay, mutha fucka" to each other, from "Live Free or Die Hard."  LOL  I need to see that, it comes out on DVD tomorrow, I think.

Iceman and I are both very happy.  He left the house at the crack of the crack this morning, around 530am and then I hear him pulling up 15 minutes later and knocking on the door.  He had forgotten his cell phone, but said the traffic was so bad that he was just going to snuggle with me for a few hours more.  Yay, or to quote Drag "Ah, bliss...."

Hope everyone is getting ready for a great holiday!  I am going to ask my mother if I can borrow her china to serve Thanksgiving Dinner on, since she and Dad are traveling for the holiday.  I was in the basement looking through the Christmas decorations today, and I brought my artificial tree upstairs.  I had to move some things around, and I found three serving platters that had belonged to my late grandmother.  I have never used them since receiving them in 2005, hell, I didn't even have a DR set to serve from until recently, lol.  I started crying when I unwrapped the platters, just sitting in the basement with the biggest smile on my face, and crying, remembering my grandmother.  One of the platters has a goddess-like woman in a flowing robe, holding a cornucopia (horn o'plenty) under her arm!  PERFECT for Thanksgiving!  Grandma was watching over me today or I may have never found those platters in the basement! 

Also found my Tarot cards too.  Oooooooo, spooky.

Cheech is getting very excited about turkey time, he doesn't quite get what is going on, but he knows its good.  He's getting a great vibe from me and Iceman, we have such a good time together, and Cheech is happy that we're happy, old doggie!

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #66 on: November 19, 2007, 08:50:51 PM »
Good evening ladies:

Cristy, that sucks royally that someone hit your car and then took off.  It's a good thing you got the license number.  I hope the police track him down and he ends up having to pay for your car's cosmetic work.  Hopefully, anyway,.......  BTW, my dad has not been moved yet.  Actually I talked to him a couple times today and he's supposed to be getting some kind of home care set up through his doctor.  I hope it happens soon, as I don't know how much longer he can be by himself. 

Cin, well, at least it's a job for now I suppose.  That serving platter you found sounds delightful.  So you're going to cook a whole Thanksgiving meal by yourself?  That's great, good luck with that.  I'm so happy you have someone special to spend the holiday with!  I have an artificial tree in the basement, but I doubt I will put it up.  I have a small one up on my surround sound with a couple nutcrackers by it and a Santa.  I also have a string of lights outside.  And in the kitchen, I have the manger scene on one of my shelves.  That will probably be the extent of my decorating this year.  If I brought the tree out, my cat would probably go into hiding until after Christmas! :D  Oh, I also bought her (the cat) a stocking and have some gourmet kitty treats in it and some play mice.  Even the stocking scared her when I showed it to her.LOL 

Other than that, still not smoking.  I got my report done that I was doing for my child & adolescent psych class.  Tomorrow I might try to go Christmas shopping.  I was thinking about going today when I was done with the report, but it was way to grey out for that.  I hope all you ladies have a good evening!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline confusedme

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #67 on: November 19, 2007, 09:22:10 PM »
Hey Confused....Our Cowboys beat Cindy's Redskins.....We are 9-1.....Woooo fucking Hoooooooo. ;D..*turns out the light and closes the door*.....

HELL YEAH!!!  ;D ;D :P :P ROMO & T.O. BABY!!!
Confused~  I got a chuckle out of you "sitting on the pew for 2 days" thing!  LOL  I know my lipo butt would be in certain pain by that point!   ;D

Girl I lack nothing in the booty department and I was dying! LOL

NY, thanks for the well wishes on the house but I am a little leery of this guy we talked to. We toured some of his work today and I was not impressed. He kept insisting that he had a large crew with limited training on a rushed schedule but it just didn't look good.

Nothing much else going on but the weird queasy feelings that pop up sometimes. I couldn't even finish my mcrib today.  :'(


08/13/07 - Diagnosis confirmed
08/30/07 - T-cells 400, VL 6,500 (Baseline)
11/30/07 - T-cells 428, VL 9,950

Offline dutch1955

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #68 on: November 20, 2007, 12:03:36 AM »
Hi Ciindy:
I have read many of your notes and wanted to respond many times but choose to wait.  I had to write now because I want to tell you that you can't keep going from one to the other.  Do you believe that the real person for you will find you.  I know it is difficult and that it can get lonely.  But I don't think you give the real ones a chance before you want to dive in.  Give yourself a chance to heal and then have faith and hope will bring it all to you in time.   You use the word sensitive as though its just that a word.  It takes time to get to know someone from the heart....not just a week or two.  People have lives that have been changed.  I know one of the most sensitive, brightest, artistic, loving man there is and his life was shattered for a time.  Our lives were shattered but strenght came with time and acceptance. 

Dutch 


Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #69 on: November 20, 2007, 12:30:35 AM »
*catches breath*.....Um, Dutch, Let me say Welcome to the Forums, I don't want to seem like I don't have manners. I think you could've worded your opinion a bit better about my girl, Cindy. You talk like she is some type of whore or something but you are trying to use the fact that you have read her posts as an excuse to say this. And how do you know that the person she is with now is not the person that was suppose to find her? And how do you expect to find the right one if not for some trial and error. I am sure you did not find your "love" on the first try. I think the saying goes, "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I really think you need to lighten up!!!!!! >:(
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Nygurl225

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #70 on: November 20, 2007, 01:25:57 AM »
Hi Ciindy:
I have read many of your notes and wanted to respond many times but choose to wait.  I had to write now because I want to tell you that you can't keep going from one to the other.  Do you believe that the real person for you will find you.  I know it is difficult and that it can get lonely.  But I don't think you give the real ones a chance before you want to dive in.  Give yourself a chance to heal and then have faith and hope will bring it all to you in time.   You use the word sensitive as though its just that a word.  It takes time to get to know someone from the heart....not just a week or two.  People have lives that have been changed.  I know one of the most sensitive, brightest, artistic, loving man there is and his life was shattered for a time.  Our lives were shattered but strenght came with time and acceptance. 

Dutch 




Where da hell did this all come from? I'm confused. With all do respect, your entitled to your opinion as is everyone on these forums, but damn isn't this a bit much for a first post? How about introducing yourself first instead of bashing someone from the get go. We all make decisions according to what WE think is best for OUR lives. I feel we are here to support eachother, weather we agree with the other person or not. Cindy is the only person who has to walk in her shoes, only she knows what is right for her. I encourage you to offer some info about yourself and maybe get to know people before passing judgement. Just a thought.

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #71 on: November 20, 2007, 05:45:51 AM »
Hi Ciindy:
I have read many of your notes and wanted to respond many times but choose to wait.  I had to write now because I want to tell you that you can't keep going from one to the other.  Do you believe that the real person for you will find you.  I know it is difficult and that it can get lonely.  But I don't think you give the real ones a chance before you want to dive in.  Give yourself a chance to heal and then have faith and hope will bring it all to you in time.   You use the word sensitive as though its just that a word.  It takes time to get to know someone from the heart....not just a week or two.  People have lives that have been changed.  I know one of the most sensitive, brightest, artistic, loving man there is and his life was shattered for a time.  Our lives were shattered but strenght came with time and acceptance. 

Dutch 



Dutch,

I just wanted to chime in with the others and tell you to back off on Cin.   She is a wonderful person who deserves all the happiness she's having right now.  She's had a rough time of it, and you have no right to come on these forums and for your first thread, just trash her.  We don't even know anything about you.  You do sound kind of bitter.  But you can't take your bitterness or what has happened in your life out on one of us.  And I noticed that that was the only response you have on these forums.  I'm glad you're here if you need support, but please don't come on here to trash someone.  Just sayin'.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #72 on: November 20, 2007, 06:21:41 AM »
I have not been posting b/c of my arm it's been awful in the last days. Yes I have voice rec but it takes ages to use so I have just been sidelined for a while.

Betty, I can just send you the sincerist wishes and hope that you will manage with your dad's problems and live and breathe thru this (isn't it great breathing without cigs? I haven't smoked in a month, keep on, one day at a time, it will be great). I have a lot on my mind when I read you, this looks like one of the hardest things in life and yet most people never talk about it. we see all these celebrities and they are like 30, 40, 50, and all we read is about the relationships and no one ever says how they take care of their parents. i was talking with my brother this week but he doesn't want to think about it, at all. I am so scared of it...

Cindy, what happened to that job with the GM? I am sorry things are so tangled. I don't like recruiters, sue me. I know there will be a breakthru for you. Sounds like a extremely cozy thanksgiving is coming up.

Cristy, hope the police find this guy. American police look very serious to me. Police in Israel are a sad joke. I would not have chased him either, you never know he might have a gun somewhere in the car... let the sheriff play sheriff. BTW I am glad your bro left & you have peace now.

NY, how did things go with the ASO? did you catch them? sorry about the burning feeling.

My arm hurts so I will sign off. so thanksgiving is when exactly? hope it will be a great one for all of you.

Hugs,


« Last Edit: November 20, 2007, 06:28:15 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #73 on: November 20, 2007, 09:51:50 AM »
Hi Ciindy:
I have read many of your notes and wanted to respond many times but choose to wait.  I had to write now because I want to tell you that you can't keep going from one to the other.  Do you believe that the real person for you will find you.  I know it is difficult and that it can get lonely.  But I don't think you give the real ones a chance before you want to dive in.  Give yourself a chance to heal and then have faith and hope will bring it all to you in time.   You use the word sensitive as though its just that a word.  It takes time to get to know someone from the heart....not just a week or two.  People have lives that have been changed.  I know one of the most sensitive, brightest, artistic, loving man there is and his life was shattered for a time.  Our lives were shattered but strenght came with time and acceptance. 

Dutch 

Well, I guess I had better respond and also say welcome to the Forums, Dutch. 

You are telling me I CAN'T go from one to the other?  LOL  Where did you come from?  Yeah, GFs, I'm a little perplexed, but.....This is exactly how I operate. What I choose to do is my business, and if I choose to share it here, I would expect you to be respectful of my choices. 

Dutch, I'm really not all that offended, I just think that you don't know me like you think you do.

Queen made good points about trial and error.  She knows that I strongly believe that if you sit idle, you are less likely to find what you are looking for.
And how do you know that the person she is with now is not the person that was suppose to find her? And how do you expect to find the right one if not for some trial and error.

I am very strong as my GFs here know, and I don't need much time to heal.  Sitting back idly and "healing" would be time passing me by, imo.

It takes time to get to know someone from the heart, not just a week or two.   I agree, but all I have had with Iceman IS a few weeks and we are building on what we have in just a short time. 

Who watched The Bachelor last night?  I recorded it and watched it this morning.  I was sad at the end for the women, but I was smiling to myself because I haven't been rejected by Iceman.  Over the years, I have pushed myself to disclose to neggies, knowing full well what I was risking -- my heart.  This is the first time I actually felt relatively comfortable with disclosing to a man, just because he was so caring and my gut told me it would be OK.  Hell, BT told me it would be OK!  ;)  You know what?  I was right about Iceman and we are very happy with each other.

This isn't junior high, this is the start of something wonderful.

OK, GFs, I think Dutch was just trying to help, but its obvious from reading that she doesn't know me very well, and probably hasn't read all 900 posts here, lol!  I'll let it go.

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: November 20, 2007, 09:59:00 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline srmn98

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #74 on: November 20, 2007, 12:19:04 PM »
Hi All,

I hope everybody is gearing up for a good Thanksgiving this week. Iím excited to have a little time off.

Thanks for all of your replies on the disclosure issue.

Cindy:  You said, ďSo, what I did with Stone, that was my choice, and Queen, what she is doing with Rico, we all have to accept that as being Queen's CHOICE and just shut the hell up if we don't agree fully. ď  I donít think the point of this board is for us all to agree. I have pointed out my opinions to ďQueenĒ in a polite and hopefully constructive way. Isnít this why we are all here ? Iím looking for a group of women that I can TALK to about anything, good or bad. Telling me to ďshut the hell upĒ is not constructive.

Queen -  I know that all of our situations are different, yet we all share the fact that we struggle with HIV and with disclose. So while I have not walked a mile in your shoes, and I will never understand your situation completely, I feel this forum is a good place to talk about difficult issues. And disclosure, clearly, is a difficult issue for all of us based on everything I read here. Iím not judging you. We all make choices, I have been far from perfect in my life. My disclosures have not always had happy endings. My family does not know my status, my coworkers do not know my status --  only a handful of friends and my boyfriend know. The stigma is difficult for me as well.  I know you are looking for the right time to disclose. I know you didnít plan to sleep with him. But I still hold the belief that sex before disclosure is unfair to your partner. Not to be clichť, but I believe we should treat others and we would hope to be treated. Would any of us want our partnerís not to disclose before sex ? Think long and hard about it Ė if you were negative, and starting to date somebody Ö and then AFTER sex they disclosed their status --  how would you feel ? Would you trust that person ? Iím sorry Ė I know these are hard things to say, and hard things to hear Ė but I think they need to be said. We are all human. Sure, life happens. We donít plan everything. We make mistakes. It is OK, we are not perfect. Iím not perfect --- but I have friends that call me out on my shit when they see it. And I love them for it Ė I need people to call me out. So Iím  telling you how I feel. And Iím not keeping my mouth shut just because itís hard to hear. Iím not keeping my mouth shut because it is isnít a pretty thing to say. Iím speaking from my heart Ė and I support everybody out there to disclose before sex.

So I hear a few of you telling me that I am judging here. I hear a few of you implying if I donít have something nice to say that I should not say anything at all. So I wonder, when do we stand up and speak our minds ?  Letís put forth an example here and see how people feel:  Say you had a really close friend that was POZ. Man/ Woman whatever. And say that person was interested in a good friend of yours that was NEG. Again, Man/Woman whatever. And say these two people started falling for each other. And say you knew that your NEG friend did not know your POZ friend was POZ. And they started having sex. How would you feel ???  Would you be worried about your friends ? I would be worried about BOTH of my friends. I would be worried about my NEG friend that they did not know they were at risk. I would be worried about my POZ friend that he/she was unable to disclose. What would I do ? I would encourage my POZ friend to disclose. So, thatís what I am doing here. Iím not judging, Iím not making excuses, Iím not scolding, Iím not applauding. Iím speaking my mind as to what I think is best for stopping one more person from becoming HIV positive. We all have different view of disclosure ethics. You gals can all disagree with me. But if you look deep into your hearts, I have a hard time believing that some piece of you doesnít agree. Maybe it is the piece of you that remembers how you became POZ Ė maybe it was by somebody not disclosing. It hurts. HIV hurts. This world hurts. Relationships hurt. Rejection hurts. Life hurts. And yes, disclosure hurts. But it comes with the package of HIV. We are stuck with it. So I think we should be encouraging of each other to go through with it. This is after all a forum about HIV, women, and dating.

Maybe some of my opinions originate with how I was infected. Hereís another topic that will upset some of you. But I ALWAYS used condoms except with two of my boyfriends that have since tested negative. I went to the doctor with both of these ex-boyfriends to verify their test results. So, I got HIV either from unprotected oral sex (which for some reason folks on AIDSMEDS seem to disagree) OR I got HIV while using condoms. I always checked the condoms to makes sure they didnít break, etc Ė so I can only guess I got it through oral sex. Please donít question my memory on this, etc Ė Iím telling the truth and my memory is not selective. So, this being the case Ė in my EXPERIENCE Ė there is always some risk of passing on HIV Ė no matter how small the risk is, no matter how unlikely Ė nothing is 100%. So this is part of why I feel so strongly about disclosure Ė in my experience condoms might not be enough.

Beyond this, I think there is an emotional component to the whole disclosure issue for our partners. It took my boyfriend a long time to get used to the idea of my being HIV positive. It took a long time for him to become comfortable with protected sex --  we are still working on it in fact. But I think it is his right to take his time getting comfortable with my HIV status. So I think when we are thinking about disclosure it is important to think about the rights of our partners-- what do they deserve as fellow human beings ? In my opinion, they deserve honesty and the chance for them to decide for themselves.

So, it is a complicated issue. There are your privacy rights, there are the rights of your partner Ė there are different ideas out there on what constitutes risk. I can only hope that my words cause all of us to think about disclosure. Of course we will all continue to make our own personal decisions, but this is how I see it.

Queen, please donít take this as an attack, it isnít. Itís my take on a very difficult issue Ė and you can take from it what you will.

Best regards,

Sara


Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #75 on: November 20, 2007, 04:38:13 PM »
Hi Sara

I'm glad you posted. Let me just say one thing, i don't beleive that by having protected sex with a neg partner we put them at risk. I beleive the reason for disclosure for me would be not to upset my partner and to avoid a worse backlash, so to speak. I already said that. I don't beleive that protected sex with a poz partner, esp. an undetectable one, esp. a female one, can get a neg person infected. If I beleived that, I would never ever have sex with my own BF... as far as oral, forgive me for the bluntess, but the man would have to have very bad mouth/gum health and be taking in large amounts of your inner fluids [b/c only the female juices near the uterus are infection, not the ones from the glands at the entrance of the vagina] to be even at any risk at all. This is what I read and was told, not just here on the forums but by a sexologist who advised me and my BF when we started having sex, who works here at the public health clinic. She was btw more conservative, or strict if you like, than the people here, considering man to woman infection possible under the conditions of a high VL, a large amount of cum in a sore throat or bad, wounded gums. Again sorry for being so graphic i just feel that we need to be specific here if we say that something will lead to infection.
But I am glad you brought this up again, b/c it reminded me of something I wanted to write to Cristy and I forgot b/c I couldn't use my arm (it's much better now after a long workout  at the gym - excercise is good for RSI, being static at the desk is not). Cristy, you mentioned that your Friend, who is OK with you being poz, wants to date, and that your reason for keeping away is fear of infecting him. Cristy, I would really like to see you happy, I don't know nothing about this particular guy, but if the only reason keeping you away from him is this reason, I would hate to see you shut yourself away for that. I can't think of all the right cliches right now with daring, courage, risk, etc, maybe some of the native english speakers will come up with them. just want to see you happy, you deserve that, don't shut yourself off...

Anyway Sara I too think we should be able to freely discuss things and speaking for myself I am sure you spoke from the best intetions. I told Queen upfront that I think disclosing before sex is easier and less scary, but it is her choice, as far as Rico being infected I am not concerned at all. I am just concerned about him being upset but Queen is a big girl with a feel for the specific situation there.

All the best to you, Happy Thanksgiving


« Last Edit: November 20, 2007, 04:40:08 PM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #76 on: November 20, 2007, 06:13:12 PM »

Queen -  I know that all of our situations are different, yet we all share the fact that we struggle with HIV and with disclose. So while I have not walked a mile in your shoes, and I will never understand your situation completely, I feel this forum is a good place to talk about difficult issues. And disclosure, clearly, is a difficult issue for all of us based on everything I read here. Iím not judging you. We all make choices, I have been far from perfect in my life. My disclosures have not always had happy endings. My family does not know my status, my coworkers do not know my status --  only a handful of friends and my boyfriend know. The stigma is difficult for me as well.  I know you are looking for the right time to disclose. I know you didnít plan to sleep with him. But I still hold the belief that sex before disclosure is unfair to your partner. Not to be clichť, but I believe we should treat others and we would hope to be treated. Would any of us want our partnerís not to disclose before sex ? Think long and hard about it Ė if you were negative, and starting to date somebody Ö and then AFTER sex they disclosed their status --  how would you feel ? Would you trust that person ? Iím sorry Ė I know these are hard things to say, and hard things to hear Ė but I think they need to be said. We are all human. Sure, life happens. We donít plan everything. We make mistakes. It is OK, we are not perfect. Iím not perfect --- but I have friends that call me out on my shit when they see it. And I love them for it Ė I need people to call me out. So Iím  telling you how I feel. And Iím not keeping my mouth shut just because itís hard to hear. Iím not keeping my mouth shut because it is isnít a pretty thing to say. Iím speaking from my heart Ė and I support everybody out there to disclose before sex.

So I hear a few of you telling me that I am judging here. I hear a few of you implying if I donít have something nice to say that I should not say anything at all. So I wonder, when do we stand up and speak our minds ?  Letís put forth an example here and see how people feel:  Say you had a really close friend that was POZ. Man/ Woman whatever. And say that person was interested in a good friend of yours that was NEG. Again, Man/Woman whatever. And say these two people started falling for each other. And say you knew that your NEG friend did not know your POZ friend was POZ. And they started having sex. How would you feel ???  Would you be worried about your friends ? I would be worried about BOTH of my friends. I would be worried about my NEG friend that they did not know they were at risk. I would be worried about my POZ friend that he/she was unable to disclose. What would I do ? I would encourage my POZ friend to disclose. So, thatís what I am doing here. Iím not judging, Iím not making excuses, Iím not scolding, Iím not applauding. Iím speaking my mind as to what I think is best for stopping one more person from becoming HIV positive. We all have different view of disclosure ethics. You gals can all disagree with me. But if you look deep into your hearts, I have a hard time believing that some piece of you doesnít agree. Maybe it is the piece of you that remembers how you became POZ Ė maybe it was by somebody not disclosing. It hurts. HIV hurts. This world hurts. Relationships hurt. Rejection hurts. Life hurts. And yes, disclosure hurts. But it comes with the package of HIV. We are stuck with it. So I think we should be encouraging of each other to go through with it. This is after all a forum about HIV, women, and dating.

Maybe some of my opinions originate with how I was infected. Hereís another topic that will upset some of you. But I ALWAYS used condoms except with two of my boyfriends that have since tested negative. I went to the doctor with both of these ex-boyfriends to verify their test results. So, I got HIV either from unprotected oral sex (which for some reason folks on AIDSMEDS seem to disagree) OR I got HIV while using condoms. I always checked the condoms to makes sure they didnít break, etc Ė so I can only guess I got it through oral sex. Please donít question my memory on this, etc Ė Iím telling the truth and my memory is not selective. So, this being the case Ė in my EXPERIENCE Ė there is always some risk of passing on HIV Ė no matter how small the risk is, no matter how unlikely Ė nothing is 100%. So this is part of why I feel so strongly about disclosure Ė in my experience condoms might not be enough.

Beyond this, I think there is an emotional component to the whole disclosure issue for our partners. It took my boyfriend a long time to get used to the idea of my being HIV positive. It took a long time for him to become comfortable with protected sex --  we are still working on it in fact. But I think it is his right to take his time getting comfortable with my HIV status. So I think when we are thinking about disclosure it is important to think about the rights of our partners-- what do they deserve as fellow human beings ? In my opinion, they deserve honesty and the chance for them to decide for themselves.

So, it is a complicated issue. There are your privacy rights, there are the rights of your partner Ė there are different ideas out there on what constitutes risk. I can only hope that my words cause all of us to think about disclosure. Of course we will all continue to make our own personal decisions, but this is how I see it.

Queen, please donít take this as an attack, it isnít. Itís my take on a very difficult issue Ė and you can take from it what you will.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I respect what you have to say, Sara. That is your opinion and obviously you feel very strongly about it as I do my own. Just as you can't comment on the specifics of my situation, I really can't with yours either. The person that infected me did not disclose to me but he also did not even try to protect me either. In my case with Rico, I may have taken the choice away from him which some can say is wrong but I do feel as though I am protecting him by insisting that a condom be worn at all times when sex comes into play. Now what I have learned since being a part of these forums is that since I am undetectable, it is harder for me to pass anything on to him and that it is also more difficult for a woman to transmit the virus to a man. Knowing this makes me feel that I am being responsible and not throwing caution to the wind. And like Dragonette said, I don't feel like at this point that I can infect him.

And you may be right, he may be pissed that I took the choice away from him but at the same time I am hoping that he can understand why I did. I don't feel it was me being selfish but when I explain to him why with how I have been treated by others that he may be able to understand. Another reason that I have not disclosed to him yet is because he is really misinformed about a lot of things in regards to HIV. I am hoping to change that by explaining things to him which I have already and by pointing him in the direction of my ASO. When he is more educated on it then he will be able to see how I was being responsible by protecting him. And honestly, I am hoping he will understand because when it came to our first encounter, he didn't even have a condom, I did but he didn't seem worried about not having one either which to me was kind of reckless considering that he did not know me that well. I guess he was going by the fact that I didn't look sick.

After all this, I am hoping you can see where I am coming from even if you can't relate or do not agree with my methods. I hope this helps not just you Sara but others here who may be wondering. I think it is great that folks can just jump out there and disclose. I am working on that not ignoring it as some may have thought. Just bear with me, I guess is what I am saying here. When the time comes for me to disclose and if Rico does not want to be with me then so be it but if he can accept me for who I am and why I did what I did then I will be the happiest Queen on this Earth.....
« Last Edit: November 20, 2007, 06:15:38 PM by Queen Akasha »
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
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Offline confusedme

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #77 on: November 20, 2007, 09:43:21 PM »
Drama is lurking everywhere. All I can say is wow. I had a lot of drama in my life today. It must be in the stars. Since I have so much surrounding me right now, I think I'll just step back from this one. Have a great night ladies. I'll check in tomorrow.
08/13/07 - Diagnosis confirmed
08/30/07 - T-cells 400, VL 6,500 (Baseline)
11/30/07 - T-cells 428, VL 9,950

Offline Nygurl225

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #78 on: November 20, 2007, 10:58:34 PM »
I agree with you confused. I had much drama tonight with a crazy ex. The father of my other kids, pretty much he just wanted to get info on my personal life (because he obviously hasn't moved on with his own life) and when i wouldn't give it to him he tried everything in his power to pick a fight with me. I ended up telling him to move on and get some therapy, he hung up on me, lol.  :D

Besides that, not much change in my situation. Still no call from the ASO, still no money, still just lots of BS. As for MM, he got a flat tire and bent a rim on his car. He cant get a new rim until Monday due to the Thanksgiving holiday. So he won't be up here this week as planned ??? I'm not sure weather to be mad (which I am a bit pist) or understanding since this is no fault of his own. I can't help but feel disappointed, and upset. I'm wrestling with my emotions right now. I'm not sure what to feel. But it is what it is, I guess i just have to deal with it.

Well, girls I hope your all doing well.As far as the disclosure issue, it seems everybody has their own life experiances which contribute to their opinions. We are all entitled to them and I don't think anyone is really wrong. With that I'm out for now. Good night ladies

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #79 on: November 20, 2007, 11:31:52 PM »
Hi GFs~

Yes, disclosure can sure stir up drama here.

Sara~  If you know me well enough from our posts here, you know I have a funny, sarcastic sense of humor.  My saying "we need to shut the hell up if we don't agree fully" is my way of saying show some tact with certain people and certain subjects, i.e. Queen and disclosure.  I am sorry if I offended you with my choice of words.  I really didn't mean to piss you off, if I did.  Its just that I know this topic runs very deep with Queen and is very difficult for her to deal with.  To see her engaging in a relationship with someone makes me very happy, as she was down in the dumps a lot over the summer with regards to the man scene.  Boo-WHO?   ;D

I certainly understand your values and morals, and you saying treat others as you'd like to be treated, with the disclosure issue.  I appreciate you sharing your personal experiences at length in that post above, it shows how much this HIV stigma frustrates us all, and I know many of us can relate to what you posted.  I agree with Drag, I have told Queen that I am concerned more about the trust issue with Rico, since she didn't disclose before the fact, more so than her passing the virus to him.

OK, so I'll say it.  I have always disclosed before getting close with someone, hence "many a toad has hopped away."  I never thought I would understand Queen's actions with Rico, but now I do.  She is doing what is best for her, and taking pride in knowing that even though she hasn't disclosed, she is making sure that Rico is safe when he's with her.  Queen is stepping up to the plate and becoming stronger through her actions.  We are all on different levels with disclosure, but I think we can all agree -- it potentially sucks.

I put up my artificial tree tonight and got the lights strung.  Hopefully Iceman and I can hang the decorations after Thanksgiving dinner, or at least have some mood lighting.  :P

Have a great night, and don't play in traffic tomorrow, its gonna be nuts!

~ Cindy

HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #80 on: November 21, 2007, 01:47:12 AM »
Well girls let me say this one last thing about the disclosure issue and I am done with it. As I have said in my earlier post, I respect Sara's opinion on the matter. I have explained myself because I did not want anyone to assume anything but understand how I feel and why I am going about things the way I have. I was not looking to cause any type of drama or tension in the thread. This thread was not meant for that and I have seen how it has suffered to an extent because of it. So, let's move ahead shall we?

I hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving. It will be the first turkey or Thanksgiving dinner I have ever cooked. I will be getting things started tonight sometime since it is technically Wednesday. For those of you traveling, please be safe and don't eat too much..... ;D Confused, isn't it tradition for our Cowboys to be playing on Thanksgiving? Who is our next victim we have to serve up with a healthy heaping of defeat? ;D ;D ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline confusedme

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #81 on: November 21, 2007, 01:52:08 AM »
Queen, our boys will host the Jets at 3:15 Thanksgiving day. I will be watching.
08/13/07 - Diagnosis confirmed
08/30/07 - T-cells 400, VL 6,500 (Baseline)
11/30/07 - T-cells 428, VL 9,950

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #82 on: November 21, 2007, 07:56:52 AM »
Good morning ladies:

Day #3 without cigarettes.  I still have a  hard time breathing, but not like it is when I'm puffing down two packs a day.  I've started doing some yoga, as it helps with the deep breathing. 

NY, an ASO is like a government agency.  I would keep calling them until you get what you need.  You know how government agencies can be.  Don't worry about bothering them.  If they had something they wanted to get ahold of you about, you know they would keep calling you until they got what they wanted.  So keep trying!  BTW, have you checked out the local food pantries?  I wonder if they're doing something a little special because of Thanksgiving. 

Queen, your first Thanksgiving dinner, eh?  Will you be using a turkey bag to cook the bird in?  I love those thing.  They make it so much easier. 

Cin, will you be using a turkey bag?  You are so motivated, putting up your Christmas decorations.  I've only got a few up, and that's going to be it for this year.  It's only my and my cat.  I do have her (my cat's) stocking hanging up in the living room with some goodies in it.  I went and got her a little bed with a cover over it yesterday.  I would wrap it, but the rattle of paper scares the shit out of her, so on Christmas morning, if her present was wrapped, she would probably hide under the bed when I unwrapped it! :D  She is the most skiddish cat.  But I love her. 

Today I'm making a pie to take to my sister's tomorrow.  It's a recipe I found in a magazine and it seems to be really easy to make.  Oh, also, for us diabetics.  I bought some of the Splenda brown sugar blend.  It's really good.  And there's recipes on the back of it, so maybe I'll get creative at Christmas and make a few.  My brother is diabetic also, and alternative sweets would be something nice for him and I.   Of course, I'm not going to not eat the "real" sweets at Christmas.  That just seems sacreligious. :D   I'll probably check in later tonight, after my child & adolescent psychology class.  I hope all you ladies have a good day.  Like Cin said, don't play in the traffic today-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #83 on: November 21, 2007, 08:44:56 AM »
such drama. and this Dutch person just disappears after starting it..

BT- hang in there girl! i'm sure the breathing will get better with the yoga and i heard the longer u dont smoke the better your lungs get. your health can only improve from now without all that poison.

NY - good to see u in control regards your ex. guess now he knows he cant push u aroung huh? sorry about MM.  i know its disappointing. chin up girl. who knows maybe he can make other travel arrangements. i mean his car isnt the only vehicle around is it?

damn gotta go make some calls.
stay here. i will be back. ;)

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #84 on: November 21, 2007, 09:39:14 AM »
Hi GfS~

Wow, Dallass and the Jets on Turkey day!  That will be a great game to watch as I try not to fall into the oven while taking out the turkey!  LOL   ;D

Tom (turkey) has been in the fridge for 48 hours now and is still not thawing much.  I may have to get up extra early tomorrow and do the final thaw in the sink.  This is the second time (or is it third?) that I have cooked a turkey. 

Queen, remember to baste, baste, baste!  Mom says do it every half hour, but I do it every 15 minutes.  Also, let the bird "sit" for at least 30 minutes after you take it out of the oven -- makes for a juicier bird if you don't cut into it right away.  Don't worry, it will stay hot for a good hour!

BT~  I'm not using a turkey bag.  I am getting so nervous about the timing for everything.  I have never made homemade mashed potatoes, so tomorrow morning I will be peeling away, for love, lol!  Does anyone know how much milk and butter to add initially?  I know its "to taste" but goodness, this could be crazy!  Also, don't you put a pinch of nutmeg or some spice in there?  Yep, I'm gonna be winging it, lmao!

Your cat cracks me up!  Cheech is afraid of wrapping paper, too, and also plastic bags!  He and I were sitting looking at the tree last night after I got the lights on it.  I don't have any decorations on it, just fluffed the artificial branches and got the lights working.  Its a good start.  I'll haul everything else out tonight.  Congrats on the quitting smoking again, GF.

It will make for a cozy Thanksgiving, having the tree up and decorations out, somehow I think I will be at Iceman's new place a lot after this weekend, helping him get settled in. 

I wish to God that my other little doggie, Casie, was here this holiday season.  I miss her terribly....*smiles listening to Cheech snoring in the hallway*  :)

~ Cindy

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« Last Edit: November 21, 2007, 09:43:30 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
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Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #85 on: November 21, 2007, 09:43:50 AM »
Boy...everyone has an opinion. I hate it when people come in add their 2 cents when they don't know the whole picture. I said this before and I will say it again...everyone has their own reasons for why they do the things they do and it is not for us to judge. There, done...can we put this away?

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! I am looking forward to all the good food!  :) Enjoy your family, loved ones or whoever you are spending time with.

Offline Nygurl225

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #86 on: November 21, 2007, 11:33:53 AM »
Hi Ladies! ;D

Well this morning has ben spent making phone calls in an attempt to get some damn money!!! :-\ But besides that I've been pretty lazy, I'm exausted. I'm getting ready now to get my behind moving.I want to begin to decorate for Christmas. I've wanted to for a week now but I've been so tired. I think I need to just jump into it already.

Thanks to my best friend I'm feeling a bit better today, she called me this morning and made me laugh till I almost peed my pants. I needed that. So theres really nothing new going on in my life but I guess no news is better then Bad news right?

Betty~ I'm all set for Thanksgiving and pretty set as far as food goes. I'm keeping food pantires in mind in case that changes. I still haven't spoken to anyone from the ASO, but I will continue to call them. I've also left numerous messages for social services. Maybe they can help me in some way. This is so frustrating for me because I'm a workaholic and not used to this. I'm used to being able to count on a paycheck. But such is life so I have to deal with it.

To all the other ladies, I hope you all have a great day and a great Holiday. No matter what rough times we have faced I believe we always have things to be thankful for. Have a good one girls!!!! I'm off to make my house festive!! ;D

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #87 on: November 21, 2007, 07:27:11 PM »
Good evening ladies:

Well, this is my second attempt to post something.  I really wish this site would get it together.

Cin, I'm not really sure about a certain "amount" of butter and milk for potatoes.  You just put some in, mash, see if it needs more, add, mash etc.  Last year, my niece put an onion in the middle of the turkey and when it was done, chopped up the onion and added it to the potatoes and it was very tastey.  At the Thanksgiving meal at church, someone put shredded cheese on hot mashed potatoes and that was very good also.  I'm sure you'll do fine. 

I just treasure my cat.  She was dropped off at the Pet Refuge here when she was a kitten and was there for two years when I got her.  The two rooms that they have the cats in are huge and full of cats/kittens.  So she had been around a large group of cats for a couple years.  I think that's why she's so nervous. I always tell people she has post-traumatic stress disorder from being there. :D  I'm sure your little Cassie is looking down drooling over what her mommy's going to be making tomorrow.  Just love Cheech!

NY, with social services, again a government organization.  Just keep calling these places until they help you.  They will eventually.  And yes, humor is a great thing.  When my mum was in her last days and still cognisant, we would joke with her and put things on the t.v. that were funny.  She just loved that.

Today I have a warm place to sleep, an abundance of food, people (and a cat) who love me, clean clothes to wear, and good, loving memories of my mum.  And for these things, I'm thankful.  Have a good one ladies-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #88 on: November 21, 2007, 09:33:07 PM »
OK, Tom hasn't thawed much and I am trying to iron the tablecloth, lol!  I have SO much to do!  Men just don't understand how much work goes into the details!   :D 

OK, have to go set the table and get the star on the tree.  I'm going to be up before the roosters tomorrow and prob face down in candied sweet potatoes by 4pm!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF YOU!

Thanks for giving to these threads!

~ Cindy  :-*
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #89 on: November 21, 2007, 09:58:44 PM »
Just breezing by...I am sick, I think I have some stomach virus. What goes in one end comes out the other. And I have been leaving offerings to the porcelain god all day. I am also feeling sick to my stomach but the good green has been keeping that at bay. And I am still trying to cook Thanksgiving dinner. My turkey hasn't thawed much either and has been in fridge since Monday. I will also be putting it in the sink in the am.

Rico was suppose to come over but with how I am feeling and trying to cook, I told him not to come. I didn't want to get him sick. But then I get a call from him saying he is at the ER. His back went out on him at work. He is not sure what is wrong and I think when he called they had not called him back there yet.

I am still trying to be a trooper and get this Thanksgiving off without a hitch but it doesn't seem to be turning out that way. Not sure if I will see Rico tomorrow considering, so I may just finish cooking, watch the game and stay in bed.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #90 on: November 22, 2007, 12:20:54 AM »
Oh Queen, I am so sorry that you're sick!  This timing stinks!  ....and Rico is at the ER?  Oh girl, when it rains it pours.  Please take it easy on yourself tomorrow and don't push yourself too hard.  Will your roomie be around to help any with the turkey?

Whatever you do, don't let Rico take the turkey out of the oven with that back, lol.   ;D  Hang in there, GF, I wish things were better for you right now.   :-*

Now I am going to crawl into bed, my head is pounding.....Goodnight all.

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #91 on: November 22, 2007, 06:03:23 AM »
Good morning ladies:I just heard we're supposed to get lake-effect snow today.  That will certainly be different from last year, when, if I remember right, it was in the 50's.  Of course last year, I was at my mum's.   I miss her so much.  It's like sometimes the memories come flooding back and I get very sad.  But, today will be spent with some of my family, so we'll all be there for each other.  My brother-in-law will be picking my dad up and taking his whole oxygen contraption with him to my sister's.  So, hopefully, my dad will be alright today. 

To the cooks, good luck today.  I know the dinners will be perfect.  Cin, Queen, wish we were all together-we all could help with the dinner.  Queen, I hope you're feeling better today.  That sucks, being sick on a holiday.  I hope Rico's back is feeling better.  Good luck to your Cowboys today.  I hope you and Cin's turkeys get thawed! 

Cin, have fun with Iceman today.  I am so glad you have someone to spend Thanksgiving with. 

To all you other ladies, have a great day.  I'm off to check out some more threads, providing this site doesn't kick me off.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!  I am so thanksful for all of you!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline confusedme

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #92 on: November 22, 2007, 01:32:51 PM »
I hope you ladies are having a great Thanksgiving. Mine is not going as planned but I did have high expectations for his first holidays home. I started my period this morning so I feel icky. The water has been off here. I'm kinda emotional and almost teary right now and hubby is gone so I'm all alone.
08/13/07 - Diagnosis confirmed
08/30/07 - T-cells 400, VL 6,500 (Baseline)
11/30/07 - T-cells 428, VL 9,950

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #93 on: November 22, 2007, 03:39:06 PM »
I guess you can say that I am feeling a little better. Still running to the god and leaving my offerings but not sick to my stomach as much. But I feel totally wiped out. I have been catching little catnaps here and there. I didn't get the turkey in the oven til about 1. No biggie cause I am not expecting a lot of people to show up and the ones that I am expecting will be full by the time they get here. More for me.... ;)

The ER gave Rico a shot for his back and not much else. He has to try to find a primary doctor. He will stop over a bit later after making a few stops elsewhere. He knows I have been sick so I don't have to try to be perky cause about now I am so tired that I am a bit grumpy.

No, Cindy, the only thing my roomie did was wash the turkey, I have done everything else. I guess because I said I was cooking the turkey that she assumed I would do the whole dinner. I'm kinda pissed about it but then again I just want the turkey to come out alright. I have been basting about every half hour. The only thing I have left to make now is the corn and since they bird is just a little over half way done, I still got time. I will prolly be eating around 6ish. I just can't wait for this day to be over so I can fall into a coma and just sleep...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #94 on: November 22, 2007, 04:59:22 PM »
Hi all,

Confused, I'm sorry to hear you're upset, or have been upset (also, PMS/period never makes things any easier), I hope so much things will be better soon, I guess the big family thing is in the evening? I don't know what happened but I really hope you feel better ( and/or he gets his act together) soon.

Queen am glad you are better and Rico's better, if not perfect, I'm sure you will have fun tonight. Just be gentle on each other's stomach/back  ;), I know how exauhsting it is trying to cook everything for a huge dinner. But you did it, now you can give yourself a pat on the back and a hot shower.... It's great you're all getting together for the holiday - make sure you don't touch a single dish washing up after the cooking sweatshop...
Had dinner at a restaurant tonight not unlike thxgiving dinner, no turkey, but stew and apple sauce, read cabbage and potatoes. And it's going to be freezing here in the next days too, Betty... Cindy, don't let preperations exauhst you, you're stronger than any dead bird...

My teeth hurt, have to see the dentist. i think might be getting first cavity ever. I have also been stressed, angry, crying, in the last days. Mostly to do with the usual suspects - work stress, future anxiety, lack of esteem. But I am trying to change my outlook and be thankful for all the things I usually take for granted, like Betty wrote.

Hope everyone's turkeys turn out turkeylicious. Almost time to turn in here...

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #95 on: November 22, 2007, 11:29:28 PM »
Well, at least my team won or I think so. The last time I looked at the score it was 24-3. I guess I might as well come out with it. I broke things off with Rico. It's a long story and I really don't want to get into the details of it but he never showed up for dinner either. After not showing up for dinner and a phone call at 10 pm telling me how drunk he was, well let's just say I didn't feel too appreciated. It was fun while it lasted and I'm hurting like hell about now but I'll get over it. I always do.....

I hope everyone had a better day than I did. Even with the sudden turn of events I still have some things to be thankful for... :-\
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #96 on: November 23, 2007, 06:35:08 AM »
Good morning ladies:

Queen, I'm so sorry that things didn't work out with Rico.  I guess the only words of consolation I can offer right now is better that it ended early on, than later.  I don't think I would have stayed in the relationship either with all the not showing ups he's done.  I would've been highly pissed if he called me drunk on Thanksgiving and didn't even show up for the meal.  BTW, how did the turkey turn out?  I bet it was good. You know we're here for ya girl!

Confused, I hope the rest of your day went well.  Sorry things aren't better for you.

Drag, first cavity ever?  Wow!  That's really good.  I remember when I was a kid, my teeth were horrible.  I had a few root canals, and was always getting cavities.  I've had dentures for so long now, I don't even really remember what a toothache feels like.  Nevertheless, I hope you can get it taken care of soon. 

I'm waiting to hear how Cin's dinner turned out!  I ate like a hog yesterday.  I checked my sugar when I got home (big mistake).  It was 399!  I probably should have taken extra Insulin before I went to my sister's for dinner.  Dinner went well.  We ended up taking dinner to my father.  He just isn't doing good at all.  He has lost so much weight, and he shakes all the time.  He's also started falling.  He's just not real steady on his feet anymore.  And I know he misses my mum horribly.  I feel so bad for him. 

Dinner went well at my sister's.  I saw my niece and great-niece. It's the first time I've seen them in four years.  My niece isolated her and my great-niece from her family.  It's a long story as to why and I won't go into it right now.  So it was really wonderful to see them. The dinner was fabulous.  My sister asked me to pray before we ate, so I did.  And I just totally hogged out.  I made two double-layer pumpkin pies.  The bottom layer has a cool whip/cream cheese mix in it and the top layer is a pumpkin/vanilla pudding/milk/spices mix.  It was good also. 

I can't believe people are out shopping so early in the morning.  Crazy!  I haven't been out shopping on Black Friday since I was a kid and my family used to go.  I wouldn't even want to be out in all of those crowds.  To each his own I guess.  Well, I hope all you ladies have a wonderful day!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #97 on: November 23, 2007, 07:39:24 AM »
Hello ladies. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was really good. It consisted of work, eat, sleep and today I have a split shift.  That's okay since Robert's favorite person in the world is home for him to hang out with. My dad , of course. They worked all day yesterday and will probably do the same thing today. We had a bunch of dead  oak branches trimmed yesterday and they are cleaning up the mess.      Betty, my mom is out shopping in the madness. I declined her invitation to go.  I will do my shopping later when it's not so crowded.Sorry about your dad, I remember my Grandpa telling me all he wanted was to go to my Grandma. It hurts but soon he will be happy and healthy again. It's wonderful that until then he has a loving family to See him.                         Queen, sorry about how things worked out with Rico. I bet he missed the best turkey ever made.                                                     Dragonette, sorry you are having teeth problems. I grit my teeth so most of the back ones had to be cut out cause I broke them. I still have all the front ones so I can give my megawatt smile. ;D       As far as my coworker, there are more issues than just my worrying about passing the HIV. He is my dad's age for one thing and he has health problems(blocked arteries), he has surgery scheduled for next Tuesday. i will go visit him Saturday since that is my only day off this week.                                                                              Ml, NYgurl, CM, everyone else, hope ya'll have a great day.     Cristy

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #98 on: November 23, 2007, 07:50:57 AM »
Hi all,

Queen, that royally sucks! I am so sorry, and I am glad you broke off with him. It's not like he gave you a choice either. I really feel your pain, but the good thing is you didn't take that BS. He should be ashamed of himself - bet he will be when he wakes with a royal hungover. Never mind. It's not your concern anymore. Dammit I'm angry.
Hope dinner was alright, though I am sure you didn't taste anything.

Cristy am glad you enjoyed your evening with your family. My pain is not serious thank God, but persistent so I need to check it. What I have noticed is that the bottom of two of my teeth - near the gums, in the inner side of the mouth - there is a black stripe. I see the dentist for checkups, I have no idea where this came from. I will know Monday. Don't really trust this guy, don't like how he treats my being poz, but not too many options.

Betty, one minute you have me swallowing tears over the description of your dad. The next I nearly salivated over the keyboard with those pies. Life is a hell of a bittersweet mixture.

catch you all later, take care


"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #99 on: November 23, 2007, 10:57:55 AM »
Hi GFs~

Well it sounds like we all had some good eats yesterday, but I was shocked to read about Rico!  What the hell shit was he trying to pull?  It just sounds so damn irresponsible, Queen, and I have no tolerance for that!  Ugh!  I am sorry that you're so upset, but its for the best.  What we see in people when things are new, are just the tip of the iceberg, and actions usually mimic whats under the surface tenfold, whether it be good things or bad.  You don't need to be babysitting, even if he was good in the sack.  Clear that pretty head of yours and move on.  I would have done the same thing as you, kicked him to the curb, with you being sick and preparing a turkey, and then he doesn't show up.   >:(  Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Drag~  I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with some inner demons.  I get like that sometimes, feeling insecure and upset.  Just think of where we are and how much worse off we could be.  You're right about being grateful, we are living proof about what to be grateful for!  Now what is going on with those teeth?  I am curious as I used to work for a dentist.  Do you get regular check-ups?  I go 2x a year and I have recently started flossing nearly every day.  You have to, its amazing what you'll find when you don't!  LOL   :o  Keep us posted on the dentist visit.

Cristy~  What is the difference in age between you and your co-worker?  I'm thinking 25 years or so?  I dated a guy last spring who turned 53 when I was still 37.  That's the biggest age difference ever for me, and he was one of the nicest men I dated, we really hit it off, but he was just too busy working everywhere.  He umpired for baseball games over the summer in addition to counseling and teaching as well.  I couldn't keep up with him if I tried!  Wish I had that energy!  If you really like this guy at work, perhaps give it a shot, see if he is sincere.  Maybe go on a lunch date and see what he's like away from work.  He may surprise you one way or the other, and then you'll know where to go from there.

Betty~  A blood sugar of 399!  GF I was dosing up insulin all evening and even crashed from 95 and went lower later on.  Call it insulin overload!  I tell you, everything for Thanksgiving Dinner is loaded with sugar and carbs, except for maybe green beans, lol!  Your pies sounded yummy!  I hope your father was content with staying put yesterday.  Sometimes we're more comfortable just staying in familiar surroundings, you know?  I hope he gets some strength back soon.  I have been reading your posts, about you missing your mother, and I am so sorry, I know its only been a short time.  I thought of you a lot yesterday, even while I was peeling potatoes at record speed.   :)   I was sending good energy your way.  I know this is tough with your mom not being here, but if I remember correctly, she lived a good long life, was she 82, when she passed?  She is smiling down on you, BT, so don't you worry... :-*

Hi Confused~  Sorry you were feeling icky and lonely yesterday, that stinks on a holiday.  I hope you made yourself some hot tea, dosed up on ibuprofen, and pampered yourself.  Feel better, sweetie.

Iceman got here at 330pm yesterday and I was stuck in my shirt, getting dressed upstairs, lmao!  I had a nice blouse on that didn't fit well around the bust (ty, lipo) and I was fumbling with the buttons, trying to get OUT of it and change into something else.  This was right about the time when everything had to go full-tilt in the kitchen, all of the last-minute things. 

I had cut the potatoes into very small pieces and they boiled and were ready in about 15 minutes.  Iceman helped with that, and they turned out SO GOOD!  I stuck him over on one end of the counter, where he was adding butter and milk and getting down with the mixer, lol!  He looked so hot, he has one of those REALLY nice butts that guys at the gym have, you know what I mean?  I was thinking about more than just potatoes in that kitchen......We had an entire dutch oven full of mashed potatoes for just the two of us!  The bird was absolutely yummy, I thought I had dried it out, but I basted until I almost fell into the oven, so it was good!  I spent all morning dancing around to tunes on TV from the Macy's Day Parade, getting things ready.  Cheech thought I was nuts, but was very excited at the festivities and goings-on!

I had set up a very romantic table in the center of my living room, complete with linens and china borrowed from my mother.  Iceman and I ate by candlelight and by the lights of the Christmas tree.  He was positively beaming the entire time, smiling at me, coming over to hug me (big table, lol), and also said I was a very good cook.  Wait until my mother hears that one, she'll laugh, but I can cook!  LOL  Iceman says he's stuck now, since I've found another way to his heart -- through his belly.  He absolutely loved the sweet potato casserole, he had never had it with the marshmallows melted on top.  I think he had three servings!

We got the kitchen cleaned up and I made coffee, set out the pumpkin pie and candies, I lit a bunch of tea candles on top of the entertainment center.  It was very romantic.  Hey, and Cheech even got a pan full of Thanksgiving goodies, he was so excited!  :D

Needless to say, we went to bed late and I was woken up early this morning.   :P  Iceman has to work today, but I gave him a shopping bag full of leftovers for lunch.  He left around 915am, and has his daughters this weekend.  He said he'll come back Sunday night.  I don't know how I can wait that long...

I had a wonderful holiday and couldn't be happier!

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: November 23, 2007, 11:00:57 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Nygurl225

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #100 on: November 23, 2007, 12:05:43 PM »
Hey ladies, I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

Queen~ I know itís hard but at least you saw Ricoís bad side and were able to get rid of him before you had too much invested in the relationship. Keep your head up, you have to go through a few bad ones before you can find the right one.

Betty~ Iím sorry to hear about your dad. I know it must be hard, but he is lucky to have people who care about him. I work in a nursing home and often see people dump their parents off and never call or return. Not even for holidays. Itís so sad! So even though he couldnít have dinner at your sisters with you, Iím sure he felt good that you bought him dinner.

Cj~ I agree with you on the whole shopping thing. I will be staying home today!!

Dragon~ God luck at the dentist. I hope you feel better! I hate the dentist but I guess we all have to go sometime. Dental problems can often lead to other health issues. Many people donít realize this. I hope everything goes well for you.

Cin~ Glad you had a nice dinner. Sounds like you and Ice had a great evening. Iím sure Cheech was grateful for the dinner too!! I gave my cats turkey and they gulped it down then spent the rest of the evening curled up on the couch sleeping off the turkeyís side effects, haha.

As for me Thanksgiving was a bittersweet day. Iím not sure if I told you guys but  Iíve been going through a 3 year custody battle with my ex. On wed I got the phone call that after a long trial that he has lost. This is a man who was very abusive, manipulative and was using my kids as pawns to get back at me for our relationship gone bad, which of course he blames on me because he feels that he does no wrong. Anyway, 3 years of allegations, torment and his attempts to take my children from me finally came to an end. The judge threw out his entire case. He is not allowed to file for custody again unless he has a pretty dam good reason. That  was great news and I was very thankful for it.

On the other hand my youngest kids spent Thanksgiving with him, I have no family in the area so myself and my oldest daughter had dinner. Turkey, stuffing, pies the whole nine.  It was nice, very quiet.

Besides that I guess we can say that Iím struggling with some ďinner demonsĒ myself. Iím a very independent person and I et very frustrated when I canít do things myself. Well being 9 months pregnant that seems to be the case a lot lately.  Iím very angry with MM over the whole car situation and him not being here. So angry that I told him not to bother coming. I donít want him here. I feel like heís done nothing to help me through this pregnancy so why bother now. Iím also a bit depressed about the whole thing. I havenít answered his calls or spoken to him since Tuesday. I want to put up my tree and decorate for Christmas but I have furniture that needs to be moved and nobody to help me. So once again Iím frustrated and pissed. Ďm stubborn so Iíve decided to just go ahead and move the damn furniture myself. If I go into labor so be it, Iím far enough along anyway. Then theres the money situation, still broke and feeling shitty cause my sons birthday is Monday. Stressing Christmas. UGH, Iím just full of issues today!!!! Hopefully most of it is hormonal and it blows over.

Well, Iím off to clean and make an attempt to decorate. Hope you ladies have a great day. Iíll be back later.

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #101 on: November 23, 2007, 12:49:49 PM »
Wow NY, congratulations on winning that drawn out court battle, what a relief! you deserve a big bunch of flowers.

yes, you certainly have a lot on your plate. I can't imagine what it's like being 9 months pregnant let alone when you haveb all those other issues. Today I was listening to these v-blogs on youtube by a woman in such a similar situation to you (except the HIV). she was so depressed, and afterwards with the little baby, so radiant. I hope it will be like that for you. you sound like a most awsome mum.

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #102 on: November 23, 2007, 02:21:34 PM »
It looks like it's that time to start another thread. This one went fast, I guess we had a lot to say.. ;) I woke up around 12:45 and really didn't want to get out of bed then. I had turned my phone off last night, I just really don't feel like talking to anyone today. I feel kind of numb in regards to Rico. I had text messaged my friend who set us up, not to tell her about Rico but to ask where she had been because she was suppose to have come over too. It seems her family had come over from out of state which was where Rico was. I told her I had ended it with him but she says that her family wouldn't let him go. And I am suppose to excuse that? Remember now that my friend is his ex's sister. I really felt some type of way with her saying that like it made it ok. And why do I always have to come 2nd to them in some form or another even if he does have a kid by her and claims one that isn't his. But it's funny to me that when he wants some ass, he knows how to find me. I told her that, she said she understood but I ask myself does she really? She then went on to ask me if I knew where he was. I said no but wanted to say why don't you just call around to your sister's, more than likely that is prolly where he is. So, it is back to the single life again and picking up the pieces of my heart that lay scattered around me.

I would write more but I just don't have the energy right now. Glad to see that most of you had a good holiday. My COWBOYS are 10-1...... ;D Someone needs to start a new thread, who is up for the task?
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #103 on: November 23, 2007, 08:15:43 PM »
Good evening ladies-

Well, I started a thread 2 or 3 times ago, so it's someone else's turn. 

NY, I'm so sorry about what you're going through.  But congratulations on winning that battle!  That speaks highly of you.  I'm really sorry about MM.  But, best you find out now before the baby comes.  I hope he doesn't use the child as a pawn against you like your ex does.  Just hang in there, sweetie.  Things will get better. 

Cristy, I'm glad you had a good day.  You deserve to have one!  You work so much, when do you rest? 

Drag, I do hope you get your teeth fixed soon.  Is there another dentist you could go to?  It sounds like the one you're going to is a prick. 

Queen, I know you can "pick up the pieces" of your heart.  You're a strong woman.  It really sucks, but you did the right thing.  You shouldn't play second fiddle to an ex or an ex's family.  That's just wrong.

Cin, I am so glad you had a good Thanksgiving with Iceman!  My mum was 80 when she died.  I don't know what we're going to do about my dad.  He does have a visiting nurse that goes to his house.  So at least someone is checking on him almost daily.  And I call him, my sisters call him every day.  Usually a few times a day.  But today when I was talking to him, he was babbling and I couldn't understand him very well.  It's like he's in and out of it.   

My cat enjoyed leftover turkey as well.  She's had three helpings so far (not all at once).  Thanksgiving came and went so fast.  I have a feeling it's going to be like that with Christmas.  I hope it lasts for awhile though; I'm sick of time passing by so fast.  It seems I can hardly ever fully enjoy a day anymore.  But, it's onward and upward.  You ladies have a nice evening-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #104 on: November 23, 2007, 11:32:19 PM »
Hi Girls


I have not posted in a while much due to being in a state of severe depression.  Like Queen I have ended things with my Latin Lover  Things have gone from bad to worse.  We are no longer.  We ended things on Sunday and could not have been a worse time, if there is such a thing.  The week I needed him the most,  my two year anniversary of being positive (the day before Thanksgiving) and having to work on Thanksgiving and not seeing my family on that day and finding out that my ex-boyfriend has posted his picture on Poz when he said that after we broke up that he did not want a girlfriend.  Not sure why i am mad about this.  Well, this past Saturday he went out with his wife to San Francisco and then stupid me let him come over that night when he called at 9:30.  Well, I had been bothered by it all night and and all day on Sunday.  The ice breaker was when I found out they would be doing the family thing and making the rounds to her family on Thanksgiving, keep in mind they are separated and yes there are kids involved.  But please!!!  So I told him that I was having a hard time comprehending how could he sleep in my bed on Saturday but spend the day with his wife.  He said that he had been struggling with it and did not feel like he could give 100 % right now and needed to know that he tried everything with his wife and if things did not work out maybe we could give it a try again because he really wants to see where things go between us.   So right now that's where things are at and that just the short version.  I am really depressed and was supposed to have a vacation day tomorrow and now I have canceled my vacation day so I could work and try to keep my mind off of things.  Well, sorry to be a downer but like Queen I just feel numb.  Thanks for letting me vent. 

I tried to thing of a new thread but the only thing that came to mind is that I hate men, but I did not think that would be fair to all of you ladies who are with great men.  God I hate being alone. 

« Last Edit: November 23, 2007, 11:36:32 PM by sunseeker »

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #105 on: November 24, 2007, 03:25:31 AM »
I think I got one and I'll go start it........Part XII on the way Ladies....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline camille07

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  • Posts: 570
Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #106 on: December 13, 2007, 02:26:12 PM »
Hey Girls-

Well tonight has been postponed.  I need to catch up on my sleep tonight since I was out to 3 am and had to get up at 6 for work.    He taking me out to dinner tomorrow.   So another day to sit on this egg.   But I'm not as worried as I was before which is a real relief.

Can't wait to go home, put on comfy pajamas and crash.  Plus its the perfect night....icy, rainy and cold for a nice  hot bath.

hugs,

Camms

Offline wishful

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  • I am pretty content nowadays..Life is gud..
Re: Dating Thread Part XI - A November to Remember...
« Reply #107 on: December 13, 2007, 02:39:10 PM »
Hey Cams, i think u meant to put this in the other thread
Live life to the fullest...

 


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