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Author Topic: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When  (Read 2965 times)

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Offline SteveA

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« on: November 11, 2007, 12:05:58 AM »
Well I've decided that rather that try explaining to people in private why I've put them on ignore only to have them publicly post private messages in an attempt to disrespect me, I would explain myself with a post. I've been accused of using the Ignore feature as some sort of threat when in fact it's not a threat, it's a defense mechanism. If being ignored is threatening to you, I can't help how you feel about it. I do it to keep "Myself" from responding abrasively to the angry posts of others. I've been online for 20+ years and I've been there, done that with flame wars, trolls, baiting and all that wasted energy and frankly I don't have the desire to deal with that sort of behavior these days. You may not like being ignored or like me for ignoring you, but I think you'd like me even less if I responded to the hostility I've seen.

When I see people baiting others, flaming, name calling or otherwise attempting to disrespect people with arguments I put them on ignore preemptively so that I don't end up on their bad side next. I don't just ignore people who have baited myself, I do it to anyone I see using those tactics on others as well. I tried explaining that privately twice only to have the PM's posted in Public to some how make me look bad when in fact, I find that only shows the lack of respect those individuals have for others. I've been wrong about people in the forums before and I'm sure I'll be wrong again. When I have been I've admitted it publicly. That doesn't mean I'm going to stick around for the trash talk afterwards.

For what it's worth, if you feel the need to speak to me, the Ignore feature doesn't work on PM's and I don't publicly repost what I consider to be private correspondence even if it's an attack. Those I just report to the moderators. I will gladly have a civil PM discussion with anyone who doesn't aim their anger and frustration at me. Thanks for your time.

Steve

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2007, 12:09:02 AM »
Well I've decided that rather that try explaining to people in private why I've put them on ignore only to have them publicly post private messages in an attempt to disrespect me, I would explain myself with a post. I've been accused of using the Ignore feature as some sort of threat when in fact it's not a threat, it's a defense mechanism. If being ignored is threatening to you, I can't help how you feel about it. I do it to keep "Myself" from responding abrasively to the angry posts of others. I've been online for 20+ years and I've been there, done that with flame wars, trolls, baiting and all that wasted energy and frankly I don't have the desire to deal with that sort of behavior these days. You may not like being ignored or like me for ignoring you, but I think you'd like me even less if I responded to the hostility I've seen.

When I see people baiting others, flaming, name calling or otherwise attempting to disrespect people with arguments I put them on ignore preemptively so that I don't end up on their bad side next. I don't just ignore people who have baited myself, I do it to anyone I see using those tactics on others as well. I tried explaining that privately twice only to have the PM's posted in Public to some how make me look bad when in fact, I find that only shows the lack of respect those individuals have for others. I've been wrong about people in the forums before and I'm sure I'll be wrong again. When I have been I've admitted it publicly. That doesn't mean I'm going to stick around for the trash talk afterwards.

For what it's worth, if you feel the need to speak to me, the Ignore feature doesn't work on PM's and I don't publicly repost what I consider to be private correspondence even if it's an attack. Those I just report to the moderators. I will gladly have a civil PM discussion with anyone who doesn't aim their anger and frustration at me. Thanks for your time.

Steve


Does anyone really care why Mr Steve [redacted], aged 44 years of St Louis MO, uses the ignore feature? Or even that he uses it?

Matty the Damned believes that any AIDSmed'er who doesn't end up on Mr [redacted] ignore list by the end of the week just isn't trying.

:)

MtD

/edited at a Moderator's request/
« Last Edit: November 11, 2007, 01:54:04 AM by matty.the.damned »

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2007, 12:13:11 AM »
I've been a member here since March 2006 and have never put anybody on ignore.  I don't always agree with what everybody says.  Sometimes, people really piss me off.  Still, I read their posts, as 'most everybody has something of value to say at some point.  Mainly though, if I truly ignore them and don't read their posts, how will I know if they're talking about me?

David (who's really not that paranoid!)
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,277
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2007, 12:14:05 AM »
I've only used the Ignore function one time, over a year ago, and that was on Matty when he said something about my cat;  however, I couldn't stand it and it only lasted a week.

Offline SteveA

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2007, 12:16:54 AM »
I can understand that David. But it's a good feature and it helps me cope with hostility in what I consider to be a healthier alternative for me personally. I'm glad it exists. I wish I didn't feel the need to use it. Life's to short to get into grudge matches with people who flat out choose not to like what I'm saying.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2007, 12:17:19 AM »
Yeah Creighton, but your cat was evil. I had an obligation to call it out. ;)

MtD

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2007, 12:26:25 AM »
If a person feels the need to put me on ignore than to me, I must've struck a nerve. It really doesn't bother me in the least if someone does put me on ignore, it's their choice and it will not stop me from saying what I have to. I don't expect everyone to agree with me but last I knew people are entitled to their opinion(s). If a moderator warns me than it will make me look over what I said and tells me the next time I need to choose my words a bit more carefully....... ::)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2007, 12:30:54 AM »
Crap, now I am getting paranoid!  I wonder who has me on ignore. 

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,918
  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2007, 01:18:07 AM »
Steve~  I don't know if I have completely read all of your posts, but from what I've seen here and there, don't you think this thread is a bit over the top?  I don't mean to start a war with you, we have never communicated before, but I am just on the outside looking in here.  People here know that I mean this in the kindest way, but what the heck is going on with you?

Maybe you've been picked on here more than I realize, and if that's the case, my apologies, we all have different comfort levels.  If someone is offending you, report them to the Mods, and also try to accept a third party's point of view on whatever the topic is.  Usually it just comes down to tensions running high and things being blown out of proportion. 

If there are certain people that cause you grief here in the Forums, then just try to avoid them.  If you feel they are hunting you down, take it with a grain of salt, and report them.  Better yet, take a deep breath, laugh a little, and chill.  Sometimes we all need to grow thicker skins. 

I have to agree with MtD, what is the purpose of this thread?  Maybe you should seek counseling or something, I don't know.  Just trying to help, but perhaps you are a sensitive individual.  I know I have had to "bite my tongue" here in the Forums before, because I knew better than to post something that would offend someone, even when I felt very passionately about it.

Best of luck to you.

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,999
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2007, 04:52:06 AM »
For what it's worth, if you feel the need to speak to me, the Ignore feature doesn't work on PM's

umm, yes it does.


For someone who has the entire forum on ignore you sure do spend quite a bit of time talking about them us. Are you sure you aren't sneaking a little peek now and then? You seem to show up right after Matty someone has posted, and yes, you may not mention Matty that person by name, but it's clear who you're referring to. Why does this all remind me of riding in the car as a kid with my family and my sister screaming, "Ma he's looking at me?"
My mom tried to do what you're doing and put us all on ignore, but she just ended up bat shit crazy.

Now to answer your question about private messages. THERE IS NO SUCH THING! If say for example you send me an unsolicited private message trashing Matty my friend I am under no obligation to keep your message private. Or for example someone sends you a private message calling you on your bullshit and you forward the message to the mods...bingo, you got it, the message is no longer private. Oh, and by the way, threatening folks with the ignore button if they post your unsolicited private message trashing Matty their friend is a sure way to get it made public.

I don't know what is kookier, responding to someone who has you on ignore, or a thread directed to the people you say you are ignoring.

I was about to put Creighton on ignore for putting Matty my friend on ignore, but once you start that it gets all so seven degrees of Kevin Bacon. ;D

tell it sister

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qw3Z8Oa7E3Y

edited for mad typos
« Last Edit: November 11, 2007, 05:02:34 AM by Dachshund »

Offline md

  • Member
  • Posts: 196
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2007, 06:01:18 AM »
If you really wanted to ignore someone you would do just that - ignore them.

There is no need to send private messages or post public messages about it - that just defeats the purpose of ignoring them (not that they probably care anyway) and makes it look suspiciously as if you are actually seeking attention for yourself.


Offline SteveA

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2007, 10:47:16 AM »
Gee, I want attention from a support forum. Who'd have thunk it? What I don't need is the constant disrespect. Tell me who doesn't come to a support forum looking for a little attention and some support and respect. You people just don't get it though. That's really sad. Enjoy the attention you're all getting. I hope it's healthy for you.

Offline ademas

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,151
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2007, 10:59:46 AM »
sheesh.
lighten up a bit, dude.
life's too short.

Offline Tim Horn

  • Member
  • Posts: 799
Re: Why I use the Ignore Feature and When
« Reply #13 on: November 11, 2007, 11:28:09 AM »
Steve:

Listen... instead of spending your time in the Forums focusing on what you're not here for, it's probably best if you focus on what you are here for. We maintain the ignore feature in the Forums as a safeguard for members who are particularly bothered by the public and private postings of others. We certainly encourage members to use this when need be.

Starting a thread about your personal ignore list -- knowing very well that those whom you've ignored are going to have something to say about it -- may be carthartic for you, but it's akin to starting a brush fire (said with apologies to Californians). This is the surest way to start a flame war in the Forums and I just don't see anything truly useful coming from this thread.

Again, keep engaging members, in threads, you're comfortable with and continue ignoring the members and threads that make you uneasy. This is what the Forums is about -- there's no need to again kick up dust that has already settled.

I'm locking this thread.

Tim Horn  

 


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